“No, but the girls will be, and Tina has already asked me if we’ll take her to the Goodwill.”
“Ha! I’d love to,” Maryanne laughed. “I picked up a few things for her last week.”
After Joe unloaded the rest of the food from Maryanne’s car, he went to the shed to prepare items he needed to get the boat ready. The outboard motor was in the back of his van. When the boys arrived, they’d help him carry it over to the boat which was covered with a tarp. The old boat had given the family so much entertainment, he was grateful for it and the cottage. The despair he felt the previous year when everything seemed so bleak was like it had never happened. They’d always miss Harley, but they’d survived her departure. All they could do now was look forward.
Saturday morning sleep becoming too important to Dave; he made the decision Friday night that he would get up as soon as he awoke instead of lazing around in bed trying to fall back to sleep. The first thing he did when he opened his eyes was reach for the phone to look at the time.
“Oh, God,” he moaned. It was only six-thirty.
“What’s wrong?” Bea said, turning over. “Why are you awake?”
“I promised myself I’d get up when I woke up naturally, without the alarm.”
“Your alarm doesn’t go off until seven,” she said, turning back over. “Go to sleep.”
“I’m up now,” he said, getting out of bed.
“Well I’m still sleeping, so keep it down.”
“What time do you want to leave?” he asked.
“Dave, do you mind?”
Grumbling, he left their bedroom for the kitchen and the coffee pot. Sitting at the table with a pot already made was nineteen year old Amanda. “Morning, Dad,” she said. “This is early for you.”
“Why are you up already?” he asked, reaching for a cup.
“I’m anxious to get to the shore. I haven’t seen the cousins in a while,” she answered. Amanda went to school in New Jersey, and although she was close enough to come home every weekend, she had a job. It would be the first weekend since the holidays that she’d been able to get home.
Dave bent over and kissed the top of her head. “I’m proud of you, Amanda,” he said. “My brother’s kids don’t know what they want. The last I heard, Angie was moving home in the summer and going to school at community college like Bennie did.”
“Dad, her mother just died. Give her a break.” Glancing at her father, Amanda was shocked at his callousness, trying not to give it more significance than was warranted. At the stage where she was hypercritical of her parents, she was aware of it, wanting to show him the respect he deserved, but realizing she didn’t really like him all that much.
“Boy, they will milk that for all it was worth,” he said, getting up. “Do you want eggs for breakfast?”
Stunned, Amanda rose from the table. “It’s too early for me for eggs,” she said, leaving the room. Dave watched her walk away, understanding voicing his intolerance was probably the cause but not caring.
Running up the stairs to her room, Amanda decided she was going to ask Sally if she wanted to drive to the shore with her instead of going with the family. Maybe a little distance was in order between her and her father.
While the drama unfolded, the smell of frying onions woke Bea up permanently. “What is he doing?” she mumbled, getting out of bed.
Walking out to the kitchen, she saw Dave with a fork in his hands, moving something around in a frying pan. “I take it by the smell you’re making an omelet,” she said.
Frowning at her, it was obvious he was in a snit already and it not eight in the morning yet. “Yeah, right again, Bea. Do you want any?”
“No thanks, not yet,” she said turning away.
“Your daughter was rude and disrespectful to me this morning,” he said, with an edge to his voice.
“Which one?” Bea asked turning back.
“Amanda.”
Bea had to think about it for a moment. Their girls were the sweetest, most easy going teenaged girls she’d ever met next to Harley’s girls. “Amanda?” she asked, confused. “What brought that on?”
“I told her how proud I was of her and she turned on me,” he said, throwing the spatula down. “It was completely unwarranted. As a matter of fact, I felt like she was purposely provoking me.”
That behavior was so unlike anything either of her daughters would do; Bea didn’t want to say anything until she thought about it for a while, afraid any response would be deemed defensive by Dave in his current mood. Sitting down at the table, watching him, the latest bevy of Dave’s complaints and missteps passed through her memory. He’d been rude to her in front of their friends, stayed out all night the previous Saturday and never gave her an explanation, and had recently charged up their joint credit card with purchases from a local department store that he refused to account for. Fear that he was involving himself with Candace Baker again, Bea was resigned that there was nothing she could do about it but allow the stage to run its course.
“Do you want me to speak to her?” Bea asked, hoping to sound supportive.
But with Dave’s existing frame of mind, it back fired. “She’s acting like she is because of you. You don’t have any respect for me so why should our children?”
Dumbfounded, Bea bit her tongue. His statement was so unfair, it revealed just how muddled he was. If he really believed that he was being disrespected, there was absolutely nothing Bea could do about it. No amount of kowtowing was going to change his mind at this point, so she just stared at him, giving him the opportunity to unload on her which he did with fervor, Bea letting the words pass by without really hearing them.
When he was finished, Bea allowed make-believe in to her thoughts. What would her life be like if Dave left? Thinking of only the negatives this time; in the past she fantasized about living alone, how peaceful it would be without his critical comments. The negatives would include not being welcome at the shore house, Dave with another woman, her daughters and Michael spending the weekend with their father there, Jason and Kathy befriending his new woman, having to listen to the kids talk about how wonderful she was. The scenario sparked something within Bea that set off a torrent of laughing.
“What’s so damn funny?” he growled.
“I’m just thinking about how great it will be for all of us to drive to the shore together with you angry. What a great weekend it will be while you hole up in the den, glued to the TV, barking orders at your mother, insulting me, staring at Kathy’s ass. I can hardly wait.”
“Sally and I are driving there alone,” Amanda said, entering the kitchen in the middle of Bea’s speech. Smirking, she’d heard every word.
“Why?” Dave asked. “It’ll be a waste of gas.”
“I pay for my own gas card, Dad,” she said. “Why do you want to be with such a disrespectful child, anyway? I’d think you’d be thrilled I won’t be in the same car.”
“You know what? I’m not going to Sea Isle. Be my guest, all of you. I’ll stay here.”
“And spend the weekend with Candace?” Bea said, shocking Amanda. “Don’t you dare bring her around here. I’ll tell the neighbors to be on the look out for her and if there are any sightings, they can call me right away.”
Finally reduced to silence, Dave stormed from the kitchen, his omelet left on the stove. Bea watched him flee. Their relationship was like that, cyclic, periods of bliss followed by Divorce Court. But those periods of bliss were getting fewer and far between.
“I guess it’s not fair to you kids, what’s happening between me and Daddy,” Bea said. “Poor Michael, the minute a voice is raised he flees for his earbuds.”
“Smart kid,” Amanda said. “Well, I’m sorry about everything because I think I started this particular uprising. But we’re leaving for the shore whether you and Daddy come or not. I miss my cousins and I want to be in on the budding romance. Sally tells me so far, there’s nothing to see.”
“That’s what my observations are.
They are taking it slow. Very slow,” she said, stretching the R in very out.
“Slow is good.”
Sally joined them, pulling bags along. “Let’s get going. I can’t wait to get there. Mom, is there anything we can take for you?”
“No, I’m not even sure we’re going,” Bea said.
“Dad’s mad at me,” Amanda explained.
“So what else is new? Come on, Amanda. I want to go. Mom, you should come with us. Let Dad act like a spoiled child. I’m so sick of it.”
“Try to have some respect for him, even if it’s just for me to have peace,” Bea begged. “Thanks for the invitation, but I had better stick around to see what he has in mind.”
She didn’t mention Candace Baker again, but she didn’t have to, sound carried in the house and they’d heard every word.
Shortly after the girls left, Dave took off without saying goodbye. It was at that point that Bea suddenly remembered the macabre one-year-anniversary of Harley’s death was that weekend. She’d lost her best friend when Harley died. Being with her family became more important than ever, deciding for her she was going to the shore without Dave. Getting Michael up and moving, Bea gave him Dave’s abandoned omelet for breakfast while she packed up their bag.
“Let’s go buddy! We’re going down the shore!”
Chapter 35
Kathy loaded their bags into the car and then drove to pre-register Laura for T-ball.
“Are you ready to go to Devon’s house?” Kathy asked, looking in the review mirror. Laura nodded quickly, excited.
“Are we going to see my Grandmother Betsy?”
Kathy chuckled, Laura had referred to her mother as Grandmother before she could say mommy. “We are! She got there early today, before we were even up.”
“I can’t wait!” she yelled, kicking her feet. “Hurry, Mommy!”
Devon was waiting for them, standing at the door. “Can we go with Devon?” Laura asked, running to the kitchen. Jason walked out of the kitchen to greet Kathy.
“You look nice,” he said, smiling.
She did, too. Kathy’s looks always took Jason by surprise. She was almost as tall as he was, slender and youthful, her appearance completely natural with no make up and a simple hairstyle. No hairstyle, she’d say. Crunchy Granola would be the way he would have described her if he saw her on the street, he wondered if she shaved her underarms when she was dressed in jeans, that was how wholesome she appeared.
Unless she was dressed in her dealer uniform, with a tight, crisp white dress shirt and a black bow tie. Mandatory red lipstick and black eyeliner, her pale blond hair was twisted into a bun at work. He liked that look too, imagining her in fishnet stockings. Now that she was teaching, he’d probably never see it again unless he asked and wasn’t sure how that would go over.
She didn’t sound like she looked over the phone, her voice was raspy, almost deep, like someone who smoked cigarettes but swore she never smoked. He wondered when he would stop seeing her like this, but then he remembered that even after all the time they were together, he never stopped being surprised by Harley. They’d be in Walmart, she’d be off grocery shopping, he’d be in the auto supplies, and he’d run across her and be shocked. Is that my wife? How do I rate? He thought that every time, telling her when it happened and she’d laugh him off.
“Yeah, right,” she said, walking away. “You must want something.”
“No, I mean it,” he’d persist. “I did a double take, just now. You caught my eye and then I realized you were my woman.”
“Wow,” Harley said, pushing the cart toward the check out. “I’m really flattered. I feel the same way about you.”
“Is that right?” he said, pleased. “Let’s get home so I can do it to you.”
Laughing out loud, Harley play slugged him the belly. It was a moment in their marriage.
Now, as Jason watched Kathy while she talked, taking Harley’s list from Bennie so she could pull items from the cupboard and put them into bags, he wondered if he’d have those feelings about her someday. He was committed to her, like someone in an arranged marriage would be. All the elements were in place; they just needed to get to know one another. The truth was, he was attracted to her now, and it was building. Thankful for it, he knew it had to do with getting to know her better, how kind and considerate she was, jumping right in to help.
“Your wife is an amazing woman,” she said, always referring to Harley in the present tense. “Look!” She pointed to a numbered item on the list. “Cupcake liners. Are you kidding me? I forget them all the time and we have to dig the cupcakes out of the tin with a spoon.”
Bennie burst out laughing. “Mom did it too, hence the item added to the list.”
There wasn’t a second of hesitancy on Kathy’s part when it came to deferring to Harley’s methods. Jason thought if they ever did get married, it might change, but he doubted it. A knock on the front door interrupted his reverie.
“Knock knock, can I come in?” It was Bea. “Dave isn’t going so it’s just me and Michael. Do Devon and Laura want to come with us?”
Cheering yes, the girls came running. “I’ll go with Aunt Bea, Daddy,” Devon said.
“Your daughters were already here to pick up Tina and Angie. Bennie has to work,” Jason said.
“I might drive down after work tonight,” Bennie said.
Kathy put the booster seats into the back of Bea’s car while Bea filled her in about Dave. “I have to make a decision about what to do,” she whispered. “It’s taking a toll on all of us, him being in the house.”
“You’ll make the right decision,” Kathy said, hugging her. “Maybe it’s good you’re coming down to the shore. It’ll give you time to sort things out without him hanging around.”
She helped get the girls buckled in their seats. “We’ll be right behind you,” Jason called, almost done loading the car.
After Bea pulled out of the driveway, Jason absently put his arm around Kathy’s shoulder. “I guess this means we’re going to be alone in the car,” he said.
“A first since our date,” she said, smiling at him.
“Our only date,” Jason said, guilt ridden. “I guess I had better step it up.”
“I don’t care about that,” Kathy said passionately. “I just want to be with you and your girls. The time we’re together is so wonderful, I can’t even explain what it means to me.”
Taken aback, it was the only time Kathy had ever expressed her feelings about him. It confirmed what he needed to know; Kathy was on the same path he was.
“I thought about something a little while ago. About how this is like an arranged marriage,” he said. “Someone went to a lot of trouble to make sure we were right for each other and I think we can trust her. At least I can, after being with you all this time.”
“She’s been gone a year today,” Kathy said. “I think she’d be so happy we’re together.”
“I do, too,” Jason said, embracing her.
It was the first full body embrace, and Jason memorized it. Kathy was completely different than Harley and he wondered with a grin if that was one of Harley’s criteria. He’d ask Bea. Where Harley was tiny and round, Kathy was tall and lean. Small busted, he could feel her against his chest. When he used to hug Harley, he’d let her know how strong she felt in his arms, her back muscular. Kathy felt frail, her thinness evident by the bones he felt, her ribs and knobby spine. He’d make a point of offering some of his mother’s cooking when they arrived at the shore.
“Well, you ready? We can stop and get something to eat on the way down. There’s a sandwich shop off the parkway that has awesome hoagies, better than Wawa.”
“No one has better hoagies than Wawa,” she said, smiling. “Our first fight, arguing about hoagies.”
“We’re not fighting,” he said. “Just sharing ideas.”
“Oh, okay, is that what it’s called?”
“Get in the car, please,” he teased. They bantered back and forth duri
ng the trip, laughing, becoming real companions, with an undercurrent of sexual tension that neither had noticed before, or maybe it was something new.
“So, where do you see us in two years?” he asked.
“Oh boy, that’s a question you’ll have to ask yourself. I’m the woman,” she said, smiling.
“I don’t get it,” Jason said, frowning.
“I mean a man should answer that question.”
“I am dense. I got it. I haven’t allowed myself to think beyond next week up until this second. After Harley died, there was no future for me but seeing to it that my daughters survived. Then once I was sure they’d be okay, I could fade away. I even refused to talk to the guy who manages my 401K,” Jason smiled, but he was serious.
“So you’ve been seriously depressed,” she said, squeezing his hand.
“I guess so,” he answered. “I never thought of it that way.”
“Rightly so, too. What your family has been through shouldn’t have happened to anyone. It’s just not fair.”
“I’ve seen a lot worse,” he said.
“Patient stuff?”
“Yep, really depressing, tragic stuff. Harley and I had a charmed life until she got sick. But I’m starting to feel like a narcissist. Let’s talk about you. I don’t feel like I know anything about your past.”
Kathy chuckled. “Is it really necessary?”
Jason took his eyes off the road for a second to see if she was serious. “I’m not sure,” he said. “I guess it could be if Laura’s father is still in love with you.”
“He’s not, trust me,” she said.
“If you don’t want to talk about him…”
“It’s just that it’s such a bummer, I don’t want to ruin our time together.”
“Does it make you uncomfortable? Because if it does, let’s change the subject.”
“I can’t say it makes me uncomfortable,” she replied. “It’s not my favorite topic. I guess I need to tell you.”
“You’ve been through the worst with me,” Jason said. “You can trust me.”
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