Reeling, Dave knew it was a possibility that she’d date, but thought Bea being Bea, she’d deny it to the death. In the past when they’d fought and he’d accused her of looking, she’d say I have no interest. I’ll never be with another man after this.
“Wow, that’s an about face,” he said, shocked.
“Yeah, hurts, doesn’t it? Get used to it. I’m so sick of you I wish we could get Candace back here to take you home. I should have refused to let her drop you off.”
“I don’t even know how she found the place,” he said, contrite.
“Yeah, well guess what? She took you home first and the neighbors told her we were down the shore.”
“She went to the neighbors?” he asked, mortified.
“The neighbors.”
Making the rest of the trip in silence, the closer they got to home, the more excited Bea became to get him out of the house. It would be a purge; sad and difficult, but healing and freeing. Driving up the driveway, the neighborhood was out in force, an early spring day with enough chill in the air to warrant sweatshirts, but dry enough for yard clean-up.
“I’ll pull into the garage,” she said, hoping the neighbors would leave them alone.
“Good idea,” he said, slouching down in the seat.
Nothing further to say to him, she went into the house and locked herself in her sewing room. Flicking the radio on to a station she loved but that Dave hated, the ethereal sounds echoed through the room, under the door, down the stairs to the kitchen where he paced, calling Candace to apologize and let her know she was going to have a roommate.
“What’s that music?” she asked. “Its sounds like you’re getting a massage.”
“My wife is torturing me,” he replied, looking up at the ceiling. “Let me hang up so I can pack my stuff and get out of here.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
After he hung up, Dave’s growling stomach was a reminder he hadn’t eaten all day. Bea almost always had something in there for him to eat, but since they were going to be away for the weekend, his choices were sparse. Forgetting his agenda, he called up the stairs.
“Bea, what were you going to make for dinner tonight?”
The lock to the sewing room door clicked and she stuck her head out. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No I’m not. I’m starving.”
“You’re on your own now, Dave. Are you okay?” she asked, frowning.
“Right,” he said, turning away. Cheese and crackers would have to do until he could get to Candace’s. Hopefully, she cooked.
Within a half an hour, his car was full. Standing in the kitchen again, he looked around at the space, not seeing anything that he would miss, the clutter of papers and drawings stuck to the refrigerator with magnets an unpleasant reminder of how detached he’d become from his own children. He wouldn’t miss them at all; he didn’t even know if he loved them.
Running back up the stairs, he’d check their shared bedroom one last time. There were boxes of important papers they would need to share for this tax year, but it could wait for another time. The bedroom didn’t mean anything to him as he checked his drawers again. Leaving the bedroom, he stood outside of her sewing room and listened, the drone of the New Age music still playing, but turned down. She must have gotten tired of it as well. Debating whether he should bother saying goodbye, Dave thought about seeing Bea again, that wounded puppy dog look she got with her eyebrows up and her eyes sad. He could do without, so he left quietly, tiptoeing down the carpeted stairs, letting himself out of the front door and carefully shutting it behind him. Her room faced the back of the house, so unless she left the safety of her sewing room and was watching from their former shared bedroom, he was leaving his home and his marriage without a witness.
Chapter 36
The first shore weekend of the season ended peacefully after a rocky start. It was similar to other successful weekends; fishing, games, lots of good food, and a bonfire, which the hardier, younger members of the family usually dominated. But on Saturday, the older people stayed by the fire until the wee hours of the morning, Joe the only man among the grandmothers.
“I could get used to this,” he said early that evening, feeling mischievous. “Three to one.”
Fran, a little worse for wear due to wine almost choked she laughed so hard. “You wouldn’t know what to do with all the attention,” she hollered.
“And when we started making demands, you’d really hate it,” Betsy added.
“Maybe,” Joe said. “Fran has me pretty spoiled. She’d be a tough act for another woman to follow.”
“So no pleural marriage like they have on TV, is that what you’re sayin’?” Fran said. “You’re not going to bring in a sister-wife to help with the chores?”
“Why should I? I’ve got all these women cooking for me,” he said. “That food was outta this world.”
Everyone agreed it was wonderful, especially Maryanne’s bread pudding.
While the family teased each other, Kathy and Jason slipped away for a moonlight walk on the beach. When they were out of sight, Jason took her hand.
“We’ve only held hands in the car,” she remarked, looking down at their intertwined fingers. “I’m so tall, I wondered if we could hold hands and walk together.”
“See,” he said, holding their hands up. “We fit perfectly.”
“Ah. Is that how you see it?” Smiling, Kathy was happy to hear Jason comment something about them as a couple, however veiled it might be.
“I do,” he answered. “I’m dark and you’re light. I have to watch every calorie I eat while you eat like a horse and stay as thin as could be.”
“You’ve got a nice build and I’ve never noticed you monitoring your food intake.”
“That’s because you don’t see me during the week. I’m careful so these pig outs at my mother’s don’t take a toll.”
“That was some feast,” she answered. Walking in silence for a way, Kathy looked over at Jason.
“So what’s your take since Laura and I moved. Are you comfortable with what we’re doing? I’m just wondering because of the girls. They seem so well-adjusted, even Devon.”
“You’ve made a huge impact on my family,” Jason said. “I don’t tell you often enough. Having you around has taken the edge off our misery. That’s not really the right word. We’re changed because she’s gone, but now we can talk about Harley and the good that she was and not every conversation ends in tears and regret. We can rejoice in who she was. You make that possible for us somehow. I’m sure many women don’t want to hear about the late wife. I noticed it’s you who brings her name up a lot of the time.”
“I feel like she’s here with us, that’s probably why. Last week, Tina and I went to Salvation Army to browse after school. It was one of those trips where everything we saw reminded us of something Harley might have liked. ‘Your mother would want you to have this,’ I said a few times. Or ‘My mom wouldn’t approve,’ Tina said, holding up a slinky evening dress. She was with us for the whole trip.
“I know I have to make my own memories with the girls, but this is a start. There might still be some bumps in the road, but I can handle it. I feel like we’re in the honeymoon period.”
“You do? I hope it’s not so short lived as real honeymoons are,” he said, frowning.
“You’ve definitely paid your dues,” Kathy said, squeezing his hand.
“And so have you,” Jason replied.
The confession earlier that day about Laura’s conception shocked Jason. To have been violated, and then to have to live with the results everyday for the rest of her life, well it was unthinkable. Kathy tried to make him understand that from what she had learned from other victims, it was something that never left ones memory anyway. At least by having Laura she yielded a wonderful outcome from so much pain.
As they walked and chatted, Jason’s eyes scanned the sand; an old habit he’d picked up from Harley’s shell collecting days. “Keep you
r eyes peeled in case you see any treasure,” he said.
“In the dark? How can you see anything?”
“You can see white or metal objects in the moonlight. It has to reflect light. Findings from the beach have special meaning. Harley used to say you can plan your week around what you found buried in the sand the weekend before.”
They turned around, heading back to the cottage when something shiny caught Jason’s eye. “Quick, grab it!” Kathy shouted. “The tide is going to take it away.” Pulling his shoes off, Jason ran after it in the cold surf, stamping on it with his foot, hoping it wasn’t something sharp. When the water retreated, he bent down to dig it up before the next wave arrived.
It was a ring of wire, the kind one would find on a key ring. “Look. A ring,” he said, excited, the significance escaping Kathy altogether. Jason examined it and turning it left and right, he dropped to his knee.
“Did you lose it?” Kathy asked, confused.
Jason took her left hand, and kissed it. “Kathy Agin, would you marry me?” he said, sliding the ring of wire on her finger. It was far too big, but she would insist on wearing it until he bought a real one.
Right hand flying to her face, she stifled a sob as he pulled her down to sit on his knee, and kissed her passionately. “Will you?”
“Oh God, I didn’t answer, did I?” she cried. “Yes, of course.”
Neither of them said anything about loving each other. It wasn’t important. Love would come in time, they’d already confirmed that. But they had both loved Harley and trusted her, and if she thought they were good enough for each other, it was good enough for them.
❋
While Jason and Kathy made the commitment to each other, Bea and Dave had ostensibly ended their marriage. Candace Baker stood in the doorway, waiting for Dave to unpack his car. “I’ll pile everything in the garage so I don’t have to keep opening the door,” he said.
“Whatever, Dave. Just bring it inside. Your room is right down here.”
They weren’t sharing a bedroom. “I’m too old for that,” Candace had said. “You’re welcome to live with me for the rest of your life, but we’ll have separate rooms.”
Relieved, not having the energy to put in the effort it would take into romancing Candace, Dave visibly exhaled. Candace noticed and started to laugh. “Jeez buddy, don’t be so relieved. Did you think I was going to ravish you?”
“No, no,” Dave said, chuckling. “Nothing like that. I’m just exhausted, that’s all. I was ready to sweep you off your feet if I had to.”
“You already did that five years ago,” she said. “No more sweeping necessary.”
She put her arm out and he took it, walking along side her to see his new life.
❋
While Kathy and Jason snuck away, Bea watched them leave with conflicting emotions. Staying behind with the grandparents and the children, feeling like the odd man out, she remembered times past where no one was left behind. If a moonlight stroll on the beach transpired, it was with an entourage.
Times had changed. Happy she’d been there from the beginning with Harley searching for that perfect replacement wife and mother; she understood part of the feeling of abandonment was due both to Harley’s death and Dave’s leaving. Jason didn’t need her, but Harley had. Kathy might someday, but for now, she was building a relationship with Jason and his girls, Bea wrongly feeling her friendship was superfluous.
Even when Dave slept next to her, Bea had suffered from loneliness, so the feeling wasn’t new. Leaning back in the chair, listening to her mother who was slightly drunk, and the other adults laughing at irreverent jokes, the girls whispering, probably observations of the older people by their laughter, and the little ones, Devon, Michael and Laura, Bea knew all she had to do was choose a group and reach out to it, and she wouldn’t be alone.
Wondering what Dave was doing, she couldn’t begin to imagine what was really happening at Candace Baker’s bungalow. Rather than engaging in wonton sex as she’d supposed, Dave had returned to the house after Bea left for the shore again, and took the gigantic television down off the wall in the basement rec room. No one ever used it but Dave anyway, so he didn’t feel the need to ask permission.
It now hung on the wall of his little room, single bed, chest of drawers, half bath and dorm refrigerator; it was heaven on earth. He’d have to use the shower in the hall bathroom. After the TV installation, he wandered out to the living room dressed in his usual at home attire; sweatpants and long sleeved tee. Candace was sitting in a recliner with a reality show on.
She looked up from the screen and grinned. “Don’t you look comfortable. Settled in?”
“I am,” he said, sighing. “You’re really great to take me in, Candie. If I didn’t have to go to work I’d never leave that room.”
“Don’t get too comfortable though,” she warned. “I do expect to be taken to the diner on Saturday night.”
“The diner I can manage,” he said. “Let me know when it’s time to go.”
Until Candie summoned him, Dave spent the rest of the evening in repose, watching baseball, napping and downing beers. He didn’t think of Bea or his children once.
Chapter 37
Wedding Day
In her wedding dress, Kathy stood on a wooden box in front of the mirror in Fran and Joe’s bedroom at the Sea Isle cottage. The grandmothers surrounded her, in awe. “You’re absolutely beautiful,” Maryanne said, putting a tissue to her eye.
“It’s that body,” Fran said, shaking her head. “You’d look gorgeous in a sack.”
“But the dress is special,” Betsy added. “Tina, you did an amazing job.”
Waving, unable to speak, Tina knelt at Kathy’s feet with a mouth full of straight pins, jabbing them in at the hemline.
“This décolleté; what do you think?” Kathy asked, looking down. “I mean if I had something up here to show off I wouldn’t question it.”
“You can get away with it because you’re so flat,” Betsy said.
“Great, Mom. Thanks so much for your truthful assessment.”
“It’s nothing we can’t all see,” she replied. “You just said it yourself.”
Taking the pins out of her mouth, Tina spoke up in defense of her soon-to-be stepmother. “She’s going to wear a push up bra. You’ll see. It’ll be beautiful.” Tina looked up at Kathy, her heart swelling with love. Since she’d heard the story that Harley had wanted Kathy for her stepmother, Tina did everything in her power to facilitate Jason’s relationship with her.
“Can I come in?” Kathy turned around when she heard Bea’s voice.
“Well, what do you think?” Kathy asked, Bea quickly becoming an indispensable best friend.
Sincerely moved, Bea smiled, nodding. “All I can say is wow. You look amazing, Kathy.”
“Do you like it?” Kathy asked, hesitant. “I mean the dress is beautiful, but is it too fancy for me?”
“Now what on earth is that supposed to mean?” Fran said, everyone answering at once, “You’ll make a beautiful bride.”
“I feel like I’m built for blue-jeans.”
“Yeah, we all are,” Maryanne said, laughing. “Trust me, you are gorgeous. Jason is going to flip out.”
“He is!” Tina said, standing up. “Please take it off and I’ll start working on this hem. We only have six hours!”
“Six hours and counting,” Bea said. “I am so nervous; I keep tripping over my own feet.”
Fran grabbed her, hugging her. “Me too, sweetheart. I’m so happy and nervous and sick to my stomach.” They pulled Kathy into the huddle when she was close enough.
“I may puke,” Kathy said.
“You haven’t eaten breakfast,” Fran replied. “I’ll fix you oatmeal.”
“Ugh, Granny, no offense but could I have bacon and eggs?” Kathy asked. “Sorry, Tina.”
“No problem, I didn’t even hear it,” she said, running off with the dress, Betsy and Maryanne following to help.
&nbs
p; “Come and see what the girls did outside,” Bea said, taking Kathy by the hand. The living room empty, Megan and Angie were babysitting the three younger children in sand box while Sally and Bennie took charge of the decorations. White folding chairs lined up on either side of the path leading from the grassy parking area to the house, were embellished with white satin ribbon tied around bunches of purple loosestrife and Japanese iris, both of which grew wild along the marshy area behind the cottage.
“Oh, it’s so beautiful! Thank you, girls, so much,” Kathy said, hugging them. “I could never have had anything like this without your help.”
“It was all free,” Bennie said. “My grandmother found the ribbon at Salvation Army and we picked the flowers from the marsh.”
“They’re really weeds,” Sally said. “Pop was thrilled we cut them before they went to seed.”
“They spread by rhizomes and runners anyway, but don’t tell him,” Bea said, chuckling.
“Where are the men?” Kathy asked, looking around. “I didn’t expect to see Jason when we got here from my mother’s place this morning, but Joe and Dave weren’t here either.”
“They’re out fishing, of course,” Bea answered.
“I’m so happy everything worked out between you and Dave,” Kathy said. “Selfishly, I needed you both here. It would have been an awful summer without you.”
“Yes, it seems like we need to stay together for more than just ourselves, and Dave discovered that on his own.”
“Most marriages have struggles,” Kathy said. “It’s a fact of life. I’m just glad you’re together.”
“I don’t see Candace Baker and I sitting next to each other at the picnic table,” Bea whispered. “Anyway, it’s time for us to get to the spa. I can’t wait. Massage, nails, hair and makeup in that order.”
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