When the suns dipped low and the chickens screeched hungry protestations, timna slipped into the henhouse through the door opposite where she left Keedrina. She had no idea how to feed chickens, but surely she could figure it out. timna peeked through the chicken nests at Keedrina—four hours kneeling and she had not moved. timna could only imagine how uncomfortable she must be. She longed to run and release her, but then she’d have to explain the lesson. No, she was committed now.
“Optimess?” Keedrina called timidly.
“Yes?” timna answered.
“Slave was worried over your safety. She is glad you are well. May Slave help you feed the chickens?”
timna smiled. “Yes, you may.” Keedrina would ask to have the twine removed and the lesson would finally be over. timna could hardly wait. She had lost all stomach for the training.
To timna’s surprise, Keedrina tried to stand with her hands still bound. timna cringed and started toward her. Though the try was valiant, Keedrina lost balance and fell flat on her face. timna closed the distance quickly and dropped to her knees at the fallen girl’s side. “timna is sorry, Lady Keedrina,” she said, trying to turn her around to remove the twine.
“No, it is Slave who is sorry, optimess. It was clumsy of her.”
“Never argue with your optimess,” timna chided softly.
“Yes, optimess.” Keedrina cooperated with timna’s attempts to turn her over.
“Oh no!” timna exclaimed as her heart leapt with fright.
“What is it?”
“Do you have something to cut with? timna has to get this twine off you. It’s cutting into your skin.”
“There is a knife near the feed sack,” Keedrina said.
timna dashed to the sack and found the knife. Her eyes filled with tears as the realization of what she had done sank deeper. She shook her head sorrowfully and cut the twine. Keedrina emitted a tiny whimper as timna pulled the twine from where it had embedded. Fresh blood mixed with what had caked around the binding. timna grabbed Keedrina’s shoulders and lifted her. Slowly, Keedrina made it to her knees.
“Please, Lady Keedrina, forget the kneeling,” she pleaded. “You’re hurt.”
Keedrina frowned. “Slave will sit if optimess will please not call her ‘Lady.’”
Hours earlier, that response would have earned a scathing lecture and ended the doomed lesson. It was too late now. “All right, Keedrina. Please sit and let timna look at the wounds.” She refused to call her “Slave” again.
Keedrina slowly pulled stiff arms back in front of her, wincing as she moved. She blinked at all the blood on her wrists. “Optimess, please do not cry. It wasn’t your fault.”
timna cringed through her tears. Optimess was a title of honor, trust, and respect. Keedrina only wanted to be like her and learn. In return, she had tried to cause enough discomfort and humiliation to persuade her adoring trainee not to join her master’s house. It was barely short of treason. “timna is not worthy of being your optimess. This was wrong. Master Vahn would never have done something like this to you. This could scar you forever,” she said between sobs.
“But no one will be able to see it beneath bands, timna,” Keedrina soothed. She started to open her arms, but winced and halted the movement. “Please, Slave will be fine unless the chickens attack and eat us both.”
“Oh, your fine chickens!” What a sad excuse for a guest she had been. She’d left tea dishes sitting, never thanked Keedrina for the meal, assaulted her host, quite likely left permanent scars on someone who was eventually to belong to Master Vahn, and neglected innocent animals in the process. Shame heated her cheeks. “Tell timna what to do and she will clean your wounds and then feed the chickens.”
“Don’t you have to go home? Will Master Vahn be angry with you?”
“Master Vahn said timna could stay as long as she was welcome. timna understands if she is no longer welcome, but please let her help before you send her away.”
Keedrina smiled. “Slave would never send you away, timna. The chickens should be watered first, while there’s still light.”
“Where is the pump then?”
“There is no pump. Water must be fetched from the stream and hauled up here. If we work together, we may be able—”
“No, Keedrina! You’re hurt.”
“You don’t know the way, and even running, you couldn’t finish by yourself before dark. Please, let Slave help you.”
There was no choice. Though it surely pained Keedrina to haul the water, it pained timna more to watch her do it. On the last trip, neither could see and Keedrina led the way by memory. Once inside, Keedrina lit a lamp. timna insisted Keedrina hold the lamp and tell her what to do. The Itzi orphan didn’t argue. timna fed and watered the chickens then gathered eggs.
timna checked Keedrina’s wrists. Her host acted indifferent to the wounds, but they had to hurt more than she was admitting. At least they were clean now after washing in the stream. Keedrina had no salve or poultices, so it would be fruitless to make bandages even had there been material to make them from.
“We should eat now. Slave hopes you like eggs,” Keedrina said, looking down.
Did Keedrina have idea of the guilt she evoked every time she called herself that? “Please don’t call yourself ‘Slave’ anymore, Keedrina. Master Vahn would give you a respectable name. Please use your own name until Master Vahn chooses something. Please?” The whole failed lesson cut timna to the core.
“If you like.”
“timna will make eggs if you want some, but there is enough food left from tea for timna. timna is sorry she didn’t express thanks earlier. The tea was glorious.”
“Keedrina is glad you were pleased. Don’t worry about cooking. Keedrina will help with the leftovers from tea and then we will have a large breakfast tomorrow.”
timna nodded. They both ate from the leftovers. Neither said a word about the dried bread or cold tea.
“timna,” the Itzi said sheepishly, “Keedrina should tell you that there is no more oil for that lamp...”
“Oh! timna had no idea. She is so sorry.” Another stab of guilt sliced through her.
“It doesn’t matter. But we should get to bed as soon as possible,” Keedrina said. The two of them cleared the dishes, made quick adjustments to the blankets to accommodate sleeping, then lay down and blew the lamp out.
timna tossed and turned. The chickens disturbed her somewhat, but moreover, her stomach and head both ached. Guilt gnawed at her. Keedrina had forgiven her, but there would be further repercussions. Even if Keedrina didn’t intend to mention it, eventually her wrists would come to Master Vahn’s attention.
Keedrina would probably take the blame, the same as timna had taken blame for Mistress Saerula. timna couldn’t allow that. Two tiny crop welts were nothing compared to the rope burns and gouged flesh around Keedrina’s wrists. Besides, the mistress had every right to strike her by virtue of ownership. Keedrina was a freewoman and timna had no right to touch her.
Even if Keedrina had been one of Master Vahn’s slaves already, this would not have been right. timna had to tell Master Vahn the first chance she got. If punishment at the ITC was ordered, she would be the first to call it just.
Chapter 22
Keedrina slept well. Her heart was content and full. timna had alerted her to her insufficiency to ask for banding, but the problem wasn’t insurmountable. She wished there were a way she could convince timna that the scratches to her wrists were nothing. She was sorry that it made timna feel so bad that she halted the apprenticeship.
Sleeping in a henhouse, one can scarcely expect to sleep past dawn. Keedrina and timna were both awake as soon as the roosters announced Calla and Cana’s appearance on the Latophian horizon.
Keedrina groaned at the stiffness in her arms. Holding the position had actually hurt her muscles more than the cuts hurt her wrists. She was ashamed of her stiffness and pain, as if her body had betrayed her. She decided with or without timna, she wou
ld work to amend her inadequacies.
She mapped out the next three months in her mind. First, sell the henhouse and land. She hoped Lord Patkus would buy it so her father’s field might rejoin her mother’s homestead and henhouse. However, if the healer didn’t want it, or couldn’t buy it immediately, finding warmer shelter for winter was more important than remelding two deeds. She would sell to anyone who would pay a decent price—she hoped for three months’ living expenses.
Next, she would rent a room in Ny as cheaply as possible. Third, she’d gain employment with a tailor—if possible, something that paid by the piece. She would spend her waking hours on her knees, sewing. Never again would she be caught tripping or falling simply because she had been kneeling.
Keedrina planned soft restraints on her wrists at night. Maybe her old socks would work. She could sleep with her arms behind her back until the position was as natural and comfortable as any other. Surely, over three months, she could condition the muscles to do what was needed for her chosen vocation. She could make this work. She could find a way to belong in Duke Vahn’s house.
Before timna abandoned the training, Keedrina had envisioned further lessons, possibly meeting at The Scarlet Dryad or her rented room. That seemed in jeopardy, but perhaps she could coax timna back to her aid.
“How are your arms, Keedrina?” timna whispered.
“They are fine.” It was stretching the truth, but she saw no point to complaining. Keedrina forced herself to stand. She did her best to hide any indication of discomfort beneath a veneer of cheerfulness. She gathered the dirty dishes from the night before. They had to be washed before they could eat breakfast.
timna got up to help. Soon, a feast of eggs filled both their bellies. Over breakfast, they discussed the rest of the chores. Keedrina wanted to do everything because timna was her guest and too well dressed to stoop to menial and dirty tasks. timna argued that she should do it so Keedrina could recuperate from wounds she had caused, not to mention, timna was supposed to be a slave on loan. Since neither would consent to stand aside and let the other do it, they shared the chores, finishing everything by the ninth hour.
“timna? Keedrina was thinking of going to Ny to see to some business. Would you like to join her?” Lord Patkus might be difficult to track down if he wasn’t at the infirmary. Moreover, Keedrina had no idea where to find a room to rent or a tailor shop. Perhaps timna could help her.
“Keedrina... timna must see Master Vahn first...”
“Of course. You must miss him terribly. May Keedrina walk you home then?”
“timna would like that very much, thank you.”
timna was decidedly quiet as they walked. Keedrina chatted about her plans to sell the henhouse, look for work, and rent a room. timna seemed in a melancholy mood. “Are you all right, timna?”
“Yes, timna is just thinking.”
Keedrina couldn’t think of a polite way to pry, so she kept silent for the remainder of the walk. They took the South Gate into Ny and meandered northeast through the city. Keedrina studied the shingles of the shops they passed, but she saw none for needle crafters. She sighed deeply. “How will Keedrina find a tailor?” she mumbled.
“Master Vahn could probably tell you where to look.”
The Itzi shuddered. She didn’t feel strong enough to face him yet. “Keedrina can’t bother Master Vahn with her trivial problems. He has more important things to do. Keedrina will look for Lord Patkus first. Perhaps he can direct Keedrina.”
“timna understands. Good luck with all your plans.”
They came to the spot where it was time to part. Keedrina could see the infirmary up the street. She stopped and pointed. “That is Lord Patkus’s home.”
timna nodded. “Would you send timna word where you’re staying, when you know?”
“Keedrina will,” she promised. “Don’t worry over Keedrina. She will be fine.” Keedrina initiated the goodbye hug.
timna latched on and held tight. “Whatever happens, remember timna is sorry.”
“There is nothing to be sorry for, timna. Keedrina holds nothing against you. Thank you for coming and staying the night, and all your help. Perhaps Keedrina will see you in town or at The Scarlet Dryad sometime...” She trailed off, losing words.
The young Itzi kissed the Elva woman on the cheek then squeezed a little burst of a hug before breaking contact. It bothered Keedrina that timna seemed so sad, but she was sad too at having to part. Somehow, it seemed like more for timna, but Keedrina wasn’t sure why.
timna sniffled and inhaled deeply. She waved and called a last farewell, then turned and headed toward Rebono Keep. Keedrina echoed the farewell. timna didn’t stop or look back.
Chapter 23
Rebono Keep was quiet—too quiet for timna. She had forgotten that all the Itzi were still in the dungeon. Master Vahn had said she could stay with Lady Keedrina as long as she was welcome or as long as she could stand it. With guilt boring its acidic stain through her, she could no longer stand it. She had to unburden her conscience. Even a whipping could not come close to the inner turmoil she was experiencing. She remembered her ITC trainer once saying, “Punishment cleanses the soul.” She never understood that before now.
timna made her way through the kitchen—the one place she probably wouldn’t find the mistress. It would be hard enough to confess to Master Vahn. If she had to face her mistress right now, timna would probably hand her the crop, bare her back, and welcome the beating.
No one was in the kitchen or the parlor. timna wanted to wash the mountain of accumulated dishes, but she couldn’t stand still. If Master Vahn wasn’t immediately available, she’d do them while she waited.
She walked the lonely halls of the south wing. Master Vahn was not in the library nor his physical training room. Lucky he wasn’t in there practicing his fencing. She didn’t relish the thought of him having any kind of sword in his hand while she confessed. It would be too convenient. While she wouldn’t argue that her actions weren’t near treasonous, she hoped they didn’t warrant death. If she survived his initial rage, surely he’d deal fairly with her.
A peek into the elegantly appointed study revealed Master Vahn poring over parchments. timna swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and dropped to her knees at the threshold. She bent at the waist until her upper body folded over on itself and her forehead touched her knees. The Submissive Kneel was between Abject and Standard, showing deep respect while saving space and keeping uniforms cleaner.
“Master Vahn of the Royal Family Rebono—timna, your worthless slave, has returned from whence you sent her. If it is your pleasure, grant her permission to enter the honor of your presence,” she said in a quivering voice.
Chapter 24
Vahn looked up from his cherrywood desk and frowned. These were neither timna’s usual words nor her usual tone. Why was she back so soon and why was she in Submissive? “timna, you know I do not consider you worthless. Why would you call yourself that?”
Without lifting her head, she answered, “Because timna has failed you, Master Vahn. timna did not bring honor to your house or your name. timna is lower than koopchuk dung and deserving of any punishment you see fit.”
Vahn shook his head and rose from his chair. Saerula had whined incessantly until he had to cook for her to save his sanity. He was still serving the Itzi who rested in the dungeon and chores were piling up everywhere. He didn’t have the time nor inclination to hear timna berate herself for getting mud on her uniform or some other minor infraction. While the custom of taking small imperfections seriously usually brought him great satisfaction, right now he was annoyed. “What could you possibly have done?” he grumbled.
“Master Vahn,” she pleaded, “may timna close the door?”
Something in her tone suggested this was more serious than usual. He softened his mien. “Yes, please rise and see to the door, then come tell me what happened.” Vahn pulled his chair away from the desk, turned it 90 degrees, and retook his seat.
timna shut the door and moved quickly to his feet. She knelt in Submissive again and kissed his boot. She left tears in so doing, which she hastily wiped with her hair.
“timna, please, Standard Kneel and tell me what happened.”
timna straightened her torso into Standard position and took a deep breath. Her tone was timid and she seemed to be fighting tears. “Lady Keedrina said she wanted to join your house, Master, but instead of welcoming her, timna tried to persuade her otherwise.”
“You what?” Vahn barked. “But you knew I wanted her!”
“She planned to submit to you Freewill in three months.”
He could hardly believe it. A Freewill Slave would be a huge asset to his reputation and prestige. “Freewill? She wanted to give herself to me without any compensation?”
“Yes, Master Vahn. She wanted it very much. timna thought she was mad. She asked timna to train her as preparation. timna thought if Lady Keedrina could see how slavery really was that she wouldn’t do such a foolish thing.”
“timna! How could you say that after how well I have treated you?”
“Master,” timna tried to explain hurriedly as the tears fell, “you also said she was still in mourning, that she wasn’t ready. She can sew and read and she has a henhouse and land to sell. She doesn’t have to—” She cut off a moment, caught her breath, then resumed. “timna knows it was wrong.”
“You know me. She would have been safe and well treated here. Yet, you talked her out of it? Do you have any idea how precious Freewill Slaves are?”
“timna did not succeed in talking her out of it, Master. She still wants nothing more than to belong to you...but...” she hesitated as sobs overtook her.
Vahn frowned, regarding her harshly. If she had not succeeded in talking Lady Keedrina out of joining his house, why had she even brought it up? “But what, timna?”
“timna hurt her, Master. She may be scarred...”
The Duke's Handmaid (Book 1 of the Ascendancy Trilogy) Page 10