by Aubrey Rose
Ellie shot him an odd look and then climbed out of the bed and padded across the room. She paused in front of him and Stuart swallowed hard as she stared down at him with her wide blue eyes—blue eyes that he could drown in if he weren’t careful.
“I know this is probably something you don’t want to do, but...” She hesitated and closed her eyes. “Will you hold me?”
“What?”
“Please, Stuart. I know I’m not what you want but please, for tonight, I just need some human contact, someone to hold me...”
He stood and placed his hand on her cheek.
“What do you mean, not what I want?”
Ellie’s eyes opened, the blue glistening with tears that she struggled to hold in check.
“I’m not stupid, I know I’m not the type of woman you’d ever want to get into bed with... But for tonight...”
Without thinking, Stuart bent his head and crushed his lips against hers.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ellie gasped as Stuart’s lips pressed against hers. He was warm and firm, his hands sliding around her, one hand in her hair, drawing her in against him, deepening their embrace.
She knew she shouldn’t kiss him back. It seemed wrong somehow since her mother had just died. And yet in that moment it felt like exactly the right thing to do. She needed his touch, his embrace. It was the only thing anchoring her in the moment, the only thing stopping her from disappearing into her own grief.
Stuart was the one to pull away, his gaze searching as he stared down at her.
“Ellie, I’ve wanted you from the first moment I set eyes on you but after everything you’ve been through, I don’t want to take advantage.”
He was giving her a way out, a chance to turn away.
“I want this, I want you, please...”
The moment she opened her mouth the words tumbled out and Ellie knew they were true. She did want him, need him. And his desire for her had surprised her. Ellie wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to spend the night in the arms of someone who wanted her. Some people wouldn’t understand it but she didn’t care—they weren’t living her life, they didn’t have to suffer the crushing loneliness she had gone through.
Pushing up onto her toes, Ellie pressed her lips to his. Stuart didn’t hesitate and Ellie gasped as he kissed her with enough ferocity to steal her breath.
His hands worked on the dress she wore, working it up and over her head, exposing Ellie’s body to his gaze. She found herself blushing, the colour sweeping up into her face as she struggled to hide from him.
He deserved so much better than her and her wobbly body and Ellie decided it was a bad idea.
“What’s wrong?” Stuart drew away and stared down at her.
Ellie struggled to cover the worst of her imperfections with her hands but it was no use, there was no way to hide.
“I’m sorry, I can’t...”
Stuart nodded and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m sorry, Ellie. I should have known better.”
He tried to hold her but Ellie’s arms blocked him.
“What are you doing?” he said, staring down at her as she struggled to pull the blanket from the bed. At least if she could wrap it around her body it would cover the bits she hated most.
Stuart caught her hand, his other hand on her face as he tilted her face up to his.
“Ellie, what is it? Why are you trying to hide from me?”
The look of confusion was enough to send Ellie over the edge but she had no tears left. The emotions within her had become numb and now she was left with nothing but a great empty ache in her chest.
“I don’t want you to see me... I’m sorry I’m not perfect, you deserve somebody like you.”
Pulling free of his arms Ellie grabbed the blanket finally and started to wrap it around her body but Stuart was there, his hands halting her movement.
“What do you mean, I deserve someone like me?”
“I mean look at me—we don’t match, Stuart. I’ll never be what you really want and I don’t think I can bear to see the look of disappointment in your eyes when you look at me... I couldn’t handle that.”
Stuart stared at her, shock sweeping across his expression.
“Ellie, you’re exactly what I want... Every inch of you. I think you’re beautiful.”
She shook her head. “Don’t just be nice to me, it only makes it worse. I’m not stupid, I already know what I am.”
Stuart laughed and Ellie could feel colour washing over her face again. It spread down her neck and she could feel the heat spreading across the top of her breasts.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because I’ve never heard anything more ridiculous in my life. I’m more than aware of what you are, Ellie.”
She opened her mouth to disagree with him but he silenced her with his fingers pressed against her lips.
He worked the sheet free with his other hand, exposing the front of her body.
“Every inch of you is perfect.”
Ellie shivered and closed her eyes as he pressed his hand beneath the sheet, his fingers sliding against her waist as he dug his fingers into her flesh and pulled her tightly against him.
“There’s not one thing I would change... Not one thing I would wish different.”
Ellie melted in against him as his lips found hers once more. The blanket slipped to the floor, forgotten as his hands moved across her flesh, awakening a desire within her she thought only existed in books.
He swung her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, his mouth moving down over her neck as his hands cupped her breasts through the bra she wore.
Ellie threw her head back as Stuart slipped the bra off and buried his face in against her chest. Pleasure lanced through her as his tongue laved across her nipples and Ellie cried out as he sucked the sensitive bud into a peak.
Ellie’s hands fumbled against his shirt, the buttons proving almost impossible as wave after wave of intensity rolled through her body from Stuart’s touch.
“Wait...” she panted, her breath coming in small gasps.
“I want to feel your skin against me, I don’t want anything between us...”
Stuart’s gaze darkened, his eyes filling with desire as Ellie spoke. The look he gave her as he pushed up onto his knees and started to unbutton his shirt made her shiver with need.
She watched him undress, his muscles rippling as he stood and unbuttoned his trousers. She sat up, her hands helping as he pushed them down, letting them drop to the floor with a thud.
An ache started low in Ellie’s belly as she stared at his hard shaft and without thinking about it she reached out, running one finger down along its length.
Stuart physically shivered, his entire body trembling as she touched him. Ellie stared up at him as he closed his eyes and let his head sink back. It felt powerful and right to know she had such an intense effect on him.
He growled, a sound low and deep within his chest as he crawled up onto the bed between her legs, pushing her down beneath him.
Stuart’s fingers pressed against the entrance to her body and Ellie gasped, pleasure spiking inside as the ache increased. He worked his hand against her, through her knickers, and Ellie ground her body down on him.
The second he slipped one finger inside her Ellie sighed, a long breath of satisfaction that slipped past her lips. Stuart found a rhythm that had Ellie writhing beneath him, the ripples of pleasure within her gradually growing closer and closer together until she couldn’t even catch her breath.
“Ellie...” Stuart whispered her name as he slipped his fingers from her body. With one strong tug he ripped her panties and threw them from the bed.
He slid his hands beneath her hips, lifting her ass from the bed as he moved down over her, his face just above her own as he thrust into her.
Ellie felt her eyes go wide as he filled her. She had thought it was pleasurable to feel his fingers inside her body.
But the way S
tuart buried himself in her left Ellie reeling.
There was only one thought in her mind as he moved inside her, his rhythm slow and languorous.
A pressure built in Ellie’s head as the ache in her belly increased. She wanted more, she needed him deeper and with each stroke of his shaft inside her it only sent Ellie spiralling further down into the haze that filled her mind.
The numbness she had felt earlier disappeared, leaving Ellie with the feeling of being completely out of control.
Every emotion that she had been through for the past year washed over and Ellie clung to Stuart.
His mouth found hers, the kiss long and deep as he moved in and out of her. The pressure spiralled, building until Ellie was sure she would break apart if she didn’t find a way to release it.
Stuart shifted, his rhythm changing suddenly and Ellie found the pleasure intensified in a way she didn’t think possible.
Her mind switched off, leaving her with just the sensations and feelings within her body.
“Stuart!” She cried his name aloud as the white heat of pleasure boiled over her skin, stealing the air from her lungs. Every muscle in her body clenched down as though it understood that she needed him buried as deeply within her as possible in order to achieve the maximum pleasure.
Stuart groaned above her and Ellie felt him stiffen inside her, his thickness filling her in a way it hadn’t before.
It was then the pressure released, the wave of pleasure that had been building inside crashing down over Ellie, and her cries mingled with Stuart’s.
Warmth spread through her, the ache low in her belly suddenly satisfied by the ripples of bliss that spread outward from her core.
Ellie gasped as Stuart rolled from her, taking her body in his arms as he pulled her in against him.
Ellie pressed her ear to his chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat softening the choking tears that clogged in the back of her throat.
She was alive. For the past year her life had been filled with constant pain, suffering and of course grief. Even though it had been her father who had passed, part of Ellie had always felt that he had taken Rosalind with him. And now she was gone too...
Ellie felt relief for her mother, relief that she was released from the hell she had suffered through for a year. But that wasn’t what made Ellie cry. The sudden knowledge that she wouldn’t be able to talk to her mom anymore, that she wouldn’t be able to share the ups and downs or the simple things in life. Heartache that she had met a man who had the power to make her heart skip a beat and her stomach fill with butterflies and yet she wouldn’t be able to share that joy with her.
Grief mingled with happiness and Ellie sobbed against Stuart. He held her without words, his arms tight around her as though he understood that she needed to let go.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Stuart lay in the dark and waited until Ellie’s breathing had settled down.
“I’m sorry...” she whispered to him, making him shift against her.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Ellie. What happened between us...” He paused. “I’m the one who should be apologising.”
Ellie pushed herself up on her elbow and stared down at him. Stuart couldn’t resist reaching up to her and brushing her hair back from her face. She looked stunning and Stuart fought the urge to kiss her.
“What happened between us was amazing... Well, it was amazing for me. What you’ve given me is something to hold onto, a little piece of happiness in all the grief.”
Reaching out, Stuart couldn’t resist brushing his fingers down across her cheek. Ellie moved into his touch, her eyes closing as he cupped her face.
“I just don’t want you to wake up and decide it was a mistake, that I took advantage of you.”
“You didn’t. I wanted this, Stuart. I want you...”
He leaned into her, covering her lips with his, finally giving in to the urge to kiss her. Ellie gave herself over to his touch, to the comfort he offered in his arms.
Leaving her in the morning was one of the hardest things Stuart ever found himself having to do. It didn’t feel right and yet he knew it was important, particularly if he was going to catch Ricky before Grey did.
Stuart climbed from the car outside Riley’s house and bounced up the steps to the front door. If he was really lucky then Ricky had returned to the house the moment he left the hospital but Stuart had a sinking feeling that that wouldn’t be the case.
“Where did you disappear to last night?”
Riley poked his head out of the office, his gaze raking down over the crumpled suit Stuart wore, a smile spread across his face.
“I had some business to attend to.”
Riley nodded and smiled again.
“Ashcroft called looking for you, said he tried your cell but there was no answer.”
Stuart’s mouth instantly went dry.
“Did he say what he was calling about?”
Riley shrugged. “Do I look like your P.A.? Something about having a job for you...”
Pulling his cell from his pocket, Stuart stared down at the missed calls on the screen. It had to be important for David to ring Riley.
“Don’t get dragged back in, Stu. She’s married...”
Riley’s words instantly had Stuart bristling.
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means whatever you’ve found here stands a much better chance of meaning something. I know you care for this Carrie, but she doesn’t want you.”
“You have no idea what anyone thinks, Riley. You should stop talking now...”
Stuart’s voice lowered dangerously as he stared down his brother.
He watched as Riley simply shook his head and disappeared back into his office. Stuart stared down at his phone and pressed the call button. An image of Carrie filled his mind, her smiling face... What if she was in trouble?
Carrie’s face was suddenly replaced with Ellie’s face. The look on her face as he had buried himself inside her, the smiles she had shared with him... The intimacy they had created.
Ellie pushed Carrie from his mind. She was everything he wanted. For so long he’d been under the impression that Carrie was the woman he loved but all he’d done was use her as an excuse. Caring for Carrie and knowing she was happily married meant he didn’t have to really put his heart on the line.
However, caring for Ellie was something else altogether. Stuart practically dropped the phone as David’s voice came over the line.
“Stuart, I’ve been trying to catch you.”
“I know, Riley told me. Is there something wrong?”
“Look, I know you and I didn’t always see eye to eye on everything and I know you cared for Carrie but I’m willing to put all that aside. With the announcement of the pregnancy the media has worked themselves up into a frenzy...”
“I’d heard,” Stuart said, knowing where the conversation was going.
“I know you’ll protect her no matter what. The way you care about her is an asset in a situation like this.”
“David, I can’t, I’ve got too much going on here...”
“How can you? You’re not even that long gone. Stuart, think about this—what could be more important than Carrie’s safety?”
Stuart paused. Of course he wanted Carrie to be safe but that didn’t mean he would be the man to protect her. There was something more important now, something worth holding onto, something worth putting his heart on the line for.
“Look, David, you’ve got some great guys there, they’ll protect her. The only person she really needs is you. You can give her all the safety and protection she’ll ever need.”
“So I take it that’s a ‘no’ then?”
David’s voice was heavy with bitter sarcasm and for the first time Stuart could understand what it felt like to care for someone so deeply you would risk it all.
“It’s a no.”
There was a moment of silence and Stuart could imagine the look of rage on David’s
face. The line went dead and Stuart took the phone from his ear and stared at the screen. The fact that David had hung up on him suddenly didn’t matter anymore. None of it did. The only thing that mattered was ensuring Ellie and those she cared about were safe.
Stuart shoved the cell phone back into his pocket and started for the stairs. If Ricky wasn’t here then Stuart didn’t know where to begin looking for him. But he was sure he could find out.
The room Ricky had been staying in had been empty as Stuart had suspected it might be. There was only one place he could go now that might lead him to Ricky. One place where he might figure out what Grey was really up to and if he had Ricky then Stuart knew he was going to need leverage.
Stuart parked the car outside Grey’s town office and killed the engine.
He took the steps two at a time up to the glass front door and tried the handle but it was locked.
Stuart moved back down the steps and headed around the back of the building in the hopes of finding a door or a window still unlocked.
His cell phone buzzed in his pocket and Stuart scooped it out, staring down at the unfamiliar number before he answered the call.
Pressing the phone to his ear, he used the sleeve of his jumper down over his hand to try the back door.
“Stuart?”
Ricky’s voice was high and filled with tension.
“Ricky, where the hell are you?”
“I’ve just been wandering around all night. Can you come meet me in town?”
There was something about Ricky’s tone of voice that told him something wasn’t quite right but Stuart quickly dismissed it as paranoia. All that mattered was getting Ricky somewhere safe, and at least then he could go back to Ellie, who needed him.
“I’m already in town, come meet me around the back of Grey’s offices. You can help me.”
“Are you sure that’s wise, Stuart? What if someone sees me there?”
“There’s no one here, Ricky. You’ll be fine and I’ll get you back to Riley’s place before you know it.”
“OK, I’ll be right over.”
The phone line went dead and Stuart pushed the cell back into his pocket before trying the windows. The last window he tried slid open noiselessly, and glancing around at the windowless buildings that surrounded the office, Stuart climbed in over the ledge and dropped into the supply room.