by Bree Verity
“Bye Jack.” Desiree could hear the mournfulness in her voice. Apparently Steve could too. He watched Jack walk away, then said, “You’re into him, aren’t you?”
“Yep.” Desiree suddenly remembered that she was here with Steve. “Oh shit. No, but I’m glad to be here with you, right?” She patted his hand and nodded.
“Can’t fool me, Miss Desiree.” He pointed at her with one wobbly finger. “I can tell you’re into that guy.”
“So much,” she said sadly, “Only he’s my student’s dad.” She put one of her elbows on the bar and sighed. “And he’s out of my league. I can only get guys like you.”
Steve was too drunk to be offended. “Yeah, I know. I can only get girls like you.”
“Hey.” She frowned and slapped his arm. “That’s not very nice.” She sighed. “But probably true.”
Jack arrived at his table, a smile lingering on his face.
“Who was that?” Lisa, his date for the evening, smiled up at him as he placed their drinks on the table then took his seat.
“My daughter’s teacher.” He looked back at Desiree for a moment then turned back to Lisa. “Of all the people you don’t expect to see proppin’ up a bar, your kid’s teacher has to be right up there.”
“True. I’m not sure how happy I would be about it.” Lisa gave a sniff. “Especially when tomorrow she will need to be on her game, in front of thirty kids. Seems a bit irresponsible to me.”
Her tone brought Jack’s hackles up. “She’ll manage,” he said lightly, but it seemed Lisa could hear something in his voice, because she looked at him sharply before shuttering her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “Is that her boyfriend she’s with?”
“I don’t know. His name is Steve, and they seem pretty chummy.”
“Good.” Lisa moved her chair closer to Jack’s and put a hand on his knee. “I don’t want to have to share you with anyone.” She smiled and the smile was full of promise. Jack should have been flattered, but all he felt was a choking panic, which he swallowed down, along with a large gulp of bourbon.
Lisa was a good looking woman round the same age as him – slim with long blonde hair that she let flow down over her shoulders. She was dressed in a white pinstripe shirt and a black skirts with black low heels. She looked as if she had come straight from work, however the top couple of buttons of her shirt were undone, allowing Jack a view down her cleavage when she leaned forward, like she was doing now. He caught a glimpse of soft, white, lace encased breasts.
Truth be told, he wasn’t feeling it. Any other red blooded male would have been looking for more of those lovely breasts, and responding to the invitation in her smile. All Jack wanted to do was finish his drink and get the hell out of there.
It was just his luck that Desiree had chosen this bar tonight of all nights. Especially since Jack was doing everything he could to put her out of his mind.
Desiree had pretty much consumed his thoughts since they met up with her at the markets. Her deft handling of the boys, and her green, smiling eyes had Jack undone. But he knew she was out of bounds, so he had taken the only action he could think of – he had cranked up his old online dating account.
He didn’t have much faith in the online dating scene – he had briefly dipped his toe in the water about a year after Susan left, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually meet any of the women he spoke to online. Maybe it was some perception on his part of the women who were dating online being needy, or too picky or something. Whatever it was, that last try had been a failure.
At least this time around he had picked someone and asked them to go out with him.
But the date was doomed to failure when the girl he would prefer to be here with was here with someone else. Someone younger, better looking and more suitable for her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, forcing himself not to turn around and check whether the guy had an arm around her, whispering in her ear and whether she was responding with blushes and warm smiles.
“Jack?” Lisa had taken her hand off his knee and leaned back in her chair. “Earth to Jack? Hello, are you with me?” She seemed amused by his lapse in concentration, which Jack was pleased about. There was nothing worse than a peeved woman sitting beside you. And he could imagine his behavior was something to be peeved about.
“I’m sorry.” He bestowed his most charming smile on Lisa. “My head is all over the place. I guess I’m not particularly good company.”
“You’re OK.” Lisa sipped her drink, holding eye contact. “You’re much better than some of the guys I’ve met up with.” She proceeded to tell him a handful of online dating horror stories that had him laughing, cringing, and apologizing for the boorishness of the entire male population. But they also had him thinking that maybe, just maybe, she was too particular for her own good. Or maybe she wasn’t going to settle. That was fair enough too.
Whatever the reason, Jack had to let her down gently. She really was a nice lady, and she didn’t deserve to be thrown over. It wasn’t polite to leave her guessing.
“Listen, Lisa, I need to say somethin’.”
She held up a hand. “It’s OK, Jack. I already know.” At Jack’s frown, she laughed shortly. “Something changed when you saw that girl at the bar.”
Jack started to explain, but she cut him off. “I don’t really want to know. It’s none of my business. But since you’re not here with her, I’m guessing it’s either history, or she’s unattainable?”
Jack confirmed with a nod.
Lisa smiled gently. “And you’re not over her?”
“No.” Jack didn’t want to go into the details.
“Okay. Well, I tell you what.” Lisa leaned forward, a businesslike expression on her face. “How about you and I forget this is supposed to be a date, and just be a couple of friends having a few drinks?”
Jack looked into her eyes. He saw a friendly, sympathetic gaze, and a wave of relief washed over him.
“That sounds super. Thank you for bein’ so understanding. I really do appreciate it. And sorry…”
“No, there’s no need for apologies. I actually don’t mind not having to do the whole ‘on my best behavior’ thing tonight. It’s been a fairly hectic day.”
Jack inclined his head. “Well, for a lady who’s had a hectic day, you certainly do turn out alright, Ma’am.”
She smiled. “Cheers.”
They both raised their glasses.
Desiree scowled as Jack and the woman laughed uproariously again. Jack was having far too good a time. She hated watching him, hated that other woman, whoever she was, and hated herself for watching with such jealous eyes. She had no right to feel this way.
“I’m going home,” she announced to Steve, who grinned, and jumped off his bar stool on to wobbly legs.
“Can I come too?”
She looked at him and a wave of pity passed over her. “No, Steve. I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“Listen. The other night, I made a bad mistake. I never should have gone there with you.” She looked into his eyes, silently pleading with him to understand.
“But we had such a good time.”
She gave a wry smile. “I’m glad you did, because I really didn’t. I’ve been guilty about it ever since.”
“Why?” Poor Steve looked so confused and miserable, Desiree put a hand on his arm.
“Because I’m really not that into you.”
Steve’s gaze narrowed, and he sobered up in an instant. “So, I was just another one of your quick fucks?” He shook Desiree’s hand off his arm and took a step back, his curled lip and hard expression signaling his disgust. He gave a brittle laugh. “Wow. And I thought I was different to all those other guys.”
Desiree licked her dry lips and tried to keep her voice from shaking. “I don’t usually do that stuff, Steve.”
“Yeah? Because the way I hear it, you pretty much do that all the time. I thought maybe when you came out tonight, when you wanted to keep seeing me, that I
was different. I guess I was wrong. And I was wrong about you. You really are a slut.”
Desiree shied back as if he had slapped her. “What?” She was aghast at the slur. But was it a slur? Or was it the truth?
Everything seemed to slow down, all the colours of the evening mixing together into a muddy swirl in her mind. The buzz of conversation in the bar dulled, until it was only the heavy buzz in her brain and Steve’s voice that she could hear.
“You’re a slut, Desiree. A one-fuck wonder.”
She stood still, shell-shocked by his words. A single tear fell down her cheek. She couldn’t even defend herself because, she realised, it was actually what she had become. She hadn’t meant to. But one night stands and relationships with no future? Steve was right. She used people. She was a slut.
Steve threw a few bills on the bar. “I don’t even know why I bothered. Have a nice life, Desiree. Or not. I don’t care.” And with that, he turned and walked away.
As the world around her returned to normal, Desiree looked around her. No one else seemed to have noticed their conversation. The other patrons continued to laugh and drink, as if a huge chunk of Desiree’s soul hadn’t just died. She swallowed, feeling ill.
She used people, the same way her father had, over and over again until her mother had thrown him out of the house for good.
She was more like her father than she realised.
The thought made her want to throw up.
Then, just as she was about to lay her head in her hands and sob on the bar, she realised something inside herself. She didn’t want to be that person any more. She didn’t want the one nighters and the short termers. She wanted something more. Something different. And she wanted to experience it with Jack. She gave a strangled half-laugh, half-sob. She could march over right now and tell Jack what she wanted. He was right there behind her.
But when she turned, smiling, to where he and his date had been, they were gone.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
The following night, Jack managed to get the kids off to bed without too much drama, and as a gift to himself for the achievement, he cracked open a beer.
He had no idea how he was going to manage this attraction to Desiree. Seeing her at the bar with someone else had given him a dreadful, tight feeling in his chest, which hadn’t died down even though he’d had a great time with Lisa.
He couldn’t explain it. He didn’t believe in love at first sight. And he wasn’t in love. Not yet, anyway. But he felt like he needed to explore the connection further – that whatever he had seen in her green eyes that first time he had looked into them was worth following up.
His initial worries about her not being able to manage the boys had been eased when she stepped in between them at the markets. They had spent the next two days talking about nothing but her. Obviously her unusual look, or something about the way she approached them, had appealed to them as well.
Jack snorted. It looked like all the boys in the Duncan household had been smitten by Desiree.
He would have thrown caution to the wind and called her except for one thing – Faith. While she had been grudgingly accepting of him befriending Desiree, he suspected she wouldn’t be quite so accommodating if he was to actually start seeing her.
He sighed deeply and looked at his watch. It was 10:30pm. He made a mental calculation – it would be 8:30 in the morning in Dallas. He wondered if he should call his sister.
Jack and Maureen had always been close, even though Maureen was a couple of years older than Jack. When Susan had insisted that they move back to Perth so she could be close to her family, Jack and Maureen had bid each other a tearful farewell, promising to stay in touch. But of course, life got in the way, and they really didn’t talk as much as Jack would like. He realized he missed her, and picked up the phone.
“Howdy? Maureen here.”
“Howdy sis, it’s me.” He smiled to hear her voice, which sounded upbeat and happy.
“Jack? Lord above, you sound more like an Aussie every day. How are ya?”
“Yeah good, good. You?”
“Can’t complain. No, actually I can complain. I just got to work.” She chuckled, and so did Jack. Maureen was famous for loving her job.
“So, what’s up, darlin’? How’s the family?”
“They’re all fine. Faith is getting better every day.” He could hear the smile in his own voice, and he heard it reflected in Maureen’s warm tones as well.
“That’s great to hear. I was gettin’ a smidge worried about that girl.”
“You and me both, but she’s workin’ it out.”
“And how about you, Jackie?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. What’s up?”
“Nothin’.”
“Well, that’s a big ol’ smokin’ pile of horse crap if I ever heard one.”
Jack smiled. “Sometimes I hate your intuition; you know that?”
She chuckled down the line. “I know. Now spill it. I can’t sit here on the phone forever you know. I got a job to do.”
“I think I met someone.”
There was a pause, then Maureen said evenly, “Go on.”
“She’s not my usual type.”
Maureen snorted. “Yeah, but all your usual type got you was trouble and heartache.”
“And she’s probably ten years younger than I am.”
“That’s not such a huge gap when you’re forty.”
“And she’s Faith’s teacher.”
Silence.
And more silence.
“Maureen? You still there?”
“Course I’m still here. I’m just not sure what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say ‘Jack, don’t be such an jackass. You can’t date Faith’s teacher. You can’t even think about Faith’s teacher.’”
“No, you don’t.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” His shoulders sagged. “What do I do, ‘Reen? There’s something about her, I swear it. And if she was anyone else, I’d be in there like a bee to a whole sackful of honey.”
“But she’s Faith’s teacher.” Maureen finished his thought, and Jack nodded, although he knew Maureen couldn’t see.
“Well, you know what my philosophy is, Jack?”
“What?”
“Go with what will make you happiest.”
Jack humphed into the phone. “Easy to say.”
“Easy to do, when you work out what it is. Mind, it's what will make you happiest, not just happy. For example, I’m sure you’d be happy with a booty call from the teacher lady, but I’m not sure it would make you happiest.”
“Do you have to be so crude about it?”
“Just telling it like it is, little brother.”
“It’s not just about sex, Maureen.”
“Really? Then what’s it all about?”
Jack thought for a second, then answered slowly. “It’s about… Well, it’s about the chemistry, I suppose.”
“The chemistry?” Maureen sounded dubious and Jack flushed.
“You know, the feelin’ that the other person’s on the same wavelength. That if you got together, the bond would be strong. You know, chemistry.” Jack groaned into the phone. “It sounds foolish, don’t it?”
“No, just unusual coming from you, Jack.” Maureen paused for a moment. “What does Faith think?”
“I haven’t quite mentioned it to her yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because she's doing so well, I don’t want to mess it up.”
Maureen was silent, as if weighing up her next words before she said them. “So really, the only reason you don’t want to go ahead with it is in case it messes around with Faith. And if I know you, and I do, Faith’s happiness rates way up higher than your own ever would.”
Jack’s heart sank. Faith’s happiness was significantly more important to him.
“You’re right, ‘Reen. I hate to say it, but you’re right.”
“I’m always right. You know th
at. But Jackie?”
“Yeah?”
“Faith won’t be there beside you for long. Before too many more years pass she’ll be off, living her own life. If your teacher lady could be a keeper, I’d take that into account as well. You don’t want to destroy your own happiness trying to secure your daughters’.”
“So basically, I’m back to where I started.”
“Uh huh.” Maureen’s tone was perky.
“And you’ve done me no good at all.”
“Uh huh.”
“So, thanks for nothing.”
“Welcome, hon. Always glad to be of service.”
CHAPTER NINE.
“Desiree? It’s Jack.”
A tidal wave of conflicting emotions hit Desiree at force. She tried not to gasp out loud as guilt, shame, fear and stupid, giddy happiness washed over her in varying degrees. Her natural cynic took over quickly.
Get a grip, fucktard. He probably wants to talk about Faith.
“Jack. Hi.” She cleared her throat, hearing the nerves in her own voice. Hopefully they weren’t too obvious to Jack.
“So, how did you pull up after the other night? Helluva hangover next mornin’?” Damn him, he sounded cool as a cucumber. That had been in the fridge. At Antarctica.
“It takes a lot more alcohol than I had the other night to push me into a hangover. What about you? Did you have a good night with your lady friend?” This time, Desiree was sure the jealousy would be clear as a bell to Jack.
“Lisa? She’s a lovely lady, but we decided to just be friends.”
Desiree bit her lip to keep from asking whether the decision had come before or after they had sex. “That’s too bad. She seemed really nice.”
“No, it’s good. Everyone can use more friends.”
“True.”
There was a silence on the line, and all of the emotions that Desiree was trying to get under control ratcheted up tenfold. She waited for Jack to talk, wondering exactly what he wanted to say. Her feelings welled up inside her, more and more with each passing second that there was no conversation. She wanted to tell Jack about how she had changed, and for the better. She wanted to tell him that she thought about him all the time, that she hated every moment he was with someone else.