Nora didn’t see the connection between what Alexander said and what she and Agler had been talking about earlier.
Another tween, leaning forward on a bench, said, “Agler, I don’t think the science enclave was taking the easy way out, though. They needed a chemical, and we don’t have it in Helicon. They were only asking permission to go ahead and make it using muse magic.”
“Yeah,” said Agler, “but it’s apparently going to take a good bit of energy, or they wouldn’t have needed to come to the council about it.”
Another tween girl took a drink from her cup. “But that’s only because of Phoebe. My father says that before she took over the council, there were no rules about how much energy to use.”
“No,” said Agler, “but Alexander made a good point. He said that the science enclave could be using their creativity for a dual purpose. They could be doing scientific experiments and also helping out the community in a practical way.”
The girl shook her head. “That’s completely against everything we do here in Helicon. We’re supposed to do what we want, be as creative as possible, and make inspiration threads. And you can’t be creative about something you aren’t driven to do, no matter how practical it is.” She said the word practical with a good bit of disdain in her voice.
“Well, that’s what Nora and I were talking about,” said Agler, and he turned to her as if he expected her to jump into the conversation.
Nora was sifting through everything she’d said to Agler. She felt everyone’s gaze on her. Her throat felt dry. “Look, all I said was that muses don’t usually work. They play.”
“Exactly,” said the tween girl. “We play. It’s what we’re supposed to do, Agler. Not help the community.”
“Yeah,” said Agler, “but why not? I mean, has anyone here actually tried to be creative at something they don’t feel driven to do?”
Maddie spoke up. “Um, my mother’s convinced I’m going to cook in the food enclave, and I’ve tried to do it for her. But I don’t want to do that.”
“Are you bad at cooking?” asked Agler.
“I don’t know,” said Maddie. “I’m okay, I guess. My mom thinks I’m good at it. But even if I am, it’s like torture trying to force myself to do something I hate.”
“But you can do it,” said Agler, gesturing toward Maddie.
“She hates it though,” said the first tween. “She says it’s torture. I don’t think we should be torturing ourselves.”
“Well, not torturing ourselves,” said Agler. “But I think if it’s for the greater good, then maybe we should undergo a little bit of discomfort occasionally.”
“But we don’t have to,” said the first tween. “We have enough energy to create everything we need. We’d never have to cook food if there weren’t muses who enjoyed it. We could create food if we needed it.”
“But every bit of energy we use is energy we can’t send back to the mundane world, right?” said Nora. “And that is why we’re here. To inspire humans.”
Agler pointed at her. “Exactly.”
The girl tween pursed her lips. “That’s what Phoebe says. That we need to save up all this energy. But she never explains why, does she? Her word is law.”
“Come on,” said the first tween, “the council must have voted on it at some point. We were just too young to remember it.”
The girl took a gulp of her drink and shrugged. “I need a refill.” She got up and wandered over to the edge of the fire pit, where Nora could see a tall barrel with a spout on it. The girl turned it and filled her cup.
Agler pointed at Nora, Maddie, and Sawyer. “Hey, you guys want any? It’s like a wheat beer from the wine and spirits enclave. It’s pretty good.”
“Um...” Nora wasn’t sure what to say.
“There are cups over there,” said Agler. “Help yourselves.”
Maddie didn’t move, but Sawyer got up nonchalantly and went to the barrel. Nora chewed on her lip, but then said, “Sawyer, will you bring me some?”
After all, it wasn’t as if Nora had never drunk alcohol in her life. It wasn’t that big of a deal. And there wasn’t any restriction in Helicon claiming she couldn’t drink. Near as she could tell, the muses didn’t bother with age limits on much of anything.
By the time Sawyer returned with their drinks, Agler was talking again. “Look, all I’m saying is that there are enclaves here that do things for the community, and there are enclaves that don’t. The food enclave, the engineering enclave, the architecture enclave, they all make things that we need.”
Sawyer handed her a cup, and Nora took a drink. The beer was fizzy and cold, with a tiny hint of sweetness. It really was pretty good.
“Hold on,” said the girl tween. “That’s not true. Everyone here does something for the community. Just because you can’t touch it, or eat it, or use it, doesn’t mean it’s not important.”
“There’s a difference, though, Evie, and you know it,” said Agler.
Evie took a drink. “I don’t think there is. What would Helicon be like if there wasn’t music around the fire pit every evening? Don’t we need that?”
“More than food?” said Agler.
“I see what you’re saying, Agler,” said the first tween. “I do. But I think you’re confused, because I don’t think the primary purpose of the muses is to survive. The primary purpose of the muses is to create. So, it’s great if some of the stuff we create helps us survive, but it’s not necessary.”
Sawyer took a long drink from his beer, as if he was gathering courage from the liquid. “Don’t all living beings have the drive to survive deep down, though? I mean, we can’t inspire if we don’t eat, right?”
“Yeah,” said the first tween, “but like I said, if we didn’t grow food, we’d be able to make it anyway. We have energy.”
“But we get it from the mundane world,” said Sawyer.
“And that’s what Alexander’s saying,” said Agler. “If the humans don’t survive, we don’t survive. So, why is it a big deal for us all to pitch in a little bit to make more energy for everyone?”
“You keep talking about Alexander,” said Evie, “but everyone knows that the muse police are just jealous because they can’t create, and we can. They’re stuck with the shit job. Of course, they’re going to tell us that we’re lazy, and we should work harder.”
Agler drained his cup. “If you ask me, the people with the shit job are the engineering enclave. Literally. Because they figured out how to make our toilets work.”
Everyone around the fire laughed.
The first tween sputtered through his beer. “I don’t know why you’re all on this, anyway, Agler. Don’t you keep spending most of your time in the philosophy enclave? And of everybody in Helicon, the philosophy is the least useful.”
“What do you think we talk about in the philosophy enclave?” said Agler. “We try to figure out what our purpose is. Why are we here? Why are we muses?”
“So, it seems like you figured it out,” said Evie, grinning. “So join the engineering enclave and repair toilets.”
Agler shook his head. “I haven’t figured it out at all. I’m just throwing ideas around.” He toyed with his empty cup. “Besides, philosophy is totally useful.”
Evie guffawed. “Oh, now you’re changing your tune when someone attacks your enclave.”
“It’s not my enclave,” said Agler. “I haven’t decided anything yet. I’m only saying that without meaning, everything is empty, right? So without philosophers, who thinks about what stuff means?”
“You could say that about anything here,” said the first tween. “You could say that what the muses do is bring meaning to everything. Beauty and art and emotion and all that. We are meaning.”
“That’s beautiful,” said Agler, getting up and walking over to the barrel to refill his cup.
“So, it’s settled then?” said Evie.
The first tween took a drink. “Nothing’s settled for a philosopher.”
> “I’m not a philosopher,” said Agler. “Just today, I was playing drums with Nora.” He pointed at her with one hand, while bent over the barrel.
“Drums are a good idea,” said the first tween. “We should get instruments. Screw all this talk. Let’s play music.”
“I liked the conversation,” said Evie.
Agler sat back down, beer sloshing out of his cup. “What does Nora want to do?”
Nora felt embarrassed. “Me?” She’d wanted to spend an evening with Maddie and Sawyer. She felt uncomfortable hanging out with the older tweens but also excited, because they seemed so grown-up and interesting. “Well, we were going to hang out in the treehouse.”
“We’re boring them,” said the first tween. “See, Agler?”
“I’m not bored,” said Nora.
“The beer’s good,” said Sawyer. “Conversation too.”
“You’re Sawyer, right?” said the first tween.
Sawyer nodded. “Please don’t tell me that you’re going to ask why I wear skirts.”
The first tween laughed. “Okay, never mind.”
Sawyer rolled his eyes.
“No, but I think it’s really bold,” said the first tween. “I do. Seriously. And I think there’s not enough boldness around here sometimes, you know? We need bold muses. So you’re awesome.”
Sawyer might have been blushing. He told his cup, “Thank you.”
“I’m Jack,” said the first tween. He grinned across the fire pit at Sawyer.
“Seriously, Nora,” said Agler. “What do you want to do?”
“She’s got plans.” Owen appeared out of the shadows, the angles in his face lit up by the fire.
Nora stood up. “Owen.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “Let’s go, Nora.”
Nora scurried over to him.
Agler stood up. “Hold on. You just snap your fingers, and she runs to you? Maybe she wants to stay.”
Owen smirked. “Agler Thorn, right? You’re just a taller five-year-old.”
Agler’s jaw clenched. “Yeah, maybe you’re not so different either, Owen.” He turned to Nora, his expression softening. “You can hang out with us if you want.”
“Nora wants to come with me,” said Owen. “Right, Nora?”
Nora nodded, looking at the ground and not at Agler. For some reason, she felt like she was betraying him. Owen’s hand closed firmly over her own. She let him lead her away from the tweens and rebels enclave, into the woods surrounding it.
When they were far enough away that Nora could no longer see the fire, Owen dropped her hand. He faced her. She could only see his blue eyes in the darkness. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“You were drinking beer with Agler Thorn,” said Owen.
“So?” said Nora.
“You may not remember,” said Owen, “but when we were kids, Agler tormented us. Both of us. He was not a particularly nice person. Maybe he’s grown up, but somehow, I kind of doubt it.”
Nora felt confused. Agler had said that Owen was a bully. Obviously, the truth of the matter was that the two didn’t get along. Maybe it was only little kid posturing, but it meant it was going to be pretty hard for her to be friends with Agler, and she’d liked talking to him. Nora guessed she wouldn’t be going back to the music enclave the next day after all. “He seemed nice.”
“He’s only being nice to you to get to me,” said Owen. “Trust me. He’s trying to piss me off. And it’s sort of working.”
Great. Angry Owen. Just what she needed. But Nora was having a hard time believing that Agler was only talking to her because he wanted to pick a fight with Owen. She knew better than to say that to Owen, though. Once he got an idea in his head, it was better not to try and dislodge it. He’d think what he wanted, and that was all there was to it. She stroked his arm. “It’s okay.”
“You’re not going to talk to him anymore, are you?” asked Owen.
So he was going to make her promise that, was he? Well, she’d already decided it would be a bad idea. “No.”
“Good,” said Owen. He took her hand again. They walked. “I’ve got to say, it kind of worries me, though. I mean, we’re apart for one evening, and the minute I’m gone, you’re drinking beer and hanging out with another guy.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Nora said, sensing a minefield in this turn of discussion. “There were a bunch of us. We were talking.” She decided to try to steer the conversation elsewhere. “So, how was your evening?”
“Don’t change the subject,” said Owen. “It makes it sound like you’re hiding something. Are you hiding something, Nora?”
“No,” she said.
“Because you know I get worried.”
He did get worried. All the time. But he’d never been worried about other guys before. And Nora had to admit that she’d possibly found Agler a little bit attractive. But she hadn’t done anything or said anything that was wrong. She was fine. “Don’t be worried, Owen.” She kissed him on the cheek, trying to reassure him. “I love you.”
“I think I’d feel better about it if I was sure you were committed to this. To us.”
“I am committed.” Why would he think otherwise?
“Then why won’t you make love to me?”
No. They were not back to this conversation again. They’d barely been together for a few minutes, and he was already harping on it. “I will, when the time is right.”
“And when is that going to be?”
“I don’t know. I’ll know in the moment,” said Nora. “We’ll be together, everything will be perfect, and it will just happen.”
“What would make everything perfect? How could things be more perfect than they are now?”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Nora muttered.
“You never want to talk about it, and it never happens,” said Owen. He sounded irritated.
Nora heaved a sigh. She’d been so excited to have a fun evening with Maddie and Sawyer. If she’d never gone over to talk to Agler, none of this would have happened. She knew that if she didn’t make Owen mad, he’d be fine. But it was hard to figure out what would make him mad. It seemed like more and more things set him off. She was exhausted trying to keep up. She pulled her hand away from his, a thought occurring to her. Maybe it wasn’t her. Maybe Owen was the problem. Maybe he got too mad too easily. “Well, it’s definitely not going to happen if you keep pushing me like this. When we argue, it doesn’t exactly put in me in the mood.”
Owen barked out a harsh laugh. “Oh, nice, Nora. So now it’s my fault because I’m trying to fix this problem.”
“Who said it was a problem?” said Nora. “I’m fine with the way things are. You’re the one who’s always getting mad about something. You’re never satisfied with anything.”
“Maybe,” said Owen, “that’s because I’m sexually frustrated, and you keep holding out on me.”
He always made it her fault. She shook her head. “I’m going back to my tent.” She started to walk away.
Owen caught her by the shoulder. “You’re just going to leave? We haven’t spent any time together tonight.”
“If we’re going to fight the whole time, I don’t see the point.”
“We wouldn’t fight if you’d give in already and do it.”
Nora was starting to get mad. “What if I never give in? What then? What if I decide I’m going to stay a virgin forever? Do you want me or do you just want what’s between my legs?” She yanked herself away from him and stalked back through the woods.
Owen came after her. He grabbed her by the arms and propelled her up against the trunk of a tree. She winced as her body slammed into it. “Don’t walk away from me.” Owen’s voice was low and gravelly.
“Let me go,” said Nora. “You’re hurting me.”
“I’m hurting you?” said Owen. “What do you think you’re doing to me? For all I know, the reason you aren’t putting out is because you’re spreading y
our legs for Agler.”
That was ugly. “I would never do something like that.”
“You don’t care about me at all, do you?” said Owen. “You know how hard this is for me. You know how much I struggle to keep myself under control. And you keep pushing me, trying to make me mad. Why can’t you stop?”
“Let me go,” Nora said.
There was the sound of a throat being cleared somewhere behind Owen. Nora was mortified. There was someone else there? What would they think?
“Uh, I think she wants you to let her go.” The voice was young and male, still high-pitched but going through the changes of puberty. Another tween, then, but Nora couldn’t see who.
Owen released her, turning to face the voice.
Nora stepped away from the tree. It was Dirk, Alexander’s son, the one who’d been working on a snow sculpture of a middle finger. Next to Owen, he seemed frightfully small, but he had a defiant gleam in his eye.
“This isn’t any of your business,” said Owen.
“Yeah, maybe not,” said Dirk. “But you work for my dad, and I know that no one in Helicon really trusts you. I’m sure if I told everyone all about this little incident, it would make you way more popular.”
Owen’s fists clenched.
Nora thrust herself between them. “Um, Dirk, it’s really not that big of a deal. We were kind of joking around, you know? Owen’s a little intense, but I think that’s sexy. Let’s go back to the enclave.”
Dirk looked back at the tree Nora had been pinned against. “Yeah, it didn’t really sound like you were joking.”
Nora swallowed. She couldn’t handle it if everyone in Helicon started talking about this. They’d think she was weak, and they wouldn’t understand. Owen was complicated. They had their issues, but what relationship didn’t? She was sure that even Coeus and Phoebe got in some pretty big arguments from time to time. But if people heard about this and took it out of context, they’d think stupid things that weren’t true. “It wasn’t how it looked.”
Dirk raised his eyebrows.
“Please don’t say anything,” said Nora. “He didn’t mean it.”
The Helicon Muses Omnibus: Books 1-4 Page 14