Nora couldn’t handle it and left the room.
Agler wanted to follow her, but he felt like it made him a coward.
So, he stayed, and he watched.
Maddie got really messy, but she eventually got the strips of pork into the cauldron Eldhrimnir, and immediately, everything started to smell delicious.
Saehrimnir had told Maddie the location of some clothes that they could change into, and since her dress was ruined, she changed.
Then, since no one else felt like having an adventure in their Harvest Ball clothes, they all changed. The clothes were soft leather tunics and breeches which fit them like second skins. Agler couldn’t help but looking at the curves of the girls’ legs. And then he noticed—again—how thin Maddie was becoming. She was getting too thin, and he didn’t like it.
Of course, he had no right to say anything to her.
They ate in the main hall, the place where they had come in. The cauldron had somehow turned Saehrimnir into not only deliciously seasoned pork chops but also made some roasted potatoes and greens to accompany the meal. For the tweens, who’d been eating whatever they could put together in the food enclave while trying desperately to keep Helicon from self-destructing, the food was a welcome change. It was the best meal they’d had in a long time, filling and delicious.
Even Nora ate heartily, despite her reservations about eating a talking boar.
“Well, at least we can be reassured that everything’s going okay back in Helicon,” said Roth. “Loki gave back that thing he was using to make everyone sick, and I’m sure my dad is using it to cure all the muses right now.”
“I don’t understand about that,” said Maddie.
“Me either,” said Nora. “Agler, you said Owen made it, but what do you mean?”
“It was a thing that he had when we were kids,” said Agler. “I remember that he used to use it on things that were made with muse magic, and it would make them fall apart or disappear. He thought it was really great fun.”
“But how did he make it?” said Nora.
“I don’t know,” said Agler. “He’s smart, you know. He’s good at stuff like that. Even when he was a kid, he was.”
“Why did he make it?” said Maddie.
“He liked to mess with things,” said Agler. “Hurt things. Break things. He was always like that.” He had nothing but bad memories of Owen Asher as a child. He’d never liked the guy. But, no matter what, Owen had always managed to outsmart him. He couldn’t fight him. No matter what he did.
“So, Owen made himself this toy when he was a kid in Helicon,” said Roth. “And then he gave it to Loki?”
“And Loki used it to cut people off from their magic, just like you said, Roth,” said Nora.
“It works by cutting off an object’s ability to absorb power,” said Agler. “At least that’s what I think he said. I was seven. I’m not really sure if I remember correctly.”
“That would make sense,” said Roth. “The reason that all of the muses got sick is because they’re all connected to Helicon. They absorb the power that comes back from the mundane world. And once they couldn’t do that anymore, they couldn’t make muse magic.”
Maddie nodded. “And all the things they’d done with it, like the electricity, or the chimeras, just disappeared.”
“Well, I guess it makes sense,” said Nora. “But why would Owen give that to Loki? Was it part of a plan?”
Everyone shrugged.
“I guess when we find Loki, we’ll have to ask him,” said Roth.
“If we find Loki,” said Nora.
“Of course we will,” said Maddie.
“I don’t see how,” said Nora.
Privately, Agler agreed with her.
But no one said much else about it.
After dinner, they explored the rest of Valhalla. It was too large to see all of it. The hall was filled with more rooms than they could count. Each of them empty except for beautiful furniture. There wasn’t a soul in Valhalla. But it was untouched and unspoiled and perfect. No layers of dust clung to the surfaces. No spiders had made webs in the corners. Nothing was worn down. Instead, everything sparkled like new, golden and shiny.
“Why isn’t anyone here?” said Maddie.
“Sawyer and I went to see Ned Willow earlier in the year,” said Nora. “He told us that all of the gods in Asgard disappeared, and no one knows why.”
“The same thing happened to the Greek gods,” said Agler. “No one’s seen them in hundreds of years.”
“Because no one believes in them, right?” said Maddie.
“Maybe,” said Agler.
“Maybe they died in Ragnarok,” said Roth.
“You keep talking about that,” said Agler. “What is it?”
“It’s like the Norse apocalypse,” said Roth. “Everything breaks down. The entire world is swallowed by a big snake.” He cast a rueful glance around. “But I guess that wouldn’t make sense, would it? Because the world’s here. It’s only that the gods are missing.”
They were tired, and they talked about each settling in a room by themselves. But they didn’t feel comfortable alone, so they all dragged mattresses together into one room, and there they spread out in the darkness.
Nora’s voice was a whisper. “Tell us about the trip to Niflhel to get Balder, Roth.”
“It didn’t work,” said Roth. “They failed.”
“Why?”
“Because of Loki,” said Roth. “The gods sent Hermod to the underworld, the realm of Hel. And he found Balder there, in the hall of Hel. The goddess told him that if everyone in all the realms would weep for Balder’s passing, then he could come back.”
“Well, everyone liked Balder, right?” said Nora.
“Who’s Balder?” said Agler. His eyes were closed. He wanted to go to sleep.
“Loki got him killed,” said Nora. “He tricked his blind brother Hoder into murdering him.”
“How do you trick someone into murdering someone?”
“Balder was invincible to everything except mistletoe. Loki knew that, and he made Hoder hurl mistletoe at Balder and kill him,” said Nora.
“Weird,” said Agler.
“It’s only a story,” said Roth. “But you’re right, Nora. Everyone did like Balder. Everyone except Loki. And he changed his shape so that everyone thought he was the goddess of darkness, Thok. And she refused to weep.”
“And then they couldn’t bring Balder back?” said Nora.
“Nope,” said Roth.
“I hate Loki,” said Nora.
“Yeah, he’s a jerk all right.”
“How did he even get away?” said Nora. “He was supposed to be tied up, having snake venom dripped on his face every day, wasn’t he? Until the end of the world?”
“What?” said Agler.
And so Nora backed up and told them the story of the death of Balder and Loki’s punishment. After it was over, they were all quiet. Soon, Roth began to snore softly. Agler knew that he should sleep too. But it eluded him. He tossed and turned on the mattress.
He’d come on this journey because he wanted to do something that was good for once as opposed to always screwing things up and hurting people. But as he lay awake in the darkness of Valhalla, he felt a dark coldness in his gut, something that seemed to speak to him, telling him that there was nothing he could do to change what he was.
He might as well accept it. There was something violent inside him. Anger and forcefulness and the desire to strike out.
He wouldn’t be able to stop it.
The feeling pressed against his insides, making him uncomfortable.
And soon, he got up and walked out of the room, leaving his sleeping companions behind.
* * *
Maddie heard Agler get up. She opened her eyes and saw that he was leaving the room.
That was odd. Where was Agler going?
As quietly as she could, she got to her feet and padded after him, staying back, hiding in the shadows.
>
Agler walked back to the main hall, where they’d come in. He stood in the center of the room, thrust his hands into his hair, and crumpled to his knees.
Was he okay?
Maddie darted forward, showing herself. “Agler?”
He looked up to see her. “What are you doing?”
“Following you,” she said. “I wondered where you were going.”
“Couldn’t sleep,” he said.
She went to him, tentatively putting her hand on his arm. “You okay?”
“I’m…” He sighed. “What’s wrong with you, Maddie? After everything I’ve put you through, why are you still being kind to me?”
She drew back. He had to insult her, didn’t he, saying that there was something wrong with her. Maybe there was nothing wrong with her at all. Maybe she was the one who had it together, and there was something wrong with him.
She stood up, walking away from him. She wrapped her arms around her waist.
In the darkness, the air of the main hall was midnight blue, but the surfaces of the tables gleamed brightly, reflecting the light of the moon which filtered through windows high up near the ceiling. This was such a solemn place.
It made her feel cold. But also strong, like her insides had turned to steel.
“I felt connected to you,” she said. “Halloween, when we were together. I felt it. I don’t understand why you didn’t feel anything.”
“What?” Agler sounded very confused.
She didn’t repeat herself. He’d heard her. Her words had echoed cold and clear in the massive room.
“I hurt you, Maddie.”
“Yes,” she said. “You did. When you weren’t there when I woke up, I think my heart broke.”
“No,” he said. “Physically. I hurt you.”
She shrugged. “Maybe a little. It wasn’t bad pain. It was powerful. It felt ancient and binding and like we were joined. But I guess I was the only one who felt that way.”
And then she felt him behind her. The heat of him, the whisper of his breath. He wasn’t touching her. He was so close, but he wasn’t making contact. Part of her wanted to turn to him, to look into his eyes. But she didn’t move.
“I don’t want to be that guy,” said Agler. “I don’t want to hurt you. There were bruises on your body. And I thought about the way you cried after the first time. And I hated myself. I was sure you hated me too. That’s why I left.”
Then she did turn. “I didn’t hate you. Not until you ignored me.”
“Why?” he said. “Why didn’t you hate me?”
She swallowed. “I couldn’t. I wanted you too badly. And I thought… The way you looked at me…”
He lifted his hand as if he was going to caress her cheek.
But he stopped just short of touching her.
His expression was agonized. “I’m not that kind of man. I don’t hurt girls for fun. I wanted it to be different between us. Gentle.”
“I never said you hurt me,” she said.
“No,” he whispered. “But I did.”
She took a deep breath. She caught his gaze with her own, searching his eyes, trying to find some way to tell him what she was feeling. Words didn’t seem to convey all of it anymore. She needed to touch him.
She took his outstretched hand and guided it to her cheek, pressing him there.
He let out a noisy breath.
“Show me, then,” she murmured. “Show me gentle.”
He swallowed.
* * *
Nora woke up, rolled over, and noticed that the mattresses that Maddie and Agler had been sleeping on were empty. A jolt of panic went through her. She turned to look at Roth’s mattress, but he was still there, lying on his back, his limbs falling off the mattress.
She went to him and shook him gently. “Roth? Maddie and Agler are gone.”
Roth sputtered himself awake, pushing her away. He rubbed his face. “What?”
“Maddie. Agler. They aren’t here.”
Roth looked around. “Crap. You think something happened to them?”
“I don’t know,” Nora said.
Roth got out of bed, and they both stood up. Together, they left the room, looking around warily.
There was no one in the hallway outside the bedroom. They made their way back to the main hall, but it was empty as well.
Nora felt panic start to build inside her. “What could have happened to them?”
“Your friends are here,” said a voice.
They both whirled. Saehrimnir was behind them. The boar was complete and whole, as if he’d never been eaten the night before.
“They have gone outside,” said Saehrimnir.
Nora lurched forward, hand out. She had to touch him. “You’re not dead.”
Saehrimnir flinched away from her touch. “Stay back, human child. I am not a pet to be stroked and coddled.”
Nora backed away. “Sorry.”
Saehrimnir pointed his snout at the doors on the other side of the hall.
“Out there?” said Roth.
Saehrimnir nodded.
Roth started towards the door, and she followed.
The doors were huge and golden. Together, they put their hands on them and pushed. There was a groaning noise, and then the doors gave way.
Golden sunlight poured inside.
They stepped out onto a stone walkway. It was green and lush outside. Flowers and shrubbery surrounded the stone, growing wild and tangled, but not so wild that they grew over the walkway.
Agler and Maddie stood several feet away with their backs to them. Agler had his arm around Maddie, and she was resting her head on his shoulder.
Oh, Nora realized. They were missing because they were together. She wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t want to interrupt them. They looked so peaceful and happy together. She tried to motion to Roth to back up and go back inside.
But Roth didn’t notice.
“Seriously?” he said. “Maddie, last night at the dance, you were going on and on about how big of a dick he was.”
Agler and Maddie turned at that.
They were both holding earthen mugs, and they were smiling. They looked perfectly at peace.
“Good morning to you, too,” said Agler.
Maddie kissed Agler’s cheek. “What can I say? I guess I like dicks.” Then she cringed. “I mean—” She covered her face with her hand.
Agler grinned and turned red at the same time. He looked down at his feet.
Roth rolled his eyes and reentered the hallway.
“We were worried,” said Nora. “We didn’t know where you were.”
“We’re fine,” said Maddie. “How are you guys?”
“We’re fine,” said Nora.
“Good.” Maddie couldn’t seem to stop smiling.
“Good.” Nora looked back at the open door. “I’m, um, just going to…” She pointed. “Inside.”
* * *
“You should really have some more mead,” said Agler.
“I’ve got plenty,” bleated a white goat, who had introduced itself as Heidrun. It explained that it ate leaves from the golden tree outside of Valhalla, and then it produced mead instead of milk. The mead was delicious. It was honeyed and sweet, but it had a very full body, meaning that as they drank it, it seemed to fill them up and energize them.
Still, Nora was wary. “We don’t want to get drunk, Agler.”
“You don’t,” said Agler.
Nora sighed, holding out her mug. Agler refilled it from Heidrun. “We’ve still got to find Loki.”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” said Roth, sipping his mead. “Loki yelled something when he was going down the rainbow, but I didn’t catch all of it. He said something about his hiding place, though. Did you hear what he said, Nora?”
She chewed on her lip. “I don’t remember.”
“You were closest,” said Maddie.
Nora nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think.
Nothing.
>
When she opened her eyes, everyone was staring at her.
“I can’t remember,” she said. “I was climbing a rainbow, and I was worried about Sawyer, and everything was crazy. I was a little distracted.”
No one said anything.
She set down her mug. “Look, we have to do something. I know Maddie would be happy treating Asgard like her personal love nest, but—”
“Hey,” said Agler. “Don’t attack Maddie. Nothing that happened is her fault.”
“Maybe it’s yours,” said Roth, raising his eyebrows behind his mug.
“What’s your problem, man?” said Agler.
“My problem is that we’re trying to save Sawyer’s life. He’s stuck in Niflhel, and you two seem too busy playing footsie to help,” said Roth. “You both need to focus.”
“How are we supposed to help?” said Maddie. “We don’t know where Loki is.” She turned on Nora. “You know what I think? I think you can’t stand the fact that Agler likes me now and not you. I think you never wanted to give him up. You wanted all of the boys to yourself. Owen, Agler, Sawyer, and Roth.”
Roth held up his hands, “Whoa. Don’t include me in that. Nora and I are friends, and that’s all. Sure, we occasionally discuss embarrassing sexual quandaries, but in a very platonic way, trust me.”
Nora drew back. “I can’t believe you would say something that ugly. You know, Maddie, your jealousy of me—”
“Hey,” said Agler. “Both of you need to stop it.”
The girls turned on Agler.
He looked at Maddie first. “You know I’m not into Nora anymore, right?”
“Sure,” said Maddie, “but does she know that?”
“I don’t care about Agler,” said Nora. “My boyfriend is dead, or have you forgotten?”
Maddie pressed her lips together.
Roth drank more of his mead.
Nora got to her feet. She stepped away from the rest of them, turning her back on them, thinking of Sawyer—trapped in the Norse underworld, all alone. He wouldn’t know where he was. He didn’t know anything about Asgard besides what they’d learned from Ned Willow. And the play about Freya, she supposed. But that play had really been mostly about sex.
Ned Willow’s story.
And then she turned back around. “I know what Loki said. And I know where he is.”
Roth raised his eyebrows. “You do?”
The Helicon Muses Omnibus: Books 1-4 Page 85