“Yes, we know,” said her father. “Before she made the arrangements, Phoebe came and spoke to us. She said that your friends were very concerned.”
“We had no idea,” said her mother. “We never see you anymore. It was awful. We felt like such terrible parents.”
Maddie’s jaw dropped. “You did so have an idea. Mom, you saw me in March. You told me that I looked really good.”
“Well, that was in March.” Her mother pursed her lips. “Since then, you’ve really lost a lot of weight.”
Maddie didn’t think that she lost that much weight since March. In fact, since March she’d been trying to eat more. On the other hand, she had to admit that even when she wanted to eat, she had a hard time doing it. It was terrifying. It was easier, it was the path of least resistance, to simply keep things up the way she was. Barely eating anything.
The fact remained, her parents already knew. She looked back from one to the other. “Well? Can you do something about it? I don’t want to leave Helicon.”
“Sweetheart,” said her father, “Phoebe seems to think that it would be better for you in Nysa.”
“Don’t you want to get better, darling?” Her mother patted her on the cheek.
Maddie glared at her. “Maybe I don’t need to get better. Maybe I’m just fine the way I am.”
Her parents both stared at her with very sad expressions on their faces. She could tell that she wasn’t going to win this argument. And she wasn’t even sure why she was trying. Her parents were part of the food enclave. They thought eating was pretty much the most important thing in the universe.
Maddie tried another tack. “Please, don’t make me go. I’ll stay here with you guys. I’ll move back in. I’ll rejoin the food enclave. Please don’t send me away. This is my home. I’ve never been anywhere else.” And it was true. Maddie was terrified. Helicon was the only home she had ever known, and it wasn’t even as if she had traveled. There was nowhere that she had gone, ever. Well, unless you counted going to Avalon or Valhalla. But neither of those things did really count, as far she was concerned. One had been an accident. The other had been an emergency. And both of them had been adventures. This wasn’t an adventure. This was a punishment. Plus, she would be going alone. All by herself. She really did start to cry, then. Big, fat tears squeezed out of her eyes, and she started to sob.
Her parents both threw their arms around her again. They made soft shushing noises. They whispered to her that everything was going to be okay.
“You’ll be all right, Maddie,” said her mother. “You’ve always been brave. You’re the one in the family who tries new things. Generation of Salts have been in the food enclave. But you… you decided to strike out and try something new. You became a dancer. You can do this.”
“But we can’t let you stay here,” said her father. “We need you to be healthy. And Phoebe says the nymphs will help you. We have to do what we can to help you, sweetie. You’re our daughter.”
* * *
It was obvious that no one was going to stop this. Maddie was going to get sent off, away from everyone she knew, and no one was going to do a damned thing about it. Maddie didn’t accept it, and she didn’t like it, but she didn’t know how to change it.
She thought about throwing a tantrum or being a brat, refusing to pack or get ready. But she was afraid that would only mean she’d end up in that Nysa place without anything to wear. So, she prepared to leave, but she stopped speaking to everyone.
People tried. Agler came by and talked until her ears bled, saying he wanted her to understand his side of everything. She listened, even though she refused to respond, and what it sounded like to her was that dating her was a big pain in the ass, because Agler had to be worried about her all the time.
She didn’t say anything, but she wanted to tell him that she’d never asked for his stupid worry. She’d never asked him for anything. He was the one who’d started this mess between them. He was the one who got drunk and couldn’t keep his hands off of her. As far as she was concerned, the only good thing about her relationship with Agler was the sex. She wanted to say that so bad. She knew it would make him feel bad, and she wanted to hurt him. But she knew that if she sank to his level, she’d regret it, so she kept her mouth shut. She simply stared at him while he talked. Eventually, he shut up and left.
Nora came by too, with Sawyer. The two of them talked at her for ages as well. Nora started crying. But it was all the same crap. They were worried about her. She was out of control. They didn’t know how to help her. Blah, blah, blah.
Maddie didn’t say a word to them either.
The night before she was supposed to leave, her parents came into the tweens and rebels enclave to see her, which was crazy, because adults almost never came into the enclave. They tried to talk to her too. Maddie didn’t have anything to say to them. She’d already begged them for help. They’d betrayed her.
The next morning, Phoebe woke her up early. She was joined by all Maddie’s friends and her parents. They all stood outside her tent in the gray light of morning, looking mournful.
Maddie wanted to punch them all. They had no idea what this was like. They could be sad all they wanted, but she was the one getting tossed out on her ear. No one in Helicon could deal with her, so they were sending her to the nymphs. Maddie hated them all.
She gathered up her belongings. All she’d been allowed to bring was one bag, so she’d shoved as much of her stuff in there as she could. She guessed she was lucky not to be interested in some kind of creativity that required a lot of props, because there wouldn’t have been any room for instruments or canvases or anything. She wondered if she’d get a chance to dance when she was with the nymphs.
Phoebe led all of them to the west of Helicon. Maddie had never been out this far, past the science enclave, past the math and numbers enclave, past everything. The land here was just a grassy plain. There were a few small streams that wound tiny paths through everything, but they were narrow enough that they could step over them.
After a while, the land grew hilly, and Maddie began to feel tired as she hiked up over one slope after another. Her stomach growled, and she found the sensation comforting. It was a badge of honor for her. She could feel hungry and not eat. It meant her body didn’t rule over her. She ruled over herself.
Except for the fact that she didn’t. Because if she ruled over anything, she’d be able to keep herself from going to Nysa, and she clearly couldn’t do that.
At the top of one of the hills, they all stopped. The sun was struggling into the sky at their backs. Maddie felt hot and a little sweaty. She wanted to go back to bed.
Phoebe checked the height of the sun in the sky. “Well, we’re right on time. I’m sure they’ll be along to collect you shortly.”
Maddie hoped that the nymphs wouldn’t show up. She hoped they’d forgotten about her, or that they’d changed their minds.
But she was out of luck, because—suddenly—a tree started growing at their feet. It was the strangest thing that Maddie had ever seen. All at once, a tiny sapling pushed its way up out of the ground. As they watched, it grew fat, wide leaves, and its branches lengthened and thickened, reaching up for the sky.
They all took a few steps backward, giving the tree the room it needed to grow.
It grew until it was several feet taller than Phoebe, and then it stopped. A door in the trunk opened, and a woman stepped out. She was wild and strange looking. Her skin was dark brown, the same color as the trunk of the tree. In fact, it was almost as if she was covered in bark, as if her skin was made entirely of that. But she had human-like features and limbs. On her head, she had a tangled mass of green hair—but it resembled leaves and moss and other foliage. She wore a green gown that seemed to be made entirely of sewn-together leaves and twigs.
She cocked her head, taking all of them in, her eyes wide. “Hello there.” Her voice was like the trickle of water over stone or the wind in the trees.
Maddie felt i
ntimidated. This creature was so lovely, and she wasn’t anything like her. She didn’t want to go to a place full of such women. It would only serve to make her feel even more inadequate.
“It’s good to see you again, Dakaste,” said Phoebe, offering her hand.
“And you as well,” said the nymph, who must be Dakaste. She shook Phoebe’s hand. Then she let go and let her hand drift through the air until it stopped in front of Maddie. “You.”
Maddie gulped.
“She is the one who is to come with me?”
“Yes,” said Phoebe.
Dakaste opened the door of the tree trunk wider. “Come then.”
Maddie turned to look at the others, her mouth dry. She tried to summon some words to beg them to change their minds. But then she remembered that she wasn’t speaking to any of them.
She squared her shoulders and stepped across the threshold, into the tree.
“Maddie!” cried out her mother’s voice.
“We’re going to miss you,” said Nora.
Maddie didn’t turn around. Let them miss her.
And Dakaste tugged the door shut on the both of them. It was dark. Maddie felt a flood of fear.
But then the door opened again, letting the light back in.
She peered outside. She wasn’t in Helicon anymore. Outside, the world was lush and green, a huge shimmering lake flanked by tall, shady trees. It was warm out there, warmer than in Helicon, which was always summer, but usually a balmy, pleasant summer. This was humid and hot. Bright flowers burst out over all of the surroundings in all the colors of the rainbow. Everything seemed to shimmer and glow.
Dakaste nudged her out the door.
Maddie stumbled out.
“Welcome,” said Dakaste. She was smiling.
Maddie swallowed. She didn’t know what to make of this place.
“Come then.” Dakaste draped an arm around her and began to lead her down a path around the lake. They crested over a hill and came to a grove of trees. There, up in the branches, was an interconnected group of tree houses, each with swinging bridges between them. Dakaste gestured to a ladder ahead of them, and Maddie began to climb up the ladder with the nymph coming behind her.
She reached the top, and Dakaste had her walk down over the bridges for a bit. They passed the houses in the trees, which were made of carved wood with moss-covered roofs. They looked small and cozy. Other nymphs, some who looked like Dakaste, others who more closely resembled flowers or shrubs come to life, were flitting in and out of the houses, many of them laughing in high, tinkling voices.
They paused in front of one of the houses.
“This will be your house,” said Dakaste, throwing open the door.
Maddie peeked inside. It was tiny, containing just a bed and a chair. But both were piled high with something springy and green that looked very comfortable.
“Well,” said Dakaste, “go on in.”
Maddie stepped inside. She set down her bag on the bed.
Dakaste smiled at her. “I’m right in assuming that you’re the silly girl who’s starving herself?”
Maddie flinched. “That’s not it at all. I’m just trying to achieve my weight loss goals. I used to weigh quite a lot more, and I’ve made a lot of progress, but I’m just not there yet. Everyone else thinks that there’s more wrong than there actually is. I’m just fine.” She raised her chin.
Dakaste nodded. “I see.” She wandered over to the window and pulled aside a set of leafy curtains. “So, how much more weight do you want to lose?”
Maddie hadn’t expected that. She’d expected that Dakaste wouldn’t believe her, just like no one else did. She bit down on her lower lip. “Well, I don’t know if there’s a set number, but I guess I’ll know when I see it. Right now, there are just… some problem areas with my body.”
Dakaste turned back. “Like what?”
Maddie looked down at herself. “I guess it’s easier to see with a mirror.”
Just an anticipatory look from the nymph in response.
“My upper arms, though.” Maddie held one up and and pinched underneath it. She furrowed her brow. That was odd. She’d been so sure that there was more there to pinch.
Dakaste seized her other arm and pinched it similarly.
It hurt. “Ouch.”
“There’s no fat there,” said Dakaste. “Not really. That’s just skin. You’re absolutely crazy.”
Maddie didn’t like hearing that. She glared at the nymph. “You’re just like all the rest of them. No one understands.”
“Right. Because you’re crazy.” The nymph giggled.
“I’m not crazy,” said Maddie, looking down at herself. “I really could stand to lose a few more pounds.”
“Nope,” said the nymph. “Not at all. Why would you think such a thing?”
“Because when I look at myself, I see all these flaws.”
“Ah, I see. And having flaws is terrible, is it?”
Maddie blinked. “Well… yeah.”
“Do you know anyone who’s perfect?” said the nymph.
“I…”
“But you think you should be. You think you’re special, and that if you try hard enough, you’ll eliminate all your flaws.”
Maddie was feeling more and more annoyed. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. Because that doesn’t even make sense.”
“Well, you’re a crazy person. You don’t make sense.”
“I just don’t want to be fat.”
“Why not?”
“Well, no one wants to be fat, do they?’
“Why don’t you want it?”
“Because…” Maddie struggled for words. What a stupid question. It was obvious why being fat wasn’t a good thing. “It’s bad. No one likes fat people.”
“Every overweight person you’ve ever met was an outcast, hmm? None of them had good friends or spouses or children who loved them?”
Maddie sniffed. “Well, you know what I mean.”
“I don’t.”
“It’s just that most people like thin people more than fat people. And I want to be thin.”
“So that people will like you.”
“So that… so that I’ll like myself.” Maddie folded her arms over her chest.
Dakaste looked her over. “You’re very thin. And yet you don’t like yourself. I don’t think your plan is working. If you keep thinking the reason you don’t like yourself is because you’re not thin enough, then you’ll waste away.”
Maddie looked down at her feet. “That isn’t what I meant, not exactly.”
“On the contrary, I think it’s exactly what you meant,” said the nymph. “Well, we’ve got to nip this starving yourself in the bud. So, until you like yourself again, you’re going to be fat.”
“What?” Maddie didn’t understand.
The nymph rubbed her hands together, and green sparks began to appear from the friction. She pulled her hands apart, and they were filled with green, glowing particles. She blew them all over Maddie.
Maddie backed away, but the particles settled all over her. They burrowed into her skin, into her mouth and her eyes. She let out a little squeak of terror.
Her heart began to pound. Because she was expanding. Her stomach was growing. Her arms were becoming fleshy and doughy. Her body was exploding.
Her clothes stretched and tore and her skin popped out through the holes in the fabric.
Maddie screamed.
Dakaste giggled. “It’s just fat. It’s nothing to be afraid of.”
* * *
Agler was sitting next to his tent with his drum. He was pounding out a rhythm that he could tell was just a little bit off, but he didn’t care. Sometimes, it bothered him a lot that he couldn’t seem to keep time, or that he was often just a little off key when he sang, but right then, he wasn’t thinking about his own creative shortcomings. He was only thinking about Maddie’s face when he’d tried to explain to her why he’d done what he’d done. How angry and hurt and bet
rayed she’d seemed.
It was only that it wasn’t fair. For the last several months, he hadn’t felt like Maddie’s boyfriend, but instead the guy that had to take care of her. They hadn’t been equals. He didn’t like it, and it had to change.
But he was pretty sure that Maddie hated him right now. And that broke his heart.
Someone sat down next to him. He stopped drumming to look up. It was Nora.
She picked up another drum. He had a few sitting around, because he’d been trying different ones out. He didn’t sound perfect at any of them, though. It wasn’t the drums. It was his own ability.
Nora started to pound out a beat.
He joined in. Like the muses in the music enclave, Nora’s beats were perfect, like she was keying in to some all-encompassing beat of nature or something. Nora was really too talented for her own good. Was there nothing the girl wasn’t good at? He looked askance at her, taking in her red hair and her pretty face.
Yeah, there was a reason that he’d been obsessed with her. She was definitely something else.
He wasn’t sure why those feelings had faded, why he’d fallen so hard for Maddie instead. Love didn’t make any sense.
“You thinking about her?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Nora. She stopped drumming. “We did the right thing.”
He stopped too. “You sure about that?”
She nodded fiercely. Maybe too fiercely. “She needed help. She’s getting it.”
“Right,” he said.
“Nothing actually bad is happening to her.”
Agler nodded. He started beating his drum again.
Nora joined in.
Together, they lost themselves in the music.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Maddie had been fat for weeks now. Maybe even a month. She wasn’t sure. Time seemed to be passing in a blur here. The nymphs weren’t much for following a schedule. Every day was different, and there were lots of parties and excursions and feasts. That’s because the nymphs were even less restrained than the muses. They didn’t take much of anything seriously. They laughed at Maddie when she got angry and yelled. They laughed when she sobbed. Routinely, they all got very, very drunk, so drunk that they ripped off their clothes and ran around screaming. Generally, they ended up destroying something or else jumping in the lake and thrashing about.
The Helicon Muses Omnibus: Books 1-4 Page 105