Jamie, for making me pee with laughter every time we talk, and for always knowing exactly what I mean (especially when you-know-who is home and I have to whisper). Jeff, for never changing, for taking all of my shit when I moved, and for staying a true, dear friend for multiple decades, but man, your cell phone still sucks.
Kelly Kulchak, who is the coolest dork I know, for her endurance, belief in us, and outdorking me EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY. I love you, but not in that way.
Adam Korn, sweet Adam Korn, for still picking up the phone when my number pops up on caller ID (may I say again I think AKorn is funny, but let’s just all be glad it’s not AHole), and the wickedly addicting Mickey Rolfe, for his fabulous stories and downright impossible good looks. To David Dunton, for keeping my shit straight and babysitting me; and Shari Smiley, Kathy White, and Sonya Rosenfeld for working hard and watching out for me.
Annie Klein (I miss you!); Team Pretty (I am sure I’ve driven you nuts); Donna Passanante; Nina Graybill; Pamela Cannon; Beth Pearson; Laura Goldin; Kimberly Obitz; Meg Halverson; Bill Hummel; Theresa Cano; Kathy Murillo; Doug Kinne; Sessalee Hensley; Jules Herbert; Craig Browning; Duane Neff; Amy Silverman; Deborah Sussman; Cindy Dasch; Laura Greenberg; Beth Kawasaki; Eric Searleman; Michelle Savoy; Charlie Levy; Patrick and Adrianne Sedillo; Charlie Pabst; Colleen Steinberg; Erica Bernth; Maryn Silverberg; Mary Jo, Henry, and Sylvia at Rosita’s; Marie, Becky, and Rhonda from Fairfax; Bill Homuth; Sharon Hise; the Public Library Association; the Arizona Library Association; Scottsdale Library (even if the other authors at the fundraiser thought I was a community-college student doing a research paper and asked me to get them drinks); Changing Hands; and bookstores big and little and their employees, for your wonderful support. To everyone who was SO NICE to me on the last tour, and especially David in SF who took me to Pancho Villa and then stole ice cream with me (that kicked ass).
And then, of course, there’s the girls, Kate, Nikki, Sara, Sandra, and Krysti, my wonderful and patient friends. I’m sorry I am the suckiest of them all. I will try to do better.
I’m also sorry to my mother-in-law for hiding from her and eating a candy bar instead of answering the doorbell. I know it wasn’t nice and I wish I could promise it won’t happen again, but if I don’t have a bra on, I won’t answer that door if Ed McMahon or Rapture Jesus is knocking on it.
And the biggest, most obnoxious thanks of all goes to all of my pals who have joined the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club, have e-mailed me, have waited months for me to get the kits out (more apologies), have come from near and far to a reading, have stood in line to get their book signed by this asshole girl, and have been so truly, truly kind to me. Idiot Girls kick ass. Every single one. And don’t you forget it.
love, laurie n.
About the Author
Under the cover of night, Laurie Notaro ran away from her former home in Phoenix and is now holed up in Eugene, Oregon, a town so nice it took her a remarkable three whole months to build up enough anger to flip someone off in traffic. She loves ghost stories and seeing models cry, and is under the impression that she looks cute in hats (sadly, this is not true). Against all odds, this is her fourth book.
ALSO BY LAURIE NOTARO
The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club
Autobiography of a Fat Bride
I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies)
A Villard Books Trade Paperback Original
Copyright © 2005 by Laurie Notaro
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Villard Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
VILLARD and “V” CIRCLED Design are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Notaro, Laurie.
We thought you would be prettier: true tales of the dorkiest girl alive / Laurie Notaro.
p. cm.
1. Notaro, Laurie. 2. Humorists, American—20th century—Biography.3. Women—Humor. I. Title.
PS3614.O785Z478 2005
813′.6—dc22 2004061179
[B]
Villard Books website address: www.villard.com
eISBN: 978-1-58836-477-7
v3.0
We Thought You Would Be Prettier Page 21