One of my many mottoes is to enjoy life while we are young. When you grow older, no one remembers what you did anyway. As long as you are not hurting anyone intentionally, and you can live with what you do, then fuck ’em, fuck ’em all!
We finally left Grandma’s and made plans to meet up later. We were going to a corporate function, and out to a club. Sundays were the best night to party. Everybody who was somebody came out, so the three divas definitely had to be in the house. I had had a long weekend and needed to relax before we went out, so I went home to shower and rest for a few hours.
As I was getting out of the shower my phone rang.
“I need you to come over. I need you to come over now!”
Amber was trying to talk while she was crying, but I couldn’t understand all she was saying.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just come over now!” Amber said, and then the phone went dead.
I threw on some jeans and hopped in my car. I almost hit some idiot in a Toyota as I flew through the street. I tried over and over to call her from my cell.
“Damn, still no answer.”
I didn’t know what to think, feel, or whatever. All I knew was that my friend needed me.
“Toi! Call an ambulance, I think something’s really wrong with Amber. I can’t talk now, but get over to her house right now! I’m almost there.”
I came to a screeching halt in her driveway and ran to her house without cutting my car off.
“Amber!! Amber!!”
When I burst through Amber’s door, I couldn’t believe what I saw. She was lying helpless on the floor. Her face had been badly beaten and her eyes were swollen shut. The chair was broken in her room, and a handful of her hair had been pulled out and was lying next to her. She wasn’t moving. Was she alive?
THREE
When I was down, you were there for me,
Your love and friendship have been the key,
You held me together when I couldn’t take any more,
Now I understand . . .
what friends are for
I felt Amber’s pulse to see if she was alive. She was. As I looked at her bruised face and body, I felt her pain. I sat next to her, gently put her head in my lap, and softly spoke to her. Not knowing if she heard me, tears rolling down my face, I rubbed my fingers lightly through her hair trying to comfort her. I just wanted to let her know that she wasn’t alone.
Amber had always been there for me. Why?! Dammit, why was this happening?
She opened her eyes for a split second and tried to say something, but nothing came out. “I’m here, honey. I’m here, don’t worry; I’m gonna take care of you.”
She tried to smile to assure me that she was OK, but she was too weak to smile. I can’t explain the hatred that swelled in my heart at that moment. Anger took over every emotion I had. I knew Randy had done this, and I wanted him to pay. This was not the first time he had done this to her.
As I continued to look at Amber, I felt sorry for her and could feel her pain, but I became furious with her. Randy had hit her before and had given her a black eye. She allowed him to treat her this way. She shouldn’t have gotten involved with the no-good idiot anyway. Everyone has the right to decide what they want in life, regardless of who agrees or disagrees, but this was a bad decision.
Look at me, trying to be judgmental at a time like this. Right now all of that doesn’t matter, but making sure that Amber is going to be all right does. Truth be told, I was just getting a grip on my own personal life. But this, this would prove to be a wake-up call. A wake-up call for all of us.
And, although life consists of taking chances, sometimes we have to sit back and analyze the situation. Then, we can decide if the consequences are really worth our choices and/or sacrifices. In this case, Randy wasn’t bringing anything to the table but a bunch of bull. He was jealous, despite the fact that Amber wasn’t his woman. They were friends, or should I say screwin’ partners. He was screwin’ every trick in town, but still tried to regulate the cat.
Randy is one of those sorry, good-for-nothin’ niggas. He didn’t deserve my friend. I know his itty-bitty weiner can’t be worth a face of bumps and lumps.
Toi had already called the ambulance, but she arrived first. She walked in all hysterical, crying and screaming, so I had to calm her down. I told her that it wasn’t doing Amber any good to hear her upset. I asked her to call to see how far the ambulance was from the house.
I couldn’t move. I sat there frozen with my friend’s blood all over my pants and shirt. What was happening? Maybe this was all some dream. Maybe . . .
The paramedics finally arrived with their sirens blaring loudly.
“What happened here ma’am?”
“I don’t know!” I said.
“Is she conscious? Does she have any allergies?”
“We don’t know, just help her please!” Toi cried out with a face covered in tears.
They made sure Amber was stable before they moved her. After taking her pulse and hooking her up to the oxygen machine, they put her in the ambulance.
Watching her lying there was almost surreal. This wasn’t what we worked for. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
Eventually, during the ride to the emergency room, she opened her eyes, but didn’t move. I don’t know if she was motionless because of embarrassment, or if she just didn’t have the strength. I rode in the ambulance with her, while Toi waited for the police. I wanted her to know that we would be there for her.
At the hospital, the doctors assured me that Amber would be fine. I sat with her until she fell asleep, and then went back to her house to straighten up.
“What do you think happened Candice?” Toi asked.
“You know damn well what happened, it was that cocksucka Randy! This time he’s gone too far. Y’all my sisters and ain’t no half-ass nigga gonna hurt my family.”
With every piece of broken furniture I moved, I thought about how much I wanted Randy hurt. I wanted him to experience the pain that Amber was feeling. Have you ever hated someone so much that for a split second you would’ve killed them? Well, that’s how I was feeling about punk Randy. I knew exactly what I needed to do to set things straight.
The one thing I learned growing up was that you always needed some thugged-out friends. Regardless how high you climb that ladder of success, sooner or later, somebody’s gonna need a beat-down.
I called my friend Big Money. He knew something was wrong as soon as he heard my voice.
“What’s the problem Sweet Red?”
I told him that I was fine, but I needed to speak with him.
“Cool, anything for you.”
Red is what they called me back in my old neighborhood. Big Money was one of my childhood friends, turned hustler. He didn’t have a formal education; he dropped out of school in the ninth grade, but he was intelligent. He knew the street game and made plenty of money playing it. Money ran the streets, didn’t take no mess, and loved his Sweet Red. It was nothing sexual between us, but I gotta admit that I did screw him when we were teenagers. He is my nigga for life.
When we were growing up, I treated him with respect. You can say that he was a human version of that Biz Markie song, “The Vapors.” Everybody jocked him now. When I left the hood and went to college, we kept in touch and remained close. There isn’t anything that he won’t do for me nor me for him.
Toi and I met with Money ’bout three hours later, on the east side at a park in Pleasant City. I told him about what happened.
“Money, I want that nigga Randy broke down. I mean Ike Turner, Rodney King beaten down. Hurt him baby. Hurt that nigga like he hurt Amber.”
I knew if he couldn’t take care of it, he knew someone who could.
He asked in a very serious tone, “Red, do you want him dead?” At that moment, Toi looked scared. She looked as if she didn’t know how I was going to answer him. She had this expression on her face as though she was pleading with me to say no. Didn’
t she know that I didn’t want to live with a man’s blood on me for life?
“No, but I want that nigga to suffer. I want to watch that faggot get the shit beat out of him.”
Toi was surprised by my response, but relieved. From that point, it was on. I knew that once Money walked away, I couldn’t change my mind.
Life is like that. Sometimes the decision we make can affect a lifetime of events.
It’s funny. I didn’t have any second thoughts, at least not at that particular time. I told Toi that she could never mention this to Amber. I knew that Amber wouldn’t agree. Even though Randy beats her like a dog, she still loves him.
I can’t get wit’ that program. I ain’t Ja Rule, pain ain’t love in my house.
As we were pulling off, Money drove alongside our car and asked if we wanted to have a few drinks. We agreed and followed him to a hole in the wall off Tamarind Avenue.
After my third drink, I was horny. What I really needed was a good eatin’ out.
I leaned over to Toi. “Do you want to let Money eat our coochies?”
“Hell yeah,” Toi replied, “as bad as I need a good screw right now, I just might give him some of this cat. Is he packing?”
“You’ll be surprised,” I said.
“Hey Money, let’s go get a room and finish our drinks there. All this drama has worn me out.”
“Where you wanna go Sweet Red?”
“Let’s go to Trump Towers, next to the water on Flagler Avenue. I need somewhere I can order room service in the morning. I’m not trying to drive home tonight.”
We followed Money to the hotel. When we got to the room, I went straight to the shower. The hot water running over my body helped me to relax some. I stood under the water for almost fifteen minutes before I decided that I had had enough.
When I walked out of the bathroom I said, “Money give me yo T-shirt, I don’t want to put that dress back on.” I had left my bloody clothes at Amber’s house and put on one of her sundresses.
He took his shirt off and threw it to me.
His chest and stomach were defined to perfection. His chest was buffed with his perfectly protruded muscles, accented by beautiful small round nipples. His stomach was ridged with ripples and had a washboard firmness. I didn’t remember Money looking so good. He was always fine, but he had gotten better with time.
Toi looked at him with lust in her eyes. She walked toward him and started rubbing his chest with her hands. Then, she bent over and started licking and sucking his nipples using her tongue ring. As she did this, he began to rub his rod, and it began to stick out, showing off the length and thickness through his pants. It looked like a throbbing bull trying to break out of its pen.
Toi touched it with her hand and said, “Damn, I have to see what you have in those pants.” She began to pull his pants down, but he interrupted her and took off his pants and boxers.
Toi looked hungrily at his honey-colored eight-inch pole and started stroking it with her hand, then bent down and swallowed it. He sighed with excitement because I know he wasn’t expecting that and neither was I.
Watching them got me hot, so I bent my knees upward, while lying on my back. I opened my legs so that Money could see and started rubbing my clit with my finger. I slowly dipped my fingers in my hole, leaned forward, and stuck them in Money’s mouth.
“Taste me.”
He sucked my fingers like they were lollipops. I pulled him down and pushed his head toward my dampened cat.
“Give me what I want.” He pulled me to the end of the bed and started licking.
Toi lay down between his legs and kept sucking his glistening huge rod.
He opened my lips with his thumbs and started gently licking and teasing my clit. He flicked his tongue in and out of my hole as he continued to lick. Money had always sucked this cat good, but he had become a master.
Money maintained his usual vibratorlike pace until I came. DAMN!!! I came hard too. “Good gosh, I really needed that,” I thought.
After I came, I pulled Money up and whispered in his ear, “Go take care of my girl, you know she wants you.”
“Come here baby.”
He started eating her out. Then, she pulled him up and said, “I can’t wait. I want to feel it inside me.” He jumped up and rammed his big cock inside her. She screamed, “Harder, harder, give it to me. Faster! Faster! Give me all you got!” The more she talked, the faster and harder he gave it to her. She had a smile on her face that let me know that she was enjoying every stroke.
By this time, the room was perfumed with the smell of sex. The ceiling fan wafted the aroma of lavender and natural musk through the air like a scented candle. The sound of Money plunging in and out of her seemed to get louder and louder until . . .
Toi yelled, “I want it from the back!”
Without hesitation, he picked her up and roughly turned her over on her stomach and pulled her fast and hard toward him. He then demanded, “Get on your knees, so I can give it all to you.”
Okay, okay it started to seem a little too freaky for your girl, but they were having a good time.
Toi told me that a nut from the butt is more intense than a regular nut. I haven’t experienced any backdoor action, but I won’t say I never will.
For now though, my butt says exit only.
Their wild sexin’ went on for hours. I fell asleep with sex sounds ringing in my ear.
I awoke with Money kissing me on my forehead. He stood fully dressed.
“Red, I gotta go take care my business.” Then, he gave me a handful of hundred-dollar bills.
“Take care of the room and y’all room service. It’s more than you need. If you need me, hit me up.”
As he walked toward the door, he stopped and said, “Oh yeah, tell yo girl I said later, and the other thing will be taken care of.” He went out the door without turning again.
I looked over at Toi. She was knocked out and snoring. If that Mandingo had given me that big piece of meat all night, I would still be out too.
FOUR
STOP!
Don’t do it,
Let it go,
Remember . . .
you reap what you sow
The week following Amber’s incident flew by quickly. Amber came home three days after she was admitted into the hospital. Once she was released, I suggested that she stay with me at my house until her strength was back up. She hesitantly agreed because she knew she wasn’t ready to be alone.
Each time Toi and I tried to talk about what happened, Amber would say she didn’t want to talk yet. She even tried to defend Randy by saying that she said something to piss him off. Every time I tried to comment, she would say, “Not now Candice. Please, I just need time.” So me and Toi decided to wait until she was ready to tell us what happened. Eventually, she would come around. We never kept secrets from each other.
Over the years, we lied to our families, niggas, and anybody else, except each other. We were true sisters. The good, the bad, the ugly, we were still friends no matter what.
While Amber was at my house, we waited on her hand and foot. We cooked, massaged her, combed her hair, and called to check on her all day from work. Sometimes, I think that Amber was really enjoying the attention and the pampering a little too much. But she’s my girl.
Four days after Amber came home, Toi and I decided to take her to Grandma’s. We knew this would cheer her up, since Grandma’s was one of our favorite places to just be us.
I could tell you so many stories about the three of us and that place. If those walls just had ears and mouths. . .
When we walked into the restaurant, everyone came up to Amber and greeted her.
“How you doing sweetie,” said a gray-haired woman as she was walking out the door.
It’s funny how news travels. The entire city was talking about how Amber was beaten up. It went from a robbery to a rape to a jealous boyfriend that had done it. Everybody made up their own story, and added a little more to it. But
that’s how it is in the hood. Street news is better than the eleven-o’clock coverage by a big network. It’s 100 percent drama.
As soon as we sat down to order, my phone rang.
“Hello, this is Candice.”
“Sweet Red, meet at Club Safari on Tamarind Avenue, at the far end of the parking lot, where the projects are. According to my man, Randy went to the club earlier inquiring about running it. The owner told him to come back at 9:30 tonight. You know how packed Club Safari is for happy hour on Fridays. So, Randy has to park at the far end of the lot.
“My people have been following him and now seems like the best time. It’s 8:45, so we don’t have a lot of time.” In a low unsure voice, Money stated, “Red, this is what you wanted and now it’s about to go down. When you pull in the parking lot, park, and do not get out the car. Once we start, just flash your lights when you think he’s had enough.”
“Had enough? ” My stomach began to feel kinda queasy.
All of a sudden, my heart started beating fast. I tried to respond to what I had just been told, but I couldn’t speak. After Money had finished talking, I just hung up the phone and prepared myself to do as instructed.
I tried to keep a straight face as I looked at Toi.
“Toi, that appointment we were waiting on is ready. We have to go now.” I knew Toi was about to ask me what appointment, so I whispered Big Money in her ear before she could say anything.
“Right now? At this very minute? What are we going to do with Amber?” Toi asked in a shaky whisper.
“I hear y’all,” Amber said thinking everything was some kind of joke or something.
“Nuh uuh honey, wherever y’all heifers going, I am going too.”
I knew we didn’t have time to debate with Amber, so in a very serious voice I replied, “No, you can’t go, but it won’t take us long. We can take you back to my house, or you can wait here and let Ruth entertain you for a little while.”
Ruth is the waitress that has been working at Grandma’s ever since we were in high school. She went to school with me, but didn’t graduate. She looked at least ten years older than all of us. She has had a rough life.
Sins & Secrets Page 3