Sins & Secrets

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by Carolyn Chambers Sanders


  When she didn’t come back within five minutes, I knew something was wrong. We checked every single bathroom on that floor, but we did not find her. At that point, I knew she was gone.

  The last time I’d seen Toi was when I left her sitting in that chair. I didn’t have a chance to talk her into staying or let her know how much I needed her in my life. It just hurt so damn much not to have my girl with me.

  Six months after she left, I received a postcard from Toi. It had a Canadian postmark on it. A few months after that, I received another with a postmark from Paris. She never included a return address, and they had the same words, “Thinking about ya, love ya.” I’ve received postcards from California, Spain, Russia, Florida, and Georgia. I guess that’s her way of letting me know that she’s thinking about me. I know she still hasn’t dealt with her loss. If she had, she’d have come home by now. I ride by Johnny’s house sometimes, hoping to see her there, but I never do. The housekeeper is living there and caring for things while she’s away. When I stopped a few months back, to speak to the housekeeper, she said that she doesn’t see Toi much. However, she added that Toi does send her paychecks on time.

  I’ve really missed her these past two years. Why couldn’t she just let me help her get through this? I know she needs me, but she still won’t call. I know she still loves her girl, but I just wish she was here.

  She sent Mykyla a present after she was born. The card read, “To the most beautiful and precious baby in the world. I love u, your Aunt Toi.” Over the last year Mykyla has been periodically receiving presents in the mail from Toi. She has gotten everything from baby dolls to motorized cars.

  It’s funny, although I haven’t heard from her she’s still a part of our life. Toi’s whole ordeal shows that just when you start to think that life’s good, something unexpected happens to make you realize that life ain’t fair and it never will be. You just have to get used to the hurt, pain, and disappointment, then figure out a way to keep going in spite of it all.

  My business, Money Makers, is still growing and is very profitable. My marriage has opened a lot of doors for me. Michael is well-connected, not to mention that he’s one of the best in his profession. I moved my main office to Atlanta. Also ya girl has been very busy makin’ that money. Besides the branch in West Palm Beach, I opened up branches in Miami, Chicago, and New York. I’m working on opening up an office in Los Angeles. The only thing holding me back is that I can’t seem to come to terms with the girl that would be managing the West Coast. I’ve added a couple of sports agents to the staff, and the athletes have taken full advantage of them. I’m currently working on this big deal with one of Atlanta’s wealthiest men, Tony Machenski. He’s part owner of the professional hockey team and owns several malls throughout the state.

  Big Money still hasn’t found that perfect woman. He says he wants a women like me, but I always joke and I say, “there ain’t no more out there like me.” He is the big man in the small town where he lives. He’s started a nonprofit organization that helps underprivileged kids with homework and helps them prepare for college. The program makes sure that the school applications and financial grant applications are completed correctly. The foundation also gives scholarships to kids that qualify. They must have a certain GPA. Big Money definitely has it going on and he is definitely giving back to the community.

  His boy Black is still hanging in there with him. He’s the executive director of the organization, and I must admit, he’s done a damn good job.

  Unlike Money, Black has found him a woman. He’s not married yet, but he’s shackin’ with an older lady. From what I can see, he’s happy. Of course, he made it known to his woman that his job and Big Money come first. He tells her that if it wasn’t for Money he doesn’t know where he’d be. When they visited last month, she even told me that he said he’d die for him. Now that’s some deep stuff right there.

  It’s funny seeing both of them in suits when they come to Atlanta to visit me. At first, Michael was a little jealous of my relationship with Big Money, but he soon realized that Big Money was all the family I had before I met Toi, Amber, and him. He recognized how Big Money had been there for me when no one else was. He really tries to understand the bond that we have. This makes me relieved and happy because I don’t know what I’d have done if I had to choose.

  Between Big Money and Toi, I don’t have to buy much for the baby. They spoil her to the point where Michael and I have to really try to figure out what she doesn’t have so we can buy it.

  Amber’s still married to her man. I don’t know how happy they are because they keep drama going. They were the perfect couple in the beginning of their marriage. Once she got to know him she found out he was not loyal to the marriage. He is always screwing or involved with somebody’s wife at the health club. Let’s just say that he has earned the reputation of the club’s “Mandingo.” She got so tired of the drama that she was contemplating moving to Atlanta. She eventually decided against it. Her husband said that it was cool for her to move, but he’s staying in Florida. He said that they could see each other every other weekend and on holidays. Now, ain’t that a bitch?

  I’ll continue to enjoy my family and stay hopeful of Toi’s return. Life ain’t fair and it never will be, so just get used to it.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Carolyn Sanders is a registered stockbroker, financial planner, licensed real estate consultant, and insurance agent. She holds an MBA from Texas Southern University and her BS in psychology from Florida A&M University. She is single and resides in Dallas, Texas, with her two children. She is currently working on her second novel, The Games We Play, a sequel to Sins & Secrets.

 

 

 


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