“I don’t want you anymore.” I’m crying harder now. “You’re not...I don’t love you anymore.”
My words hit him so hard he stiffens for a moment, only for a heartbeat before continuing to break me while repeating the words. “It’s not over.” His face is hard with anger, the veins on his forehead bulging out of his skin. In my eyes, he resembles a stranger.
I spit into his face, still screaming for him to stop. It doesn’t surprise me when he slaps me yet again. I knew he would do it again.
So I stop fighting and wait for him to finish. Let him take what he wants, then he can piss off out of my apartment and life.
To my horror, the moment I quit fighting, his hands move to my neck and his fingers tighten around my throat. His eyes are closed now, but mine are bulging out of my head as he squeezes tight.
Panic grips me as I try to uncurl his fingers because it hurts so bad. He doesn’t let go, and I’m finding it hard to breathe now. The more I struggle, the tighter his grip gets.
He’s still thrusting and telling me it’s not over. He repeats the words like a mantra.
Alarm bells go off inside my head so loud I can no longer hear him speak the words.
“Let me go,” I say inside my head. The words are unable to make it through my throat.
As I become desperate for air, strength melts from my body. The only thing I can do now is tap his hands lightly.
His eyes are still closed so he cannot see the pain in my face. I wish he would look at me now, see what he’s doing. He doesn’t want to kill me. I don’t want to believe that. He will stop soon. I’ll breathe again.
His eyes stay shut. His hands continue to strangle me until my heart feels like it’s exploding beneath my chest, until my body starts to tremble.
“I love you, Jenna. I love you. It’s not over,” he continues to say.
It’s hard for me to hear now through the sound of blood rushing through my ears. My eyesight is becoming blurry. When the light in my eyes starts to dim, I close them before they close on their own. It’s over.
Chapter Nineteen
Winston
My eyes fly open. My blood is pumping hard through my veins, and I’m still repeating the words I wanted her to hear. Through my blurred vision her face is still beautiful, even though life is draining out of her body. I want to stop, but there’s something inside of me, something dark that refuses to let me.
As I tighten my grip, a delicious rush of adrenaline shoots through me. The idea that she died without loving anyone else but me gifts me a feeling of power I have never experienced before, not even inside the boardroom.
But the good feeling only lasts until I withdraw from her body and release her neck. Suddenly, the reality of what I have done crashes into me like a tidal wave. Sudden fear grips my insides as I watch her lying lifeless beneath me, like a rag doll. One minute, I could hear her voice and the next I have silenced it. I can’t feel a pulse.
Holy shit. I killed her. I’m a murderer.
My fists slam against both sides of my head, so hard it hurts. What have I done?
“I’m s-sorry.” My voice is choked with tears. “I’m so sorry.” I bring my face to hers, press my mouth against her pale lips, my tears mingling with the last tears she cried before she left the world.
I beg her to return to me so I can make it up to her, but it’s too late. I have killed the love of my life and there’s no going back.
The sound of the doorbell ringing from somewhere in the building brings me back to reality.
Tears still staining my cheeks, I jump into action and get dressed. I have to get out of here.
I cross the room, heading for the door, when I come to a stop and turn around to look back at what I’ve done. Where would I go? There’s so much evidence in this room to send me to prison for a long time, perhaps forever. I’m ruined.
I force myself to remain calm, to think straight. It’s hard to do that with fear on the brain. I’m terrified of the darkness within me. I’m a monster and I didn’t even know it. This whole time I thought my brother was the evil one.
What the fuck will I do now? Who do I turn to?
Her cell phone rings from the nightstand and blood drains from my face. I grab it quickly. If it keeps ringing, someone might hear. My hands tighten around the phone Jenna used to call me from.
Cold fingers of dread clutch my heart when her sister’s name flashes on the screen.
I take the ringing phone with me to the living room, where I drop into the couch, my head spinning. A disturbing thought makes me freeze. What if Jenna talked to her sister? What if Heather knows we broke up? If she hears her sister is dead, she might get suspicious.
I wait for the phone to stop ringing before I switch it off.
Still unsure what to do, I rise to my feet and stand in the middle of the room. I stare at my hands. How could they do it? How could they hurt her? I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t.
In the silence, I hear my brother’s voice. We are very much alike, you and I.
I want to banish the thought from my head, but what if Travis is the only one I can turn to right now? What if I have no choice but to invite him back into my life?
I don’t know if he’ll be able to or even want to help, but I need to talk to someone. People turn to family in times like these.
Travis picks up on the eighth ring. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I need you.” I swallow hard. “I need your help, Travis.”
There’s a short silence on the other end. “Since when do you need me? You always have everything figured out. You’re the perfect one, with the perfect life.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not perfect.” I hesitate for a long time, wondering whether this is a good idea. My mouth decides for my mind. “I did something terrible.”
“Something terrible?”
“That’s what I said, man. Yeah...I—”
“Well, that’s a first.” He chuckles. “You’re supposed to be the one who never steps out of line.”
“Look, Travis, sorry about everything that happened between us. I need your help right now. I don’t know who else to turn to.”
“So what did you do?” I hear him yawn.
I glance at the front door as if I’m waiting for it to be kicked in. “I can’t tell you over the phone.”
Travis groans. “Where are you?”
I give him the address of Jenna’s apartment and hang up. Twenty minutes later, he arrives. It’s the longest twenty minutes of my life. I was even tempted to run. But there’s no way I can do this alone and get away with murder.
The moment he enters, the open bottle of champagne on the coffee table catches his attention. He picks it up and drinks straight from the bottle. “So, why did you drag me all the way here?” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “What happened? You look like shit.”
I clench and unclench my fists, gazing at the door leading into the bedroom. “Something terrible happened. I did something...terrible.”
Travis leans back on the couch and crosses his arms, a smug look on his face. “I never thought I’d see the day. Tell me more. It must be something really bad for you to look like that.”
I don’t take Travis to the bedroom immediately because I need to prepare him for what he’s about to witness.
“I hit her. I slapped her.” I don’t even want to believe the words coming from my lips.
“Holy crap. You hit a woman?” He laughs out loud. “Looks like we are alike after all.”
“I’m nothing like—” I bite my tongue before I can say anything to turn him against me. I’m at his mercy right now.
“Did you feel the rush?” he asks. “The incredible feeling of being in total control?”
I ignore the question. “She wanted to leave me,” I say before I lose the courage. “I loved her. I didn’t want to lose her.”
“Did she leave you?” Travis sounds bored.
“No.” I cover my face with
my hands and groan. “I killed her.”
Travis shoots from the couch and rushes to me. He comes so close I smell the champagne on his breath. “Did you just say you killed her?”
“I didn’t...I didn’t plan it. It just happened.”
“Of course it just happened.” He massages his chin. “Where is her corpse?”
His words hit me like a bolt of lightning. Jenna is nothing but a corpse now.
Instead of telling him, I ask him to follow me into the bedroom. When he sees her, he rushes to the bed. He’s about to touch her, but he stops himself. When he turns to look at me, his eyes are wild, but at the same time, there’s a spark of excitement in them. “You strangled her.”
“I didn’t want to.” I bury my hands into my sweaty hair. “I loved her...too much.”
“She wanted to leave you, didn’t she?”
I nod and turn away so I don’t get to see Jenna’s body.
Travis nods and ushers me out of the bedroom and back into the living room. “You do need help.”
“Will you go to the cops? Will you rat on me?” At this point, I’m ready to accept whatever punishment comes my way, even if I’m scared shitless.
He sits me down on the couch and tells me not to touch anything. “We’re brothers. Of course I won’t turn you in.”
“Thanks.” My shoulders sink with relief. Never in a million years have I thought I would thank Travis for anything. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go to prison.”
“Hey, stop driving yourself mad.” He places a firm hand on my shoulder. “I can help you with this. I know exactly what to do.”
“You do?” I’m still afraid to trust him. One thing I know for sure is that whatever help he offers me will cost me a lot of money.
“There’s something you don’t know about me.” He pushes his hands into his pockets and goes to the window. “This is not my first rodeo, bro.” He turns around slowly. “I happen to have blood on my hands too, a lot of it.”
Coldness hits my core, and when he comes to sit next to me, I find myself moving away as if he’s the devil himself. “What...what do you mean?”
“Exactly what you think I mean.” He pauses. “I did it three times. Each time the feeling was more intense than the previous time.”
My mouth is dry, my hands bunched into fists. “How...”
“That’s not important right now. The most important thing is that I killed people and I’m still walking free. You can let me help you, or you can turn yourself in. Your choice.”
He’s right. Whatever questions I have for him have to wait, even though my head is reeling with shock after what he told me. I draw in a long breath. “How will you help me?”
“Me? No, man. This is bigger than me or you. We need external help.”
“No.” I shake my head, my mind spinning. “We can’t tell anyone. I cannot trust anyone.” An image of my face in the morning papers flashes across my mind. There are a lot of disadvantages to being well-known.
Travis walks back into the bedroom. I follow him on unsteady legs.
“I know people I can trust. They helped me before.” He approaches the bed again.
I hate that he’s seeing Jenna’s naked body, so I pick up the sheet and cover not only her body, but also her face.
“Who do you want to tell?”
“Some close brothers of mine.”
“Brothers?”
He sits down on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t even mind that Jenna is only a few inches away. “I guess it’s time for you to find out what my business is about.” He tips his head to the side. “It’s an exclusive club for men like us.” He pulls up the sleeve of his t-shirt. The word BAD is inked into the skin of his upper arm.
“What the fuck is that?” I shake my head. “And what do you mean by men like us?”
“We call ourselves Brothers After Dark…BAD in short. A group of good men who do bad things. Men driven by lust and hunger for blood.”
“That’s not me.” I swallow hard.
“You can deny it all you want, Winston, but deep down you and I both knew it was only a matter of time before you came to the dark side. We’re twins. There’s a strong bond between us. It only happens to be darkness.” He puffs out his cheeks, then releases the air. “You have a choice whether to allow me to ask my friends to help you or you go to prison. Some of the Brothers After Dark members are police chiefs, judges, lawyers, mayors, and other powerful men who can help cover your ass. Every one of them knows what it’s like to be in your position.”
“They are murderers?” I’m starting to regret asking Travis for help. “I don’t know, Travis. I don’t know whether I want—”
“Well”—he gets up from the bed—“then go ahead, drive to the nearest police station. Show them your bloody hands.”
“Fine.” I reach for his arm in desperation. “How do you plan on covering it up?”
“There are many options. We could pretend it’s a suicide. Maybe she was unable to handle the breakup.” He shrugs. “Or she could disappear into thin air.”
“It wasn’t me who broke up with her. She broke up with me.” I can still hear her words when she told me it’s over. It hurts all over again.
“But she’s dead. It would be your word against hers. Now, do you want me to help you or not? Or would you rather go to prison for murder?”
After a while, I nod, hoping I’m not getting myself into more shit.
Chapter Twenty
As soon as I decided to trust Travis, he made the call. Fifteen or twenty minutes later, they arrived in a black Mercedes with tinted glasses, which they parked a few blocks away from Jenna’s apartment building.
Getting into the backseat of the car is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life. Sitting here waiting for someone to say something makes me want to pass out.
There are only two suited man in the car. The one with a scar on the side of his face observes us from the passenger seat with an amused expression.
“I had no idea there were two of you.” His face twists into a grin that reveals unnaturally white teeth.
“Neither did I,” Travis says, “until three years ago. We—”
“Your story of brotherly love doesn’t interest me. We’ve got pressing business.” His brows hug in the middle. “You said he needs our help? You do know what that means?”
Travis shifts in his seat. “I do.”
I lean into Travis. “I don’t think I can do this. Maybe I should turn myself in.”
“We only help members,” the man in the driver’s seat murmurs. “He’s a stranger.”
“He won’t tell anyone about us,” Travis says quickly. “He’s interested in joining the club.” Travis glances out the window. “He killed someone tonight. And he’s prepared to pay us a lot of money in exchange for our protection.”
My stomach tenses when they argue back and forth. The two men are clearly pissed off at Travis.
Finally Scar Face holds up a hand. “Let’s give the stranger a chance to speak.” He narrows his eyes at me. “Is what he’s saying true?”
I nod. “I need your help. I won’t tell anyone about you.”
“No, you won’t.” Scar Face sniffs. “One word to anyone and you’re dead.”
I hesitate for a moment. “Yes.”
“If we agree to welcome you into the BAD Club. You will pay a monthly fee and in exchange the members will keep your dirty secrets hidden.” He cracks a knuckle. “But there are rules that must be followed.” He raises a finger. “Rule number one, each member is only allowed one murder a year. Rule number two, each murder should be reported because it reflects on all of us.”
Blood drains from my face as I look at Travis, who’s staring straight ahead. He failed to tell me that murders committed by his club members were not accidents. These people are career murderers, who enjoy the thrill of the kill.
“I don’t plan on killing anyone...else.” My hands curl into fists. What the fuc
k have I gotten myself into?
“Never say never,” Travis mumbles next to me.
I give him a frosty look. “What if I refuse to join the club?”
“You will die,” the driver says. “You’ll be a danger to us.”
Fucking hell. Yet another thing Travis failed to tell me. Watching him, my chest feels on the verge of exploding. “You’ll let them kill me?”
He turns to meet my eyes this time. “My loyalty lies with the Brothers. They are as much my brothers as you are.”
“You never told me I’ll have to join by force.”
“It’s not by force,” he says, glancing out the window. “You still have a choice, to become one of us or join your girl in the afterlife.”
“We don’t have time for this shit,” Scar Face barks. “We have a murder to cover up.” His eyes lock with mine. “Are you in or are you dead?”
I clench my fists, glance at Travis, then back at him. They say I have a choice, but I don’t and the fact is, I’m desperate. “I’m...I’m in.”
Fuck them. I’ll never be a part of their murder club. After they help me tonight, I will renegotiate. If I have to pay them lots of money to let me go, I will.
“Good.” Scar Face pushes his door open. “Let’s get to work.” Before he gets out he turns to the driver. “Stay here. You’re our shadow. Call the other members to arrange a video conference for tonight. All members—including the internationals—should be present.” He gets out of the car and slams the door shut. Travis and I join him outside.
No more words are exchanged on our way to Jenna’s apartment. The closer we get, the harder it becomes for me to breathe. When we get to the entrance, an image of her corpse forces its way into my mind and I stumble to the side of the road to retch.
“Shit,” Scar Face grumbles when I’m done and plants a hand between my shoulder blades to keep me moving. “Another mess for us to clean up.”
When we finally make it to Jenna’s door, my head is spinning and my eyes are filled with tears.
Before Dark: Brothers after Dark Book 1 Page 12