by Fields, MJ
Almost.
I couldn’t help myself. I laid her out on the stainless-steel island and made a meal out of her. Then...then she fed me chocolate covered bacon and sucked me off so good I saw stars. Then we fucked in her old man’s office.
Almost felt bad about that, too.
Almost.
He makes me leave at night. I sneak right back in when his pain meds kick in.
Disrespectful? Maybe. But, her and I, we need each other. She would be staying with me if he was walking; she told me so.
God, she’s fucking beautiful, inside and out.
“Thank you all for coming out tonight,” I say over the microphone, trying to focus on Mandee, because I hate this shit. “Tonight is our first fondle Friday.”
Mandee covers her mouth.
“Oh, my bad, I meant frontal Friday.”
She palms her face.
“Sorry, hot lips, I keep messing this up. Told you not to put me up here in front of everyone. We both know I’m better behind closed doors.”
Now she covers her face with both hands while everyone hoots and howls.
“In all seriousness, it’s Carlin’s first of many Fondue Fridays. It’s no secret to my family, close friends, and Mandee”—I wink—“that I love chocolate. In fact, I think the reason I fell in love with her is because she lost a bet and had to pay up in chocolate bacon.
“As you can see, we have desserts set up everywhere in the bar, and back in the dining room, we’re five minutes from dinner. All fondue, all night. And for the next two hours, you get me and my guitar, Glory.” I avoid looking at my brothers, knowing it probably stings that I held back that secret for so long, but they don’t seem to be as upset or affected as I imagined.
“Eat, drink, dance, and most importantly, enjoy.” I grab my guitar, set it on my lap, and start playing “Craving You,” by Thomas Rhett.
“Every time we have to say goodbye, I’m counting down until we say hello...”
Everyone here is having a good time, even Blue. When he walked in, I was singing, “Even If It Breaks Your Heart” by Eli Young Band. He had a girl with him. I watched Mandee, my Mandee, give him a thumbs-up. He looked down and gave her one back.
She smiles more now, with her head held high, no more hiding behind that beautiful hair. I hope to hell that’s something I helped her overcome, because she sure as fuck helped me overcome years of hurt and anger, just by being her and loving me.
My whole family is here, except Mom, who’s still in rehab, but closer every day to getting home. She was lucky, so are we. She has nothing wrong that some therapy and time won’t heal. Her left arm, hand, and hip are healing well. The swelling in the brain is going down.
William, he has Janice around when Mandee is here. He looks happy. Her being a retired nurse helps out a lot—sponge baths and shit. She even has his medication set for a week at a time. His healing is coming along well, too. Not just his legs, but his heart. Mandee smiles like a fool at him when she’s around, and he blushes. It’s hysterical, except when I laugh and get poison Dad darts shot at me. I do my best not to.
Gage is way more fucking relaxed than I expected in his situation. However, Phoenix looks exhausted and walks a little funny. And yes, I have told her that.
Brand, Garrett, and Juliana are a strong as fuck family. He reminds me of the brother I grew up with, the one I looked up to, until a sick bastard took away his belief in himself.
I set the guitar down after seven songs and lean into the mic. “Be back in fifteen.”
I walk over to where Mandee’s waiting for me. “Wanna eat?”
I can’t help smirking. “I’m always down for that.”
I hear a laugh and look over.
“Pearl, you know a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
She laughs. “Oh, I know that, doll face, but I also know what you were meaning.”
“Pearl,” Mandee scolds.
“Mandee, you and Phoenix walk around this place looking like you ain’t had sleep in days. And I’m not talking bags under your eyes. I’m talking about that glow. And the walk. Y’all are either riding horses or cowboys.” She winks.
“I’m a cowboy,” Brand says, climbing up on the stool next to me.
“By the looks of the men in these parts these days, I’m sure you’re gonna make lots of cowgirl’s smile.”
“Only one.” He holds up a finger then looks at me. “Uncle Gray, I wanna sing a song.”
“Yeah?” I ask. “All right.”
He looks back, and I see the Steel crew walking in.
“I wanna do it now,” he says, jumping down and heading toward my guitar.
“Hey, Brand, you need my help?” I ask.
He shakes his head and keeps on trucking. He pulls the stool closer to the mic, adjusts it, grabs the guitar, and sits down.
“Hi, I’m Brand Falcon. My uncle taught me some stuff, so I’m gonna play for you.” He points toward the Steels.
“Oh, dear God, what’s he gonna do?” Phoenix says on a laugh.
“No clue, but someone get their camera phone ready.” Gage laughs along with her.
I see Juliana start to walk toward him, but Garrett stops her.
“Garrett, this is not cool,” she says.
He chuckles. “Let the boy have fun.”
He starts playing the guitar, and I’m trying like hell to figure out what he’s playing. Then he starts singing.
“Well, I walk into a room, passing out hundred dollar bills, and it kills...”
“Oh, fuck,” Garrett says.
“I told you!” Juliana smacks his chest.
I can’t help laughing, and Mandee snorts from behind me.
I turn back and look at her.
“Go help him!”
“Help him?” I laugh.
“Go.” She pushes me.
“Yes, dear,” I say, making my way up to him.
He looks at me when I get to him.
“Let me play. You sing.”
He nods once and doesn’t miss a beat as he enters into the chorus.
“ ’Cause I saddle up my horse, and I ride into the city. I make a lot of noise ’cause that girl”—he points at the Steels again, and I have to bite back a laugh as I watch Jase’s face turn red—“she looks so pretty, riding up and down Broadway, on my old stud Leroy. And that girl says Save a horse, ride a cowboy.”
The crowd is loving this shit, and he can actually sing. The crowd dancing and singing the chorus with him, he’s having the time of his life.
“I’m a thoroughbred. That’s what she said, in the back of my truck bed...”
I look over at Garrett and Gage, who are both dying. I’m thankful Brand can’t see them. Kid has no clue what this song is about. He’s probably just happy as hell it says cowboy.
When he finishes, the crowd goes crazy for him.
He loves it. I’m glad he does. Every kid deserves to have a champion, and he has a town full.
When he looks back, he is holding himself, and I’m thinking, oh, shit.
“Gotta pee.”
Thank God, I think as I point toward the bathroom.
“Be right back.”
As he jumps off the small stage, I set the guitar down and walk over to my brothers, seeing Jase and Xavier are now standing with them.
“Did you set him up for that?” Jase points at me.
“Nope.” I laugh. “That was all Brand.”
“Where the hell did he learn that song?” Jase asks. “Fucking filthy!”
Garrett laughs out loud. “His mom loves that song.”
“I do not!” Juliana yells at him.
He busts up laughing. “My bad. You like the actual act of riding the cowboy, not the song.”
“Seriously need to put his ass in check, man.” Jase shakes his head.
When we hear the microphone squeak, I’m sure it’s him coming back for more, until I hear a little girl’s voice.
“Get a load of me, get a load of yo
u, walking down the street, and I hardly know you. It’s just like we were meant to be...” she sings, missing every R.
Right now, I’m thinking I want a little girl.
“Carly!” Jase yells, looking around for his wife.
“Seriously, man, you need to put her ass in check.” Garrett says on a laugh.
“If this is just the beginning, we’re already wet, and we’re gonna go swimming...” Kiki Steel sings.
I see Carly laughing, a baby in one arm, as she hurry’s up to where Kiki is still singing.
“Good, she’ll stop her.” Jase grumbles. “I need a fucking drink.” He tosses one back.
“Momma, sing with me,” comes across the speakers.
“No, Carly, don’t,” Jase says, nearly choking.
“Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you?” Carly and Kiki sing together, and Jase throws the rest of the drink down.
“Fuck it,” he snarls as he walks over to them.
“It’s an itch we know we are gonna scratch. Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch.” Carly uses little Max’s hand to wave to Jase, who is now standing in front of them, shaking his head and trying to hold back a smirk. “But wouldn’t it be beautiful?” She beams, and he nods.
“Here we are. We’re at the beginning. We haven’t bleeped yet,” Kiki sings, and Jase looks up, shaking his head.
I take Mandee’s hand and lead her out to dance with me.
“I want babies,” I tell her. “A little girl and a little boy. Just two. I never wanted any. Now...Fuck, Mandee, now I want two.”
She nods and smiles. “Then we’ll have two.”
Epilogue
(One Month Later)
Mandee
Dad’s healing well, and him and Janice are happy together. He seems to be getting more and more comfortable with her and me in the same room, which is good since she is always there.
The changes at the bar are becoming easier for him to swallow, as well. Fondue Fridays are a packed house every week. We make more money that night than we do the entire week.
Gray sings every week, and watching him, listening to him, I know why Xavier Steel won’t let up. He has so much talent. I heard him tell Xavier that he was happier now than he has been in his entire life. He didn’t plan on going anywhere but home.
Home is changing.
We are moving into Phoenix’s old cabin, right next to Mags’, and Gail will be on the other side of us. Right now, she’s at Gage’s place. It’s tense, but they are working together to try to save Falcon Construction.
When we are there, Grayson watches them with a smile. Their mother made mistakes in the name of love, but there is no doubt she loves her boys. None. And she was smart enough to have Mags in their lives while she was doing what she felt she needed to for them.
When she met their father, she was being evicted and skipping meals because, when she had the choice to feed her or Gage, she always chose him. She is a beautiful woman, and when a man with charm and money made promises, she believed him.
She told Gage she would never regret the decision, because she wouldn’t have had her other boys. She said she wished she’d had more, because as many mistakes as she has made, as many choices she had been forced into, nothing was more wonderful than seeing the men they had become.
Phoenix isn’t exhausted because she’s riding cowboys. She’s pregnant. I think I’m happier than she is, but I’m not the one throwing up. She’s going to be great mother.
Not that we don’t spend every minute together, but Gray and I have a night a week where we dress up and go out dancing. And he gives me red Gerber daisies.
The book of my mother’s words and advice on love, he’s read it, several times in fact.
“It’s so easy,” he said once in utter confusion.
“What is?” I asked.
“Love. Love is so damn easy.”
“Not for all people,” I tell him.
“Then they need to find their Mandee,” he says as serious as a heart attack.
I am so happy. So, so, so, so happy that Mom sent me to find my angel who happened to be a Falcon. And he was here the whole time.
One Month and Two Weeks Later...
Grayson
Love...love is something I never felt I could afford. Now I know it is all I need.
I sleep every night, no need to wander. I wake up to bacon, blowjobs, a smile, a kiss, and knowing that, no matter what has happened in my past, my future is going to be full of moments like these.
Her dad and I have talked a lot. I read the book. Hell, I still look through it. And he’s given me his blessing, with no threat of bodily harm like I’m going to fuck this up. I won’t.
I’m investing my money, living off the interest, and writing songs. None are finished because, as soon as I start one, she does something else to inspire another.
I finally got Xavier Steel to back off, but also asked that, when I have some of my music finished, to take a look at it. Now he’s a pain in the ass about that. I don’t give a shit.
My father, is a protected piece of shit right now. He’s across the ocean causing chaos and there isn’t shit we can do, but figure it out. Mom, Detective DeAngelo, and Gage are handling most of it. I like him, told Mom I thought he was kind of sweet on her. She told me she didn’t have time or desires for that sort of nonsense. I call bullshit, but right now her focus is with the business, and she and Gage are working things out, that way anyway. I see respect building, even see Gage look at her like he hurts for her. I knew he does, but he needs to bury some baggage and she needs to keep showing him she’s sorry.
Right now, nothing can bring me down. If there’s a fight to face, I know it’s going to end with her smiling up at me.
Tonight is Fondue Friday and, as we clean up, I ask Gage to get Phoenix out of here. I have plans. He immediately asks if I’m going to ask her to be mine. I tell him she already is, just going to give her a ring and hope to set a date. He gets Phoenix out of there in a hurry. She doesn’t fight too much. She’s tired...and knocked up.
Mandee is in the office, getting the deposit she forgot. She doesn’t leave it overnight anymore. Her and I drop it off together.
I grab Glory and begin playing “You Won’t Ever Be Lonely” by Andy Griggs
As I sing, she walks out, her hand going to her chest as she stands in front of me and sways to the music.
I try my damnedest to finish, push through the want to just ask her already.
But I don’t.
I set Glory down and pull the box out of my pocket, get down on one knee, and open my mouth to ask. Before a word comes out, though, she smiles, big and bright and beautiful, causing me to stall for a moment, caught up in her.
“Yes.” She nods.
“Gotta ask you—”
“Yes.” She smiles bigger, stars and clouds.
“Will you—”
“Uh-huh.” She nods furiously.
“Will you marry me?” I all but yell, and then laugh.
“Yes, yes, yes!” She says.
“Gimme that hand.”
She does, and I slide the ring on it.
She looks down, and her stars and clouds are joined by rain, but I know they’re happy tears.
“Mom’s?” she sobs out. “And you added...”
“We got love like that.” I stand up, holding her other hand. “The forever kind.”
“We sure do.”
To those who have been afraid to fight for love,
Don’t fight the fall. Embrace it.
To The Reader
I am madly in love with all three of the Falcon brothers. Like the Steel boys, each one for a different reason. I’m not ready to let them go, but I know it’s time.
I also know this is Steel, and Steel is forever. There will be more.
Forever Steel
XOXOXO
MJ
Chapter One
Phoenix
Sitting on the floor in the middle of my chil
dhood bedroom, all things wedding surrounds me. At my parent’s insistence, I was to come home, three days before my wedding. It’s only been one day and I am ready to pull out all my hair.
I look at the ivory wedding dress, the customary red reception dress, the candles, the stilettos, the tiara, the guestbook, the damn ring bearer pillow, and my gift to Gage. Then I close my eyes and lean back against my bed, uncovering my ears, hoping and praying she—my mother—has stopped screaming at my father.
She has, but now she’s wailing.
“Shut. Up,” I whisper, when I really want to scream and cover my ears again.
Two hours. It has been two hours since she started doing this.
I remove one hand off my ear and cover my belly that is carrying Gage’s promise.
Yep, two weeks after he told me he was going to get me knocked up, he did. I try not to act like I’m not truly ecstatic that my man tree had an insane need to breed, but I am. Those who know, and my parents, are not any of … those who have seen me throw up, look like hell, and cringe at the sight of chicken or pork. Bacon will probably never be put in front of me again.
Two Weeks Ago…
It was a nice gesture, Mags and Gage making me breakfast, and Gage serving it to me in bed, but when I threw up on that beautiful bed, I knew I could count on the fact he wouldn’t do that again. What I didn’t count on was that he would got rid of all the bacon in the house, and a stuffed pig, because he didn’t want me to feel like shit.
I run into the bathroom, mortified, and continue getting sick, not even realizing he isn’t in the room, until he is.
“Get out. I’m gross,” I say, wiping my mouth as his knees become visible on both sides of me.
He squats down, rubbing my back, as I throw up repeatedly. He doesn’t leave me alone.
When I look back at him, his little smirk would have annoyed the hell out of me if I didn’t look up into his eyes.