Pip shrugged her shoulders. “It’s okay. I mean, yes, it’s nice to help people, but most of them have a hard time believing me when I share a message with them. And of course the communications often need to be delivered at inconvenient times.” She added, “Like when I’m on a first date.”
The old lady turned to Bertram and admonished, “Young man, why would you ever interrupt this young lady’s dates? That’s rather rude, don’t you think?”
“Not particularly, ma’am. Philippa’s last date was with a homosexual man who had a message from his dead lover. Not only did I save Pip from falling for someone entirely inappropriate, but I helped the man find love again.”
Honey laughed out loud, “How delightful! You’re a real hero, aren’t you?” Then to Pip, she added, “I’m a Libra, you know, so I can see both sides of this. Clearly, it sounds like there can be some awkward moments, but it doesn’t sound like this chap had what you needed, if you know what I mean.” Then she winked and nudged Pip with her elbow for emphasis.
“Um, yes, rather . . . ,” Pip replied. “He certainly wasn’t the right man for me, but still and all the same, it would be nice to be granted a little personal time once in a while.”
Cressida, who was feeling decidedly left out, asked, “Does anyone want to introduce me?”
Bertram walked over and stood right in front of her, and then he took her hands and blew in her face. Cressida’s hair actually fluttered and she giggled. “He’s right here, isn’t he? I swear I can feel him.”
Pip replied, “He just blew air in your face.” She turned to Bertram and asked, “Why did you do that?”
Her contact replied, “I didn’t want her to feel left out and creating wind is one of the few things I can still do in the physical world.”
“What else can you do?” Pip asked.
Bertram replied, “I can put a song into her head.” He looked at Cressida and said to Pip, “I’m making her think of ‘Penny Lane’ by the Beatles. Go ahead, ask her what song she’s thinking of.”
Pip was intrigued. “Cress,” she asked, “what song are you thinking of?”
“What makes you think I’m thinking of a song?”
The duchess answered, “Bertram just put one into your head, dear. Which one is it?”
Not knowing why she was thinking it, Cressida answered, “Penny Lane.”
The duchess squealed in delight. “How positively wonderful!” Then she looked at Bertram and demanded, “Do me!”
Bertram laughed at the old woman’s apparent joy and gave her the song, “I’m in the Mood for Love.” She started to hum along to it immediately.
Pip finally asked, “Bertram, this is all very good, but what are you doing here?”
He answered, “I had another message for you to deliver, but it seems the recipient can hear me, so I’ll just give it to her myself.” He held his ghostly hand out to the duchess and walked away with her, so he could share a communication from beyond the grave.
Cressida commented, “I wonder if I’m ever going to get a message.”
Pip replied, “I wonder the same thing all the time. I mean, with as much talking to the dead that I do, you’d think someone would have something to say to me.”
New York
Chapter 18
Richard sat by himself by the boating pond on Fifth Avenue and watched as grown men played with their toy yachts. It got him to thinking that everyone needed to play, no matter how old they were; it was especially so in a city like New York where it was go, go, go, all the time. He, himself, enjoyed taking his boat out and cruising around the city. He’d recently done that with Mimi and had had a wonderful time.
Mimi Finnegan was on his mind a lot lately. He’d had dinner with her a couple nights earlier when she announced that she and Elliot were back together. He wasn’t particularly surprised, as the two of them seemed destined to be, but he was still a little depressed by the whole thing.
When he showed up to take her out, she’d looked like a hundred miles of bad road, all red and blotchy. One thing he knew about his friend was that she was not a delicate crier. Richard handed her the bouquet of pink tulips he’d bought from a street vendor and said, “I would tell you that you look gorgeous, but the truth is you look strung out. What’s up?”
She laughed in spite of herself, and replied, “I was going to wait and tell you after dinner.”
“Oh no,” he responded, “I’m a firm believer bad news should be shared in private.” Then he walked across the room, sat down on her couch, and instructed, “Spill it.”
So she did. She told him all about how Elliot had come to town and whisked her off her feet and vowed to cut things off with Beatrice so they could be together. She told Richard how she and Elliot were engaged to be married, and then she cried even harder.
“Mimi,” he said, “it all seems to be working out. Why are you crying?”
“Because, Richard, part of me thought that Elliot would never leave Beatrice and I would get over it one day and then I’d fall in love with you. I don’t want to lose having you in my life!”
Overcome by Mimi’s fantasy that they might have one day been together, he scooted closer to her and asked, “Do you mind if I try something?”
With tears in her eyes, she shook her head. Richard took that to mean she didn’t disapprove, so he leaned in and kissed her for all he was worth. When it was over, he asked, “Did that change your mind?”
Mimi shook her head again and announced, “You’re the perfect man, Richard Bingham, and so help me if I had any control over my emotions, I would have chosen you. But I’m good and truly in love with Elliot.”
“Lucky bastard,” Richard replied.
Miserably, Mimi said, “I’m sure you don’t even want to be my friend anymore.”
Richard looked up with shock in his eyes, “Mimi, if we were meant to be, your life would have been a bed of roses, no worries, no problems, no heartache.” He shook his head, “But you’ve picked Elliot and Lord knows you need me now more than ever. I just don’t see you getting through this without me.” Then he squeezed her hand, and declared, “There’s no chance I’m going to abandon you. You’re stuck with me.”
Mimi burst into tears of gratitude. Then Richard added an addendum, “BUT . . . you have to do something for me in return.”
“Anything!” Mimi vowed. “I’ll do anything, just name it.”
“You have to find your replacement for me.”
“What?” she gasped. “What do you mean find my replacement?”
“You heard me. You have to scour the ends of the earth and the find the perfect woman to take your place. If I can’t have you, I want someone as close to you as possible. Deal?”
“Richard,” she said, “you deserve someone a lot better than me. You deserve someone who isn’t neurotic, emotional, and full of flaws. I’m going to find you someone as far away from me as possible, someone worthy of your love.”
“That’s not what I want,” he said. “I want someone imperfect, gorgeous, quirky, and emotional. You have to find what my heart desires. If you don’t agree then the deal is off and I’m going back to putting the moves on you.”
She put her head on his shoulder and sighed, “Okay, you’re on. But don’t come running to me when you realize how full your hands are.”
He raised his eyebrow and teased, “I’m looking forward to those full hands.” Then he asked, “Now what are we going to do for dinner?”
Over takeout and a movie, Mimi asked Richard if he would stand up for her in her wedding. He gladly agreed, and joked, “Always a bridesmaid, never a groom.” Then he thought to add, “I’m not sure Elliot’s going to want me in your wedding, though.”
“Tough,” she replied. “I want you there and my mind’s made up. You know,” she said, “I think I know some gals that would be perfect for you. I’ll make sure to seat you at the same table and the reception.”
“Are any of them from New York?” Richard asked.
&n
bsp; “No, why?”
He replied, “Just wondering. I think I’ve dated every available woman in this city and I’m pretty sure it’s time I broaden my horizons.”
Mimi started to get excited at the prospect of setting up her friend, “Off the top of my head I have two great candidates, but I’m sure I’ll think of more.”
Richard watched as one boat captain yelled at another, like two little boys on a playground. He would definitely stand up with Mimi at her marriage to Elliot, and he knew he’d be asked to stand up with Spencer and Eliza, once they tied the knot. He only hoped he’d be standing up at his own wedding before too many more of his friends got married. Weddings had started to become depressing affairs and he wasn’t sure he could handle many more without one of his own, first.
London
Chapter 19
“Say it again,” Pip instructed.
Elliot laughed, “Beatrice and I aren’t engaged any longer and I’m now going to marry the most beautiful, funny, and delightful American named Mimi.”
“Just like that?” Pip asked. She was beyond thrilled for her brother, while still being thoroughly irritated that he’d been engaged twice in as many weeks. How did things like that just happen for him?
Elliot said, “Mother is liable to have a complete cow when I tell her.”
“Because you’re marrying an American?” she asked. It was well known to anyone who’d ever met Victoria that she didn’t care for Americans. They were too brash, too opinionated, and their teeth were too white for her taste.
“That, and because Mimi is expecting our child, I don’t think she’ll approve of the order.”
“I’m going to be an aunt?” Pip nearly squealed in excitement. “Oh Elliot, I can’t wait to meet her! I’m so happy for you both!” Then she asked, “How’s Beatrice taking it?”
He replied, “Beatrice is fine. She’s the one who broke things off with me. In fact, she knew Mimi and I had feelings for one another and she gave us her blessing. She’ll be at the wedding.”
Philippa really was ecstatic for her brother. It was working out just like Bertram said it would. Now she supposed Beatrice would find her true love, as well. While everyone else’s soulmates seemed to be falling out of the clouds right into their laps, she was busy working on a charity event where she was planning on buying a date. It was a thoroughly humiliating thought.
Elliot asked Pip not to tell their parents about the baby. He and Mimi wanted to do that in person. Then he asked his little sister if she would stand up for them at their wedding.
Pip replied, “Elliot, I love you, I really do, and I’m very happy for you. But the thought of walking down an aisle with hundreds of strangers staring at me just isn’t my thing. I hope you understand.”
Elliot knew his sister didn’t like a lot of attention focused on her and had assumed she’d say no, but he’d wanted to ask nonetheless. He told Pip all about Mimi and her three sisters. He shared which of his friends he was going to have as his groomsmen, and the siblings enjoyed a nice familial chat.
When they hung up, Pip yelled out, “Bertram, front and center, if you please!”
True to form, Bertram materialized immediately. “What can I do for you, love?”
“I want to know when I’m going to find a man. I know that isn’t the nature of our relationship. I know you’re not a matchmaker or anything, but please, can’t you just tell me that I won’t be alone forever? Please,” she begged, “I’m starting to feel like the world is passing me by. I’m lonely. I want more than I have. I want partnership and companionship. Bertram,” she emphasized, “I’d like to have sex again before I drop dead of old age. What are the chances of that?”
He laughed at her theatrics and teased, “I already told you you’ll find your true love before you’re forty. What more do you want from me?”
She replied, “I want to find him now, Bertram. I don’t want to wait any longer.” Then she thought to add, “And God knows I don’t want to have to buy him. Please,” she begged, “help me out.”
He smiled, “Let me talk to Corrine and see what she says. Then he blew in her face, placed the song ‘Love’ by Nat King Cole into her head, and disappeared into thin air.
The countess was fit to be tied. “I simply cannot believe this! One moment he’s engaged to dear Beatrice, and the next to some American we’ve never even heard about. What kind of name is Mimi, anyway?”
Pip answered, “Mother, according to Bertram, Mimi is Elliot’s soulmate. They’re meant to be.”
Even the mention of his daughter’s dead contact wasn’t enough to scare Archibald from the room this time. He soothed, “Victoria, darling, let’s focus on how wonderful it is that Elliot’s in love. This is a time to celebrate.”
His wife snapped, “What would you like to celebrate first, Archibald? The fact that our son may never come home from that god-awful wasteland, or the fact that we have to go there to watch him marry someone we’ve never even met?”
The earl replied, “Let’s celebrate that he’s found his mate and mother to our future grandchildren.”
Victoria huffed, “I cannot consider our future grandchildren at a time like this!” Then as the thought took hold, she added, “Oh, my Lord, they’re probably going to have children!”
Pip stifled laughter at her mother’s outburst and replied, “That’s usually how these things go, Mum.”
Victoria fell into a chair and gasped, “Oh my God, my grandchildren will be half-American! They’ll grow up eating nasty things like hotdogs and they’ll probably be rude.” Clutching a hand across her heart, she managed, “And they’ll speak with those horrible accents!”
Pip couldn’t contain herself any longer and burst into full-blown gales of laughter. “Mum, you don’t have to go any farther than the East End to hear a horrible accent. The way you’re carrying on, you’d think your poor virgin ears had never heard cockney.”
Bertram chose that moment to materialize behind her mother. He instructed, “Ask her about Jeffrey.”
Pip lifted an eyebrow in question, as she’d never heard her mother mention the name before. But she went ahead and asked, “Mum, who’s Jeffrey?”
Victoria tuned bright pink and looked like she was about to suffer an apoplexy. “Who told you about Jeffrey?” she demanded. “Bertram, is that you? Are you interfering in family affairs?”
Bertram smiled, “Tell your mother to settle down. Tell her Jeffrey married a perfectly horrible woman who’s spent the last forty-three years making his life miserable.”
Pip relayed the message verbatim and Victoria ever-so-slightly calmed down. “Good,” she spat, “he deserves it!”
The earl appeared to be hard-pressed not to smile at his wife’s discomfort. She was so self-righteous in her anger on her sister’s behalf, and she didn’t appear to be answering their daughter’s question. So he did. “Philippa, your aunt Margaret was engaged to an American named Jeffrey. He broke her heart by leaving her the day before the nuptials and your mother has never gotten over it.”
Pip exclaimed, “You’re kidding? But clearly Aunt Margaret has gotten over it. I mean, she’s been married to Uncle Wills forever and they love each other madly!” She looked at her mum and asked, “Why in the world do you still care if your sister doesn’t?”
Victoria took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Mum,” Philippa replied, “you have no choice. I’m going to badger you to the ends of the earth about this, so you’d better just tell me.”
“It’ll sound petty.” Her mother sniffed.
“I hate to tell you, but it already does. Maybe it would sound less so if you explained yourself.”
“Fine,” the countess hissed. “I was sixteen when Margaret’s engagement ended. It was the month before my coming out and when Jeffrey left, my family went into a horrible period of embarrassment. I mean the church, the flowers, the reception, everything was ready to go. All the out of town people had come in. Then poof,
he leaves, and we’re left to pick up the pieces!”
“What about your coming out, Mum?”
“It was postponed for a year. All those lovely clothes we’d bought. All the plans my girlfriends and I had, all up in smoke because of that dratted American!”
Pip smiled fondly, “Mum, I don’t think you sound petty at all. I think your anger toward Jeffrey is perfectly acceptable. But maybe let’s try to remember that Elliot’s fiancée had nothing to with it, nor did the rest of America for that matter.”
Victoria sighed, “I suppose you’re right. But just so you know, I’ve been mad for so long, it’s going to take me a bit of time to fully release my resentment.”
Pip replied, “You have a fortnight. You’d better get started.”
New York
Chapter 20
Richard lay in bed and stared out the window overlooking the treetops of Central Park. They were just starting to change color to the more vibrant hues of autumn: deep reds, bright oranges, and sunshiny yellow. For the next month, the foliage would reflect the end of another season which would too quickly bring the end of another year.
Richard loved the fall, even though it made him melancholy and pensive, and made him miss a life he didn’t have. The air smelled cleaner and people seemed less harried. He’d make several trips to see his mother, and together they’d go to all the farms in the area where they’d attempt to eat their weight in cider donuts and buy enough apple, pumpkin, and Finger Lake grape pies to fill the freezer for a year.
Richard had many fond memories from his childhood and farm trips were some of the sweetest. Unfortunately, these reveries did not include his father. His father had always been too busy working or traveling to spend much time with his family. He was too busy chasing after some invisible prize that he never seemed to find.
Richard realized his relationship with his father was one of the reasons he yearned for a family of his own. He wanted to rewrite history by being a better dad than his could have ever dreamed of.
Kindred Spirits: A Romantic Comedy About Love, Life, and the Afterlife . . . Page 9