‘Aye, I’ll have to come over to see her. I suppose you’ll be taking her to the races next year. But come in, lad. Ye’ll be staying for tea, won’t ye? The lasses have cooked plenty.’
‘Thank you, but not tonight. I’ve got some news for you, Jock and you probably won’t think much of it.’
Jock frowned. ‘What might that be?’
Lloyd took a deep breath and plunged head-first. ‘I know this is a bit sudden, but I wanted to tell you that I’m getting married. D’you remember Louise Ashford? Forrest, as we knew her?’
‘Aye.’ Jock’s face was suddenly guarded behind the heavy beard. ‘My memory’s not that short.’
‘I ran into her the other day, at the Barclays. She’s a cousin of theirs, you know.’
‘She told us she’d been governessing for them before she came here.’
‘Yeah, that’s right. She was staying with ‘em when her family went to England. Anyway, I’ve got a letter here for you which should tell you everything.’
Jock took it and eyed it dubiously. ‘This is a wee bit late, ain’t it?’
Lloyd flushed, whether for himself or Louise he didn’t know. ‘She wrote letters to us when her brother took her away, but he must have got hold of ‘em. She didn’t know we’d never got ‘em.’
‘Aye, but I’d be inclined to take most things she told me with a grain of salt. ‘Lucy Forrest’, indeed!’
‘She was trying to hide from her brother. If I’d known then what I know now I’d never have let him take her.’
Jock’s eyes narrowed and he stared at Lloyd thoughtfully, sizing him up as if he were a beast for sale. ‘So she’s got her clutches into ye again,’ he said at last. ‘And what of our poor wee Mercy? She’s been to thinking ye was going to wed her at last. Are ye going to be bringing this other lass to this fine new house of yours instead? Just what is this hold this Lucy has over ye?’
Lloyd’s face heated. ‘Louise,’ he corrected automatically.
‘Louise, then. We used to think it had all blown over between ye and then she ups and leaves with that brother of hers. The next thing we know ye were in a worse state than we’d ever seen ye, spending your time between the bar of the Banana and a back bedroom. And it seems only our Mercy knew all the time just how things were between ye and that governess.’
Lloyd started. So Mercy had told her parents what she knew about his relationship with Louise. Jock hadn’t said anything before this. This made things more difficult, for Jock was less likely to accept and respect Louise as his wife now. He might excuse Lloyd’s own part in it, but Louise was supposed to have been responsible for his children.
‘Jock, you don’t have to approve of everything we did, but I’ll thank you to remember what a tower of strength Louise was to your family during all your troubles. Hell, if it hadn’t been for her wanting to stay here while you needed her, we’d have been married before her brother found her. Perhaps it seems like we were sneaking around behind your back, but we couldn’t be together any other way.’
‘That doesn’t excuse it. But I suppose she had her good points. She worked hard and probably did things she’d never had to do before. It was a tough time on all of us and it only got tougher.’ Jock’s voice broke, but then he collected himself and forced a brighter note. ‘So what’s she doing back here? Was it pure chance ye met up the other day?’
Lloyd nodded, relieved the awkward moment had passed. ‘She’s only been back here a couple of months.’
‘Well, it’s your bed and ye are the one that’s got to lie on it. I hope ye’ll be happy. I’m disappointed in ye, but it’s our Mercy I’m most worried about.’
‘I’m worried about her too, Jock,’ he rejoined harshly. ‘Jesus, don’t think I like it. I wish she didn’t care for me, but I can’t change that.’
‘For a newly engaged man ye don’t sound too excited about it all.’
‘Oh, Christ, I’ve never stopped wanting Louise, never been able to forget her. She’s the only woman for me, Jock. I just hate hurting Mercy. She’s been through enough, poor kid.’
‘It’s a wee too late for that, lad. It was a bad day for our Mercy when she took crazy over ye.’
Lloyd stirred restlessly, kicking the dirt with the toe of his boot. ‘Yeah, well...it’s getting late. Now you know why I didn’t want to stay for tea. I’d better get home and cook myself something.’
He mounted up and rode away, loneliness and uncertainty eating away at his resolve. It would never be quite the same with the Jamiesons again. The relaxed, happy meals he’d shared with them were already a thing of the past. Jock might outwardly forgive him for his cavalier treatment of his daughter, but Lloyd would always be conscious within himself that he’d hurt her. And Louise...how could he flaunt her in Mercy’s face? How would the rest of the family react to her?
He wondered if he was really being a fool, as Jock obviously thought. Louise had certainly lied to him and nothing would alter the fact that she was an Ashford, the daughter and sister of two men he had reason to hate. He’d once thought the person he’d known as Louise, the girl he’d loved, had been nothing but an empty shell. But their one meeting had brought back the reality of her, the knowledge that he really hadn’t been deceived. Oh, perhaps as to her identity, but not as to her character, her true self. Besides, as the mother of his son, his debt to her was greater than his debt to Mercy.
~*~
The mailman brought Lloyd’s promised letter to Sherborne a little over two weeks later. It was the first real letter Louise had ever received from him and she opened it uncertainly, remembering the note he’d written to her once arranging an illicit meeting at the boundary gate. She still kept that note, folded up amongst her underclothes–the only memento of him she’d possessed.
His handwriting was as she remembered, neat but unformed, the sentence structure unpolished.
Dear Louise,
I trust you are well as this leaves me. I have almost finished bilding the house and will leave here on Monday, taking the coach to Westwood and arriving at Bulbra on the train on Wensday morning. Dont worry about getting someone to meet me. I will borrow a horse in town.
We will have to look at furnature in Rockhampton as I have not got much as you know, apart from the bed and the table and I hope to make a few more chairs. We can get it sent out by train to Westwood and by wagon from there. We will have to make do until it arrives.
If we fix it with the preest when we get to Rockhampton we should be able to get him to marry us in the next couple of days. I am sorry, but I do not think I will be able to give you much of a honeymoon.
Until Wensday,
Your obedient servant,
Lloyd
Louise had to smile, particularly at the mention of the bed. She wondered if it was intended as a subtle reminder. She hadn’t expected a love letter from Lloyd and this was certainly not that, yet it was in its way a commendable effort from one who had never been to school.
She turned to Mary, who was eyeing her dubiously, an unread letter of her own in her hands. ‘Lloyd is arriving on Wednesday. He says not to meet him, however, as he will hire a horse in Boolburra. At least,’ she laughed, ‘those aren’t his exact words. His letter-writing is quite endearing. He didn’t go to school, you see. It’s amazing how literate he is, in the circumstances.’
‘I only hope you don’t ever grow to be ashamed of him, Louise.’
‘Ashamed?’ Louise lifted her head defiantly. ‘I’m proud of him. Besides, his lack of education isn’t unusual in the bush and is certainly no disgrace amongst the people with whom we will be associating.’ She widened her eyes in appeal. ‘Cousin Mary, will you look through my gowns with me and help me decide what I should wear to my wedding?’
Mary’s face softened and Louise felt a little rush of relief. There was no-one else to share these feminine details with her. Heaven knows her wedding was going to be unremarkable enough, without Mary and James detracting from her pleasure with their disapproval.
Chapter Twenty-five
The day before Lloyd’s expected arrival, Louise was reading under a shady tree in the front garden when the dogs ran out, barking. Looking up the track she saw a lone horseman approaching. Her first instinctive, joyful thought that it was Lloyd quickly gave way to a plummeting sensation in the stomach. She dropped her book and ran inside, her skirts bundled out of the way.
She found Mary in the kitchen, rolling pastry for an apple pie. Mary paused with her rolling pin in midair, her eyebrows raised. ‘Whatever’s the matter, Louise? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘It’s worse than that!’ Louise paused, trying to catch her breath. ‘Did one of you write to Charles?’
Mary coloured. ‘Yes, I’m afraid your Cousin James did. He thought it was his duty, in the circumstances.’
Louise struggled to control her indignation, knowing James’s action was probably justified. ‘Well, you had best wash your hands and remove your apron, Cousin Mary. He has just arrived.’
Louise didn’t make herself one of the welcoming party. Slipping away to the sitting room, she sat at the piano, playing a tempestuous piece to relieve her frustration. She didn’t look up when she heard Charles’s footsteps.
He came to the piano and rested against it, contemplating her. ‘My dear Louise, you are looking well.’
She stopped playing and returned his gaze. The same could be said of him; he was brown and healthy-looking, impeccably dressed as always. ‘Life in the country agrees with me, Charles,’ she retorted levelly.
‘Yes, I remember you were always convinced of that.’ He paused, tracing his fingers along the carved edge of the piano. ‘I hear you are about to be married.’
‘You heard correctly.’
‘Weren’t you intending to invite your brother to the wedding?’
‘We’re inviting no-one to the wedding.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘As hole-in-the-corner as that? It need not be, you know. You could pretend to be the virginal bride and no-one here would know the difference.’
‘Stop taunting me, Charles. You know very well why we’re being married quietly. I don’t believe you’ve come all this way to inform me that you’ll provide a lavish reception.’
‘No, not exactly. The problem is, who would we invite? If the Barclays are willing to associate with this Kavanagh chap there are others who might not be so broad-minded.’
‘It matters not one whit to me what they think. The people I once knew are of no concern now. Lloyd and I shall be living a different life.’
She turned back to the piano and resumed playing, this time choosing her favourite piece, ‘Greensleeves’. Charles grasped the lid and dropped it down with a snap, narrowly missing her hastily withdrawn fingers. Her gaze flew up to his, startled and angry, but she flinched when she saw the hardness there.
‘You’ve forgotten one thing, Louise. I haven’t given my consent.’
‘I thought we’d agreed that I would go my own way and ‘be damned to me’.’ Her temper was rising swiftly. ‘I’m twenty-one, you know.’
‘We’ll see, my dear, we’ll see.’ He smiled mockingly. ‘I hear this lover of yours is due to arrive tomorrow.’
‘Yes and you can keep away from him with your lies this time, you swine.’
He stepped swiftly closer to her, grasping her arm in his strong fingers, squeezing it until he saw the anger on her face replaced by pain and fear. However, she didn’t cry out.
‘I’m warning you, Louise. You may be my sister, but I don’t take to being called names by anyone.’ He paused for effect, glaring down at her. ‘Actually, I didn’t come to take you home again, as it happens.’
‘Why did you come, then? To gloat over me?’
He ignored that. ‘You know, when I took you to England I thought you would be thanking me for it in twelve months’ time. As it happens it would have spared us all a lot of worry and trouble if I’d left you here. I’m certainly not about to make the same mistake a second time. I merely wish to make it clear to you, if you marry this Kavanagh chap you may as well forget you were ever an Ashford. You will starve in the streets before you receive a penny from us. And if the pioneering spirit deserts you don’t come crawling back to Banyandah for a roof above your head.’
Louise eyed him coldly. ‘I see no reason why I should ever feel impelled to apply to your charity, Charles.’
‘So long as you understand the situation.’ He turned to go. ‘I shall leave you to your music. I don’t suppose there’ll be a piano where you are going, so you had best make the most of it while you may.’
~*~
At the dinner table Charles was at his most charming. To Louise’s disgust James and Mary seemed to like him. Sarah, who was excited about Louise’s impending wedding, was clearly fascinated by this sophisticated older cousin. Jack however was morose and withdrawn, as he’d been ever since Lloyd’s appearance on the scene. He was obviously not in the mood to be impressed by Charles.
Lloyd and his imminent arrival weren’t mentioned at all. This aggravated Louise, who almost felt compelled to introduce him into the conversation. However she had the sense not to do so, knowing Charles was likely to say something unpleasant and embarrass everyone.
She wished Jack wouldn’t act the part of the wounded suitor, since nothing had ever been declared between them. She didn’t believe he was genuinely in love with her, but it was convenient for him to think so, since she was the only personable girl of his age and class within a radius of fifty miles.
When Lloyd arrived the next morning they were all outside to welcome him, if inadvertently. They were taking morning tea under the shady gum tree in the front yard as Mary liked to do when the weather wasn’t too hot. In honour of Charles’s presence, the men hadn’t gone off to work in the paddocks. Instead they’d spent the morning looking at horses; the brood mares and foals and the yearlings to be sold the following year.
As Lloyd dismounted at the gate James and Jack stood up, looking awkward, but Charles lounged back on the rug with an expression of detached amusement. Only Louise walked to the gate, smiling at Lloyd and murmuring a private greeting. She led him to the group, her hand on his arm in a defiantly possessive gesture, though uneasily conscious of Charles in the background. James greeted him stiffly, Mary reservedly. Then Lloyd’s gaze fell on the reclining figure and she felt his entire body tense.
‘So we meet again, old chap,’ drawled Charles, not bothering to rise. ‘You know, when I last saw you I really didn’t think we would. I hope you didn’t suffer any...ill-effects.’
They were all staring at Lloyd with startled expressions. Louise registered the loathing on his face with a sickening jolt to the stomach. But then he seemed to struggle for self-control and turned away without having addressed a single word to Charles. Not that Charles appeared to regard the snub. He merely looked more amused than ever.
The next half-hour, during which Lloyd accepted a cup of tea from Mary and nibbled without apparent appetite at a scone, was fraught with embarrassed silences and uncomfortable attempts at conversation. Only Charles appeared at ease and indeed he seemed to be enjoying himself hugely, though he didn’t contribute at all to the conversation. Louise glared at him when no-one else was looking, but he only grinned insufferably. James glanced at him strangely once or twice, but Lloyd didn’t look Charles’s way at all. It seemed to Louise that he couldn’t do so for fear of losing control of the anger within him.
‘When do you leave, Kavanagh?’ James asked at last. And then flushed, as if thinking the question might be taken as a desire to be rid of him.
Lloyd glanced at Louise. ‘This afternoon. We’ll go to Rockhampton on tonight’s train. Have you packed, Louise?’
She nodded, smiling at him. ‘I’ve been ready for several days now.’
‘Hasn’t it occurred to you, Louise,’ spoke Charles mockingly behind her, ‘that I should by rights be giving you away at the altar? I mean, our dear Papa isn’t here to do i
t.’
Louise swung on him, infuriated. ‘I wish you would go away, Charles and leave us alone. We shall do very well without you.’
Mary rose to her feet hurriedly. ‘Please help me take these things inside, Louise. I’m sure everyone’s had sufficient.’
As the women disappeared inside, James cleared his throat and knocked out his pipe on the trunk of the tree. Carefully tamping fresh tobacco in the bowl, he turned his sober gaze on Lloyd. ‘How are you going with the filly you bought from us? Did you get the horses home without any trouble?’
Lloyd nodded, looking up from a careful study of the ground. ‘We had a good trip. I haven’t had time to even put a rope on the filly, though. I’ve been flat out finishing off the house.’
‘It’s ready to move into, I take it?’
‘It’s livable. There’s not much in the way of furniture, but we’ll be able to buy some in Rockhampton. Louise will manage until it comes. She’s a lot tougher than you’d think.’
‘You would know about that,’ observed Charles smoothly. ‘No doubt she had to be, in your company.’
Lloyd gritted his teeth, looking directly at Charles for the first time since his arrival. ‘I didn’t ask her to come with me when she turned up at Bauhinia Downs with nothing but a swag and a horse and a valise full of clothes! It was you who drove her to that.’
‘I was only doing my duty, old chap. Following the Pater’s orders.’
Lloyd turned away from him, not answering. His hands were clenched; with an effort he opened his fingers and followed James’s example in taking out his pipe. He yearned to smash his fist against that grinning, malicious face, to spoil those handsome features a little. Charles was so like Louise and yet so unalike. The difference was human decency, or the lack of it, in Charles’s case.
He longed to just grab Louise and go. They could wait at Boolburra until the train came in. The hours would pass tediously in the half-deserted siding, but a little tedium was preferable to the company of this Ashford bastard.
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