BEING ALONE IN THE CAR for an hour and fifteen minutes did nothing to help keep my mind off of Weston. It was the day I’d been dreaming of, but things were very different than I had imagined. Leaving wasn’t an escape. It was good-bye, and I wasn’t sure how I should feel about it.
The radio seemed to know how low I was feeling, the DJ playing every sad song on his list. Then, the upbeat songs just reminded me that I couldn’t cheer up, and that only made me feel worse.
Sam pulled into the parking lot of my dorm. Most of the parking spaces were already taken, so he parallel-parked next to a tree that I was pretty sure was not a legal spot. He hopped out and directed me to park behind him.
“They’ll forgive us today,” he said with a reassuring smile. It faded when he saw my expression. “Sweet pea, come here.”
He pulled me into a hug, and then Julianne’s footsteps stopped next to us.
I looked up at her, and her eyes were as red and wet as mine. I sniffed and then wiped my eyes, and Julianne did the same.
She nodded. “Okay. We can do this.” She lowered her chin and cupped my cheeks. “This is a good day. This is a great day.”
After I checked in and received my paperwork and key, I returned to where my parents stood at the open SUV.
“Here we go. This is it. This is the day,” Sam said, holding a laundry basket full of various items above his head.
Julianne began to giggle, and then I did, too.
I stacked two of the smaller boxes and lifted them into my arms.
“Thank God there is an elevator.” Julianne huffed as she lifted a box. “This is Bennett Hall.” She smiled. “It’s the best. Boone Pickens Stadium is just right there, and they have the best food.”
I shot an appreciative smile at Sam. “You know how much I love food.”
“That wasn’t my call,” Sam admitted. “You can thank Mom for getting the inside scoop on that one.”
I turned my charm on high and pointed it straight at Julianne.
“Didn’t I tell you we’ve got you taken care of?” she said, pleased with herself.
“Let me carry that, Julianne,” a smooth deep voice said from behind the SUV.
Weston stepped around, holding out his arms. My stomach sank, and my heart leaped.
Julianne lugged the box over to him and then stacked another one on top of that. “Nice of you to show up, Wes.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said simply.
Julianne grabbed a couple of bags and followed Sam toward the building.
“Hi,” I said, instantly feeling stupid over my simple greeting.
His eyes didn’t give anything away. “I wasn’t doing anything else today. I figured I’d be a complete dick if I didn’t come help you move.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice sounding small.
“It doesn’t mean anything. I’m just being a friend.”
I nodded, and we walked together across the lot until we got to the lobby. Sam was holding the elevator while Julianne held the papers that told us which room I was in and the directions to get there.
“Second floor,” Julianne said. “Two thirty-seven.”
Sam pushed the button, and Weston and I did our best to fit inside with our full loads. Our arms were pressed together, and I ached for his warm soft skin.
The elevator opened. Weston walked out into the hall, looking in both directions. Sam passed us and led the way. Julianne followed him, and Weston brought up the rear.
Once inside, Sam lowered his boxes, and Julianne put the bags on the floor. She pulled out a stack of folded sheets, handed them to me, and tossed the memory foam mattress to Weston.
“Get to work!” Julianne said with a smile.
The single bedroom suite had a full kitchen and a washer and dryer, and it seemed to go on forever.
“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed,” I said.
Sam put his hands on my shoulders. “You mean overjoyed. This is a great day, remember? We’ll go get more of your things.”
“I’ll help,” Weston said, taking a step.
Julianne put her hand on her chest. “We helped pack. You can help her unpack.”
Weston nodded once.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Sam took his wife by the hand, and they shut the door behind them.
Weston unzipped the clear plastic bag that held the memory foam and unrolled it over the mattress. I unfolded the fitted sheet, and he held out his hands.
“Thanks again,” I said as we worked together to make the bed.
“This is a nice place.”
I couldn’t think of anything amazing to say, so I didn’t say anything at all.
“Seems like a lot for just you.”
My cheeks flushed. “Are you insulting me or trying to make me feel guilty?”
He sighed. “Neither.”
We finished the bed and began unpacking boxes. Sam and Julianne were in and out. Weston hooked up a lamp and then unpacked the organic cleaners and the rest of the kitchen while I put away clothes.
Once everything had been brought upstairs, Sam began helping Julianne hang up pictures, making the suite look a little more like home.
Weston ambled about until he finally sat on the couch. “Did you guys rent this?” he said, spreading out his arms and resting them on top of the cushions.
“No, it’s furnished,” Julianne said.
Weston tried not to be impressed. “I’m pretty sure my apartment in Dallas will look nothing like this.”
Sam chuckled. “I’m going to guess your parents will make sure you’re living safe and well.”
“I’m not going to Duke anymore, remember?” Weston smirked.
“So I’ve heard. Peter also mentioned he was proud of you for making a choice and standing by it. He’s also bragged on some of your charcoals, specifically the one of my daughter.”
I held my breath. Weston looked like Sam had just punched him.
“Yeah…that’s not up anymore.”
At that moment, I felt like the one who’d been punched. I found the closest seat and sat down.
Sam looked around. “We, um…we forgot a few things.”
“Like what?” Weston said. “I’ll go grab it.”
“Trash bags, for one,” Julianne said. “Sea salt and black pepper granules for the grinders.”
Weston looked at me. “Is she serious right now?”
I shrugged.
Sam tugged on his wife. “Let’s go, honey. We can beat the rush of other parents who forgot things.”
They scurried out the door, leaving Weston and me feeling too much in a big suite boiling over with tension.
I covered my face. “You don’t have to stay. You can leave.”
“Thanks,” he said, standing.
“You don’t have to,” I said, panicking. “I just meant that if you didn’t want to stay here…I wanted to say good-bye, but I didn’t expect you to help us move. I appreciate it.”
“We’ve already said good-bye. You’ve been saying it for months.”
I sank into the back cushion of the chair. “That’s not true.”
“You’re still wearing it.”
I touched the necklace, feeling my cheeks catch fire. “Should I take it off? I don’t really know how this works.”
“Do what you want,” he snapped.
I crossed my hands over my stomach. It had been so long since I needed to protect myself against anyone trying to hurt me that I was out of practice.
Weston’s hands went up and then fell to his thighs. He was wearing his typical basketball shorts, red, with a navy T-shirt and a backward red ball cap, his shaggy brown hair peeking out. “I don’t want to fight. I’m just going to…” He pointed to the door, and then he scooped his keys and walked toward it.
“You can’t keep leaving,” I said, standing.
He turned around, his jaw set. “What?”
“You can’t keep breaking my heart and then blaming me for it.”
His eyebrows shot up, and
he pointed to his chest. “I broke your heart?”
“This is the last time I’ll let you come here. If you quit on me, I quit, too.” A hot tear burned down my cheek, but I wiped it away.
Weston shook his head with a disgusted look on his face. “I don’t even know why I came.” He reached for the knob.
“Because you love me!” I said, my voice breaking. “And you know I love you! So, why? I still don’t know what I did wrong!”
Weston stared at me like I was on fire.
I took a step. “Because I didn’t put your ring on my finger? Because I don’t want to move in with you? You’re wrong,” I said, pointing. “I don’t know the first thing about love, but you’re wrong. You’re the one hurting me…and you…for no reason. We were happy. We were together, and now, we’re not. I didn’t do that,” I said, breathing out a faltering breath. “You left me.”
Weston’s eyes fell to the floor. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, and he gripped the knob. “Enjoy Stillwater.” He paused. “I mean that.”
As he walked out the door, I grabbed the closest thing to me—a frame—and out of pure frustration, I chucked it at the door. It shattered, and I covered my mouth. Julianne had bought that because it looked a lot like our family frame, but it said Happy. Now, happy was lying in pieces all over the floor.
He’d left me.
I walked over to the window. Sam and Julianne stopped Weston in the parking lot. Weston’s fingers were hooked on his hips, and he was shifting his weight from one leg to the other as if he couldn’t stand still.
Sam put his hand on his shoulder, and Julianne hurried toward the building. Weston turned his ball cap around, pulled it low over his brow, and then hung his head. Sam pulled him closer, and Weston hugged him tight.
The thought of my new frame lying in fragments on the floor made me rush over to the entryway, but I wasn’t sure where the broom was, and Julianne was already knocking anyway.
I slowly opened the door, feeling ashamed the moment her eyes fell on the broken remains at her feet.
“Oh, Erin,” Julianne said, joining me on the floor. She helped with the large pieces and then walked to the hallway closet.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I might have thrown a small tantrum.”
“What did he say to you?”
“Not much. I did most of the talking. He did the walking out. He’s gotten pretty good at that.”
Julianne frowned. “He’s so lost and confused. I’m sorry he’s taking it out on you.”
Sam knocked on the door, still opened a bit from when Julianne had come in. “You’ve got it?” he said.
He retrieved the dustpan from the closet, and then he held it in place so that Julianne could sweep up the last bit of shards.
Minutes later, the floor was clean, and the remnants of my anger had been thrown away in one of my new trash bags. It was like happy had never happened.
“I know it’s hard to believe now,” Sam said, “but he’s hurting—mostly himself. He’s trying not to care if you care anymore. Boys aren’t as tough as our counterparts. We flail around like toddlers learning to walk, taking out everything around us while trying to get to where we’re going. Anything that’s halfway scary makes us wail like banshees.”
Julianne and I chuckled.
“It’s so true,” she said, shaking her head. “Remember that time—”
“Yes,” Sam said, cutting her off. “Let’s not revisit it.” He looked to me. “That boy is going to figure out what he’s done, and if he has any sense, he’ll come back on his knees, begging for your forgiveness.”
“He won’t have to beg,” I said, touching my necklace while looking out the window.
“Class dismissed,” Professor Kelley said, her blonde curls bouncing.
I gathered my things and followed the herd to the hallway. Then, I made my way down the steps and out the exit toward Bennett Hall.
Fall was always unpredictable in Oklahoma. Thanksgiving break was just a day away, and although the sun was shining, it wasn’t uncommon for the state to see a thirty-degree drop in temperature the next day.
The weather was on the warmer side, but the relentless wind was chilly. I pulled my coat tighter as I walked back to my dorm, keeping my head down.
For as long as I had dreamed about my college days at Oklahoma State University, never once had I imagined coming home for the holidays, but Julianne would be cooking a turkey, and Sam had offered to pick me up after whatever reason he’d made up to be in Stillwater the last day before break.
I crossed Hall of Fame Avenue, and then turned east toward Bennett Hall. Someone jogged next to me and walked several steps before I looked up to see who it was.
I froze. “Brady,” I said.
He towered over me, a smug expression on his face. “OSU must be desperate. They’re just letting anyone in these days.”
I stuffed my hands in my pockets, glaring up at him. I hadn’t let Weston retaliate for when they jumped him, hoping to spare us all more violence. Running into Brady had been at the back of my mind since orientation, but I was certain about one thing. Brady Beck wasn’t allowed to intimidate me anymore.
“Well,” I said, continuing my walk home, “it is a state school.”
Brady followed.
“One of my frat brothers was asking about you when he found out where you graduated. I told him you had a raging case of herpes.”
“How very mature of you.”
Brady jerked me to a stop by my coat, and leaned in. “
I yanked away, and he blinked. “This isn’t high school, Brady. No one cares who your parents are or what kind of truck you drive. No one even cares if you’re an asshole. Not even me. But this is the rest of my life, and you’re not invited.”
Brady laughed once. “That’s it? That’s your big speech?”
I tilted my head. “Is that what you want? A speech? Theatrics?” I shook my head. “I don’t need to hate you to feel better about myself, and here you are, begging for me to pay you some attention. Chasing me down for any pathetic morsel you can get.”
Brady shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“Do you hear me?” I asked, leaning toward him, refusing to even blink. “I don’t hate you, Brady. I don’t feel anything toward you at all.”
He looked at me with pure disgust. “Well, I hate you, you nasty cunt.”
I stared straight into his eyes. “I know. We’ve established that. Can we both move on with our lives, now? Or do you require more of my attention?”
“Fuck you,” he said, walking away.
I exhaled, and continued on my trek to Bennett. I felt a thousand pounds lighter with every step, knowing that if Brady ever thought of speaking to me again, my words would be in the back of his mind. Precedence had been set, and any additional interaction between us would further prove my theory. I knew Brady was too proud to allow that to happen. His pride was even stronger than his need to be a bully.
As I approached my dorm, the crowd grew thicker as students entered and exited the building.
“Erin!” a high-pitched voice called from the crowd.
Rebecca, my copper-haired neighbor was slipping around fellow students to get tome. “Hey!” She was always chipper, no matter if it was seven a.m. or midnight.
“Last Chance party at the Lambda Chi’s Animal House tonight.”
“No, thank you,” I said, pulling open the door to Bennett’s lobby.
“Oh, c’mon! Please!” she said.
Rebecca was from Hobart, Oklahoma—a town with a population even smaller than Blackwell—and her accent was exceptionally Southern.
“I have to study, don’t you?” I asked.
“Yes?” she said, sounding more like a question than an answer.
I shook my head. “There is nothing going on at that party that is more important than my Music Appreciation test. I have a B at the moment.”
“Bs are good, Erin!”
“My parents are
paying for my education. If a B is my best, okay, but I owe it to them and myself to study for this test to see if I can do better.”
Rebecca snarled her lip. “You are spending too much time with your adviser.”
When we reached the elevator, Rebecca pressed the button for the second floor. “I have to study, too. I was hoping you would talk me out of it.”
“You knew I wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, pretty sure that’s why I asked you and not Hannah Matthews.”
Hayden Wentz rushed in before the doors could close.
Rebecca’s posture immediately improved, and her smile changed from goofy to demure.
Hayden glanced at both of us, trying not to breathe all over us as he puffed from his sprint. He offered a quick nod. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to the Lambda Chi party tonight?” Rebecca said.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m an initiate, so I kind of have to.”
“Oh,” Rebecca said, batting her eyes. She looked at me with a pleading expression.
“No,” I said.
“No what?” Hayden asked, suddenly curious.
“I don’t want to go.”
“Okay,” he said, confused. “I didn’t ask you, not that I wouldn’t. I’ve thought about it actually, but I wasn’t…never mind.”
Rebecca’s mouth fell open.
“What? No,” I said too emphatically. “She…I didn’t think you were asking me. I was telling her that I…never mind.”
Rebecca began to giggle, and I closed my eyes, mortified.
The elevator opened, and I practically lunged for the hallway. Rebecca followed, still snickering.
“Oh my God,” I grumbled.
“Didn’t you hear him? He likes you!”
I wrinkled my nose. “He doesn’t even know me.”
“Okay, he’s attracted to you. You should go.”
I slipped the key into the lock and gave it a jiggle before turning the knob. “Give it up, Bec. Do what you want, but I’m not going.”
I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, closing my eyes.
I wasn’t blind. Hayden was the most attractive guy in Bennett Hall, but he was also a huge jerk. He was from Tonkawa, a tiny town separated from Blackwell by just fifteen minutes of pasture and farmland.
But having even a moment of attraction toward anyone only made me think of Weston, and mostly, I just tried to forget. That was another reason I was sure Sam was coming to Stillwater to get me. My parents were afraid I wouldn’t come home just so I could avoid running into Weston.
Happenstance: A Novella Series: Part Three Page 12