“Which apparently is the only thing stopping them from expelling you permanently. You should have walked away.”
“See, I told you James. She’s nothing but a troublemaker. When she slapped me last month, you should have kicked her ass back then. She has no respect for anybody. I say kick her out.”
“You don’t have to kick me out,” I said standing, “so don’t bother, I’m already out.” I turned and walked away.
“Kenisha, get back here. We’re not through yet. You got expelled. That means we need to get you in someplace else.”
“I say send her ass to public school,” Courtney demanded.
“My daughter isn’t going to public school. We’ll get a tutor for a few months. Barbara would want that.”
“Why the hell not public school? I went to public school, and ain’t nothing wrong with me. I turned out fine,” she said proudly.
“I didn’t say anything was wrong with public school Courtney, I went to public school, too—and so did Barbara.”
“Do you have to mention her name every five seconds? I’m so sick of hearing about her I don’t know what to do.”
“Look Courtney, Hazelhurst Academy is where Barbara wanted Kenisha to go, and that’s where she’s going back. I’m not enrolling her in public school just to pull her out again. A tutor for the next few months will be fine.”
“Hell, no. How much is that gonna cost?”
“Don’t worry about the money,” he said.
“Well, have her ass pay for it then. I know she got that fat insurance policy. She’s sitting on all that money from her mother, and we got to fork over cash to get her a tutor. No, uh-uh. That’s wrong.”
“Whatever money Barbara left Kenisha and Jade belongs to them. I’m Kenisha’s father. I’m paying for the tutor. Barbara would have wanted it.”
“There you go again. Barbara this, Barbara that.” My dad gave Courtney that look, and she went off on him. “What, you trying to say something, James? Do I embarrass you? Is that why you don’t take me out anymore? Are you sick of hearing me complain? Well, I’m sick of hearing about her.”
“This isn’t about you, Courtney.”
“Yeah, it is. You think I’m not good enough for you. Why? ’Cause my name isn’t Barbara? Well, I am…”
Okay, as usual Courtney turned everything around to be about her. She lit into my dad and forgot all about me. I’m not saying that I was upset, but at the moment I had other things to deal with, and sitting here listening to her rage on at my dad wasn’t working.
“…I am so sick of you acting like I’m nothing and she’s all that. If Barbara was so damn good then why did you come after me…”
I was watching my dad and seeing him just sitting there. He wasn’t even trying to argue back. By now Courtney was all up in his face screaming. She went on and on about my mom and how my dad used to complain about her. I sat listening, hoping she didn’t know what she was talking about, but I kinda knew she did. I knew my dad had complained about my mom. So what Courtney was saying wasn’t all that surprising. It sounded just like something my dad would say. ’Cause it was what I used to say.
I’m thinking about doing that fast-forward thing again. Pushing a button and getting this drama over with. I seriously wish I could do that right about now.
They went on for a while longer until my dad got tired and ended it. He sent me to my room, but I still heard Courtney muttering as she stomped around the house. My dad went out, and the boys were already doing a sleep-over with friends. Nobody was in the house except me and Courtney. I lay across my bed and closed my eyes ready for whatever came next. Nothing did. I didn’t intend to fall asleep, but I guess I did ’cause I woke up and it was light outside.
Saturday morning. I got up early and started dumping my stuff into my suitcase. I left my school uniforms in the closet but took the rest of my clothes and everything else. I hated the idea of running away. It felt like I was being my mom all over again. I remember the last time I packed to leave this house. I was so upset, but that was before I knew what was really going on.
This time it’s my choice. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Being here reminds me too much of before when my mom was alive, so I’m going back to my grandmother’s house. I also decided what I’m going to do about school. I’ll ask my grandmother to enroll me in Penn Hall High. It’s right around the corner from her house, so getting there would be no problem. I’ll go first thing Monday morning. But right now I needed to get to D.C.
I called a cab then started carrying my things downstairs. “Where do you think you’re going?” Courtney asked, seeing me bringing my things down.
“Where you going, Kemesh?” Jason asked, standing looking up at me still in his Power Rangers pajamas. “Can I go, too?”
“No dummy, she’s going to school,” Jr. said.
“Nah-uh, cartoons is on. Can I go, too?”
“Not this time, little man,” I said looking out the side window for the cab.
“I asked you a question, Kenisha. Where do you think you’re going?” Courtney said.
I guess I’m so used to ignoring her, to tell you the truth, I forgot she was even standing there. “It’s Saturday, remember? I’m going to D.C. like I always do.”
“You’re taking that much stuff with you?”
I looked down at the two suitcases, backpack and two cardboard boxes on the floor by the front door. It must have been obvious that I cleaned out my room and was leaving for good.
“You can’t leave, at least not yet. Your dad wants you here when he gets back. He wants to talk to you.”
“He can talk to me in D.C. I already called a cab.”
“Didn’t I just say he wants you here?” Courtney said, as the house phone began ringing.
“I want to go to D.C. with Kenisha,” Jr. said.
“I want to go, too,” Jason added. “Me, too, me, too.”
“Jason, we gotta get dressed and get our stuff so we can go,” Jr. said quickly, right before they turned and ran up the stairs yelling and laughing about going to D.C.
“Kenisha, your dad said for you to be here when he comes home. I’m trying not to hear him talk about how I kicked you out while he wasn’t here.” The phone rang again.
“I’ll tell him the truth that you didn’t. I’m leaving ’cause that’s what I want to do.”
“You need to wait for him.” She walked into the living room to answer the phone. I heard her talking, then she was yelling. Apparently she’d been getting crank calls. “I hate this shit. It ain’t funny.”
I looked at her knowing that she probably was the one who did the same thing to my mom. “No, it’s not funny. Remember that next time.”
“Excuse me, are you trying to say something to me?”
I didn’t answer. It was too early to get into anything with her. Besides, all I wanted to do was get to D.C. A car horn blew outside as a cab drove up in the driveway. I looked out the window. “That’s my cab.” I opened the front door, grabbed both suitcases and went outside. The cabbie popped the trunk, and I put them inside. I went back twice to get the two big boxes. The last time I grabbed my backpack and kind of turned to take a look around. I don’t know what I was looking at or for. I guess I was just trying to remember. “Tell Dad I’ll be at my grandmother’s.”
“We’re ready,” Jr. hollered as he came flying down the steps. Jason was right behind him. “We’re ready, we’re ready.” They each had gotten dressed over their pajamas and put sneakers on. Jason’s were on the wrong feet, as usual, but he was ready.
They went running past Courtney. But she moved fast and grabbed both by their collars. They squirmed and yelled for her to let go. “We want to go with Kemesh,” Jason cried.
“Get your butts in this house. I just made breakfast, so get in the kitchen and eat.”
“I don’t want to eat. I want to go with Kenisha,” Jr. said.
“Yeah, I want to go with Kemesh too.”
“Go eat, no
w,” Courtney pulled harder, turning them and maneuvering them back into the house. They stopped squirming and stopped to look back at the cab.
I was already inside, so I waved and blew them a kiss. They waved sadly, turned and went inside. I never would have thought it, but I was actually really close to my dad’s other kids. It started out just to get on Courtney’s nerves by getting them to do things to drive her crazy, but it soon became fun. It was childish, but I had a blast seeing her face. I was even teaching them how to swim.
The cab pulled up at my grandmother’s house about twenty minutes later. I got out and started pulling my stuff out the trunk when I heard somebody behind me.
“Hey, Shorty, you’re early.”
I smiled without looking. I knew that it was Terrence Butler, the lawn mower guy. I still called him that sometimes ’cause that’s all I knew to call him before. The first time I saw him he was mowing my grandmother’s yard, and he looked so good. But aside from his body, which was slamming, LL-Cool-J hard, and his one dimple, which was too cute, I think his soft, light-colored eyes were his most attractive feature. They were warm and mesmerizing.
I turned to him and smiled even brighter. Seeing him felt like home. “Hey lawnmower guy,” I said. Yep, he looked good. He was wearing a white polo with jeans and sneaks. His big biceps and triceps poked through his shirt, and I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. He’d gotten his hair cut off, all of it, so the natural, barely blond tips were all gone.
“What happened to your hair?” I asked, surprised.
He reached up and ran his hand over his head from front to back. “I’m pledging this semester.”
“You’re pledging,” I said. He nodded. “I didn’t know you were pledging a fraternity this year.”
He started laughing and ran his hand over his bald head again. “It’s hard. The big brothers are killing me.”
“They made you shave your head?” I asked.
“Let’s say it was highly suggested.”
“Is it really crazy? Do they make you eat disgusting things like on reality shows?”
“Nah, it’s not too bad. You have no time to yourself. Every waking minute belongs to the big brothers, and they can make you do anything they want,” he said as he took the two boxes and a suitcase. “What’s all this, you giving up on Virginia and staying this time?” he asked, jokingly.
“Yeah, as a matter of fact I am,” I said.
“For real?” he asked.
“Yeah, for real,” I said.
“Why, what happened?”
“I got expelled.”
“From school? For what? What happened?”
“Fighting.”
“Are you kidding me,” he half smiled, obviously not wanting it to be the truth. “What were you fighting about?”
“Which time?” I asked. “Come on.” We carried my things inside the house. My grandmother was already up, of course. She was in the kitchen cooking something. It smelled good. “Hello,” I called out as soon as I entered. I waited for the petite, gray-haired woman to appear. She came from around the corner. “Hi, Grandmom,” I said smiling. It was actually good to see her. Other than my sister, Jade, she was my only connection to my mother.
“Well, good morning. You’re here early,” my grandmother said as she wiped her hands on her apron and opened her arms wide to me. I hugged her. She felt like home and she smelled like cookies. She stepped back, looked at me, then squinted, seeing my expression. “Everything all right?”
I looked at Terrence, and he looked at me. “I’m a let you ladies talk a bit. Mrs. King, call me when you want me to check out those bushes for you. Shorty, call me, okay,” he said. I nodded.
“Thanks, Terrence, I’ll make sure to do that,” she said as Terrence left. “Well, now, let me look at you.”
“Why?” I asked, figuring she might already know what happened.
“Because you’re going to be sweet sixteen tomorrow, and I want to make sure I remember you as my little girl.”
Man, sweet sixteen, I almost forgot all about that, again. Funny, I waited a long time to be sixteen. Now that the day was almost here, it felt nothing like I thought it would be. “Grandmom, something happened at school that we need to talk about. It’s something bad.”
“Come on in the kitchen. We’ll talk there.”
I followed her and saw that she was right in the middle of making gingerbread cookies. There were little brown men everywhere, all over the counters and table. “What’s all this?” I asked.
“Your mother loved gingerbread cookie men,” she said, as she leaned over and peeked in the oven. “She told me you did too, so I thought I’d surprise you and make a few for tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?” I asked. Duh?
“Your birthday,” she said, bringing a wire rack covered with cookies to the table. She sat down and looked at me. “Come on. Have a seat and tell me this dire news.”
“I don’t know about dire, but it’s—yeah—I guess dire is a good way to describe it. Since school started I haven’t been doing so well. I’m behind in my classes, and I been kind of getting in some trouble.”
She picked up a small tube of icing and handed it to me. I squeezed it, and a thin stream of white sugar poured out onto my finger. I tasted it. It was heavenly. I watched as she picked up another tube and a cookie, then began decorating. I did what she did. “Go on,” she prompted.
“I got ISS, in-school suspension, for three days. Then I got into an argument with a teacher and then a couple of fights.”
“You were fighting?” she asked, looking up from her busy work. I nodded. “Okay, what else?” she asked.
“The school gave me one more chance to act right and I did. I did all my current assignments and even began doing the past work, but then I got in another fight.”
“Same girl?”
“No, somebody different. She thinks I want LaVon back, and I don’t. Remember, I told you about all that. She’s pregnant.”
“Oh, your friend, what’s her name?”
“Chili, and she’s not my friend anymore.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“Anyway, she pushed me and I punched her. We fought.”
“I see, so tell me, what does all this mean?”
“It means that I got expelled for the semester. I can’t go back until next semester. I’d have to take an entrance exam at the end of October. But right now I have to find someplace else to go. Dad wants to hire a tutor for me for the next two months, but I think I just want to go to Penn Hall.”
She looked up again. “Penn Hall?” she asked. I nodded. “Do you know anything about Penn Hall High School?”
“No, I saw it a few weeks ago. Why?”
“Do you think you’re up to going there?”
“It’s just a high school, right? No big deal.”
“Penn Hall is not just a high school. It’s very different from the all-girls academy you attended. The rules are different. You’re going to have to be alert every second. Now, did you discuss this decision with your father?”
“No. He stayed out all last night, and he wanted me to wait until he got in today. But I wanted to talk to you and see what you said about all this.”
“Well, I say you need to stop all this foolishness and fighting. If you came here for sympathy and pity, you’ve come to the wrong place. I don’t agree with anything you’ve done, and I don’t appreciate you using your mother’s memory to act out. I understand you’re still angry about your mother. Lord knows you have a right to be, but ruining your life is no way to keep her memory alive. You need to talk, fine. Talk to me or Jade or your friends or your father. You got a lot of anger built up inside you and you need to find a way to release it,” she said.
“You find you want to talk to someone neutral, fine. I’ll find a counselor for you. But you need to grow up and stop acting a fool. You’re not the only one who lost someone. I’ll tell you like I told your mother over and over again—the cho
ices you make now will follow you in the days to come.”
“I know. You told me before.”
“Well, apparently you weren’t listening, were you?”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No you’re not, so don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes. You’re sorry you messed up and got caught. You’re not sorry about what you did. That’s going to happen later.”
“Later? What do you mean?”
“Oh, you can pretend to be contrite all you want young lady, but your day is coming. One of these days you’re going to have to step up and stop thinking only of yourself. Now have a cookie. We’ll get you registered at Penn Hall Monday morning.”
I bit my gingerbread man’s head off. He was delicious. My cell rang while nibbling on his leg. It was Terrence. “Hey,” I said.
“Lecture over?” he asked.
“Yeah, for now I think.”
“Good, come out back.”
I stepped out onto my grandmother’s back porch and saw lawnmower guy standing with flowers in his hand. He gave me the flowers then moved aside. I smiled and laughed at the sight. He had arranged these white pieces of paper all over the grass to say happy birthday. “Aw, that is so sweet. Thank you,” I said looking at the block letters. I gave him a huge hug and then kissed him. I stopped when my grandmother came out onto the porch.
“Grandmom, look what lawnmower guy did for me.”
“I see. This is so sweet, Terrence, absolutely adorable. Now both of you, get down there and pick that up off my freshly cut grass.”
We started laughing. My grandmother will never change. And I guess I don’t really want her to.
Terrence and I spent the rest of the day hanging out together. I talked to Jalisa and Diamond and told them what I was gonna do about school. They weren’t all that happy, but I knew they’d come around eventually. My dad called a couple of times, but I wasn’t in the mood to ruin my day and didn’t answer his call. I figured he’d call again on my birthday, and I’d deal with him then.
So after going to the movies, getting pizza and walking home, Terrence and I sat out on the front steps talking. “When are you going back to Howard?”
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