Anyway, Ursula was talking about how much she liked shopping but how all the stores around the way were old and tired. She went on talking about seeing two or three girls at school with the exact same outfit on. She asked me where I shopped for my clothes. I told her about the shopping mall not far from my dad’s house, my old house. I told her the next time I go shopping, I’d let her know. She seemed happy about that.
So we talked about what she was going to wear tonight and who might show up. I asked her if Cassie would be there. She seemed sure she would be since the party was pretty much open to everybody who wanted to come.
“Is Sierra coming?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but probably.”
“I saw her sitting on your steps earlier. I guess she was waiting to talk to you.”
“I don’t know why. We’re not exactly good friends anymore. We used to be kind of close, but after she got pregnant last year she turned all attitude. She was probably waiting to talk to Darien.”
“She’s pregnant,” I asked, surprised. I don’t know why I was surprised. Nothing should really surprise me anymore.
“Not now. Last year, but she miscarried. But yeah, girl, Darien Jr. She almost had a paycheck with Darien’s face stamped on it for real.”
I started laughing, “Darien almost a dad,” I said.
Ursula nodded. “Actually he is a dad, but I don’t know the other girl and never even saw the baby. I think she lives around his dad’s place. That was two years ago. Believe it or not, they’re still fighting over child support and DNA. See, he’s just plain old drama.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
“He told me that Sierra calls him all the time bugging him. So they’re still together, right?”
“Nah, hell no. After she got pregnant, he broke up with her. Talk about not manning up. So typical. He’s such a triflin’ ass. Instead of stepping up to his responsibilities, he turned his back on her.”
“No wonder she’s pissed off at him.”
“Tell me about it. Anyway, now that he’s off house arrest, I guess she’ll be hanging around again.”
“So why exactly was he on house arrest?”
“He beat some guy up right outside of school. They say he even stabbed the guy, but not seriously. The police said that it was drug related, but nobody found any drugs on him. Sierra was there when it happened. She covered for him saying the other guy jumped Darien with a knife. Everybody knows she’d lie for him. She probably hid the knife and drugs to cover for him.”
“You think it was drug related, too?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. Darien is so dumb. With his dad’s money and help, he could be doing anything and be anything. Instead he’s hanging around playin’ gangsta and getting in trouble acting like some street thug. Then when he gets in trouble, his dad bails him out. That’s so wrong. Money is privilege.”
“Not all the time,” I defended weakly.
“Name one time it’s not. Darien could go to school and be anything he wants. Instead he does the, ‘I’m pissed at the world’ thing and gets away with murder, literally.”
I didn’t say anything. That kind of used to be me, too. My mom and dad used to bail me out all the time, too. Once I got caught shoplifting. When my parents came, they paid a fine and I got off. I was so scared. I never, ever did it again. “Really?”
“Before that, when he was younger, he tried to rob this kid. They got into a pushing thing. The kid got stabbed and D went away. He’s got serious anger issues when he doen’t get his way.”
“Really,” I repeated, “but he’s so nice.”
“Yeah, but he’s got a bad temper. He fights all the time.”
“Don’t we all,” I said knowingly. “I gotta get ready to go. I have stuff to do before tonight. I’ll see you later.” She said okay and I left. Truth was I realized that Darien and I were so much more alike than I thought before, definitely more than lawn mower guy and me.
I got back to my grandmother’s house. She was on her way to Friday night bingo at the church, but she sat a while to talk with me. I told her about the party at Ursula’s house. She wanted to know about adult supervision. I told her about Ursula’s mom having her birthday party upstairs. So she said I could go. After she left for bingo, I called Jalisa and Diamond.
“I took the exam this morning,” I said.
Both Jalisa and Diamond screamed, and then they started asking all these questions about it. “Yes, it was hard. It’s a lot like the SATs and ACTs. Each section was timed, and if you didn’t finish, the computer screen would just shut off on you. There were no breaks. The test lasted two hours. I’ll get a letter of my results next week.” After all the questions were asked and answered, we didn’t say anything more about it.
“Okay, enough exam talk. I need to chill. Y’all want to go to a party tonight? Then y’all can spend the night and we can go to Saturday dance class from here tomorrow.”
“Where?” Diamond asked.
“Yeah, I don’t care. Where?” Jalisa said eagerly.
As usual Jalisa was all for it, but Diamond was the conservative one. She was the one who thought about everything she did before she did it. Jalisa and I were more spontaneous. I guess that’s why we stayed in trouble more than Diamond. So I started telling them about Ursula, Cassie, Sierra and Darien. But I didn’t tell them about the kiss. I still couldn’t believe it myself.
Six hours later, after getting dressed at my place, we started walking down the street to the party. We were talking about Freeman and Hazelhurst as usual. Then Diamond prompted Jalisa to tell me her big news. “What? What?” I said. “Tell me.”
“I’m kind of seeing Isaac,” she said.
“Well, it’s about time. You’ve been dragging that guy’s picture around for what, four years now.”
“Ohh, see, that’s exactly what I said,” Diamond laughed and joked. “See, I told you.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Jalisa said. “I admit it, he’s nice.”
“I know he’s one of LaVon’s boys, and they hang out and all, but you know he’s nothing like LaVon,” I said. We all agreed. “First of all, he’s the only one who actually has a good shot at getting in the NBA, not bonehead LaVon.” We busted out laughing. “I swear I have no idea why I was dealing with the fool.”
“So how’s lawn mower guy?” Diamond asked.
“Absent,” I said.
“What do you mean, absent?”
“He was supposed to be hanging out with me this weekend, but he bailed. He does that a lot lately. I guess it was schoolwork again. But seriously, y’all should have seen those girls checking him out when the limo dropped him off at his dorm on my birthday. It looked like they were ready to rip his clothes off and jump on top of him.”
“You know lawn mower guy is too into you,” Jalisa said.
“Seriously, he actually puts up with your crap,” Diamond joked.
“Hey, Kenisha! Kenisha, you know you wrong.”
We stopped laughing and turned around seeing Li’l T hurrying up behind us. We all groaned at the same time. It never failed. Whenever we were going someplace, Li’l T was always around following right behind us.
“What are you doing out this late?” Diamond asked.
“Shouldn’t your mommy be tucking you in by now?” Jalisa added.
“Y’all think y’all funny. You just lucky I got a sense of humor, and I know that y’all be checkin’ a brotha out when he’s not around.”
“Oh, please,” we all said, then laughed.
“So what’s up with you, girl? You getting all scandalous,” he said to me.
“What are you talking about little boy?” I asked.
“You know what I’m talking about, you and D,” Li’l T said.
“What, who’s D?” Diamond asked.
“I have no idea who he’s talking about,” I said. But I presumed he meant Darien. For once I would love it if Li’l T would keep his mouth shut.
> “Oh, come on, girl, acting like you don’t know. I saw you.”
“Saw me what? What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You know you don’t need to be hanging with D. That dude is wrong. He hangs with gang members, and they say he sells drugs.”
“You don’t even know him,” I said, not believing him.
“Everybody knows D. He’s got drama on his back like white on rice. Brotha is always in deep. See, I thought you and TB were hanging? Guess not.”
“Who’s D?” both Jalisa and Diamond asked.
“And who’s TB?” Jalisa added.
“I thought you were hanging with lawn mower guy,” Diamond said.
“What’s a lawn mower guy?” Li’l T asked.
“Oh, please, you don’t even know what you’re talking about Li’l T.”
“I know I saw you getting out his car the other day after you kissed him,” he said.
Jalisa and Diamond looked at me with their mouths wide open. I glared at Li’l T. He was always up in somebody’s business. Sometimes he just needs to keep his mouth shut.
“It’s not what you think you saw, so don’t even try it. He gave me a ride home after school. That’s all. And for your information, I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me. Now if you’re gonna spread rumors, at least get it right.” I turned and started walking. I was pissed, and I was seriously ready to slap him. I hate having all my business out in the street. I wasn’t ready for my girls to know about Darien, but I guess I had to now thanks to big mouth Li’l T.
“Yo-yo-yo. Hey, Kenisha. I was only playing with you, girl,” he said. “Come on, Kenisha. Kenisha!” He called out, but I just kept walking. Diamond and Jalisa started walking behind me.
“Girl, don’t worry about Li’l T. You know he’s just acting stupid like he always do,” Jalisa said.
“Seriously, he just always need something to say. You know how he is,” Diamond added.
They caught up with me as I slowed down. “Fine, we kissed. Terrence doesn’t know ’cause he’s never around anymore. Come on, let’s go in.” We stopped in front of Ursula’s house. I climbed the front steps. The door was open, but I rang the doorbell anyway. Ursula’s mom came to the door. “Hey, come on in. Just go down the hall. Ursula and Darien are downstairs.”
“Thanks and happy birthday,” I said. We walked to the back of the house and went downstairs. The go-go music, Washington’s twenty-year old homestyle sound, was loud and the place was already packed. There was actually an MC on the mic spinning the eclectic freestyle mix of hip-hop and funk. It was music we’d danced to for years, so we were already loving it. We walked along the packed dance area. It was dark, so I couldn’t see much of anything, but I heard my name called. I turned. It was Ursula.
“Hey girl, I was wondering what happened to you,” she said.
“I’m here. Wait, these are my girls,” I said and turned as Jalisa and Diamond moved closer. “Jalisa and Diamond, this is Ursula.”
They greeted each other and then this guy came up and asked Diamond to dance. It always happened like that. Diamond was too pretty. She had this China doll thing going on. As soon as she walked away, another guy came up and asked Jalisa to dance. When she left, Ursula and I started talking.
“Hey, you look good,” someone said, behind me.
I turned knowing the voice. It was Darien. “Hi,” I said smiling. Damn, he looked good too, but I didn’t say that.
“You want something to drink,” he asked.
“Nah, I’m okay,” I answered. I make it a serious rule never to take a drink from anybody and never to walk away from my drink to dance. People are crazy out here. They spike drinks with date rape drugs, ecstasy, crack, meth and just plain drugs, just to have fun. I don’t think it’s funny. So anyway, he asked me to dance.
We danced a few times then a slow song came on. Mostly everybody started pairing up, but I saw Diamond and Jalisa on the side talking to Ursula and two other girls I recognized from around the way. I started walking toward them when Darien held my hand and pulled me back. I bumped right into him. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to pass out. All of a sudden it got hot in there.
So we were slow dancing and he moved closer, trying to grind his body against mine. Okay, I dated LaVon, I know when a guy is trying to grind on me. “I’m all sweaty and hot, I gotta sit down,” I said. That’s always my standard back off line. I eased back.
“Come on, baby. Dance with me,” he said, still holding my hand.
“We did just dance, but I’m just tired now, that’s all. It’s hot in here,” I said, then started fanning my face with my fingers. The modest crowd had swelled to full capacity. I could barely move to get back to where my girls were standing.
“A’ight, then why don’t you come outside with me?”
He was smiling, and I was smiling. I was tempted. “A’ight.”
thirteen
Caution: Merging Drama Ahead
“The devil you know is much scarier than the devil you don’t. But when you’re surrounded and they all look alike, how do you tell which devil is which? Forget the pitchfork and horns thing. They don’t do that anymore. Look closer.”
—MySpace.com
We went toward the back door. My girls and I called ourselves getting to the party fashionably late, but people were still arriving as Darien and I were walking out. It was obvious the word was out that this was the place to be tonight. I looked back once seeing my girls talking and laughing, so I figured it was okay to go with Darien for awhile. After all, I was just stepping outside to get some fresh air.
He was holding my hand and guiding me through all these people lined along the walls. He’d say a few words to somebody, laugh at something somebody else said in his ear, or just shake hands or bump fists. But all the time we were walking, he never thought about introducing me to anyone. They all looked at me like they knew something. Wrong. They didn’t know anything. Somebody handed him a can of beer. He took it then kept walking.
As soon as we hit the back door, the smell of stank, sweat, cigarettes and marijuana was thick. It was like cutting through a funk-fog. My stomach lurched, but I kept walking. There was a mild argument then scuffle behind me. I saw people looking back, but I didn’t bother. I just, for real, needed fresh air now and kept on walking.
“Darien, Darien, wait.”
He turned, I did too. Cassie was hurrying outside behind us. I smiled seeing her, but she just looked at me strange like I was totally out of place or something. “Hi, Cassie,” I said.
“Oh, hey,” she said to me then focused her attention on Darien. “Umm, Darien, I need to ask you something,” she said.
“What?” he asked, with attitude.
“Umm, it’s umm,” she began then paused and looked at me. I knew she wanted me to leave, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Besides, Darien was still holding on to my hand. “Umm, never mind. I’ll ask you later.”
He instantly turned and continued walking. I followed.
“What was all that?”
“Who knows? Cassie’s a joke,” he said, dismissively.
“No she’s not, she’s nice. We walk home from school sometimes. I like her.”
“Girl, you don’t even know her,” he affirmed.
I thought about what he said. He was right, I didn’t really know her, but she seemed nice to me, so I guess that was okay. But then again, my ex-friend Chili seemed okay to me too, and look how all that turned out. Anyway, she was okay with me so, whatever. But I wondered why he would just come right out and diss her like that. “So don’t you think you need to find out what she wants?” I asked.
“I know what she wants, and she’s gonna have to wait.”
I opened my mouth to ask what he was talking about but then changed my mind. So we finally moved away from everybody, got outside and started walking down the alley. I saw his car parked on the street just as the alley stopped. He held his keys, the
car beeped and the headlights turned on. I stopped. “Hold up, wait,” I said, stopping. He kept going but stopped when I shook my hand loose from his. “I’m not going for a ride with you.”
“I thought you wanted some air,” he said.
“Hello, this is air, Earth Science 101,” I joked.
“Air conditioning,” he said. “We’re not driving anywhere. I just thought you wanted air conditioning to cool off.”
All right, it was hot, even for the end of October, it was hot. “Fine, but I’m not going anywhere. My girls are still back at the house, and I’m not leaving them.”
He opened the door and we got in. He turned on the engine then the air conditioner. Cool air streamed out of the small vents on the dashboard. He adjusted the center vents to blow directly on me. “Okay, trust me now?” he asked.
I did feel kind of silly. I just settled back and relaxed feeling the cool breeze on my damp body. It felt nice. I watched as he pulled a small vial out of his pocket. “What’s that?” I asked. He tipped a small amount of white powder onto his baby finger then held it to one nostril and inhaled quickly. He tossed his head back and coughed then he closed his eyes sated. I watched in amazement. I’d never seen anyone get high before.
“You want some?” he asked, finally looking at me.
I shook my head. He had to be kidding. All the things I know about drugs, hell no. “Nah, I’m good,” I said feeling nervous for some reason.
“Come on. Try it. It’ll loosen you up,” he cajoled.
“I’m loose enough,” I said, watching as he repeated the action with his other nostril. I looked away. It was time to get out of there. “I’m ready to go back.”
“Nah, come on. Hang with me.” I heard the sound of a tab being pulled back. He opened the beer and offered me a sip. “Nah, I don’t drink,” I said, “I don’t like the taste of it.”
“You ever try it,” he asked. I shook my head no. “Then how do you know if you don’t like it?”
“I tasted champagne before. My mom used to drink Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin and Opus One all the time.”
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