by Deanna Chase
Taking a second to compose herself, she gripped the corner of the metal shelf and counted slowly to ten, stilling the chaotic thoughts running rampant through her mind. She’d let him talk. Tell her everything. Tonight when she got in bed, then she’d have her freak-out. But not here, not in front of him.
She turned on her heel.
“Do you swear that everything you’re telling me right now is the truth? You’re not trying to make an idiot of me, tell me something that isn’t true and laugh when I start to believe it?”
“Princess, I don’t have the time for that.” He shook his head, shoving his fingers through his thick hair.
Okay, he sounded sincere, and she really wanted to understand. Being braver than she’d ever been in her life, Flint returned to his side and sat back down.
“Tell me,” she whispered.
“I should tell you”—he eyed her—“that I’m not Nephilim. I don’t have enough demon blood in me to be like them.”
“Then what are you?” She was trying so hard to understand, but so much of this was confusing. “Are you human?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m what’s known as a berserker.” He paused.
She flicked her thumbnail against her teeth. “And that means?”
Cain blew out a heavy breath. “It means I’m worse than a guy on the juice. Anger triggers the demon blood. It makes me volatile and edgy. I can control it enough to not have a freak-out in school, but my eyes are the first things to change. They turn red when the blood pumps harder.”
Flint couldn’t help but look at his eyes now. They were a rich, startling blue. She really loved his eyes.
“Then why did you start taking them off around me?”
His smile was self-conscious. “Because I don’t feel angry around you.”
“You don’t?” Her heart flipped. “What do you feel?”
“Amused.”
She huffed and he grinned, then grabbed her hand and started playing with the pad of her thumb again. Flint sucked in a sharp breath at the heated contact.
“I’m glad you find me so amusing,” she said, voice grown breathy with excited nerves.
He shrugged.
“So you’re just a raging ball of anger then, huh?”
“Most times. But it’s more than just the rage. The anger fuels my adrenaline; it makes me stronger, faster.”
“And you can smell me?”
He nodded.
“So if you can smell me, can you smell them?”
Frowning, he asked, “Them? The hive? You smell them?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “So does Abel. They smell like sour milk.”
Cain’s fingers stilled on her wrist and all she could think was she wanted him to keep touching her.
“Or at least I think they do. Today…” She sighed, wondering why she was telling him all this. “All I smelled in the school was sweet milk. I’m so hungry. I feel this constant need to eat now, and I’m scared.” Flint touched her canine. “Is it possible that when she bit me I turned into one of them?”
His thumb resumed running along the inside of her wrist, and her stomach fluttered harder.
“No, I don’t think so. From what I know about them, their queen is the one who ultimately turns them.”
Flint turned toward him, crossing her leg in front of herself. “The queen? You called them the hive earlier. So they live underground or…”
“No.” He pursed his lips. “We’re not really sure where they live. They move constantly, but I do know it’s aboveground. Each time we’ve found a lair, it’s been in an abandoned factory or shelter. But we always get there too late. They’re gone. We find stragglers now and then, but they never talk.”
She thinned her lips. “So those kids at school?”
He nodded. “Are hive.”
“Why don’t you ask them?”
Cain’s chuckle was sarcastic. “They won’t tell. Those kids at school, they’re called drones. They do the will of the queen—she tells them to jump, they ask how high. She tells them to kill, they ask how many. She tells them not to talk, they’ll die laughing in your face. But even if I could break them, I can’t touch them.”
“Why not?”
“The Order.”
“This is all really confusing. There’s”—she finger-quoted—“the Order, the Nephilim, hive, also known as Aswang, berserkers… am I forgetting anything?”
“You’ve just barely begun to scratch the surface, princess. My world is dark and nasty.”
“Then how come if there’re so many monsters out there, this is my first time ever learning about it?”
“Because that’s the way the Order designed it.”
“And who exactly are they again?”
“You have to swear that whatever I tell you now, you won’t tell anyone else.” His eyes were hard, sincere. Almost like he was worried.
“My dad?”
“No one, princess. This knowledge, your kind is not supposed to have it. If anyone finds out, it would be…”
She glanced down at their clasped hands. “Why are you telling me this, Cain?”
His finger grazed her jaw, forcing her to glance up. “Because you’ve seen too much. I’m not going to pretend like you didn’t see what you saw. I can guarantee that the Order is already keeping an eye on you thanks to that bite. If they find out you’ve been changed, they’ll send someone to take care of you.”
Her heart clenched, and terror must have squeezed through her eyes because he shook his head. “Mostly they leave us alone if we live by their rules. Follow the code. But if you step out of line, they will put you down.”
“But that’s not fair. I don’t even know the code, what if I’ve already stepped over?”
Flint mentally catalogued everything she’d done today. Aside from acting like a pig, there hadn’t been much difference.
He shook his head. “Have you told your father? Abel? Anybody?”
“No. So Abel is human? He’s not like you?”
Cain continued to mess around with her hand. Now he was running his thumb along the webbing between her thumb and finger.
“He’s as human as you at this point.”
“So he will be like you?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, his voice sounding grim. “But until he is, we can’t clue him in.”
“But he suspects something, Cain. I talked to him this morning. He knows that woman didn’t work at the circus.”
“Look, that’s the Order’s policy. Humans, no matter if they won’t be for much longer, can’t know. He may have seen something, but if we all deny it, human nature will insist it was all in his head and he’ll dismiss it. Human psych one oh one.”
The quiet hush of the bunker increased her anxiousness. It wasn’t hard to imagine some scary boogeyman listening in while they talked, ready to slit her throat the second it deemed she “knew too much.”
“So why are you telling me this and not Abel?”
Flint knew she sounded like a broken record, but if he was willing to let Abel believe a lie, why would he risk so much to tell her?
“Because Abel is protected within the circus. Almost everyone working there is a monster. If bad things come, we’ll take care of them. But you don’t have that. You belong to the world where we don’t exist. You could see the danger signs and never know it. I want you to be aware so you can guard yourself.”
A part of her had hoped he’d say it was because he was secretly in love with her, but Flint knew better. She released his hand.
“Fine, makes sense. So who’s the Order and what do they look like?”
Cain settled his elbows on his knees when he leaned forward. “As far as what they look like, it’s not a cult. They don’t all have bloodshot eyes like the hive. They’re regular-looking people. A human watch group. They’ve known about our existence for as long as I can remember. Adam tells me they’ve been around longer than he has.”
She snorted. “He doesn’t look much older th
an thirty.”
“He’s over a thousand.”
The way he said it, so deadpan, she knew he wasn’t lying. To think of that hot (slightly terrifying) man as that ancient was just weird. “Wow.”
He nodded.
“Are you immortal too?”
“Nah.” He glanced at her. “Berserkers are the offspring of a Neph and human match. Like I said before, there’s not a lot of demon blood in us. Even a little can completely alter the strands of human DNA, but it’s not enough to make me exactly like him. We live longer than humans, maybe two hundred years or so if we don’t get killed first.”
“So how old are you?”
He smiled. “I’m only eighteen, princess. I wouldn’t be in school otherwise.”
She laughed, relieved she wasn’t dealing with someone old enough to technically be her grandfather. That was the only part about Twilight that had always skeeved her out.
Cain turned to her, his look tender. And she couldn’t deny that it was doing crazy things to her insides. Made her want to melt into a puddle, laugh incoherently, and then kiss him.
She bit her lip.
“So why do you guys fear humans? What that woman did to me, what you say you can do. We can’t do any of that.”
“Way Adam put it, thousands of years ago, humans discovered that not only were the legends real, but they were even worse than the stories. A group of monks made it their life’s mission to find out”—he finger-quoted—“the truth.”
“And what is that truth?”
Now he looked nervous, which was crazy, because not once since she’d known him had he ever looked nervous.
His jaw muscle tensed. “That we each have weaknesses.”
She didn’t ask, but God, the question was burning a hole in her tongue. So she asked something else instead. “So they figured them out?”
Nodding, he crossed his booted foot over his knee. “Yes.”
Flint waved her fingers at him. “So you all have the same weaknesses?”
His brow dropped. “No. It’s different for each of us. For a demon, it’s learning their true name. For a vampire, it’s holy relics. Shifters”—he shrugged—“the moon cycle.”
“And berserkers?” She hadn’t meant to ask, but the forbidden had always been too tempting for her to ignore.
Rubbing his palms on his jeans, he flexed his jaw. “We’re more human than the rest. For us, it’s the link to our humanity.”
She cocked her head, still not fully grasping it.
Cain paused so long she worried he wouldn’t tell her. “It’s hardest for them to learn our weaknesses. That’s why we often travel with the Neph who created us. We’re harder to control. Of all the monsters out there, the Nephs are the only ones who swore an oath of fealty to the Order. We work with them. We’re basically their lackeys. They tell us to put down a group and that’s what we do. We’re the ones that keep humans ignorant of the creatures that live next door. But the Neph don’t like being controlled. Many choose to mate with a mortal so they can have a berserker to do the dirty work. “
“What makes you guys so special that the Order hasn’t figured out your weakness?”
He inhaled, pinning her with a hard stare, and she could almost imagine the thoughts floating through his head. Whether to trust or not, how much to tell and how much to keep secret.
Flint was still amazed he was telling her any of this. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he actually liked her enough to bother.
“Our humanity,” he finally said. “We feel more than the rest. We want, desire, need… and whatever calls us the strongest, that’s our weakness.”
She could have heard a pin drop, it’d grown so silent. They barely knew each other. And most of the time it was nothing but “I hate you” being flung from her mouth. No way she was his weakness.
But that didn’t mean a part of her didn’t wish she was.
“Do you have a weakness?” Flint couldn’t believe she’d asked it.
He grew very still, just looking at her, and his eyes were a deep, deep blue, his irises nothing but a pinprick of inky black. But then she saw them change, glow a dull red, and her heart leaped into her throat.
“No,” he said, “I don’t.”
Shaking, feeling as if she were walking in a dream, she heard herself say, “Oh.” Terribly disappointed, she cleared her throat. “So what’s going to happen now, Cain? Will more hive jump me at school? Home?”
He shook his head. “Part of the treaty with the Order is that monsters can’t engage the humans in settings that will reveal us. If we do, we’re exterminated. So far the hive has stuck to the rules.”
“What are they after?” She rubbed her neck.
“Don’t know. That’s why we were sent here.” He leaned back again. “We know the hive have been kidnapping people.”
“Your mom told me about a serial murderer, was that them?”
He shrugged. “Probably. Can’t be sure. We don’t know what the hive’s doing or why they’re doing it. We do know they’re killing humans and getting sloppy.”
“So we go to school with hive, but you can’t do anything to them?” She gave him a confused look.
“Not on school grounds.” He forked his fingers through his hair, and she grinned when a hank of it spilled over his eye. “The second they leave campus, they’re gone. Fast as I am, strong as I am, I can’t get a trace on them. I’ve dealt with vampires before, but there’s something about them that makes them difficult to track. The few I’ve found have been following you.”
“And again it comes back to me. I wish I knew why.”
“Yeah.” His lips thinned. “So do I.”
She frowned. “So they won’t attack me in my home?”
“I’m not saying they won’t, princess, only that by the rules they shouldn’t. But you were attacked in my circus, which is as screwed up as it gets. That guard must have known she wouldn’t leave there alive. Doesn’t make sense,” he growled.
“I’m home alone most nights, Cain.”
His nostrils flared.
Remembering the slumber party, her lips turned down in a frown. “That night Janet and Rhiannon stayed over, I saw Rhi… do something. What is she? Is she just like you?”
Because she was pretty sure now that it hadn’t been a hallucination.
“No, they’re called kanlungan. Killing shadow.”
Her fingertips immediately went cold.
He must have noticed her reaction. “Did you see her kill?”
Nodding slowly, remembering each horrifying detail as if it’d just happened, she couldn’t speak.
Cain squeezed her thigh and the touch made her insides burn.
“This is a lot to digest. We should stop.”
Numb, she nodded. There was still so much she didn’t understand, so many more questions to ask, but at this point she wasn’t sure she’d retain more anyway. Her brain was having a terrible time processing the duality of her life—one that was normal and safe and boring, and the other one that crawled with monsters and creatures that defied belief.
“I have to go home,” she said.
“You shouldn’t stay alone anymore.”
She laughed. “I don’t know where you expect me to go!”
“I could send someone to guard you.”
Flint shook her head. “No. I don’t want a babysitter.”
“Then you’re staying at the circus.”
“My father—”
Cain still hadn’t moved his hand from her lap.
“Won’t know. He’ll be at the circus working. He has no idea what you’re doing in those hours he’s gone. You stay at the circus the nights he works.”
“He’ll know.”
He shook his head. “Not if you’re returned before he gets home. But the nights he doesn’t work, I will send someone to guard you. Right now you’re the only lead I’ve got to finding the hive.”
It sucked to hear that the only reason he was so concerned with
her safety was because for whatever reason she was a beacon for the hive.
Before she knew it, they were headed back to Cain’s car.
They drove to her home in silence. She lifted a brow when she realized that he’d not asked for directions.
“So what now?” she asked when he parked in front of her unit.
His finger was on her face, making her shiver at the hot contact. “I’m going to get Eli and Seth to find out what’s going on with you. When your dad goes to work tonight, you tell him you want to go with him. Bring a small bag.”
It was all so methodical, like he was giving her a lecture, not like he cared at all.
“Fine.” She turned her face and grabbed the door.
“Princess,” he said softly.
She looked over her shoulder.
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“I’ll see you tonight, Cain.”
She grabbed her book bag and walked to her apartment, feeling as if the weight of the world were on her shoulders. Looking at the world through different eyes, everything looked more frightening, less vibrant. Where before there’d been color, now there was differing shades of gray.
Who’d believe her anyway?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Eating dinner with her father was the hardest thing she’d ever done. Even though she was ravenous and ate three heaping plates of pasta, she couldn’t tell him anything. Not why she was pigging out, not why she was so clumsy tonight, dropping her fork and spilling her drink, and not that he should pack up his things and get out of there. As fast and far as possible.
But as much as she wanted him gone for his own safety, there were no thoughts whatsoever to her doing the same.
“You okay, Flinty?” He eyed her empty plate.
Stomach still not full, she sighed and pushed her plate away. “Fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.” He glanced at his watch and sighed. “Flinty, baby, something’s wrong.”
She shook her head, biting her lip. There would have been a time, not long ago, she’d have been overjoyed to have her father actually worrying about her. Giving him the biggest smile she could, which wasn’t much, she shrugged.