I chew my lip. I’m not sure. Does he need me? Does he want me?
“Stay,” Noah says, holding my gaze. He looks like he’s about to fall over so I just nod and move closer, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady him. He leans down and rests his head on mine briefly, breathing in.
“Thanks, guys,” he says again and Matt and Annika get back in the car.
“No problem! You kicked butt today!” Annika says and we all smile because she got the phrase right for a change.
Noah and I make slow progress back to his room but when we get there I’m again unsure what to do with myself. He flops back on his bed. His color looks a little better at least.
“Should shower,” he says, opening one eye at me. I blush. I can’t really help him with that.
“And talk,” he adds. I nod helplessly. I don’t know when I’ve last been this quiet. His mouth quirks as if he’s wondering the same thing. “And eat soon, I guess. Since my stomach stopped clenching.”
“I can get you something!” I spring up because it would give me something to do.
He smiles faintly. “’Kay. Thanks. Can you find me like….” He pauses, brow furrowed, and I can see how much effort everything is. “Mountains of food?” I nod eagerly. “And I’ll shower and meet you back here?”
“Okay.” I smile a little because I’m finally starting to relax. “Back soon.”
When I get back to his room I let myself in quietly and then pause to study the scene before me, wishing it were a screenshot I could capture and keep. I take a deep breath because when I see him again it’s like hitting a reset button. It’s as if something inside me goes click.
Noah’s crashed out on the bed again, this time face down and still damp. He’s wearing only briefs, as if he only got that far before he ran out of energy. And he’s fast asleep.
I creep closer to confirm—and to get a better look because Noah seems to get sexier every day. I’m not sure how that works, but splayed out in this half-naked abandon he’s a lot of eye candy. I want to smooth a hand down his long lean back, trail a finger down the hard muscles of his legs. But he’s asleep and that seems pervy so I just put a sandwich on his nightstand and squeeze into a corner of his bed so I can keep one hand in light contact while he rests.
I get a lot of work done, reading some homework on the tiny screen of my phone, answering emails, and evading our curious friends.
Annika: you two coming to the cafeteria for dinner?
Me: he’s still sleeping.
Annika: he’s sleeping or you’re “sleeping”?
Me: SLEEPING!
Annika: ;)
After dinner I hear from Lani too. Back at the suite. Where are you? How’s Noah?
Me: SLEEPING!!
Lani: you sound frustrated ;)
Gah! Too many winky faces!
I must have made some sound because Noah’s head turns toward me and his eyes are open.
“You’re here.” He moves slowly, turning and hoisting himself up on a pillow. “Ouch,” he says, flinching and rubbing one hip.
I flinch too, in empathy. I can’t help it. “Bad?”
He nods, then pauses, then shakes his head. “Tolerable.”
“Your sandwich is over there.” My voice quavers. This is so awkward.
He glances at me, then zeroes in on the sandwich, reaching for it. “You’re an angel.”
“Some bring blessings. Others bring sandwiches.” I marvel at the speed with which that sandwich is disappearing. “There’s more in the bag.”
“You ate?” He pauses in his scarfing.
I nod. “While you slept.”
“How long?”
I’m amused by the economy of his speech. It’s as if he doesn’t have enough energy for unnecessary words. “It’s 8 p.m.”
His eyes widen. “Shit.”
I shrug. “S’okay.”
He chews some more in silence, watching me until I lower my eyes and flush. He takes up so much space on the bed.
“I should have said something sooner.” His voice is low and it sends little tremors through my body.
My eyes dart to his. They’re warm and dark and so dear. “What something?”
“That I was in love with you.”
The tremors are full on shakes now and I grab a pillow to have something, anything as an anchor.
“Holl?”
I drop my flaming face and hide behind my hair. “I should have realized,” I mumble.
“Yeah. Everyone else did.”
I glance up at him, startled, but he’s smiling. He reaches out with one hand and tangles his fingers with mine.
“Sorry,” I sigh, relaxing a little. “I can be a blockhead. You sure you want me anyway?” I sound anxious because I’m anxious.
“Yeah. I’m sure.” He pulls me closer so I’m leaning against him and I’m reassured by the contact. He’s so warm. I rub my head against his shoulder and he runs a hand through my hair, which is probably a wild mess.
“I’m sorry if you thought all I wanted from you was sex.” I flush again and squirm a little. This is hard. “That wasn’t…. It isn’t true. You know that, right?” I flush again because I remember the vocabulary lesson Lani gave me. Time to man up. I shift so I can face him better. “I love you.”
There!
Noah’s expression lights up and he presses a too-quick kiss on my mouth. “I kind of knew that, but I really like hearing it anyway.”
He looks at me sharply. I nod, feeling sheepish. “I guess it’s okay to be treated like a sex object every once in a while….” His voice trails off, his eyebrows raised.
I think I’m still blushing and I’m not sure why. We’ve had franker conversations than this one, but this feels more intimate, more emotional. I try to pull myself together.
“Umm? Is that a hint? You know I’m not good with subtlety, right?”
He laughs. “Yeah. I got that. I’m too tired for sexy times now anyway so we’ll have to wait.” His face goes serious. “I’d like you to stay with me though.”
And it’s weird that this is harder for us than all the hours we’ve spent as friends or lovers. This relationship stuff. We’re both a little nervous, a little uncertain.
“I’d love to,” I say. And I mean it.
21
Noah
I panic the next morning when I see Holly’s gone. Where are you???
My room. Come over for dinner?
What does that mean?? That’s hours away! How bout now?
Classes! Later. We’re going public. You’re coming here.
It takes me a while to answer that. I’m both gratified by the invitation (because she knows what I need now) and nervous (because she knows what I need now). I sometimes get the feeling around Holly that I should be careful what I wish for. So I try not to overthink this.
Coming? I ask hesitantly.
Outlook good. 7PM!
My brain stalls for a moment and I remember overthinking is my thing.
Did you know that of the 20 possible Magic 8 ball responses 10 are positive? The other 10 are neutral or negative. So the odds are NOT even!
A pause follows this burst of text vomit.
Noah, are you nervous?
It is decidedly so.
I keep staring at my phone while I wait for her response. I should get moving. I have classes this morning too and there are no automatic excused absences just for running a marathon.
Don’t be.
I force myself out of bed, despite my screaming muscles. My legs ache. I put my feet on the floor gingerly, testing that out. And whoa, standing up is not fun.
OK, I text back, grimacing. I have other things to worry about right now. Like walking.
See you at 7! Then a few minutes later. Love you!
That lights me up. Because she heard me then too—when I admitted I needed to hear the words. Because she’s the best. Giddiness washes over me. Or at least I hope it’s giddiness and not just lightheadedness from being on my f
eet. I text her back quickly:
<3
When Holly opens the door to her suite later that evening I’m tongue-tied. For me, dressing up means finding some jeans that actually fit me and putting on a clean white shirt. Dressing up for Holly seems to mean a sleeveless dress in some silky material that I instantly want to check out. It’s not what anyone would call skimpy but it doesn’t exactly hide Holly’s gorgeous body either, which is a little inconvenient at this moment. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t tuck in the shirt after all. I hesitate in the doorframe, pushing up my glasses with one hand.
“Hey.” I actually look at my scuffed shoes and shuffle my feet. Awesome.
She throws herself at me, arms twining around my neck and I grunt from the impact. She smacks a kiss on my mouth and disengages before I can even respond, grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me inside, slamming the door behind us.
“Hey everyone!” She sings out to the living room. “This is my boyfriend Noah!”
I blink while laughter erupts around the room. Ah, Holly!
“Pleased to meet you,” Lani says, suppressing a smile. Next to her on the sofa Kyle stretches his arms out, a beer in one hand, and lets out a loud sigh.
“I might be having second thoughts around now, man.” He looks at me and I shrug helplessly. I already know what I’m getting into.
“Give them a break, Kyle!” Matt glances over from where he and Annika are setting the table. They’ve covered the table with a sheet and dragged it away from the wall so it can seat six.
“Sorry—don’t mind me!” Kyle looks rueful.
“We never do!” Holly shoots back. She gives me a little push forward and scurries back into the kitchen. “Want a beer?” she calls back to me.
“Nah. I’ll get myself some water though.” I follow her into the kitchen, feeling a little like I’ve stumbled into some twilight zone. So Holly and I are officially dating now and that means…. I watch her move around the small space, opening and closing drawers and cabinets. As soon as her back is turned I lean in, sweeping her wild, tumbling red curls aside, and press a kiss against her neck.
“You look beautiful in that dress.”
She tilts her head to give me more access and lets out a breathy little sound, but the heels she’s wearing make her tall enough for her soft parts to rub against my hard parts and I have to tear myself away. After helping myself to a glass of water, I almost trip over my own feet retreating to the living room, then collapse onto a sofa.
“Dinner!” Holly calls out a few minutes later, reappearing with a huge pot of food.
“I didn’t know you could cook,” I say as we pull out the odd assortment of chairs they hunted up and sit down.
“Of course! I’m from the Bay Area, food capital of the world!” She spoons chili into each bowl as we pass around rice, sour cream, grated cheese, and minced cilantro.
“The world?” Annika says skeptically. She takes a careful taste off her spoon. “Hmm. This is pretty good.”
“I know! And I even made it with meat for you guys. We make it vegetarian at home.”
“You going home for Thanksgiving?” Kyle asks, his mouth half full of food. He swallows. “Lani says Hawaii’s too far so she’s coming home with me. Not that we cook.” He gives Lani an apologetic look.
“I don’t care!” she insists.
“Home’s too far for me too so I’m going to Matt’s. But Thanksgiving isn’t a thing for me anyway.” Annika reaches for the bowl of tortilla chips.
“It will be now. It’s a big deal at my house—five kinds of pie, all the cousins, football, the parade on TV, Black Friday. The whole shebang,” Matt says, tipping backwards in his chair.
Annika looks him over, smiling. “What’s a shebang?”
“Aww! You’re adorable. C’mere!” He pulls her face closer with one arm and drops a kiss on her mouth, grinning. Annika practically purrs.
Lani rolls her eyes. “She knows what shebang means, Matt! She’s totally playing you.”
Kyle stifles a laugh as we all turn to Annika, who blinks in a perfect imitation of innocence.
Matt’s eyes narrow on her. “Anni!”
She lifts one shoulder. “It’s fun!” She pauses. “And so easy!” They descend into more flirtatious fighting.
“Well, Thanksgiving’s a big deal at my house too and I’m going home!” Holly announces loudly, trying to get us back on track. “Noah, you should come along.”
Holly’s on a roll now—a steamroller, that is. “Maybe I can visit you for Christmas! I really want to meet Rachel—and by the way, she wants you to call her back about the marathon. I told her how it went but she wants to hear it from you.” She passes around seconds of the chili, which really is amazingly good.
“Wow.” I’ve been too busy filling up to say much but I’ve got to get her to slow down a little. “I don’t know where to start. Let’s see. One, going home with you for Thanksgiving seems like a big deal and we should talk about it another time. By ourselves.” She looks sheepish. “Two, we celebrate Hanukah, not Christmas, so it’s a different…shebang.” I smile at Annika. “Three, what have you told my sister?”
“Oh, I don’t tell her everything,” she clarifies. I glance around the table, alarmed, and everyone else drops their eyes to their plates. “And of course I talk to her—we both love you so we have lots to discuss.”
“Jesus,” Kyle says, shaking his head and exchanging a look with Lani. “Thanksgiving’s coming up and I’m so grateful for so many things right now. Like Lani, and not having siblings, and Lani….”
Holly and I both glare at him and he shuts up.
“I mean it’s different, of course. I mean she’s your sister and I’m…,” she trails off. She does seem to be slowing down some. Finally she grimaces. “Okay. If you’re all done eating maybe I’ll just take my foot out of my mouth and clear the table.” She starts stacking plates and when she gets close I grab her hand.
“Hey.” I need to clarify something. “I don’t mind that you talk to Rachel. You’re my two favorite people in the world. I’m glad you get along.” I let her go and I’m rewarded with an extra bright smile.
“That’s why you’re the best,” she whispers before moving into the kitchen.
We all clear and clean up together, blasting music and arguing about playlists. I’m aware of Matt and Annika talking politics in the background. And I hear Kyle and Lani comparing notes on the ballet they saw yesterday.
But mostly I’m hyperaware of Holly and her presence in the small room and all the occasions when we brush against each other or exchange a look. When we all move into the living room I edge closer to stand behind her until I can wind my arms around her waist and pull her back against me, resting my chin on the top of her head.
“How are you holding up?” she asks softly, raising her face to mine. I rub my cheek against hers.
“Good. Sore, but okay.” I feel a different kind of ache now. It’s been a very long time. She cuddles into me, covering my hands at her waist with her own, and it feels good to be together so simply and easily.
“Hey, time to go!” Lani announces. She disappears into her room and returns with a backpack. Annika grabs for her coat.
“Wait, you’re all leaving?” I raise my eyebrows as this sinks in. I glance over at Holly, impressed by her advanced organizational skills. She flushes a little and pretends innocence.
Matt pauses by the door. “I need to check in with my mom’s campaign tonight. Tomorrow’s a big day for her.”
Crap, I forgot all about her re-election. Now I feel guilty. “She’s expected to keep her Senate seat though?”
“Yeah, there shouldn’t be any surprises but still—”
“You voted?” I ask.
He smiles. “Mailed in my absentee ballot last week.”
Kyle helps Lani into her coat and then hands her a pile of scarves. “We’ll get a ride back with Matt,” he says easily, shrugging into his own coat, then standing still while she c
rowds closer and fiddles with his collar. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a couple more handsy than they are. It’s as if they need constant physical contact. Matt and Annika, on the other hand, spar just as constantly. I check and now they’re arguing again about who’s going to drive home.
“Goodnight!” They call out as they jostle each other at the door. “Awesome meal, Holly!” Matt disappears after Annika.
“Yeah. Really awesome. Thanks for cooking.” Kyle raises a hand to us and waits by the door as Lani darts over and drops a kiss on Holly’s cheek then mine.
“See you tomorrow,” she says. “Have fun!” With a wink, she’s gone and Holly and I are alone.
22
Holly
“They’re gone for the night?” Noah murmurs.
I nod, leaning back against him. His arms tighten around me from behind and his mouth moves to my neck. I lean my head back against his shoulder and whimper as his lips skim over my sensitive skin and his thumbs make maddening circles at my hips. I let myself sink into these feelings, both familiar and always new.
“I missed this,” I gasp, raising my arms over my head to pull his head closer.
He makes an incoherent sound of agreement, then the mouth on my neck freezes and I see that his eyes are now glued to my chest as my breasts lift. I take a deep breath, and notice that that doesn’t help. His hands move up, coasting lightly over my ribs, teasing and tantalizing. I shudder and arch toward him, pressing back against his hardness so we both groan. Then with a jerk Noah abandons my neck and presses his face into my hair, kissing the top of my head.
“I missed you,” he says and the emotion in his voice undoes me.
I twist in his arms and pull him closer, searching his eyes. His arms circle me loosely, his hands moving to curve over my butt. I lay one hand on his jaw and stroke the skin roughened with stubble. I pull his head down to lift my lips to his, touching them lightly and he swallows hard. I kiss one corner of his mouth, then the other, then place more kisses along his jaw line.
“Noah,” I say softly.
The Lesson Plan: Extra Credit, Book 3 Page 11