by Korry Smith
“I don’t give a fuck about him,” Alex said, pausing now and then as Sawyer talked. Unfortunately, Sawyer was soft-spoken, and unlike Len, I couldn’t hear his side of the conversation. “I’m not worried. Miguel’s a little bitch. He’s all fucking talk.” Alex let out a heavy and annoyed sigh. “Relax, man. Please. I know what I’m doing. Yeah, that’s what Len said.” He gripped my hand tighter. “We’ll see what happens.”
I could only imagine what Sawyer thought about our life on the road, and the shit storm we continued to cause. Sawyer was quite the level-headed crook. Other than Nyx, he was the one with the cleanest criminal record. I’m not sure how he’d gotten into this life, but he seemed like a guy who could do so much more.
“What?!” Alex’s body stiffened. It startled me, and I raised my head from his back. “Are you fucking kidding? What channel?” He stood up, climbing over me, and grabbing my hand to help me to my feet. Leading me back to our room, he dropped his grip on me and used it to search for the remote. When he couldn’t find it within a nanosecond, his stressed eyes shot to mine. “Where’s the God-damn clicker, Madi?”
It was the first time he’d used such a harsh tone with me, and I froze, not knowing what to do.
“Fuck,” he said, throwing the covers off the bed. The remote went flying and landed on the floor. He grabbed it and turned on the TV. “What channel is CNN?”
“I don’t know,” I said, cautiously approaching him.
Alex continued to click through the channels until he found what he had been looking for, and he swore loudly. “Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!”
My eyes darted to the TV screen, and I nearly lost my footing. The news was airing our faces again, but it wasn’t localized or for a small assault charge. It was nationwide and for something far more severe.
“That motherfucker!” Alex groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Extortion, Sawyer? That’s a fucking felony. I know. I know. Even if I release those pictures, it won’t do shit. It’ll prove his God damn case, and he knows that. How did I not see this one?”
The senator was pleading a heartfelt case, betrayed, and blackmailed by his criminal son. He didn’t even deny the infidelity; he came out with it. He had his beautiful and adoring wife, Lorelei, with her piercing blue eyes by his side. She supported her husband. It broke her heart that her son, the very child she gave birth to, would do this sort of thing to them. They’d given him everything growing up: money, education, support, and love. It didn’t make sense why he would turn on his parents so viciously.
It was ridiculous, and I stood there speechless watching the train wreck as it happened, powerless to stop it.
In the end, Alex underestimated his father. He didn’t realize how the senator would spin this in his favor to get more votes. America loves a scandal. But more disturbing than that, women fawned over a good-looking man with power. If the senator were a fat, ugly guy, the reaction would be different. These reporters, men, and women alike, who were interviewing the senator and gushing on his every word, how many would sleep with him?
Every single one.
“Yeah, just another one of my fucking blunders.” Alex laughed, but it wasn’t out of humor. “Right, I need to stick to petty crime.” He looked over at me and frowned. “Look, I am going to have to call you back. Yeah, she knows. All right, man. Bye.” Hanging up the phone, he came over to me and placed his hands on my face. “Kid, don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
“We can’t run from this,” I said.
“Yes, we can. We need to think for a minute.”
The news played the sixty second clip of Senator Ryan over on a loop. We stood together in silence and watched as the man lied through his teeth. The smoothness of his voice was convincing and hard to not buy into his propaganda, and the media bought it: hook, line, and sinker. The reality of our situation frightened me but pissed Alex off.
“That piece of shit!” A murderous glare in those eyes turned his clear ocean blues into a dark sea. It terrified and aroused me. I’d never seen him this angry, and this violent behavior shouldn’t have turned me on, but it did ...oh, so much. “Fuck you,” Alex hissed, hauling off and putting a hole in the wall. He was aiming for the senator’s face but redirected it at the last second. “FUCK!”
Yep, that was coming out of the security deposit. I needed to defuse Alex before he destroyed the room.
“Okay, it’s time to take it down a notch,” I said and calmly went over to him.
Bowed over panting with his hands resting on his knees, he shook his head. “Fuck.”
My eyes caught a glimpse of red, and I panicked. “Shit, baby! You hurt yourself. Are you okay? Let me see.”
“Yeah, I’m fine!” He held his hand up to halt my approach. “Give me a second to cool down, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, slowly retreating, and sitting down on the bed.
He stared down at his bleeding knuckles, splaying, and wiggling his fingers, making sure he didn’t break them. “I promise you, kid. We’re going to make that fucker regret this.”
“Come here,” I said, grabbing his hand, and taking him over to the bathroom sink. I dampened a washcloth and dabbed it on his open wound. “I don’t think a man who can turn on his son has a conscience. You need a conscience to regret things.”
He chuckled, but it sounded more defeated and tired. “He’ll regret it when we destroy his fucking empire.”
“So, you’re going to release those photos?” I asked.
“I don’t think it’ll help,” he said, gesturing towards the television. “He’ll just twist shit.”
The senator had been downplaying his indiscretions, lying to his wife, making Alex and me look like money seeking thieves, and all the while sitting up in his ivory tower. We needed to make good on our word and destroy him, but Alex was wavering and leaning towards letting that part of our plan fade away.
“Well, if you want to know my thoughts. I think releasing those photos is the best thing to do,” I said. “If nothing, your mom will know the truth and she’ll convince him to drop the charges, you know?”
“Madi, my mom is so high on drugs, I doubt she knows what day of the week it is. I’m not counting on her to do anything for us. It’s you and me. That’s it.”
“What’s the plan then? How do you suggest we get out of this?”
“We’re not getting out of anything. Forget about that.” Alex kept his eyes locked on mine as he changed the course of our life. “We’re going to show everyone how big of a criminal the senator’s son is.”
I glanced down from the intensity of his gaze and turned my attention to his injured hand, wiping away the blood. I tried to sound indifferent. “How do we do that?”
“By doing whatever the fuck we want.”
“Which means what?” I spoke slow and even. “That we stop running? Stop hiding?”
“Not only that, but we go on a crime spree and make ourselves a household name.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. Alex passed his limit of ridiculous things he could say.
Rolling my eyes, I shoved the washcloth into his chest. “You’re crazy. We’ll be caught after the first robbery.”
He shrugged. “Maybe not.”
“Yeah, and maybe you ought to sleep on it,” I said, leaving him at the sink gaping at me.
I’m all for robbing for the fun of it or even out of necessity, but not this way. He was making it a suicide mission. What we needed to do was lay low for a while, or at least, leave the country. We didn’t need to go out there, with the world watching us, flashing our big ass-smiles, and racking up more criminal charges.
The guy must be delirious or high.
Alex followed me, grabbing my arm, and spinning me around to face him. “Tell me why you think this is such a bad idea?”
“It’s the worst idea ever. It’ll never work.”
“Why?”
“Because…” I paused, placing my hands on his cheeks, and forcing him to look at me and pay attention, “Listen, as much
as I want to go out there and raise hell with you, I don’t think it’s the smartest thing we need to be doing right now. We’ve already caused enough trouble. Why continue to push our luck? Stop and think about what you’re suggesting.”
“I’ve thought about it. What I’ve realized is that if I thought we were fucked before, I know we’re really fucked now.”
“Yeah, I know we are. That’s what I am trying to tell you, but you’re not—"
“No, baby, you don’t get the severity of it. Do you know what the prison sentence for extortion is, especially when it involves a US Senator?” he asked, and I shook my head. “Twenty-five years to life, all right? Life! You understand?”
“Then why even bother running? If it’s a done deal, why waste their time and ours?”
“Because if they want us, they’re going to have to fucking catch us first.” He lifted my chin up and kissed me tenderly on my lips. When he pulled away, after effectively stealing my breath and will, there was a devilish flicker behind those eyes. “Which they will, but I figured, fuck it! We might as well have some fun and go out in a blaze of glory.”
What he was proposing was ludicrous, suicidal, but deep down in the pits of sin, so fucking tempting.
“Again, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, but you’re out of your mind.”
“Tell me what you’re worried about? Is it the possibility of going to prison?”
“Yes,” I said, but quickly rethinking my answer.
The very idea of spending the rest of my life behind bars wasn’t appealing, but I would survive it. I had been in worse places. What I wouldn’t survive was separation from Alex. That was what prison promised if the police were to arrest us.
“I mean, no. That’s not the only reason,” I said, covering Alex’s hand with mine. “I’m afraid of losing you, not my freedom.”
“I promise you that I won’t let that happen,” he said.
“But you just told me that…”
“Forget what I said. I promise you now that I won’t let that happen.”
I wanted to believe him, but the odds weren’t in our favor. Ever since that night, I pushed him into stealing that Lamborghini, we’ve been going down this road of self-destruction.
Oh, my God.
That was when it hit me, like a ton of fucking bricks, and I realized that I did this to us. It was me! I caused this by my immaturity and this insatiable need to be badass.
I was selfish. Plain and simple.
“Holy shit,” I said, stumbling backward. “This is all my fault.”
“What?” Alex asked, confused as he watched me fall into a black abyss of guilt. He swooped in to catch me, taking one large stride across the room, and gripping me by the back of my neck. “Listen to me, Madi; this shit is not your fault. I’m the one who caused all of this. Me. Not you.”
The hold he had on me was firm, and the more I tried to pull away to sink further into a self-loathing depression, the tighter he held me.
I shook my head and refused his words to sway my resolve. “But if you never met me, you would be at home with your family right now. You wouldn’t be on the run or have your face on constant rotation in the news.”
“I don’t fucking care about that.”
“I know you don’t, but I do,” I said, shrugging my shoulders with defeat. “I’m the problem.”
“No,” he growled, pressing his forehead against mine. “If you’re the problem, then I’m the problem.”
“But I ruined your life. Why can’t you see that?” I tried to pull away again, but his firm hold on me was unshakeable.
“Hear me, okay?” Alex’s deep and endless blues burned into me as his fingers slowly crawled their way through my hair, sending shivers down my spine. “What I had before you, I could hardly call a fucking life. At best, that shit was just…filler. You, my crazy girl, are the one thing that makes this hell worth living. Don’t you ever doubt that! Do you understand?”
I clutched his shirt, needing to feel him. “I love you.”
He smiled, caressing the side of my face with the back of his hand. “You see, I can’t be that big of a piece of shit if someone like you loves me, right?”
I narrowed my eyes at him and spoke sternly. “You’re not a piece of shit.”
Alex stared at me and chewed relentlessly on his lip ring. My eyes followed his tongue as it peeked out. It was an invitation, and one I was happy to accept. I rose to my tiptoes and threw my arms around his neck, attacking him with all the passion my smallness could muster. He responded in kind, opening his mouth to me.
It never ceased to amaze me how a simple kiss could set my blood on fire; like hot lava flowing through my veins. Everything was set ablaze, and I could never get enough of his mouth and taste.
If I lost this love, my body, mind, and soul would be gone, shattered in pieces, forever.
Alex leaned away, leaving me gasping and chasing after his lips. “You were on board the moment I suggested it, weren’t you?”
“I’m sorry?” I raised an eyebrow, playing coy.
“You make me jump through hoops for the fucking fun of it.”
“I will follow you anywhere,” I said, and my voice cracked, showing how fearful and helpless that made me feel.
His beautiful face turned somber. “Even if it kills us, or worse, lands us in jail?”
“Is that the only options you’re giving me?” I pushed him back towards the bed.
“What other options are there?” Alex didn’t fight me as he willingly fell back on the mattress.
“We get off scot-free and live happily ever after.” Climbing on top to straddle him, I put my lips to his and whispered, “Duh.”
After lying low and letting things cool down for two weeks, we made several copies of the photos to send to various news outlets. The plan of action was simple: Hell-fire was raining in Missouri, and the senator was about to get drenched. It wouldn’t take long for the pictures to circulate within the media. Alex expected to see a news story on it within the next few hours. Soon, those secrets would spread, and the world was going to know who Julian Ryan was.
Including, his loving and drug-addled wife, Lorelei.
Alex had no remorse for his mother. He didn’t care how she was going to take seeing those pictures of her husband for the first time. The years of bible thumping and trying to exorcise the demon out of her boy had left him feeling slighted.
“She found God after her fourth miscarriage,” Alex said, picking up a can of tomato soup and putting it in the basket.
The corner-store up the street from our hotel was the closest thing to a food market within a twenty-mile radius. It had everything you needed to stock up a bomb shelter, plus a spin display rack of souvenir key chains.
“Four miscarriages?” I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. “That’s horrible. How old were you?”
“I think ten or so; I don’t remember. All I know is that my parents quit trying after that. I think that’s why they both resent me so much.”
Alex seemed unaffected by his parent’s lack of love as he scrunched up his nose and sniffed a scented candle. He put it back down on the shelf and looked at me, reading my shocked expression.
“What?”
“They fucking blame you?”
“They didn’t blame me for the miscarriages...at least, I don’t think they did.” He shrugged. “I was a disappointment. They had high expectations of me, and I failed to reach them.” Chuckling, he walked towards the end of the aisle and threw another bag of chips into the basket. “My dad told me that there was something not right with me.” He turned back to me and smirked, tapping a finger to his temple. “Like, I’m fucking crazy.”
I snorted, rolling my eyes.
He wasn’t that far off.
“Anyway, that’s the story about my shitty upbringing.”
It was silly, but I wanted to comfort him and tell him that his parents were wrong. He was a decent person, and he didn’t deserve peo
ple treating him like a monster. They were the real bad guys in this story, not Alex.
“No wonder you turned to a life of crime,” I muttered, following behind him through the aisles.
Alex stopped and turned to me with his hands full of ramen noodles; he dropped them in the basket, adding to the weight. “That’s what my therapist told me. He was always trying to rationalize these urges of mine, but both of you are wrong. Sometimes there isn’t a reason for anything. You are who you are.”
“Yeah,” I said, glancing at the clerk up front.
He was a burly man, who was well over three hundred pounds, with a ZZ Top beard. He was flipping through the glossy pages of a gossip magazine and not paying attention to his two customers in the back of the store.
I turned back to Alex and whispered, just to be safe. “Have you ever killed anyone?”
He quirked an eyebrow at me, tossing in a couple of bottles of water. “Have you?”
“No, not a person, but I did kill my hamster.”
He bit his lip ring, sucking it in between his teeth, and trying not to laugh. “A hamster?”
I nodded.
“And how did you commit this rodent homicide?”
My face flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t have a cage for Petey. So, I just emptied out our towel cupboard and put him in there and closed the door. He ended up eating himself to death on the plywood.”
Alex shook his head. “You’re fucking bullshitting me, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m serious. I would check on Petey, and I thought he got enough air in there, but that wasn’t the cause of death. Gluttony was.” I shrugged. “I didn’t know that they keep eating.”
“Bullshit! Now, I know you’re fucking with me.”
I laughed. “Fine, the circumstances of the death are unclear and embellished, but the facts remain the same,” I paused, my tone grave. “I’m a murderer, Alex.”
“Yeah, well, until you put a pistol to a dude’s face,” he raised his hand and put two of his fingers to my head, mimicking a gun, “and pull the trigger, you’re still considered a killing virgin.”
Pow, I thought as Alex pulled the imaginary trigger and blew me away.