by Kate Hardy
* * *
On Monday morning, when Sophie walked into the kitchen, she handed Jamie’s clean but unironed shirt back to him. ‘It was washable paint. Easy-peasy.’
‘Thank you,’ he said, and his slightly shamefaced expression told her that he knew he’d made an idiot of himself over the messiness issue.
‘So how were the sharks?’ she asked.
‘You were right. They were whales,’ he told her.
She smiled. ‘Good. Now go to work. Sienna and I have stuff to do.’
Funny how easily she’d slipped into a routine. It felt second nature to take Sienna to nursery school before she went to the office, then to pick her up and cook dinner together, to read together and sing and play.
This felt like being part of a family.
Like the life she’d expected to have with Daniel, until he’d dropped his bombshell. Like the life she’d thought to build with Joe—until she’d learned the truth about him. So what was to say this would be third time lucky? With her track record, it’d be third time unlucky. And there was Sienna to consider. The little girl had had more than enough upheaval in her short life. She didn’t need the prospect of more heartbreak.
This was temporary, Sophie reminded herself. And she loved her job. She was happy concentrating on her career and looking forward to going ahead with the new strand to the business, organising weddings abroad.
But, as every day passed, she found herself growing closer and closer to both Sienna and her father. Even though she tried to keep a tiny bit of distance in there, particularly with Jamie, it felt as if it was melting away by the second.
And when on Friday evening he was struggling to come up with ideas of things to do with Sienna at the weekend, how could she refuse to help him?
‘The aquarium’s always a hit with Hattie and Sam,’ she said. ‘They love watching the fish and going through the tunnel to see the sharks. Oh, and the penguins. They’re Hattie’s favourite.’
‘Would you come with us tomorrow afternoon?’ he asked.
She ought to say no. Keep the distance between them. But he needed her help and she couldn’t just turn away. That wasn’t who she was. Besides, she could always get up a couple of hours early to catch up with her own work. Thanks to Jamie lending her two really talented members of his team, everything was going just fine at Plans & Planes. ‘Sure. Provided I get to look at the jellyfish and the sea horses—they’re my favourites.’
‘Deal,’ he said. ‘And I’m paying for your ticket, as I asked you to join us.’
‘Only if I buy us dinner. And that’s non-negotiable.’
‘All right. Thank you,’ he said.
‘I’ll meet you at the front door—say two o’clock?’
‘That’d be perfect,’ he said.
* * *
Outside the aquarium, Sienna greeted Sophie with a squeal and a hug. Jamie’s greeting was rather more restrained, but even so his smile made Sophie’s heart feel as if it had just done a backward somersault.
She was really going to have to keep a tight rein on herself. He’s off limits, she reminded herself. But it felt as if part of her was standing there with her fingers stuck in her ears, saying, ‘La-la-la—I can’t hear you.’
Jamie had already printed out their tickets at home, to save them having to queue up, and they headed for the penguin zone. He’d clearly read up about the creatures, because he said to Sienna, ‘These ones are called Gentoo penguins. And their black and white colouring is camouflage for them.’
‘What’s camoo...?’ Sienna frowned.
‘Camouflage,’ he repeated carefully. ‘It means a special colouring so they look like their surroundings.’
‘But water’s blue, Daddy. Why aren’t they blue, too?’
He smiled. ‘It’s all to do with how light looks under water. The water looks black and the sunlight looks white. So the camouflage means the penguins look like water and sunlight to any big killer whales that might come along and want to eat them.’
Sienna shivered. ‘I don’t like whales. I like penguins.’
‘There aren’t any killer whales here,’ Sophie promised her. ‘But not all whales eat penguins. Some whales just eat fish, like the minke whales.’
‘What’s a minke whale?’ Sienna asked.
‘A very pretty black and white whale. I went to Iceland last summer and I saw minke whales playing in the sea, and they’re beautiful.’ Sophie grabbed her phone and scrolled through it until she found a photograph. ‘Look. I was at the front of the boat and I saw one jump all the way out of the sea and I took his picture—isn’t he beautiful?’
Sophie stared at the picture, her eyes round with amazement. ‘He jumped all the way out of the sea?’
‘Right in front of my eyes. It was amazing,’ Sophie confirmed.
‘Iceland. Would that have been a research trip for your Weddings Abroad project?’ Jamie asked, looking interested.
She nodded. ‘I saw half a dozen brides while I was out there. Apparently it’s very popular to have the wedding ceremony one day, then go out to do photographs the next day, either on one of the black sand beaches or at one of the waterfalls. Can you imagine how amazing it is to have rainbows in your wedding photos?’
‘I like rainbows,’ Sienna said.
‘They’re my favourite, too,’ Sophie said. ‘Rainbows and the Northern Lights. Though obviously you don’t see the Northern Lights in the summer, because you’ve got the midnight sun. And that’s beautiful, too.’
‘Are you going to get married, like Cindy and Jack are?’ Sienna asked.
She’d thought so. Twice. And how very wrong she’d been. ‘Maybe one day,’ she said.
‘Cindy said I could be her bridesmaid. Can I be your bridesmaid, too?’
‘We’ll see, sweetie,’ Sophie said gently. ‘That might be a long time in the future.’
* * *
Jamie saw a flicker of sadness in Sophie’s eyes. That, plus what she’d said to him a while back about not having good judgement where her love life was concerned, made him sure that someone had let her down very badly. And that brief moment of sadness made him want to give her a hug.
Then again, that probably wasn’t a good idea. When she’d given him a hug, it had made all sorts of feelings start bubbling up—feelings he couldn’t afford to have. In his experience, love meant loss—something he never wanted to risk again. And he was going to have to make a real effort not to let himself be drawn to her.
She’d sounded wistful when she’d talked about rainbows in wedding photos. Was that what she’d wanted? But it would hardly be tactful to ask. And he needed to head his daughter off before she asked. ‘Hey, Sienna, do you know what penguins’ wings are called?’ he asked.
‘They don’t have wings. Penguins can’t fly,’ Sienna said.
‘Ah, but they do have wings,’ he said with a smile. ‘Instead of using them to fly, they use their wings to help them swim.’
Swim. He pushed thoughts of Fran away. Nobody was swimming here apart from the creatures who lived in the water. And there wasn’t any coral that he could see.
‘I know—flippers!’ Sienna said.
‘That’s right.’
They watched the penguins sliding down the ice on their bellies and dive into the water.
‘They’re so clever, Daddy,’ Sienna said, her nose practically pressed against the glass as she watched them.
‘They certainly are. Did you know that Gentoo penguins make their nests out of pebbles rather than sticks?’
‘I didn’t know that, either,’ Sophie said. ‘I’ll remember to tell Hattie that.’
They headed through the shark tunnel, and Sienna was fascinated by the sight of the sharks swimming beneath their feet.
‘Did you know some sharks can lose
thirty thousand teeth in their lifetime?’ Sophie asked.
And Jamie thought, Sophie’s full of the kind of facts that children liked. He’d just bet her niece and nephew adored her. He could already see the bond she’d formed with his daughter, and how Sienna looked up to her.
It would be all too easy to fall in love with a woman like Sophie. A woman who’d walked unexpectedly into his life, who was supposed to be his business associate, but who had somehow managed to make him start to feel all the things he’d blocked off since Fran’s death. He’d smiled more in the two short weeks he’d known her than he had in the previous two years. And that made him feel antsy. What would happen next? Where did they go from here? It was full of unknowns.
The next stop was the octopus.
‘Did you know they have three hearts as well as eight arms?’ he asked.
‘And they’re related to a creature you can see in the garden, especially when it’s been a rainy day,’ Sophie added. ‘Can you guess, Sienna?’
The little girl shook her head. ‘Worms?’
‘Nearly,’ Sophie said, ruffling her hair. ‘How about a clue? The creature normally has a spiral shell.’
‘Oh—a snail!’ Sienna said, smiling.
And funny how her smile made his heart squeeze. Not just because it was so like Fran’s, but because she looked happy. And seeing his daughter happy was the best feeling in the world.
They paused in the rock pool area, so Sienna could stroke a starfish and touch an anemone.
‘The nennomy looks like a flower,’ she said.
The mispronunciation charmed him. ‘It’s an anemone,’ he said. ‘Say it after me.’ He broke it down into syllables, and Sienna copied him. And then she went back to her original pronunciation. ‘The nennomy!’
He smiled, not wanting to spoil her fun by lecturing her. ‘It’s pretty.’
The area was really crowded, and somehow he ended up sliding his arm round Sophie’s shoulders. She turned to glance at him, her dark eyes wide and with a slight flush on her cheeks. Right at that moment, he really, really wanted to kiss her. The thought shocked him deeply; he hadn’t felt like that about anyone since Fran.
No way was he going to kiss her in the middle of the crowd, especially with Sienna in front of them. But he had to admit that it was getting more difficult to keep a professional distance between them; and his arm was still round her shoulders when they left the rock pool area. He had to force himself to put a more appropriate distance between them. But then his hand bumped against hers, their fingers tangled together, and for the life of him he couldn’t pull away, even though he knew it would be the sensible thing to do.
He gave her a sidelong glance. From the expression on her face, she was feeling the same way: torn between attraction and trying to be professional. Not wanting to take the risk, and yet wanting it at the same time.
Sienna was walking in front of them and clearly hadn’t noticed a thing, luckily.
Could they do this?
Should they do this?
He didn’t know the answer, but he couldn’t stop holding Sophie’s hand. And she didn’t pull away.
Once they’d seen the displays that Sophie had said were her favourites, the seahorses and the jellyfish, they went to the gift shop.
‘What was your favourite animal here, Sienna?’ Jamie asked.
His daughter’s face was all lit up as she said, ‘The penguins!’
‘Shall we see if we can find a new bedtime story about penguins?’ he asked.
‘Yes, please!’ Sienna looked thrilled. Jamie glanced at Sophie and the warmth and approval in her eyes made him feel hot all over.
While he and Sienna browsed the bookshelves—and picked up a soft, cuddly penguin at the same time—Sophie found a small penguin wearing a red hat with a white bobble and a loop to hang it from a Christmas tree.
‘It’s a bit early yet—I never put my Christmas tree up until the first of December,’ she said, ‘but I’m going to buy you this now so you can put it on your tree when you decorate it, Sienna.’
The little girl was delighted. ‘Thank you! Though I’m too little to decorate the tree.’
Jamie saw the surprise that Sophie quickly masked. Clearly her family had different rules from his. When he had been growing up, his mother had always decorated the tree on her own, and Jamie and his sisters had never been involved. His mother liked the tree to look professional, with everything matching and all the baubles spaced the perfect distance apart. He’d ended up doing the same, and even Fran hadn’t been able to persuade him out of the habit.
Sophie clearly realised she might have made a gaffe and distracted the little girl. ‘Can you help me find a nice present for my niece Hattie and my nephew Sam? Hattie’s the same age as you, and her little brother Sam’s two. What do you think they might like?’
Sophie helped her to find a soft shark for Sam and a colouring book and pencils for Hattie.
‘Perfect choices,’ Sophie said. Though Jamie noticed that she still bought the Christmas tree ornament. Given that Cindy wouldn’t be back by the first of December, he had a feeling that Sophie intended to make some changes to his routine there, too.
They had dinner together at a restaurant on the south bank, a family-friendly place with a nice children’s menu. Sienna chose a quesadilla and a smoothie followed by churros, he and Sophie both opted for a chicken enchilada, and they ordered a bowl of sweet potato fries to share.
When they reached for the fries at the same time and their fingers touched, Jamie felt a frisson of desire all the way down his spine; and he noticed again that Sophie had a slight flush on her cheeks.
It was getting harder and harder to ignore.
Maybe they needed to talk about it. Set out some ground rules. Get things back under control.
‘Come back with us and have a glass of wine with me?’ he asked when they went to the tube station.
She looked slightly wary.
‘You’re not driving. Just one glass of wine. No strings,’ he said. ‘And I’ll call you a cab home.’
She paused for so long that he thought she was going to refuse. But then she nodded. ‘Okay.’
Sienna chattered happily about penguins all the way home.
‘I’ll put Sienna to bed if you don’t mind opening the wine,’ Jamie suggested. ‘There’s a bottle in the fridge.’
Once he’d read the new penguin story to her—twice—he could see Sienna’s eyes drooping. ‘Time for sleep, now,’ he said.
‘Love you, Daddy.’
His heart contracted sharply. For the last two years, he’d been wrapped in his grief and had kept his daughter at a distance. And now he realised how much he’d allowed himself to miss out on. He felt a surge of guilt because he’d let his daughter miss out on it, too. ‘Love you, too, Sienna.’ He kissed her goodnight. ‘Sleep tight.’
When he went downstairs, Sophie was sitting on one end of the sofa, with two glasses and the opened bottle of wine on the coffee table.
‘Thanks for today,’ he said.
‘I enjoyed it, too. I always love going there with my niece and nephew.’
He poured them both a glass of wine and sat next to her. ‘So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?’
‘That we ended up holding hands in the aquarium?’ She blew out a breath. ‘I apologise. It was a mistake.’
Which was the right answer. Now they could go back to being professional and pretending it hadn’t happened.
Except his mouth had other ideas. ‘Was it?’
‘If things were different, then maybe not.’ She looked away. ‘But you have Sienna to think about and you don’t need any complications.’
All true. All perfectly valid excuses. Part of him wanted to take them—but a bigger part of him didn’t.
And if they took this slowly, carefully he could keep his feelings under control.
‘Sienna didn’t notice anything today. And Sienna doesn’t need to know anything right now,’ he said. ‘This could be just you and me. When she’s asleep, or maybe...’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘I can’t believe I’m about to ask you out on a lunch date. I don’t even have lunch breaks.’
‘Exactly. It’s too complicated.’
‘We could try the simple version,’ he suggested.
She shook her head.
But she’d more or less admitted that she felt the same attraction that he did. That in other circumstances she’d consider seeing him. So what was holding her back? ‘Why not?’
She sighed. ‘It’s not you, it’s me. I have hopeless judgement in men.’
‘So you picked the wrong man. It happens.’
‘I spent three years of my life with Dan,’ Sophie said. ‘How rubbish does that make me?’
‘It makes you nice,’ he said, ‘because you see the best in everyone.’ She’d seen something in a man who kept himself safe inside a layer of ice and excuses. And she’d not only seen the best in him, she’d dragged it out, too. He’d resented her for it at times, but he was beginning to see the benefits.
And for Sienna’s sake he’d always be grateful to Sophie for that.
‘More like a naive idiot, where my love life is concerned,’ she said.
He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it briefly and letting it go again to let her know he was on her side. ‘You’re very far from being an idiot. Is Dan the one who took advantage of you?’
‘The first one.’ She took a sip of wine. ‘I met him in my last year at university—at a party—and I really thought he was the one. We moved in together after we graduated, and I thought we were happy. We were both working slightly mad hours, because I was trying to build my career in event management, and he was training to become an accountant so he was working and studying at the same time. He’d done an economics degree but that didn’t exempt him from many exams, so he had to keep going away on some residential course or other.’ She grimaced.