When we come to our section on the bus road, a couple of people are already sitting on the fence. George dumps his bag a few metres away from them and leans backwards against a pole.
He crosses his arms, facing the road. Not looking at me. Everything about his body language is saying leave me alone.
Maybe this is a mistake. George might hate me now. I wipe my palms on my dress. Should I leave him alone? But then I think of what Lucy said. Trust your instincts.
Somehow, it gives me the courage to try.
A couple of year-nine kids are sharing headphones, nodding to the music. But other than them, most people are sitting on the bench seats a short distance away.
I scuff at the ground with a boot, and clear my throat. ‘So … have you asked someone else to go to the movie?’
‘Who else would I ask?’ says George, turning to me with his arms still crossed.
I shrug. ‘The other girl you took on a date last time …’
George shakes his head and he gets this really serious look in his eye. ‘There is no other girl.’
Really? I hold my mouth straight but it wants to curl up at the sides. Good. Never liked her in the first place. ‘Because the thing is, I guess I sort of freaked out and said it all wrong … and made it sound like I didn’t want to go. I’m sorry.’
George’s expression still hasn’t changed, but his eyes are fixed on me as if I’m the only person around.
I swallow and keep going. ‘So, I was thinking, if you want … we could still go as friends?’ No reaction. ‘My shout. To say sorry for being such an idiot.’
George uncrosses his arms. ‘You’re not an idiot, Erin.’
That makes me relax, but not enough to actually smile. Things might be okay between us again.
The bus squeaks to a stop and the door hisses open. Lazily, everyone reaches for their bags. George picks up his backpack and walks towards the line.
I swing my arms nervously, wondering whether or not to follow behind him.
Part way to the bus, George stops and turns. ‘So … I’ll check the times?’ he asks. ‘Saturday afternoon?’
Breathing out, I manage a single nod. ‘Sounds good.’
Our eyes meet, and George smiles. ‘Okay.’
This time, I smile back.
On Saturday afternoon, Briana calls. I’ve already spoken to her about the coffee with Hamish. Turns out she spent the whole time holding her breath, ready to say yes when he asked her out.
As they walked out of the cafe, he pecked her on the cheek, said he’d catch her later and then walked off with his hands in his pockets.
She’s been a mess ever since.
‘Maybe he doesn’t want to ask me,’ groans Briana.
I settle back on my bed. ‘What does Phoebe say?’
‘She reckons he’s going to ask. It’s just a matter of time. But … I don’t know. There were so many moments when he could have asked if he wanted to. So what’s stopping him?’
No idea, as usual. I try to cheer her up. ‘At least you’re getting to know him better, aren’t you? You’re hanging out together. And … even if you’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s not the end of the world, is it?’
‘No,’ Briana sighs. ‘I guess not.’ Then she goes quiet. I can tell that’s not how she really feels, so I try a different line. ‘Well, what if you ask him? Why do you have to wait for him to ask you?’
Silence. ‘I don’t know. It’s more romantic if he asks, don’t you think?’
I guess. ‘Not if you have to spend your life waiting. If you ask, then you get to do it when you want.’
‘What if he says no?’
That makes me think of George. How it must have sounded when I asked so many questions about our date. ‘Maybe that’s why he hasn’t asked you,’ I say. ‘Hamish might be scared that you’ll say no.’
‘You think?’
‘Maybe.’
I can almost hear Briana summoning up the courage. ‘I don’t know. But … thanks.’
‘Any time.’
Her voice brightens. ‘So you’re all set for the movies?’
‘Yeah. Can’t wait,’ I say. And not just because it’s Hero Quest. I’m also glad that George is talking to me again.
‘And you’re sure it’s not just a little bit of a date?’ asks Briana.
‘Nah.’ I shrug my shoulders, even though I’m on the phone. ‘I asked him just as friends, Bri. And I guess it’s better this way …’ I drift off, feeling as if I’m trying to convince myself as much as her. ‘I’ll call you when I get back, okay?’
‘Yeah, see ya.’
As soon as I’ve hung up, my mobile beeps. Gd Lck.
Phoebe. I reply, Thx. My thumb hovers over the send button, but then I change my mind. I add, call u 2moz.
I read the message over, then hit send. It’s going to be strange talking to Phoebe on the phone, but it’s a start.
I check my watch and something flutters in my chest. Nearly time. We’re just two friends going to see a movie together. Except …
I’d never admit it to anyone, but at the back of my mind there is a question. George asked me out, after all. And even though I messed it up, it’s still sort of out there.
So what will it be like today? Will we just act like two friends watching a movie? Or will it be more than that?
My skin feels shivery and light as I brush my hair and pull on my boots. I’m just in cargo pants and a T-shirt, like every weekend. For a moment I consider my reflection in the mirror. I turn side on. Should I put on something special? Wear make-up?
No. Why should I? We’re just two friends, going to the movies, after all.
Mum offers to drive us in, which is fine with me.
We don’t say much in the car. George sits with fists on his knees, staring out the side window. He’s wearing the same black jeans he always does but I’m pretty sure his T-shirt is new. He looks different, though maybe it’s me who’s seeing him differently. He smells fresh, like he’s just stepped out of the shower and put on aftershave.
I don’t want him to catch me checking him out, so other than sideways peeks, I spend most of the trip craning to see out the front, as if I’m worried Mum will get lost.
Two seconds after Mum drops us off, I start to wish that she was coming in with us. Neither of us knows what to say. We walk side by side, not touching. Not talking. Staring straight ahead. Something’s changed between us but I’m not sure what. Is George as nervous as I am? Or is he still annoyed with me for being so weird about the date?
When we reach the double doors at the front of the cinemas, we both go for the handle at the same time and then bounce back as if the handle gave us an electric shock. George mumbles something and I can’t help noticing that his olive cheeks now have a tinge of pink.
There’s not much of a line at the ticket booth. I pay for the tickets while George gets popcorn and drinks from the snack bar.
It’s easier once we get into the cinema. The ads have already started so we just sit, slurp and chew as we watch the screen.
For something to do, I check out the other people sitting in here. The aisle lights are still on, so I can see okay. A man and woman wander lazily up the steps with tattooed arms draped around each other. A bunch of guys who must be about sixteen sit in front of us, throwing popcorn into their mouths. It only takes a few minutes for me to realise that we might be the youngest people in here. That idea makes my heart skip. As if I’m on the other side of something.
The movie starts in the middle of a massive battle. Wind and rain, explosions all over the place. It’s really loud and everything happens fast. One of the foot soldiers lands on a stake and the sound effect is so gross that I gasp.
In the dim light I turn to George. Does he think I’m a little kid for doing that?
I can just make out a grin from one ear to the other. ‘Gross, hey?’ he whispers.
‘Yeah!’ I whisper back. There’s a slow squelch as the soldier slides down the stake, j
erking as he dies.
I’ve been hanging out to see the lead character, but when she finally appears I can’t believe how young she is. They totally picked the wrong actress. In the game, she’s super ancient — she has to be because it takes years to get as powerful as she is. The actress they chose is way too young.
So I spend the whole movie gasping, holding my breath, and listing in my head all the things they get wrong.
I almost forget to stress about being here with George.
As soon we’re outside, George turns to me. ‘How young was the Enchantress!’ he cries. ‘They sure got that wrong.’
The movie crowd keeps flowing around us.
‘Yeah!’ I laugh. ‘And what about the spell she used at the end? Rubies don’t make any sense.’
‘Tell me about it!’ says George. Then his head drops to one side and his eyes narrow as they move over my face. ‘But you liked it, didn’t you?’
‘Liked it?’ My nose scrunches. ‘I loved it!’
George laughs and points to a nearby cafe. ‘Want to get a drink before we head back?’
‘Yep,’ I nod, as my heart does a flip. If George didn’t want to hang out with me anymore, he’d go straight home.
It’s getting late by now. Evening lights slowly flicker on as if signalling the next phase of the day. We talk about the movie until our milkshakes arrive. Then we talk about the game while we drink them. We move on to school for a bit, and I remember to tell him that Lucy says hi. I even tell him some things about Briana and Phoebe. Good things. George acts like his advice helped fix everything. As if.
After we’ve finished our milkshakes we start towards the station, turning to each other easily as we talk. As we pass through the turnstile, it suddenly hits me what’s about to happen. Soon we’ll step onto the train. The carriage will be busy. We’ll walk home, and say goodbye …
Already? It seems too soon.
By now, George is talking about a friend who’s not allowed to play online games. On the platform, he keeps chatting as we find a bench and we sit beside each other. Our legs are close, but not touching. I’m only half-listening but thinking a whole heap of things.
George’s deep brown eyes have long, dark eyelashes, and there’s one small freckle on his left cheek. His skin is a bit darker over his top lip and either side of his jaw line. He’s definitely cute.
I’m glad he asked me to the movie. I let myself imagine what might have happened if I’d said yes to a date. We’d still have gone to the movies but afterwards, maybe, things might have been different. Maybe we would have held hands. Maybe we’d be sitting here right now, talking about the same things except our legs would be touching. And once we were almost home he might have said goodbye, leaning towards me …
With a gasp, I realise what I’m doing. Daydreaming about how it might feel. Leaning close to George. Staring at him. Wanting it to happen …
I squash my lips together. Maybe it’s up to me. Maybe I should lean over and …
George stops talking and frowns. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yep!’ I squeak and let out a breath. ‘Just thirsty is all.’
What am I thinking? There’s no way I have the guts to make a move on George. To cover up, I check out the kiosk on the platform and turn back. ‘Want a drink?’
‘Yeah, maybe a lemonade?’ He fishes coins out of his pocket. ‘Here.’
My head shakes. ‘Don’t worry.’
‘A lemonade, thanks,’ I say to the guy at the kiosk. ‘And …’ Vaguely I scan the drinks on display. What am I doing here? I’m not even thirsty.
‘You wanna cherry lime?’ asks the guy. ‘New flavour. On special.’
The train’s coming, and George is signalling me to hurry up. ‘Okay,’ I say, handing over my money quickly.
The doors are about to close by the time I get back with the cans. We run straight on, laughing, making it just in time.
No seats are left so George leans against a rail in the doorway, cracks his drink and sips. He looks at my can. ‘Cherry lime?’
‘Yeah. Weird, hey? Maybe I’ll save it for later.’ I slip the can into my bag, hang onto a rail and watch the world flash past outside. There’s no chance anything will happen between us now. How could it? George won’t come near me, not after I said we should be friends. And I’ll never, ever, ever have the guts to make the first move.
When I glance over at George, he raises his eyebrows. I smile, then glance away.
At least we are still friends. That’s good. And even though I’ve started to imagine more, I tell myself not to worry. For now, I’m fine the way things are.
The next morning, I open my eyes to breakfast noises coming from the kitchen.
I wander down the hall and find myself stopping outside Lucy’s bedroom door. Gently, I push it open. The bookcase is just where I left it, all wonky and forgotten. No more wrapper on the floor, not even a whiff of hairspray. In so many ways it doesn’t even seem like Lucy’s room anymore.
An image comes to me of Luce sitting in her new kitchen, sunlight streaming in around her. Maybe next weekend I’ll head in again, and catch up.
We’ve already been talking on the phone about her and Josh. Everything’s back to normal with those two, pretty much. Josh dropped round to see Lucy the day after I was there. Turns out he couldn’t stay away for long. And it sounds as if they’ve sorted it all out. There’s talk of living together one day, but not yet. When Lucy’s ready.
The garbage bag is in the middle of the room. I pull out one of her romance books, fan the pages and chuck it back in. Still not planning to read soppy love stories. But at least now I know what it’s like to fall for someone.
I think back to the movie yesterday, and get a warm glow in my chest, like I’m smiling from the inside. Tomorrow, I’ll see George on the bus. We might talk again about the movie. Maybe sometime soon, we’ll go to see a different one.
I push up the window and breathe in cool morning air. It makes the room seem fresher, new somehow. So I leave the window open and head back out to the hall, letting the breeze flow through.
Judging from the cups beside the sink, Mum and Dad are already up to their second coffee.
‘Morning, sweetheart.’ Mum looks up and her eyes crinkle at each corner. ‘There’s porridge on the stove.’
‘Yum. Thanks.’
Dad grabs my shoulders and plants a kiss on my forehead. ‘How’s my gorgeous girl?’
‘Daaaad.’ I pull away from him to grab a bowl.
‘I know, I know!’ he says, grinning.
I turn back and shake my head. ‘That’s all I am to you?’ I’m laughing, but at the same time, I’m making a point.
‘Erin, you’re much more than gorgeous.’ Dad takes his cup to the sink, then grins. ‘But how’s my smart, thoughtful, strong-willed girl doesn’t quite have the same ring, does it?’ He lurches towards Mum standing at the bench, grabbing her around the hips, lifting her up.
‘Andy! Put me down!’ shrieks Mum.
I slice a banana to put on my porridge.
‘Not until Erin admits how beautiful you are. C’mon, Erin? Look at your mum. Tell me what you see.’
Knife hovering, I turn towards them. A sigh. ‘All right.’
In my mind I list all the ways to prove my point. Like how hard Mum works and how organised she is and how good she is at picking presents. All her qualities that actually matter. She’s kind, determined and patient …
My eyes lift up to find Mum watching me from her perch, smiling down at me with the same look as when she said she was proud of me. It’s as if she knows exactly what I’m going to tell Dad.
‘Go on,’ he pushes again. ‘What do you see?’
My mouth lifts at the edges. ‘I see Mum.’ Though he’s right, she is beautiful. With or without all that make-up.
That makes Mum cheer as if I gave the best answer in the world, and jiggle Dad’s shoulders. ‘Andy, I mean it!’
‘All right, all right.’ Gently, he lowe
rs her down. As their heads come close their lips meet in a peck. It’s quite a sight, two people who still can’t get enough of each other after being together for so long. Sort of gross. But sort of nice.
I scoop a spoonful of honey and stir it through my porridge. A dusting of cinnamon on top.
‘So, Erin.’ Dad claps his hands, and turns to me. ‘What’s on for today?’
‘I thought I’d move into Lucy’s room.’
Dad helps move the bookcase against the back wall, and then drags out the vacuum while Mum and I get busy with cloths. Somehow she finds dust in places I never would have thought of, even moving the wardrobe away from the wall to dust behind it.
We break for lunch while Dad checks his email, grumbling about the slow connection. Then we start moving stuff out of my room. We work out the best way to fit my desk though the doorway, then have to change the plan when it almost gets stuck.
Once the big pieces of furniture are all in, I spend the rest of the afternoon sorting though stuff, placing old things into one box for the op shop and another for the shed. Mum produces a brand-new doona cover and matching pillowcases with a green, leafy pattern. It looks awesome on the bed.
Seeing my new room come together so clean and fresh somehow makes me feel fresh, as if I’m starting a whole new phase of life. My room is pretty much finished when my mobile chimes, Guess wot??
Briana. I call straight back. ‘Did you speak to Hamish?’
‘Yep …’ Briana breathes in. ‘And he said yes! Can you believe it?’
‘Wow, that’s awesome!’ For a second, I get the tiniest twinge at the back of my mind. I’m only just getting used to sharing her with Phoebe, and now I’ll have to share her with Hamish too? I push the thought away. As long as Briana and I are still friends, I think I can manage to share her with other people.
We chat about the movie with George for a bit, about how awkward it was at first and then how good it was when we relaxed.
When I finish talking to Bri, I call Phoebe.
It's Not Me, It's You Page 7