George junior was fifteen and Alice was thirteen. Both were watching the Television in the front room. Alice came out to greet her but George junior just grunted.
“Daddy hit me,” Alice complained tearfully.
Tensing, Ellen gave her a kiss and said, “You should be good, go back in there to George and I will talk to your Daddy. Where is he?”
“In the dining room watching the news on his TV”.
“You are late,” her husband George barked as she came out of the hall into the dining room.
“Bus was late again”, she said and continued into the kitchen to prepare the evening meal.
George got up and followed her out. His face was dark and sullen.
“Any luck with the dole office?” she asked trying to sound light but feeling that she was walking on eggs.
“Bastards, they won’t pay dole.” George said vehemently, slapping the kitchen counter to emphasize his point.
‘Why not, you paid your stamps?”
“They say I have to be available for work. If there is work going I have to take it. I threatened to thump him if he would come out from behind that counter. He said he had me down for a job as a bouncer in a nightclub.”
“George, I told you, they won’t let you draw the dole not when you’ve got night work.”
“I know what is good for me you stupid bitch.” George said and stamped his hand hard against the kitchen door. “Bad luck to them. I don’t like night shifts.”
Ellen did not look at him but began to get a bag of potatoes out of a press.
“Take your coat off before you start that, you stupid woman,” he half shouted.
Ellen trembled. In her agitation she had forgotten to take off her coat. She immediately took it off and hung it on the back door. Then she reached for her handbag to hang it on the same hook, but George beat her to it, snatching up the bag.
“Lets’ see what you have in here?” he said with a malicious smile, “you should have got paid today”
“It’s in the side pocket,” Ellen said nervously, not wanting him to turn her bag out on the kitchen table.
George took the envelope, counted the contents and checked against the pay slip.
“Get the dinner,” he ordered, “I’ll decide on how much you need later.” And with that he stuffed her pay slip and the cash into his pocket and went back to their second TV in the dining room.
Ellen relaxed when he was gone. She jumped when he came back unexpectedly. “Where is your daughter Ann, she should be home by now.”
“I don’t know, maybe she was held back for something. I told her to come straight home after her interview.”
“If she is much later she will have me to deal with when she comes in” He growled and retreated to the dining room again.
She was just finished peeling the potatoes when she heard Ann come in. She listened carefully. Ann went straight upstairs to change from her good work clothes. As Ellen feared, a few minutes later she heard her husband go up the stairs and demand to know where she had been. A door slammed as Ann shut it in his face, his timing being such that she was half undressed as he appeared at the bedroom door.
“Don’t slam the door on me,” she heard him shout and then a slap and a cry from Ann. Then there was noise as he came down the stairs again.
Ellen listened, no further movement as everything settled again. She got on with the dinner and then came into the dining room and began to set the table. George looked up but said nothing. She knew the incident with Ann had released some of his tension.
His tension had been building for days and she knew from experience that he would blow up next. Hence she had the feeling of walking on eggs.
“What happened with Alice?” she asked casually.
George looked at her. “Nothing” he barked.
“She said you hit her”
“She was late back from school.”
“Where did you hit her?” she asked again, not looking at him, but she had to know. There was a silence. She knew that if she looked around he would be sullen and staring. She could almost feel it through her shoulders.
“Nowhere, on the leg,” he said dismissively.
Ellen continued to set the table saying no more and there was a silence in the room.
There had been a purpose in the question, which they both understood. He had started on Ann when she was Alice’s age but it had not stopped there. When he’d come home drunk, Ellen had more spirit and confidence in those days and would not let him into their bed. Then he had slept in with their daughter Ann. She had heard him slap her legs in a familiar drunken way, but had thought he was just drunk.
Then one day Ann had complained because her dad did not wear clothes in bed even when he came home drunk.
Ellen had blown a fuse and there were weeks of rows cumulating in a good hiding for Ellen. She had borne it with fortitude, but had made him understand that he could not get into any other bed in the house unless he wanted her to report him to the police.
It had seemed he had behaved, but then he started to come down heavy on Ann. And when he hit her it was on her buttocks or breasts or her thighs. But he had avoided any open sexuality with Ann and Ellen felt that her threat had kept him in check.
The violence always linked to how he controlled them. He set timetables and then insisted they had not been kept. He shouted and threatened and, every now and then, things tipped over in to violence. It would start with some incident that would cause tension. This tension would grow until it was acute. Then there would be violence. And then this would be followed by remorse and reconciliation.
Peace would reign until the next incident.
Ellen took the view that the incidents with Ann were different. Ann was her daughter by a previous relationship and George had taken them both on together. Ellen reasoned that could be different because Ann was not his natural daughter and that because of this he felt anger towards her.
Somehow Ann was a safety valve. When George had vented anger against Ann, Ellen would feel herself safe for a while. But she did not always escape.
Young George was the only one safe, as he was the apple of his father’s eye. Alice had also seemed immune from the extremes of anger, but as she came into her teenage years this seemed to be changing.
Ellen went back into the kitchen. She was in a black knot of worry. Ann came into the kitchen silently. At a glance Ellen could see no bruising.
“All right Ann?” she asked.
“Yes” Ann said, “how is it going”
“On time I think” Ellen said. The Dinner had to be ready at a quarter to seven, no earlier, no later. Together they worked the timings to ensure they were ready just on time. Then Ellen sent Ann to announce dinner was ready and to get her two young siblings to wash their hands. It would be the first thing their father would inspect.
“You sure you are all right?” Ellen asked again.
“Yes” Ann said firmly, blushing slightly. Her nipple still hurt but she would show no sign to anyone, not to her mother and especially not to him.
George Walsh sat at the head of the dinner table and surveyed his family. Then one by one he interrogated them on their day.
They could see his humour was suddenly improved and they responded. All seemed well but there was an underlying tension, an anticipation that his mood could swing again.
“How was the interview for the new job Ann?” he asked pleasantly.
“Fine” Ann said and continued eating.
“Morrissey is a good company, you mind you behave yourself.”
“Yes dad.” Ann agreed. “They won’t pay me until the end of the month so I’ll need some bus fare.”
“Hump” George grunted but they knew that meant he would give their mother some money for Ann’s bus fare.
“I will have to open a bank account. They said at the interview that they would help me do this” Ann added.
“Why?” Ellen asked.
“Because they pay wages by
what is called direct debit. They don’t pay cash. It goes into the account and they just give you a pay slip in an envelope.”
“Bastards” George spat.
“It is the modern way, especially with big companies,” Ellen explained.
“Will you get a cash card from the bank?” George asked Ann.
“Yes, I think so.”
“Don’t think so Ann, get one.”
“Yes Dad.”
“Then you can draw out your wages in cash from the bank. I want it on this table with the pay slip at the end of the month, or there will be big trouble. Understood?”
“Yes dad” Ann said meekly.
“I’ll give you enough for your bus fare,” George conceded.
“I’ll need money for the church hill walking group and some lunch money,” Ann added.
“Hump” George went, “You can bring a sandwich in to work for lunch. But yes, I’ll give you the money for the hill walking. You need to get out in the fresh air.”
Ellen watched Ann. She could see Ann was satisfied so she said nothing more. She was pleased Ann was not making an issue of not getting out at night.
Ann ate quietly. She had had a good day. She had several offers including the Morrissey Group.
She had not taken the Morrissey job, but had actually got a better one. But she was not going to tell her father. She was eighteen now, almost nineteen and old enough now to make plans of her own.
The trouble was, her mother depended on her. But her brother George was getting bigger, now fifteen, and should soon be able to stand up to his father. It was time he woke up and looked out for his mother.
George was busy discussing the latest Liverpool match with his father. They were both mad football fans. Neither of them noticed that Ann was eating and chewing with an intensity that reflected her tense state of mind. Young George did pick up the tensions in the household, but was blind to all the subtexts and knew how to look out for himself.
After the meal, George turned off the television and went to supervise the two younger children at their homework. He had a rule that there was no television for the children after dinner. With the exception of televised football when George would be invited to watch the match with his father. As a father, he was diligent in pursuing homework and all the children got good grades at school.
Ann helped her mother to clear up the dishes and to do the wash up. George would expect everything to be meticulously clean before he went out to the pub at nine for his couple of nightly pints on route to work as a bouncer.
“Did you have a good day Ann?” her mother asked referring to Ann’s job interview.
“I have been asked to start on the Friday to get through the induction process before a full day on the following Monday.”
“Good how was the interview?”
“Yes, it was all right. Mrs. Gleeson is in charge of office recruitment. She is unmarried, about fifty, I’d say. She seems to be kind, but the girls say she’s very hard on good looking girls, if they get too flashy.”
“You are good looking” Ellen reminded her.
“Yes, if you say so, mother, but I decided to wear an office coat and lets’ face it I am a quiet person. Mrs. Gleeson said we would get on, that she thought I would fit in. She seemed happy and said I’d take a week or so to acclimatize. When I got back from the doctor she told me I had got the job.”
“Doctor?” Ellen asked alarm creeping in to her voice.
“Yes, I had to do a medical”
“Did the doctor say anything?”
“He asked me how I got all the bruises.”
“What did you tell him?” Ellen said meeting her daughter’s eyes, with a worried look on her face.
“I told him I was assaulted.”
“By your father?”
“No Mom, I don’t want to make things worse. I said a group of girls attacked me outside a bar in town.”
“Did he believe you?”
“Yes, I told him I had reported it to the police.”
“Will he check?”
“No Mom I don’t think so. Just remarked that girls could be very vicious in a fight with other girls. Said I was lucky not to have got my face cut.”
“Were you all right otherwise?”
“Yes best of health. I told him I had kept my hands over my face to protect myself, and he said girls should know better than to hit another girl in those places.”
“Was that all?”
“Yes, he was kind and he told me he would give me a clean bill of health. Said he saw no need for the recruitment office to know of the incident in town. So I thanked him.”
When she had cleaned up Ann got her book and went into the front room where her father was remonstrating with her siblings over their homework. Her father could not really understand the math and was little help with the Irish, but he went through their homework notebooks and made sure all the requirements were covered.
Ann sat quietly in the corner, feeling safest in with her brother and sister. She did not like to be alone in the house in case her father picked on her.
The children knew no other world and for them the treatment by their father was normal. They knew that when he was gone to the pub, their mother would let them sneak some time at the TV before sending them to bed. It was their little secret.
When George finished with the homework notebooks he went and put on his coat and cap. George went into the kitchen where his wife was cleaning up. He ran a finger over the surfaces and inspected the floor.
“Sweep the floor properly,” he barked, adding, “ugly bitch”
Ellen tensed, but knew from his tone that it was not a critical moment and there would be no violence. “I want the kids in bed, and that includes Ann, by half ten and I want you Ellen naked and waiting in our bed. Do you understand?”
“Yes George. But George can I give the children nightdresses? They are all in one room and they are getting older, it’s not modest.”
“We all sleep as nature intended” George insisted, “and Ellen, don’t you be asleep when I get back or you will get a kick in the backside. Understood.”
“Yes” Ellen said. She felt a tremor of sexual excitement. When he was in a reasonable humour and he was sexually dominant it always gave her a charge. He knew she wanted it. One of his controlling rules was to make sure she only got limited sex, depriving her of all contact when he was wound up over something, despite the fact that he insisted that they all slept naked.
George leaned over and kissed her roughly. After a moment she responded, moving towards him. He pushed her away with a grin.
“Love it don’t you bitch. Don’t get into heat, it might not happen. Just be ready.”
“Yes George,” she said and trembling now, she touched his lips.
George smiled, “That’s’ a good girl. Now do as I say.”
“Hit me George, it’s my fault, just don’t hit the children.”
“They’ll do as they are told and like it” George replied. “I know it’s your fault Ellen, I should never have married you. But I took you in with your little baby and you should be grateful. You are a fat cow and none else would have you.”
“Please don’t talk like that George, Ann might hear, she mustn’t know you’re not her father.” Ellen looked into his eyes.
Her look said ‘you can have me now in the kitchen if you want to’, but she was afraid to speak of her feelings, and she scarcely understood them herself.
George pulled her close and he could feel a tremor through her clothes.
“Take your knickers off,” he instructed.
Not moving away Ellen pulled up her skirt and lowered her knickers to her ankles. She straightened up and looked at him and he kissed her again. “Get the floor brushed again” he said roughly and pushed her back against the press.
“Please George” she said thinking he was about to strike her.
George smiled, “you can say please later.” He said and departed with a whistle on his lip
s.
They all listened to him go. Then the house relaxed.
“Can I turn on the TV Mom”? Young George was first to react, coming barrelling into the kitchen just as she finished readjusting her clothes.
“Not ‘till your father is well gone, and if you hear a key in the door turn it off immediately, or else he will murder us all.”
“Yes Mom.”
“And he wants us all in bed by half ten.”
“Ah Mom” the two younger kids groaned.
“I’m first up” Ann said, “I’m not having youse two staring at me”
“I’m second,” Alice said.
George was pleased, that meant he would be able to stay up the latest.
Ellen began her ironing, and then remembered to turn on the radio. She liked these moments in the evening best. Everything seemed right with the world. And George had gotten over his bad humour. The trouble was, the time lag between tension and violence seemed to be getting shorter and the periods of reconciliation were also not lasting as long.
If things went well down the pub and he came home to her it would be all right. When they had sex it seemed to lift his humour for days, he would really be great. And when he was charming he was a lovely man.
Ann came into the kitchen and smiled at her. “Need a hand?”
“No Ann, but you can do your own ironing in a minute. Will you do a shopping list for me; your writing is very good. Your father can get the shopping in the morning.”
“Will you make sure he leaves enough money out for me before he goes to the betting shop, just in case.”
“Don’t worry. It will be all right.”
Ann got out the shopping list and put it on the kitchen table. She got a biro and prepared to mark the things they needed. Her mother would prompt her as she went down the list. “Cup of tea?” she suggested before she sat down.
“That would be nice,” her mother said, smiling at her.
Later Ann went to her room. She retrieved the employment offer details she had brought home, from under the bed. She put them behind the wardrobe where her father was unlikely to find them. She decided that she would take them back to work on the first day and find a place to keep them in the office.
Love on the Dark Side of the City Page 7