by Cole Pain
Manda’s slender hand slipped into his own. He looked down into her beautiful green eyes, full of life and energy. Standing on tiptoe, Manda drew his head down and kissed his cheek.
“You’re beautiful when you’re happy, Aaron. Please open your heart to feel happiness. I assure you, we’ll help you find it.”
The sincerity in her eyes tugged at his soul. His heart ached to hold her. Despite his fear, he pulled her to him.
Fresh lilac tickled his nose. “You make me beautiful, Manda. You make everything beautiful.”
Chapter 10
Aaron woke as the air stirred around him. A breathy sigh enveloped him. He closed his eyes, remaining still to drink in the sensation for all he could.
She was forming.
A lump caught in his throat. The love he held burgeoned within him like flint to flame, cleansing his age-old anguish, purifying his soul and once again stealing his heart.
The air filled with tingling effervescence – with her – his Kyra. Aaron smiled, unable to be saddened by his ultimate end or her final goodbye, because for a few heartbeats he would once again be with the most glorious thing in all the Lands.
The air around him formed hands and wrapped him in a celestial embrace, touching his face, his hair, his hands, and finally pulling him to his feet.
Aaron relished the anticipation before he turned to face the glowing figure silhouetted beneath the light of the twin moons. Even in shadow his Kyra was glorious. Long, wavy hair careened down her sides and sparks of power twirled around her frame.
As he approached, her face became clear. He drew in a breath, surprised he had once again been unable to remember her beauty. It was as if he couldn’t comprehend her radiance and disregarded his memories as surreal. He knew part of his reflection was how Kyra had been in life, and now she was far more glorious. At first it had saddened him, but after a time he had decided it was only appropriate: he avenging their love by avenging others, forcing people to fear him and their actions; her sustaining their love by gracing all with wonder, filling people with reverence and splendor.
Kyra was far too magnificent to love only him. He had always known that. Although their love had been unprecedented, he knew the day would come when she would be taken in some form or fashion. That wasn’t to say he ever thought she would love another over him. It was to say he knew the Maker had some greater purpose for her. He just hadn’t realized the extent of those plans.
He trembled with love when he reached her. For a time all he could do was look into her eyes, but when his tremors escalated he bowed to one knee, hung his head, and whispered the words he had uttered for centuries.
“Kyra, my heart and my soul, my love and my pain, my future and my past, I give to you all that I have and all that I am. But I beg you, don’t ask me to release you. If I do I’m no more, we’re no more, and you’ll be nothing to me but a name in the stars.”
“I must ask it, Aaron.” The air quivered with a song that hadn’t yet been sung. “Give me your emotions. Give me your pain and your love. I beseech you. The time is at hand.”
After all the times she had asked, a dagger still tore his chest at her words.
He looked up into her solid silver eyes, full of power and love, and choked on his next words. “Kyra, if I grant your request I’ll never see you again. I would live a life without remembering our love, without remembering you. How could you ask me to do such a thing? Have you forgotten our love?”
When her face twisted in anguish he quickly regretted his words, but they were the truth. This time he didn’t want her to leave him without knowing why he chose to refuse.
“If I die so be it. At least I’ll die with you as part of me. What you ask of me is living an eternity without you, an eternity, Kyra.”
A lone, silver tear trickled down her cheek. Aaron reached up and gently wiped it away. When his fingers touched her, her power coursed through him with frightening speed.
“I have never, nor will I ever forget our love,” she said, turning her heart-shaped face from him, staring at memories he could almost feel, memories she wanted him to betray.
“But that’s what you ask of me.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “And I know how hard it must be for you, but you must, my love, or all will be betrayed.”
Aaron blinked. It was the first time she had ever referred to the song sung about him. “How can the Avenger betray all? I fight betrayal. I take on its pain. I am its pain.”
“Oh, Aaron, my love.” She knelt, taking his face in her hands. “I can’t … ” Her silver eyes filled with tears. “You just must.”
The way she held his face brought back sacred memories. She had always taken his face when he came home, tantalizing him before she allowed him a kiss. Before she died she had done the same thing, but with her touch she had charged him to avenge their love.
With the touch of her hands her power seeped through him, but it couldn’t distill his past horror: Kyra being skinned before his eyes, Kyra being raped and beaten, and he unable to reach her.
She was the Quy now, not his Kyra Goodenspy. Their love had made the power possible. Their love had made him the Avenger.
“Oh Kyra, my Kyra, stop being the Quy.”
Her eyes saddened. “I can’t, Aaron. The world needs me. I am what that Maker wants me to be. I am no more or no less, but I am more powerful because of your love.”
“And if I give it away?”
“Then I’ll still be as I am. I’ll still know.”
“But I won’t.”
Her brow furrowed. “No.”
Aaron sighed and leaned into her, wrapping his arms around her, shuddering as her current surged through him. “I’m not that strong, my love.”
“You can love another,” the Quy said softly.
“No.”
Kyra turned and looked toward camp. Aaron’s chest constricted. She would use his friends to make her point, so this time he wouldn’t fail.
“She’s beautiful, Aaron. Let her help you.”
“Please, Kyra, don’t.”
She ran her delicate hands through his hair. He felt his tears falling, sizzling off her body like steam. He didn’t want to give up his pain, his love. That was all he knew, that was all he was. Who would he be without them? Who would he be without Kyra?
“I would be empty, Kyra. Your love is all that helps the pain. All I know is pain. Where would I be without either?”
“You would be a man. You would live again. That’s your reward for bearing the pain all these years. You would be free.”
“Free without you.”
“You’ll always have me, my love.”
“But I won’t remember.”
“No.” Her voice was sad, mournful. “There’s a girl over there who needs you. Although she’s strong, without you she won’t be. If you don’t give me what I ask you’ll die, and it will shatter both her heart and her spirit. Unlike you, she can’t take any more pain.”
Aaron slowly raised his head and turned toward camp. Manda and Fraul were watching. Manda blushed and turned away. Aaron’s heart split in two. Kyra was right. If he didn’t do as she asked he would die and he would be unable to help Manda save her brother. Could he do that to Manda?
But could he release his love for Kyra?
- - -
Fraul woke with a start, sensing something. The air wasn’t right. It was too … shimmery.
Leaping from his bedroll, he landed on his feet, but before his hand he could reach his sword his eyes locked on the two figures in the distance. He froze, mouth agape, and immediately knew Aaron Goodenspy and Ari Goodspeed were one in the same man.
The fact Fraul had been right in his query didn’t send him any pleasure.
“Holy Maker of fates,” he whispered. He felt like an intruder, but he couldn’t look away. His legs moved on their own accord. He stepped toward the woman who seemed to be wearing a gown of stars. She bent toward Aaron and took his face in her hands.
/> The pain etched on Aaron’s features was far greater than any Fraul had ever seen. He had already seen anguish enough to move mountains in Aaron’s eyes. What Aaron was now feeling would have killed another in a heartbeat.
Then he remembered Aaron’s words.
“I can’t betray the one I love.”
Whatever Aaron had to do to live again was happening. Fraul’s breath caught as he closed his eyes. He had grown fond of Aaron and held hopes he could help the Avenger overcome what he had to overcome, but this was something far out of Fraul’s reach.
Aaron and Kyra, pain and love, bound together by past love and created out of pain. There was nothing anyone could do to help Aaron. No one aware of his story would ask Aaron to betray her. Why she was asking was beyond Fraul’s grasp.
Manda stepped beside him, eyes wide with wonder. Fraul put his arm around her shoulders. They watched in silence as Aaron shook his head. The Quy lost her smile and saddened. The air shivered. She turned their way.
Fraul’s heart hammered, but not because they had been discovered. It was Kyra’s eyes. They seemed to enwrap him with love, draw out his fears and leave a purified soul. Manda drew a sharp breath beside him. She felt it too: the love of the Quy for the Maker’s children.
Aaron turned their direction. His pain amplified even further and his face twisted with worry. His eyes locked on Manda. She released a whimper and turned away.
Fraul stood, dumbfounded. The Quy was using Manda to convince Aaron to yield his love and pain. Manda knew it too. Fraul opened his mouth to try to say something comforting but nothing would come. Then, in stark amazement, he watched Aaron nod in acceptance.
The air around them stirred, moving with frenetic ardor. Aaron collapsed on the ground as Kyra released him and stepped away.
“No,” Manda whispered.
Fraul didn’t know what to do. Aaron was giving up his love for them. Blessed Fates! He had helped the Avenger betray his love. It tore Fraul’s heart.
The Quy raised her arms. Her lips parted and she began to chant. At first her voice was so high Fraul mistook it for the wind whistling through the treetops, bending and swaying until it whirled to the heavens. But as he listened, he heard her words:
Black as night the hate it thrives
Cold as hollow bones
Take my love’s hate from him
And form the fated stone
White as light the love it grows
Fervid as molten flame
Take my child’s love from him
And mold the choosing stone
Clear as glass the pain it lives
Cutting as the blade
Take my guard’s pain from him
And cast the chancing stone.
As her voice ebbed and flowed her silver light began to intensify, lighting the woodlands like noonday. When the verse was through she bent her head to Aaron’s still form.
“Aaron, draw you sword and take my hand.”
Aaron did as the Quy asked. The Quy’s silver glow surged into Aaron. His jaw tightened; his chest heaved; he began to shake and tremble. He threw his head back and screamed.
Fraul stumbled backwards. The air oscillated over him, crashing with madness and sorrow and passion. The emotions tore through him, sending him sprawling over the crackling remains of the fire. Ash and debris whirled around him. Aaron’s sword began to glow, but not with a white light. It glowed with a darkness so profound it seemed to swallow the night.
Still Aaron’s scream continued. It was harrowing. Fraul thought his own heart would rip from him. He covered his ears but he couldn’t force the pain to dissipate. He wanted to reach Aaron, help him, but he couldn’t move.
Only one thought dominated his mind: Aaron was pain, he had lived with pain for centuries, but whatever he was feeling must be pulling the skin from his bones for no one could survive what was driving that scream.
- - -
Aaron was reliving every betrayal he had ever known, but not one at a time. All of the emotions came together and mingled into one. Hate thrived, pulsed and howled: anger at the countless betrayals, anger he could only do so much. The love grew, soared and shouted: the betrayed’s first comfort from the betrayer, the betrayed’s love held for the deceiver. But the pain, fates on fates, the pain! It wasn’t only the betrayeds’ pain, it was also the first, intense, shocking realization of the betrayer’s identity. The pain not only lived, it thrived. It not only breathed, it grew. It not only cried, it screamed.
The pain, love, and anger were always with him, but tears always washed the anger away, love always concealed the dark clouds of anguish, the pain was never the pain of the first realization, and it never, never grew.
He collapsed on the ground. He thought his heart was going to rip open. He thought surely he would die. Then his brother’s betrayal rose above the others with tortuous speed. His brother crashing down the door, beating him to the point of death, chaining him to the ground; his brother raping Kyra, passing her to his men, laughing at his inability to reach her; his brother skinning Kyra before his eyes, lips sneering in victory; his brother coming at him with a knife as Kyra’s broken body fell to the floor; Kyra, blue eyes still shining with life, slowly turning silver; the silver light blinding him, breaking his chains, killing his brother, resonating through the world with thunder; Aaron crawling to her, holding her as she cupped his face and whispered what she would have him do:
“Aaron, you must be our Avenger. You must be … ”
A silver light engulfed him, and for the second time Kyra died in his arms.
Then there was nothing. Thoughts he had held only heartbeats before were gone. He knew they existed. He remembered feeling … something. He searched for them, knowing he had lost something precious.
There was nothing but emptiness. Who was he? The answer didn’t come. He groped for any memory. He scraped his chest, trying to uncover what he had lost.
The emptiness overpowered him. He tried to regain his last memory. Why was he on his hands and knees? Why did he feel so alone? But he couldn’t.
He felt a movement and raised his head. Silver eyes stared down at him, flickering with emotions he couldn’t feel. But the woman was beautiful, far more beautiful than any memory could be.
She reached out and touched his cheek. Memories crashed into him, filling his marrow with feeling. Aaron steadied himself with his hands and gazed into her silver eyes, desperate to hold on to consciousness.
“Kyra?”
A silent silver tear slid down her cheek. He brushed it away.
“Did you think our love could ever be crushed, Aaron, even by magic? You needed to give everything you had. That’s why I’ve told you for centuries you wouldn’t remember. But nothing could break our bond, my love, not even draining you of all feeling.” Kyra ran her hands through his hair. He felt her power tickling over his new soul free of the pain of others, free of the anger of betrayal, and free of love’s anguished cry.
A flicker of images still lingered, but they were a story, not actuality. The reflections were lore, not truth. Yes, he remembered, but no, the memories weren’t his own. He drew in a breath, buried his head in the flat of Kyra’s stomach, and wept. She stroked his hair, letting him feel the relief he could have had years ago.
“Why did I need to do this?”
“The world needs your feelings, Aaron.” Kyra opened her palm, revealing two flawless, polished stones, one white as snow and the other clear as light.
“All our love and all your betrayeds’ love is in the white stone. All our pain and all your betrayeds’ pain is in the clear stone. All your righteous hate is in your blade.”
Aaron looked at his sword. The silver blade had turned deathly black. It was so black at first he thought the blade was gone.
“You have little hate, my love. Our tragedy happened too fast and then we died. You had no time for hate. You were too busy feeling pain. The betrayeds you avenge are the same. They haven’t gone past the pain to feel anger
. The anger you do feel is your own anger at the betrayer, your own righteous hate. It isn’t strong enough to form the stone. You must find the man who can help you form the stone.
“When you saw me you remembered our love, as I knew you would. Nothing can break true love away from your soul. It’s in you,” Kyra said, putting her hand over his heart. “Nothing can ever shatter it. But your pain is gone, as it should be, so you can live again.”
“I don’t want to live without you,” Aaron said. Although his role as the Avenger was now complete, his love for her was growing again, faster than he would have liked it to.
“Yes, you do. You’re a man, and now you can live freely, without bounds. I’m the Quy. I love you but can never love you. I’m not human. I’m the power. That’s how I was able to hold on. That’s how the Maker granted us life.
“I remember our love, but only with idyllic charm. I don’t want it back. I don’t know how to want it. I love you, but I love everyone. I’m the Quy. You’re a man. I want you to live again, breathe again. I want you to find someone who can love you without bringing you pain.”
Aaron touched her hair, feeling its silky weightlessness, knowing she spoke the truth. She was the power, not his Kyra. The happiness he had felt only breaths ago dissipated. She didn’t love him as a man. She loved him as a child. “You didn’t bring me pain, Kyra. Others brought me pain.”
“I did bring you pain,” she said. “I unintentionally hurt everyone I touched. Women met me and it pained them. Men met me and it pained them. Only you weren’t harmed, for I loved you. But my love brought you pain. I want no more pain to come to you. I want to be inside your mind and feel your joy of living. For in that I’m with you, as I’m with everyone with the power.
“I love even the dark ones, Aaron, because they love me. I just am. But if I can be in your mind like this … ”
She cradled his face in her hands, shut her silver eyes and tilted her head back, exposing her long, slender neck. Aaron’s heart twisted, remembering his Kyra in life, but as quickly as the feeling came it was taken by a sudden jolt in his mind. He felt the power of the Avenger being born in a new way. He shivered, not from uneasiness but from feeling her within him.