by Sara York
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony asked, surprising himself with his straightforward question. He hadn’t always been that way with Marissa. Usually, he hid his feelings and used manipulation to control her. He had been working on that before she’d left him.
“What are you--? Oh, you overheard.” A blush settled across Marissa’s cheeks, making her appear years younger and smaller than ever. Tubes connected her to an IV bag and wires crossed over her body. The steady beat, beat, beat of her heart was displayed on the monitor behind her head. He had to stick around to protect her.
“Tony, I couldn’t tell you.”
A stab of pain clenched his heart. His arm shot out and he leaned against the wall, steadying his body from the onslaught of betrayal. He wanted to ask why she couldn’t tell him, but he couldn’t say the words. He didn’t want to know if this baby was someone else’s.
The door pushed open behind him. Rex strolled in, looking like a model straight off the cover of GQ.
“Marissa, you look beautiful.”
“Rex, thank you for coming by.” Marissa opened her arms and Rex moved forward, planting a kiss on the top of her head.
Tony’s eyes squeezed shut and suspicion ground at his thoughts, making it hard to not jump to conclusions. He opened his eyes and saw Rex holding onto Marissa’s hand. Jealousy made Tony want to rip Rex away from her hospital bed and force him to stay in the waiting room like everyone else.
The door opened again and the nurse pushed a large machine into the room. “I’m sorry, but you two are going to have to leave.”
“Please let them both stay,” Marissa begged.
“Sweetie, are you sure?” The nurse asked, eyeing Tony and Rex with disdain.
“Yes, if the baby’s not okay--” A sob stopped the words. Tears flowed from her eyes and Rex bent down to hug her.
Tony wanted to kick Rex. He wanted to beat his face with his fist and make him pay for the pain shooting through his heart. Revenge wasn’t his way. Life had taught him retribution never had the effect one hoped for, so he walked calmly over to the bed and held Marissa’s other hand. He closed his eyes as the nurse pulled up Marissa’s hospital gown, exposing her belly and underwear.
The nurse spread gel on Marissa’s belly and placed the paddle in the goop. A blob of black and white appeared on the monitor above the nurse. She moved the paddle across Marissa’s stomach, giving no indication whether or not the baby was fine. Tony held his breath as worry ran its course. He didn’t want Marissa to lose another child. Ashley was more of a loss than anyone should have to endure. He sent up a prayer, hoping God was listening, begging for a miracle for Marissa.
“Oh good, I see a heartbeat. It appears you’re in good shape. You need to schedule another ultrasound in about two weeks. At this stage, it’s too early to see much so the next ultrasound is just a precaution, nothing to worry about.”
Tears flowed down Marissa’s cheeks as Rex wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. Tony noticed Rex was relieved, not shocked or surprised. Why had Marissa wanted Rex in the room with her? The answer was obvious, but Tony didn’t want to believe Rex or Marissa would betray him so deeply.
“Marissa, I need to speak with Rex outside.”
“Sure,” Marissa said weakly. Her eyes closed as exhaustion set in. Tony doubted she would be awake for long.
Rex followed Tony outside and into the oven-like heat. On the way out, Tony barked at a uniformed officer to guard Marissa’s room. The hot air did little to soothe his anger.
“What was that all about?” Tony snapped.
“What are you talking about?”
“Why didn’t you look surprised when Marissa’s pregnancy was mentioned?” Tony’s voice came out harshly through gritted teeth. He hated this conversation. Rex was his best friend, but right now he didn’t know if he was a killer or an adulterer.
“Tony, I think you need to calm down.”
“Calm down? I need to calm down? My wife was almost murdered tonight. Then I find out she’s pregnant. And now, the guy I thought was my best friend is closer to my wife than I am. Why did Marissa ask you to stay in the room? What did you do?”
“You think I fucked your wife.”
Tony’s fist was in the air and his hand bashed into Rex’s cheek before he could stop it. Rex stumbled back a few feet, anger flashing in his eyes. Tony saw his fists ball at his sides, but he never raised them.
“Did you?” Tony asked. Anger pumped through his veins, making him want to punch Rex again.
“No, you idiot. I’ve never touched Marissa. She wouldn’t have me. God, I tried before you were married. I thought she was making a big mistake. I went to her one night ten years ago and told her as much. I wanted her then, and I would have gladly taken her away from you at the time. But you’re a stupid jerk. She loves you.
You are the one who screwed it up. If you lose her, it’s your fault. And guess what, Einstein? The baby is yours.” Rex blew out a breath and crossed his arms. “Earlier this week, I was downtown looking into some information on the Douglas rape case. It was the day we worked the Longfellow case. I ran into her at Dr. Ortega’s office. She was crying and I asked why. She spilled her guts. Apparently, her husband didn’t care enough to call her and she didn’t have the gumption to pick up the phone.”
Tony sat on the curb, his head in his hands. “What have I done?” He saw Rex’s feet in front of him, and wondered briefly if Rex was going to kick him. A band of cicadas buzzed in the trees behind them. Rex moved next to him and sat down. He bumped Tony with his shoulder.
“Tony, man, get your butt back in there and tell her you’re sorry. Tell her you love her and get your relationship back on track.”
“What if she doesn’t want me back? She doesn’t trust me and I don’t know...”
“Don’t know what?”
“If I can trust her.”
“You’re going to have to talk to her. But if you aren’t in there when she wakes up, you’re going to miss an opportunity you won’t get again.”
“Damn it, this is too hard.” Tony flexed his hands at his side, trying to calm his racing heart.
“Hey, you know what? Sometimes life sucks.”
“What does that mean?”
“You figure it out. I need to go home and get an icepack on this.”
“I can’t believe I hit you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve wanted to hit you more times than I can count. Maybe next time I’ll just do it.”
Tony’s shoulders sagged. His life was crumbling faster than he could put it back together. First his wife left him, now he was out of a job. Ashley’s death was being reinvestigated, and today he found out his wife was pregnant. After losing Ashley, they had both wanted another child. They had planned it, worked at it, and been disappointed month after month when nothing happened. He wondered if they could they have conceived before she left. Fear and doubt played a trick on his mind. Maybe Rex was wrong and the baby didn’t belong to him.
Tony made his way back to her room and took up his post by Marissa’s bed. He slouched in the chair and let his head drop to the side. He woke a few hours later when Marissa started pulling on clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting dressed. I’m leaving.”
“Did the doctor discharge you?” Tony asked.
“No, but I can’t stay here any more. I’m fine.”
Tony’s shoulders ached and his head swam. He shouldn’t have slept in the chair. “I’ll go get the nurse and ask if we can leave.”
“I’m going back to my apartment.”
“You can’t.”
“What?”
“The police are probably still gathering evidence. You’ll have to wait. I’ll take you to the motel where I’m staying.”
“I don’t know.” Marissa pressed the call button and summoned the nurse.
Tony wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I promise I’ll behave. I want you to be safe, and I ne
ed to watch after you for a while.”
“Tony...”
He held her away from his body and stared into her eyes. “I’m not going to take no for an answer. I love you. I’m going to take care of you for a while. After the threat is gone, we’ll talk about our future.”
The nurse disconnected the IV from Marissa and had them sign a few papers. Tony helped her out to his car and drove across town to his motel room, the one with a single king sized bed. Sleeping together was something Tony had wanted since the day Marissa walked out, but the cost of obtaining his dream had been too much. He’d failed Marissa and almost lost her. Now he had a chance to make everything right again and this time, he wouldn’t blow it.
Chapter 21
Nightmares happened more often than not, but Tony didn’t want this one, especially this one, to be true. He stretched his arms out but recoiled before he touched the form next to him.
Who’s next to me this morning?
He turned over, letting the covers fall from him. He reached out again to touch the person and sighed when he felt the soft rise and fall of her shoulder. She was still alive. His dream was just that, a dream. There were no dead bodies in his bed. He wasn’t covered in blood. Marissa lay beside him. It had been too long since he had seen her relaxed in sleep.
Tony wanted to pull her into his arms and make love to her. Reality held him back. He rolled out of bed, letting his feet hit the floor with a thunk. Marissa groaned and rolled to face the wall. He pulled his shorts on and tugged a shirt over his head.
Quietly letting himself out of the room, he padded across the parking lot to the small ‘Waffle House’ on the corner. Two large cups of coffee and a bag of pastries later, he returned to the room to find Marissa gone. He let the door slam behind him, his eyes searching for a sign of her. The toilet flushed and relief washed over him. She was still here. No one had gotten to her.
“Good morning.” Tony held up one styrofoam cup of coffee and the bag of pastries. “I have some food if you want anything.”
“Just water, thanks.” Marissa gave him a watery smile.
Tony wanted to pull her into his arms. Instead, he set the coffee down on the nightstand so he could grab her a cup of water. She blanched, pushing him out of the way, and ran for the bathroom.
He should have remembered, but he hadn’t. How could he forget the smell of coffee made her sick when she was pregnant? The bitterness of not knowing about her pregnancy until yesterday had left him feeling angry and deceived.
“Marissa, can I get you some water?”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
Tony wandered back over to the small desk and sipped at his coffee before he tossed it outside. He hated the way his thoughts were going. Marissa didn’t have to tell him about the baby, but why wouldn’t she? Unless it wasn’t his. Damn it, he needed to stop thinking that way.
“You said you got some pastries?” Marissa asked as she popped her head out of the bathroom.
Tony swallowed his anger, not wanting to scare Marissa off and into the killer’s waiting arms. “There are a few muffins and sweet rolls. Would you like one?”
“Thanks. I think I’ll have a muffin.”
“How far along are you?” Tony asked.
“I didn’t know I was being interrogated.” Marissa flopped onto the bed with a muffin in hand.
“I’m not interrogating you, I just want some answers.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you earlier. You can’t see my side.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Tony yelled, his control slipping with each minute alone with Marissa.
“You don’t get it. I’m not some recruit you can boss around. I have feelings,” Marissa said as she choked back tears.
“Marissa, I’m sorry. I--I want you to feel comfortable here.”
“Two months.”
“What?” Tony stared at his wife, unsure what she was talking about.
“I’m two months along. I guess I conceived the night before I left.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tony, I can’t go through this right now. I’m tired and I need to go home and clean my house. I mean, apartment.”
“You can’t go back yet. They won’t have cleared the scene.” Tony sat next to Marissa; her warmth drew him close. He wanted more than anything to pull her into his arms.
“What the heck am I supposed to do?” Marissa asked. She stood and paced the floor, her hand going to her head every few steps and rubbing at her temple.
“You can go mattress shopping with me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding?” Marissa stopped her pacing and stared at Tony.
“We need a new bed and you’ll probably be sleeping on it at some point, one way or another. So you may want to have a say in which mattress I buy.”
“What do you mean one way or another?” The slant of Marissa’s eyes warned him he was treading dangerous waters.
“Let’s not get into that right now, Marissa.”
“You’re actually angry with me,” Marissa shot out, her hands on her hips and anger flashing in her eyes.
“Why do you think that?”
“I can tell by your posture, the way you’re just sitting there.”
“Let’s just drop it and get dressed so we can go mattress shopping.” Tony jerked his shirt over his head.
“No, I’m not going to drop it.” Marissa pushed. She moved towards him and bent down, her nose only a few inches from Tony’s. “What is your problem?”
“Okay, you want to know what my problem is? When were you going to tell me you were pregnant? You know how much I--Damn it, I miss Ashley. How could you keep this from me? It’s mine, right?” His crisp voice echoed in their small room.
“You really don’t know, do you?” Marissa stepped back and began chomping on her muffin again.
“How could I? You left me.”
“No, that’s not what I’m talking about. You really don’t know how much I loved you. You’re a selfish pig, and I am not going to put up with this.”
“You can’t leave.” Tony jumped up and grabbed Marissa’s arms. Her soft skin left a burning trail of desire across his flesh.
“You can’t stop me.”
“I am not letting you out of my sight until they catch this guy. You are not allowed to go running around without me. And if I have to chain you to the bed, I will.”
Marissa huffed and struggled to pull away from him. Tony pulled her closer. She slammed into his chest, throwing them both off balance. He landed on the bed and pulled Marissa with him. The air stilled around them. Marissa ceased struggling.
He could feel the beginnings of a bulge at her waist, nothing significant, just a slightly rounded shape. He brushed the hair back from her eyes and rolled her onto her back. Marissa’s hand ran over Tony’s chest, her fingers pausing at his waistband. Without shame, she ran her hand over his chest again, flicking his nipples with her thumbnail. Tony sucked in air. Shock mingled with pleasure heightened his sensitivity.
“If you want me to, I’ll stop right now and leave you alone. Oh God, I don’t want to, but Marissa, I’ll do whatever you want.”
Her arms came around him, pulling him closer, offering up her lips for kissing. “Don’t stop. I need you,” Marissa whispered, her voice almost lost in the sound of their heavy breathing.
Tony’s hand went immediately to her belly. He kissed her hard, his tongue invading her mouth, calling her to dance with him like they had in the past. He slid her underwear off and pulled her top over her head. She was beautiful. Her body glowed with life. Her breasts were fuller, rounder and pinker. He lowered his mouth to one creamy, pink tipped mound and savored the sweetness of it. Marissa groaned, running her fingers up his back to grasp his head more firmly, pulling him closer, demanding more.
Tony sucked in a breath as Marissa ran her fingers over his chest to his abs. Her fingers dipped below his waistband and he groaned.
Tony’s cell pho
ne chirped. “Ignore it. I’m not on call.” Tony reached down to push off his pants. A knock sounded on the door. “Damn it. Who could that be?”
Marissa rolled off the bed, grabbed her clothes and ran for the bathroom. The knock sounded again. Tony cursed louder as he stood and pulled his shirt over his head. He checked the peephole. Rex was up early and he didn’t look happy. Tony whipped the door open, his breath still heavy from the activity with Marissa. Why was Rex here?
“Sorry to wake you, but it is nine fifteen.”
“We had a rough night.” Tony blocked the door, not wanting Rex to see the disheveled bed and comment on what did or did not take place.
“Could you step out here a moment?”
“Fine, what’s up?”
“I thought you’d want to know, a body was found this morning. Arisa Fink. She was a dancer at a club just outside the city limits. The club’s manager found her. Apparently she hadn’t showed up for the last three nights. He drove out to check on her and found her dead on the floor in her bedroom. The house is spotless, except for her dead body.”
“Is there an ‘H’ on her anywhere?”
“Too early to tell. Sekorski says he’ll look once they get her to the morgue.”
“Anything else?” Tony cringed at the dark shadow under Rex’s eye. He shouldn’t have hit him.
“Nothing.”
“Sounds like our guy. So that makes four with at least two more to go.”
“I was going to see if the chief would drop your administrative leave. You know, get you back onto the force.”
Tony’s shoulders dropped. He shuffled from one foot to the other. Could he go back? Whispers and strange looks were sure to follow him. He’d be a joke in his own department. There was nothing he wanted to do other than law enforcement. The pull of his old job outweighed any embarrassment he felt. He loved police work and would be lost without it.
“I’ll come down and talk to Chief Randall today. See what his thoughts are.”
“Tony, we need you. I’ll be by later today to drop off more reports in case the chief doesn’t let you come back. Here’re a few more from yesterday.”