Kellen knew what Ian was doing. He was playing one of his mind games and this time squarely in the public eye. He was staging a little melodrama to embarrass her and Stephen in front of those who certainly remembered what had gone on between her and Garrett eight years ago.
Stephen turned to her. “Kellen, I think we should go. The children —-”
“Yes,” she said quickly.
Stephen paused then nodded to Garrett. “It’s good to finally meet you, Mr. Richardson,” he said.
“After all these years,” Garrett said.
Kellen extended her hand to Garrett. His hand was warm, holding hers firmly. “Enjoy your stay,” she said.
“I will, Mrs. Hillman, thank you,” he said.
She pulled her hand away. She turned to Stephen and slipped her arm through his. The crowd parted slightly to let them through then closed again with a soft murmur.
CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
Garrett was sitting at the table near the window, his beer untouched. Louis’s restaurant, perched above the rocky shore at Point Lobos, offered a prime view for sunset watchers but Garrett was oblivious to the scenery. His eyes were focused on the door, and when he saw the figure in a raincoat and hat enter, he rose.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” he said.
Kellen glanced around the crowded bar. “Please, let’s go outside.”
Despite the rainy weather, the area outside teemed with people milling around the tour buses in front of the nearby Cliff House and peering through binoculars at the colony of seals on the rocks offshore. Kellen looked at Garrett then started down a steep path that led away from the crowd, down to a large flat cove below. They made their way through some old stone formations, across weather-beaten ramparts and ruined pathways. They went by several large rectangular stone pools of brackish green water, passing under the gaze of big gray gulls sitting like gargoyles on the rocks.
There was an eerie feel to the place, like that of an old shrine. The place was called the Sutro Baths, and in the late 1880s it had been a huge, festive public bathhouse. Now it was just ruins, and what was left was being slowly reclaimed by the sea and air.
Kellen went through a stone archway, and Garrett ducked his head to follow. They emerged on a small stone balcony, exposed to the wind and the surf crashing on the rocks far below.
“I didn’t want to be seen,” Kellen said.
“I understand,” Garrett said.
Kellen stood, looking at him intently for a long time then slowly shook her head. “I feel like I should be able to talk to you but I can’t.”
“Then why did you agree to see me?”
She looked away. “I don’t know.”
A sudden gust caught Kellen’s hat, sending it flying toward the railing. Garrett lunged for it but couldn’t catch it in time. He looked back at Kellen. She reached up to brush back her hair, which was tied back in a haphazard ponytail.
“You look like a young girl,” Garrett said. “You haven’t changed at all.”
“Yes I have. I have two children now,” she said. “A boy and a girl.”
“Ben and Sara,” Garrett said. “Enid told me.”
“What else did she tell you?”
“That you recently went back to working at the newspaper with your husband. She sees that as a bit...a bit strange and she wishes you would come back to the opera guild.”
Kellen searched Garrett’s face for ridicule but there was none. Neither was there any hint that he knew Sara was his child. When he had called yesterday asking to see her she had thought that Sara was the reason, that he had somehow found out about her. In the three days since the ball, she had thought often about what would happen if Garrett found out the truth.
She and Stephen had managed to live with the secret. But now, with Garrett back, it was threatening to move beyond her and Stephen. She didn’t care for herself but she couldn’t bear to see Sara hurt. So she had come today to beg for Garrett’s understanding and discretion.
But apparently he didn’t know. She was flooded with relief but it didn’t make it easier to face him.
“Enid’s a busybody,” Kellen said. She stuck her hands in her pockets. “Her niece is very pretty.”
“Amy? She’s just a kid.” For the first time, Garrett smiled, a slight self-deprecating smile. “I think she has a crush on me. It makes me feel very old.”
Kellen reached up to wipe her damp hair off her face. “It’s getting late,” she said. “I have to go soon.”
Garrett’s somber expression reminded her so much of Sara that she had to look away.
“I had to see you,” he said. “To tell you something. To tell you that I’ve never stopped thinking about you. Not once in eight years.”
The sound of the seals barking on the far-off rocks carried on the wind, wavering loud then faint. She began to shiver and pulled her coat tighter around her. Never, in all the moments she had thought of him in the last three days, never had she expected those words.
“It’s cold,” she said. “I’ve got to go.”
Garrett took several steps toward her but stopped when he saw her begin to retreat. “I know why you came back,” she said. “It’s no different than before. What makes you think it is?”
He looked bewildered. “You think I came back here for the newspapers?” he asked. He shook his head slowly. “Kellen, I don’t care about the newspapers anymore.”
“Then why did you come?”
He hesitated. “At first, I wasn’t sure. I thought that maybe by seeing you one last time I could finally put an end to it. But when I saw you at that party I knew I couldn’t. I saw something in your face that told me it wasn’t over.”
“What is it you want, Garrett?” she asked.
“Another chance,” he said.
“I have a husband. I love him,” she said.
“Like you love me?” he asked. “Like I still love you?”
She looked away quickly. She had come to see him not knowing what to expect. An apology perhaps, but not this. Not, after all these years, an admission of love.
“Stephen and I have a family,” she said. “We have...a history together. You and I never had anything together.”
“My God, how can you say that?” Garrett said. “We had the one thing everyone looks for. We had passion, great wonderful passion.”
“That’s not enough for a life together.”
“How do you know? We never really had a chance to find out.” He paused. “Remember that poem you used to quote to me all the time in Paris, the one about roman candles? That’s what we could have had together. A life like that.”
She took a step back and felt the rocks against her back. She had forgotten that poem and was shocked that he hadn’t.
He reached up and cupped her face in his hands. His lips touched hers and for a spare second she forgot where she was, who she was.
She turned her head away. “Don’t,” she said.
“Kellen -—”
“I can’t, Garrett,” she said. “I’ve got too much to lose. You’ve got no right to ask.”
Slowly, his hands dropped and he took a step back. He ran a hand through his wet hair. “You’re right,” he said. “I guess I expected you would just magically jump into my arms and that we could forget about what happened and start over. Like some old movie.” He paused. “I’m a sucker for happy endings, I guess.”
He smiled slightly but she just stared at him and his face grew somber. “I won’t bother you again,” he said. “But I’m going to stay here. At least until I’m sure there’s no chance for us. I’ll be here, Kellen, if you want me.”
She pushed herself away from the rock and edged past him. She pulled the belt of the raincoat tighter and walked away, without looking at Garrett.
She went through the archway and along the pathway between the pools. The rain was coming down harder now and she quickened her pace. At the base of the path leading back up the cliff, she paused to look back. Garrett was still s
tanding there, watching her. She turned and stumbled up the path away from him.
CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN
“It’s the answer to our problems,” Stephen said.
Kellen looked at him from across the desk. It was late and they were sitting in her office. Stephen got up from his chair and began to pace. He turned to face Kellen. “I can’t believe you worked this out yourself,” he said.
“It wasn’t exactly my idea,” Kellen said. “The Federal Communications Commission is forcing our hand. So, it’s enough money?”
“Enough to build the suburban distribution plant and more,” he said.
Kellen smiled. “Good.”
“I just wish you had told me about this ahead of time.”
Stephen’s voice had a challenging edge to it. Or perhaps her fatigue was just making her overly sensitive. “I wanted to surprise you,” she said.
“But if I had known —-”
“We’ll have the money for the plant, Stephen. What does it matter how it happened?”
A slight sadness was edging out the excitement she had felt earlier about telling Stephen about the sale of the Oakland television station. She had worked hard to put it together. Ever since she had first heard the news last week about the FCC she had been thinking about selling the station. To break up monopolies, the FCC had recently begun pressuring newspapers to sell other media holdings they had in the same market. She had not wanted to discuss the sale with Stephen until she could line up a buyer. It was a matter of pride to set up the deal herself, so she could finally prove to Stephen, to Ian, and to herself that she was capable of functioning in the corporate realm.
“I can’t believe Ian’s agreed to this,” Stephen said. “He’s fought me tooth and nail on the plant.”
“He doesn’t know yet,” Kellen said. “He’s been in Hawaii for the last two weeks. I want to keep him out of this until it’s too late for him to move. Now that Tyler’s of age I just need his vote and the deal’s done.”
“What does Tyler say?”
“I haven’t been able to reach him. He’s been on vacation, wandering through France. But I’m sure he’ll side with me. He’s due back tomorrow.”
“So’s Ian. We have a budget meeting Monday, remember?”
“Then I’ll just have to get Tyler to sign this before Ian finds out. I’ll drive up to Napa tomorrow.” She sighed heavily. She had not been sleeping well lately, not since that day she saw Garrett, and now she could think of nothing but going home and taking a hot bath.
“Kellen, are you all right?” Stephen asked. “You haven’t been yourself lately.”
“I’m just tired.”
He went to her side. “You’ve been worrying too much,” he said. “Stop worrying about Richardson.”
Kellen’s heart skipped a beat.
“He won’t get the newspapers,” Stephen said. “No matter what Ian’s up to, there’s no way they can fight both of us.”
The next day, Kellen drove to Napa. She had not visited the property since Tyler had moved in and she was taken with how charming it looked. The Victorian house had been freshly repainted in soft grays and beds of flowers had been planted. A fat tabby cat, lolling on the veranda, eyed her as she climbed the stairs. The door was open so Kellen walked in.
She saw Tyler’s suitcases in the vestibule, and she called out his name. After a moment, he emerged from the kitchen.
“Kellen, what in the world are you doing here?” he said.
Before she could reply, another voice called out Tyler’s name and a second later, J.D. Waverly appeared. When he saw Kellen, he froze. For a long time, no one said anything.
“I came to welcome you home,” Kellen said. “And to talk to you about some...I’m sorry, I should have called.”
Tyler pursed his lips, glanced at J.D., and let out a sigh. “Let’s all go into the living room,” he said.
Kellen sat on the sofa, and J.D. took a chair across from her. He was having trouble concealing his nervousness. Tyler sat down on the sofa near Kellen.
“Tyler, I’m really sorry —-” she began.
“It’s okay. Just relax.” He looked at J.D. “Kellen’s the only one who knows about me, J.D., I didn’t tell her about you. She’s always been level with me. You can trust her.”
J.D. just looked at Kellen for a moment then finally smiled slightly. “Well, I have no choice really,” he said.
There was a long silence.
“So!” Tyler said, with a quick smile. “I think we could use a drink. How about some wine?”
The next hour was awkward, but gradually everyone began to relax. Tyler told her about his and J.D.’s trip to France. Soon, dusk closed in and Tyler invited Kellen to stay for dinner.
During dinner, Tyler talked animatedly about his trips to the great wineries of Burgundy. He said he was going back in the fall for intensive study. “I have so much to learn,” he said, shaking his head. “So I’m going to hire good people to help me. J.D.’s already got me going on that.”
Kellen looked at J.D., who had been watching Tyler with a small smile, letting him do all the talking.
“All I suggested was that you get a good business manager and a lawyer so that you won’t get taken advantage of,” J.D. said. He looked at Kellen. “Your brother is the typical artist. It’s hard to get him to listen to the mundane aspects of running a business.”
“He’s a dreamer,” Kellen said.
“Has he told you the ideas he has for this place?”
Kellen shook her head, glancing over at Tyler, who was now quiet.
“Well, go get your sketches,” J.D. said to him with a smile.
Tyler left and returned with a portfolio, placing it before Kellen. “I think,” he began, pulling out sketches, “that someday California wines will be just as popular as French wines. Some of them are just as good now but people are too snobbish to realize it. Or too intimidated to know the difference. So, I’m going to produce the best wine I can. And make it irresistible.”
“But accessible,” J.D. added.
The sketches showed the old winery and nearby stables refurbished with the grounds tastefully rearranged to accommodate parking and picnic areas. “The winery will be redone so people can take tours and classes,” Tyler said. “The stable will be a gift shop. We’ll sell the wine, some cheese, maybe some good glasses.”
“But no T-shirts,” J.D. said.
Tyler grinned. “No T-shirts.”
Kellen stared at the sketches in disbelief. “Tyler,” she said softly. “This is remarkable.”
“Show her that other sketch you did,” J.D. said.
Tyler pulled a small sketch from the bottom and handed it to Kellen. It was of a wine bottle label, a simple design in blue and gray that showed a stylized bird in flight, and in silver letters: Ingram Hills.
“That’s what I’m calling it,” Tyler said. “I didn’t want to trade on the Bryant name so I’m using your mother’s maiden name. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I’m honored, Tyler,” Kellen said. “I like your plan. I really do.”
Tyler gathered the sketches together. “I’ll put these away and be right back,” he said, leaving the room.
Kellen and J.D. sat silently for a moment. “I wish I had one ounce of your brother’s creativity,” J.D. said. “Maybe I’d be a better politician.”
Kellen smiled and took a drink of her wine.
J.D. cleared his throat. “Kellen,” he said hesitantly, “no one knows about Tyler and me. No one knows I’m gay.”
“Look, J.D -—”
“Tyler thinks I shouldn’t try to hide it. He’s coming out and he thinks I should, too.” He paused. “I want to, for him if nothing else. But I’ve worked very hard to get where I am.” He took a breath. “I love what I do and I’m vain enough to think I can somehow make a difference.”
He took a sip of wine. “I’ve only known your brother for a short time but I’ve come to care about him very much.” He smiled slightly. �
�I’m a driven, self-centered man, and Tyler’s been good for me. He brings something out in me, an unselfishness, like I want to be there for him.”
Kellen smiled. “I know what you mean.”
“I’m not ashamed of what I am,” J.D. went on. “But I can’t count on people understanding. I don’t even know how you feel about it so I have to trust you. I have to keep this part of my life secret. I’ve got too much to lose.”
J.D.’s gray eyes were locked on hers, and Kellen realized he expected some kind of response from her. She believed J.D. was sincere. And in just this one evening she had seen for herself the affection between her brother and this man. She recognized now that Tyler had found something with J.D., a contentment that she had always assumed would be denied to him.
“I understand,” she said.
Tyler came back in the dining room. “So what were you two talking about in my absence?” Tyler said.
“Politics,” J.D. said, with a smile. “Just politics.”
Soon after, J.D. left the room so Tyler and Kellen could discuss the business about the radio station. Tyler signed the papers. It was almost ten by the time Kellen got ready to leave. She said good night to J.D., and Tyler walked her out to her car, carrying his wineglass.
The air was warm and it was quiet except for the crickets. The stars were strung together like translucent white ribbons in the black sky.
“I like him, Tyler,” Kellen said.
Tyler looked at her, his finger tapping the edge of the empty glass, a gesture of nervous joy. “I’ve given you a lot to worry about over the years,” he said.
She shrugged. “That’s what family’s for.”
Tyler glanced back at the house. “I know I’ve only known J. D. for a little while but it’s different this time, Kellen. It’s like we’ve always known each other. Like we just belong together.” He gave her a puzzled smile. “You have any idea what I’m talking about?”
She stared at her brother. “Yes,” she said softly.
Kellen hesitated then put her arms around Tyler, hugging him tightly.
Finally, Tyler pulled away, his eyes on the ground. “Drive carefully,” he said.
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