CHAPTER 15
Ilyana:
I spend all the time I can possibly stand in the bath tub, my fingers are wrinkled and my skin is all red and flushed from the heat, I have applied deliciously scented lotion to my whole body, paying special attention to my elbows, knees and ankles and I even managed to use the tooth whitening strips that I found after Alya’s big shopping spree for me. I emerge from my bathroom, hopeful that I will find the guys asleep. I am not at all prepared for what is waiting there for me when I open the door though.
I nearly fall to the ground as Alya rushes ahead to hug me “Ahhhh, Ilyana, you are doing SO well! I have been waiting around a half hour and I almost couldn’t even hear any of your waves! Whatever you are doing is working!” though the timing is terribly inconvenient, I am happy to see her so I hug her back “Thanks Alya, I don’t know what I am doing, but hopefully I figure it out soon so I can keep doing it and you can come around more again.” For a moment she looks upset and I realize she has the same tendency as her brother to take on extra responsibility for everything that goes wrong so I continue on “But I am so grateful you are here tonight! What brought you here this evening?” She reaches for her bag which is resting on my bed and pulls out a bunch of girly salon stuff and a few chick flicks “A little birdy told me that you could use some help relaxing!” I laugh at the thought – Alya could be described in so many ways, but relaxing is not one of them. I know that I have Levi or Ephraim to thank for this.
She asks me to pick a movie so I opt for “Chocolat” it might be romantic which is exactly what I don’t want right now, but anything with Johnny Depp is preferable to a movie about a couple growing old and dying in one another’s arms – I still haven’t figured out how that is really romantic as is. She smiles approvingly and pulls my computer chair over and instructs me to sit in it after starting the movie. Then I see the scissors come out “Ummm, what exactly are you planning to do with those, Alya?” she waves off my concern and I know I have no choice in the matter “I am going to give you a haircut! I am really great at it and it looks like you haven’t had one in some time – I promise you are going to love it.” She is already combing out my freshly washed hair so I decide to just keep my mouth shut and let her get to work.
I intently watch the movie while she intently cuts my hair, paints my nails and gives me a facial – I find myself wondering what the point of the facial is, since Nephilim have flawless, self-healing skin as is, but the minty smelling paste begins to tingle against my skin and it feels so good, I don’t even bother. As we are watching the movie, I keep finding myself scoffing at all of the sappy romantic parts, real life romance is never quite so simple – at least not in my very limited experience. After she finishes cleaning up the hair all around me she pauses the movie and swivels the chair to face her “Is there something you would like to discuss?” immediately my mind flashes back to Kailand, but I realize there is no way she could know about any of that. So, I carefully respond “I don’t think so, is there something you would like to discuss?” she rolls her eyes “Don’t be like that with me! One girl in the woods with two attractive men for two weeks, scoffing at all of the best parts in this movie… Something has happened, so spill.” I am surprised at how much she has picked up on but then I realize living for 4000 years (give or take) probably lends itself to quite a high dose of women’s intuition.
I try to think of what I can tell her that won’t be completely weird, since her brother is one of the main characters in this little sideshow. “Alya, I really don’t know what to say that won’t be really awkward for the both of us.” She sits back for a minute and turns the TV completely off “I knew it, so it’s Ephraim then. So what happened? You were going to hit it and quit it and then your feelings got the best of you and now you are stuck?” I am taken aback by her human expressions and vulgarity I clear my throat “I am not exactly the hit it and quit it type. No.” she catches my frustration and quickly back tracks “I’m sorry, Doll. I didn’t mean to imply that you are. I keep forgetting how young you are, when you have lived as long as I have, you begin to notice a pattern – usually it’s that our attention doesn’t hold for very long. It wasn’t personal.” I settle back into my chair and think about my words carefully before I say them “We kissed, a lot. But something didn’t quite feel right.”
She looks like she completely understands and even would’ve expected that. I wait for her to speak, but she doesn’t say anything so I continue on “He’s so brave and strong, and just about perfect. But, something in me, doesn’t feel nearly as attached to him as I do to the idea of being kissed and touched and cared for. It’s like I want those things, and I like those things with him, but beneath the surface I’m not sure if I really want to keep having those things with him and I just don’t understand why. It’s awful too because when he’s not being all gentle and sexy and sweet, he is brooding and fighting and arrogant. I never know who I will get, but I am not exactly satisfied with either.” My cheeks start to blush when I remember she is his sister and I am being a tad too open but she doesn’t act at all taken aback she looks to the side “Well, is their someone else that you think would be better suited for kissing and fooling around with than Ephraim, perhaps?” I am surprised by the bluntness of her question as the only other person I know is Levi, and the thought of being with him like that is complete lunacy, but then I think of Kailand, I can admit he is gorgeous but he is an arrogant prick who also happens to be in prison, which really doesn’t say much about my taste in men.
Then I remember something I needed to ask her so I decide to tread past this conversation quickly so I can get to it “No, I don’t really I think I want anyone in his place – including him, for now.” She looks slightly relieved for a moment but before I ask her about it she continues on “Well, if I was in your shoes I know what I would do.” I looks at her quizzically and she continues on “I would just take it for what it is, kiss a little, fight a little fu…” I place my hand up before she can finish “I get the picture, Alya. But that’s not me and I can’t do that to Ephraim – he’s more important than that.” She looks confused for a minute “Oh, Doll. He hasn’t explained to you about being a half breed, has he?” I think back on our conversations and remember him using the term, but we never revisited what it meant so I tell her as much and she continues on.
“A half breed is a very powerful form of Nephilim, physically, he is far stronger than you or I – even though he is my brother, we share only a mother. His father raped my mother and that resulted in his conception. His father was one of the demons. A number of years ago, we were at war and some of the demons had crossed into our territory, many of the stories you hear of Vikings are actually about our people. When there is a war in the Nephilm world, it is the same as it is in the human world, there is pillaging, fighting, murder and even rape.” I feel my heart sink when I imagine all that their mother went through, I don’t even believe I have the right to know anything more, but she continues on “Many of the half-breeds are retrieved by the demons after birth, but my mother and father had countless connections and were able to convince the Counsel to help hide Ephraim. My father was a good man, he loved my mother very much and he didn’t want others to think less of her when they heard how Ephraim was conceived. So he convinced the counsel to hide Ephraim in plain sight. They agreed to give him 18 years to lie and say Ephraim was his own, he went through our typical training and though he was good at combat, he always fell behind in skill and ability training. When he turned 18 years old, it was time for him to pay a debt to the counsel, since then, he has worked tirelessly as their hound, he is physically the strongest being we have on the Island, so he gets sent on dangerous missions and when the elders are occasionally called upon to travel, he is expected to escort them. It was his mission to find the one, because they believe he was all that could withstand your power.” I think back on when I met him and realize he was completely alone and tattered looking, Alya didn’t show up for a
t least an hour behind him, if not more. I am shell-shocked, but she isn’t done telling the story “I thought they were sending him on a suicide mission and fought the counsel every step of the way, when he called us after finding you, I was so relieved. You were the best surprise we could’ve received and now his debt to the counsel has been paid so he is now free to come and go as he pleases.”
She gives me a look of gratitude and I am shocked at her ability to accept me after thinking I would mean his end. She loves him so much and I feel so honored to have her friendship after multiple lifetimes of her fearing the stories she heard of me and what they would mean for her brother. I realize that none of this is really tying together though “So, what does this have to do with him kissing me?” she sits up straighter “Oh! Yes, so half breeds. Well, each of our species was created for a purpose, humans to serve and care for the world around them, Angels to protect the humans and demons to essentially be errand boys for the Angels. They were supposed to act without thinking or feeling, they don’t form any attachments, that is actually a characteristic limited to humans, even Angels – as great as they are, do not form attachments to humans, they may be amused by some people or proud of a job well done with others. But they are transient by nature, they don’t die and humans do, so it is necessary for them to remain unattached.” I realize what she is saying and interject “So you are saying that Ephraim is not the marrying type then?”
She laughs at my question and then answers “Well, I should say not, but it is deeper than that. He does care and have a strong sense of duty. He may even be able to love – I’m not really sure honestly. But in the Angel world and the Nephilim world, there is one thing that remains consistent, the ability to bond ourselves to a mate. Some say it is of our choosing, others say that your mate chooses you, it hasn’t happened in generations – and I have never experienced it, so I don’t know what I think. But, your mate is supposed to invigorate you. Not only do you love them, bond with them and produce children with them, but a sense of faithfulness and obligation is sparked in you, you fiercely protect one another and anchor each other. It is not just something Nephilim and Angels want, it is something that we all need at some point or another, and once that bond is created, it is not easily broken. In fact, I am not even sure if breaking that bond is possible at all.”
I realize what she is saying and as much as it saddens me, I realize that it somehow makes sense. The reason I can’t connect to him. It’s because somewhere my psyche knows that it will need something more, something that he can’t offer me. I don’t want that for him though, I want him to love and bond and mate.
She sees my troubled expression “I don’t see how this is bad news, Ilyana! This means you can have the best of both worlds, his touches and kisses and companionship, minus all of the messy attachments!” I am outraged at her suggestion and immediately rise to my feet and my voice rises without even trying, I point to the door “That man out there is worth something! Nephilim, Half-Breed, demon or human – it doesn’t matter, he is important and I would never use him, or anyone for that matter, like you are suggesting. I may not have lived for 4000 years, I may not have traveled the world, but I know enough about it to say that what you are suggesting is fundamentally wrong and could only result in pain, not only for me, but for your brother!” I begin pacing the room and she follows. She catches my eye and at first she is regarding my like a rabid lion, but then she changes her tone and says something that I don’t think either of us expect “You’re right, Doll. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to sound callous and the last thing I want is for anyone to get hurt, I guess I just thought that maybe Ephraim could get some fun out of it too, especially since he will never be mated to anyone and eventually you will. Time has this way of making you numb, you don’t see everything in black and white, it all turns into a bunch of gray areas, but I can see why my thoughts might be a little troublesome for you to swallow.”
I massage my temples and shut my eyes “I forgive you, Alya. I am the one that should’ve kept my mouth shut, of course you wouldn’t want your brother hurt, this is just a lot of information.” She agrees with me and then grabs me by the shoulders to spin me around and show me my hair for the first time “It’s a pity your new style can’t be put to use right away, promise you’ll let me do it again?” I am taken aback, she did an amazing job, my normally unruly, long curly hair has been cut to just below my shoulders and layered with longer hair at the front and slightly shorter in the back, for the first time in my life, I look like an adult. I eagerly agree to her conditions and decide to make one of my own “Alya, can you bring me back some books about the original counsel, particularly Antony?” she whips me around and looks me in the face. I immediately realize I said too much “What do you know of Antony? I don’t even know if those stories are true.” She looks upset and confused “I don’t know, I think I just saw the name on one of the books the guys brought here, I never really read about it though, it just stuck out and I wanted to know more.” I sound like an idiot, I have always been a terrible liar, but fortunately 4000 years on earth hasn’t turned her into a human lie detector, she regards me carefully and releases my shoulders “I’ll see if I can find anything for you when I come back soon. My head is starting to hurt a little now though, so I need to head back a recoup for the night.”
We say our goodbyes and I thank her for the information she gave me and the haircut I got as she hugs my neck and leaves. I wanted to go see Kailand tonight but I look at the clock on the wall and see that it is nearly 2am and the house is silent. I will have to train with two eager instructors in a few short hours and as pathetic as it sounds, I can’t sacrifice sleep right now. I make my way back to bed and fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.
The Fallen Ones Page 16