by T. K. Chapin
CHAPTER 12
When I awoke the next day, I slothfully ventured into the kitchen to find a note attached the morning paper. It read: Move out!!! Oh the joy of Nicole’s mother and her unyielding love. No wonder her daughter needs the hard drugs I thought to myself as I poured a cup of steaming hot coffee. I had picked up the habit of drinking coffee after I began working a full time job. Working forty hours a week in addition to trying to grasp at any kind of social life required a little extra caffeine in my life.
“You get my note?” Nicole asked, coming into the kitchen. Turning around, I was surprised to learn it was her who had left it.
“That wasn’t your Mom?” I glared at her from across the kitchen.
“No. Your stunt last night almost screwed everything up!”
“It wasn’t my stunt, you weren’t leaving the party! When I got home and everyone was asleep… I figured it kind of blew over.”
“Yeah, it blew over after I said you freaked out and ran off to go screw around with some dude.”
“You lied about me?” I asked, slamming my cup of coffee down.
“I didn’t know what else to do!” She shouted.
“Well throwing me under the bus shouldn’t have been your first choice!”
“Who cares? You’re moving out anyways… it’s no big deal.” Nicole began to get into the fridge and retrieve the pitcher of orange juice.
“Uh, how people view me is important,” I replied, coming around the counter.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nicole asked approaching.
“Nothing… Nevermind.”
Slamming the fridge door, she also slammed the pitcher down. “Here,” she said grabbing a muffin off the counter. “Why don’t you eat some more and tell me about how others view you is important!”
Her words cut through me like shards of glass. She knew I had been struggling with gaining weight since I started at the call center. Working so often and being on my butt the majority of my days resulted in a weight gain I was trying to avoid thinking about. “How could you?” I said smacking the muffin out of her hand and pushing past her.
Following after me into the living room, she hovered as I began furiously packing my stuff. “Where are you going?” She asked with a laugh. “You don’t have anywhere to go!”
Turning back to her with tears welling up in my eyes I shook my head. “What is wrong with you? You’re no different than your stupid Mom! Just a witch!”
“Take it back!” she said coming around the sofa.
“No!” I shouted back at her.
“Get out of my house; I don’t want to see you again.”
Stopping, I looked back at her as she was walking out of the room. “What do you think I’m doing? I’m packing and I’ll be gone!”
Continuing to gather my things, I phoned my aunt Jennie and asked if I could stay for a day or two while I get things figured out. Knowing I just needed to cash my check, I could deal with a day or two of rules. She said she could be at Nicole’s to pick me up within an hour in the pick-up truck. Dale had their suburban still up on jacks being worked on. He wasn’t super handy with vehicles, but that didn’t stop him from trying to fix them when they broke down.
While I waited for my aunt’s arrival, I sat on the porch of Nicole’s house. The clothing on my back and a couple duffle bags was my existence in the world. It would have been sadder at the time if I really thought about it, but I was more focused on getting a car and finding a way to get my own place so I could maintain my upward climb of building my new life.
Seeing that beat up blue pick-up truck turn the corner onto Madison Street that morning was a relief that I’d soon forget. As Jennie pulled up to the curb and got out, she reminded me what was ahead.
“Tomorrow’s Sunday Claire…”
I had completely spaced the fact. “So I have to go? Even though I’m seriously staying like a day or two?”
“Well you can’t cash that check tomorrow…”
“I could cash it today.”
“Claire…”
“I really don’t want to go Jennie!” Tears welled in my eyes as I rushed up to her and latched onto her. “Please… just let me skip this one time, and I’ll be out of your hair in a couple days.”
Jennie sighed. “Why are you so resistant to go to church?”
Recalling the memory like it had just happened, it was fifth grade and I was at my friend Sandy’s house. Their whole family went to a church a few blocks up the road. I had only brought a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, I didn’t think anything of it, and her parents didn’t say a word either. A little worry sank in when the rest of Sandy’s family was dressed up in suits and dresses, but I pushed it aside and figured I’d be okay. Once we got to church though and everyone was wearing dresses and suits, I felt awkward, and then the worst thing happened. Sandy and her friends made fun of me. That was the only experience I needed to make up my mind about church. “Bad experience…” I replied.
“One bad experience? That’s what holds you back?” Jennie said. “I know it might not matter, but I’m a Christian and I’ve had multiple bad experiences in churches. There is not a perfect Church out there! Just saying, Dear.”
Shaking my head, “It’s just a bunch of people who think they are better than other people, they have their beliefs and go around judging everyone, and I mean everyone as anyone who doesn’t believe or believes different.”
“Is that how you view your uncle and I?” Jennie asked, taking a step back as she crossed her arms.
“A little bit…” I said nervously.
“Tell you what. Why don’t you come with me, stay with us for a little bit and you can skip church. I’ll talk to Dale. But I don’t want you out late Claire; you have to at least respect our other rules.”
“Really? Just like that? Why?”
“Yep. I want you to see what a real Christian family looks like.” Glancing behind my shoulder at Nicole’s house, she continued, “You haven’t had the opportunity to really see how God’s love can influence a home.”
I laughed a little inside at her comment. Christian families weren’t any different than any other family. I knew plenty of good and decent people that had morals without Christianity or God. But at least I got to skip out on church and had a warm place to stay until I got a car and place figured out. “Sounds good,” I replied.
We both grabbed a duffle bag and tossed it in the bed of the truck. We headed back out to Chattaroy promptly after a phone call from Dale saying that he needed the truck to go help a neighbor with some feeding of his cows. The neighbor, Roy, had his truck die on him after leaving the dome light on the previous night. So my check had to wait until after the weekend to be cashed.
Arriving at my aunt and uncle’s farm that afternoon, Todd was waiting anxiously out on the front porch for my arrival. Rushing out to the truck, he embraced me warmly with a hug. It had been a while since my last visit out to see him and while the phone conversations were nice when they happened, it didn’t match the feeling of setting eyes on one another. So much of both our histories involved the other one, that seeing each other had a comfort and familiarity that we both longed for deeply.
“How have you been?” I asked, throwing my arm around his shoulder as we each carried a duffle bag up the steps into the house.
“Pretty good… I’m getting used to it more here,” he replied. Dale pushed open the screen door for us to come inside, and I immediately noticed a cut above his mustache.
“What happened to your face?” I asked, eyeballing the cut.
“I was born with it, it’s the only one I’ve ever had.” We all laughed.
“I meant the cut by your mustache,” I replied laughing.
He nodded and replied, “I know that’s what you meant, I was just playing. I was re-wiring a barbed wire fence and the fence line caught me a little.”
“Ouch!” I said with a cringe.
“He cried like a baby,” Jennie said following behind u
s.
“It hurt and made my eyes water. It’s a natural reaction!” He laughed.
Jennie laughed. “Come into the kitchen Claire and I’ll fix you some food.”
“Can I have some?” Todd asked joining my side in the kitchen.
“You already had cereal,” Dale said.
“I’m still hungry!”
“Get yourself a piece of fruit… that should hold you over until lunch. It’s already after ten,” Jennie said.
“Okay,” Todd replied, heading for the fruit bowl.
“So are you going to be living here?” Lizzy asked, walking into the kitchen, looking directly at me.
“For a few days I will be,” I replied.
Watching as Jennie pulled out the container that held oatmeal, I recalled weekend breakfasts with my family we would have every weekend morning. It was usually one of three different meals. There was my favorite, which was eggs benedict and hash browns; the second was a traditional style breakfast, which was eggs, hash browns, and sausage or bacon. The third option, which my mom didn’t really even cook, since my dad enjoyed doing it so much, was old fashioned oatmeal and toast. We didn’t have it very often, but when we did, my father would tell us the same story that he would tell Todd and I every time we had oatmeal, which was about how his father cooked oatmeal for him and his four siblings every day during the winter months.
“How’s the job going?” Dale asked as he took a seat at the table.
“It’s good… It sure is different working forty hours a week.”
Dale laughed a little as he smiled warmly. “It sure is. Are you working on your GED at all?”
“I’m trying to get a car and place first, and then I will be.”
Nodding, Dale looked at his watch. “I better get going.” Standing up, he went over and kissed Jennie on the cheek and told her that he loved her. Their love reminded me so much of my own parents. Pure, true and everlasting; I could see it in their eyes and feel it in their actions towards one another. I want that one day… someone to look past all my flaws and love me for me.
“See ya later Dale,” Todd said.
“Bye Daddy,” Lizzy said, rushing over to his legs and embracing him in a warm hug.
“See ya, Todd.” Looking down at Lizzy he continued, “Bye sweetie, be a good girl for your Mom and help her keep an eye on Claire.” Dale winked at me as he smiled. I didn’t see eye to eye with the guy on some stuff, but he had his moments.
“I will,” she said confidently, looking over her shoulder at me. I grinned.
I hadn’t been there more than a few minutes and I had already seen more love shown, and felt more comfortable than I ever did in the time I spent over at Nicole’s house.
CHAPTER 13
A restless night of tossing and turning resulted in me staying up until the wee hours of the morning, sulking in my misery. So that next morning while I sat at the kitchen table, I stared at the bottom of my glass of orange juice, thinking about it all. I lost my parents, my boyfriend and now my best friend. Breaking my train of thought, Todd touched my shoulder.
“You alright Sister?” He asked, leaning down to look me in the eyes.
I nodded at him and flashed him a quick smile. “Of course… I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m here if you need to talk.”
Jennie came over to the table and placed a progress report on the table from Todd’s new school out in Chattaroy. Todd tried to sneak out, but I grabbed his jacket. “Wait a second there peep squeak.”
“I didn’t want to upset you yesterday after you had just got here… but I felt like you should know.”
He was failing almost every class with the exception of gym, in which he was only getting a C plus. Shaking my head, I was in disbelief. My brother had never been less than an A student his entire school career thus far. “What’s going on Todd? And how on earth do you get a C plus in gym?”
Todd began leaving the room and I chased after him out onto the back porch through the screen door. Shutting the door behind me as I stepped out, Todd leaned his forearms against the wood railing that wrapped around the porch and looked out into the rains that were coming down quite strongly. Joining his side, I leaned against the railing also and just shared the silence for a moment.
“I can’t focus on school anymore…” He said, breaking the silence between us.
Placing an arm around him, I let his head fall onto my shoulder. “It has to be hard.” I knew I couldn’t go back to school myself after my parents died, but I didn’t want that for Todd. I wanted him to do better than I did.
“It is hard… I was a straight A student before mostly because I wanted to make Mom and Dad happy… but now it just feels so… pointless.”
“It’s not pointless. Mom and Dad would want you to keep doing well in school.”
“Why’d you drop out if you think school isn’t pointless?”
“It’s complicated.” I took a deep breath in and exhaled. “Don’t make the mistake I did… I’m saying that from a place of love.”
Looking over my shoulder, I saw my mom’s teddy bear sitting on the bench. Walking up to it, I picked it up and turned to Todd. “This was Mom’s…”
He nodded. “I know… Dale told me about it.”
“That’s strange it was out in the woods, huh?”
“Sure.” Todd turned, and began to go inside, but I stopped him by standing in his way. “What?” He asked.
“Try to do a little better in school, okay?”
“You’re not Mom, don’t try to act like her,” he snapped, side stepping me and going inside.
“Where is this coming from? What’s going on with you?”
“I’m mad at you Claire… you should stop acting like you care when you only come out here every once in a while…” The sound of the door slamming tensed my muscles as Todd continued inside.
What is wrong with that kid? Why can’t he just be happy and enjoy life? Sitting down on the bench with a feeling of defeat, I stared at my mother’s bear. I could picture her as a little girl and running around out in the woods with her friends. Laughing, frolicking… just being a kid. Todd needed to just be a kid and worry about doing good in school, not be stressing over me and losing our parents.
Then breaking my concentration, Joshua walked up the porch steps, startling me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, standing up quickly, leaving the teddy bear behind on the bench. The morning rain was dripping from his hair and his jacket was sopping wet. He looked rather attractive in the moment.
“I’m here to pick up Nick. We need to help get Floyd’s pick-up truck out of the mud.”
“You can’t just pull it out with your truck?”
Joshua laughed. “Not exactly, it’s in a strange spot… he’s here right?” Peering past my shoulder at the door, he smiled again. “Mind if…?”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” I replied, stepping out of his way.
Watching as he walked by me and smiled, I smiled back at him. Then I remembered the cats. “Hey, are the cats okay?”
He nodded. “They are doing good, why aren’t you at Nicole’s?”
“She kicked me out… it got ugly.”
“Ouch.” Glancing back inside, he said, “I better go.” He went inside to get Nick.
Joshua smiled at me on his way back out to the truck with Nick. When he was backing out of the driveway, he suddenly stopped and rolled down his window. Shouting through the pouring rain, he said, “Claire!”
“Yeah?” I asked, leaning off the porch railing.
“Macy came back, and is doing awesome!” He had a big grin on his face. “I checked in on them this morning.”
I beamed. “Awesome!”
He nodded and ducked back into the truck to leave.
Going inside the house, the Vander family was already in full swing in church preparations that morning. I took a seat comfortably on the couch and soon found myself getting lost in one of my favorite cooking shows. The chef was making a
chocolate fondue that looked like something I’d want to swim in.
“Hey,” Todd said coming down the stairs.
“What’s up?”
Coming over to the couch, he sat down. “I’m sorry about earlier… My emotions are volatile right now.”
“It really upset me. I care about you.”
“And I know that.” He leaned in and gave me a hug. “I love you Sis and I know you love me. I’ll work on my grades.”
“I do, very much so, and thanks,” I replied smiling.
Todd went back to get ready upstairs and my tummy grumbled in hunger. I decided to make a trip to the kitchen for my second bagel of the day. Jennie was at the kitchen table braiding Lizzy’s hair. It made me remember when my mom would braid my hair for school when I was in elementary school. My hair was often a mess from the night before and would require a generous amount of detanglar spray and a vigorous brushing before braiding could start.
“We’re out of milk,” I said as I poured myself a glass.
“Okay, we’ll pick some up after lunch on our way home,” Jennie said.
“Lunch?” I asked.
“We always go out to lunch after church,” Dale said coming into the kitchen as he fixed his tie straight.
“It’s the best day of the week!” Lizzy chimed from standing idle in front of her mother as her hair was being braided. “We get to go to church and out to lunch!”
“Ahh I see…” I replied. “Incentivizing church…”
“It’s just a tradition,” Jennie said.
The home phone began to ring. “That’s strange,” Dale said, walking over to it. He didn’t even check the caller ID.
“Hello?” He said.
“Oh yeah…” Dale sighed.
Glancing over at me, Dale continued, “I’ll send her over.”
Hanging the phone back up on the hook, Dale asked, “Would you mind going and helping the boys with the truck? They need one more set of hands…”
“Me?” I asked, confused. “I don’t think I’d be much help.”
“They just need you to sit in the truck and hit the gas. Just take my work truck over there.”
“Okay… Are the keys in it?”