Claire's Hope: A Contemporary Christian Romance (Love's Enduring Promise Book 3)

by T. K. Chapin

  Glad to see that Joshua wasn’t already at work, I was able to slip inside undetected. Venturing through the cubicles I got strange looks from my co-workers. What’s their deal? I wondered as I took a seat at my desk. Michelle got up from her cubicle and came over to me.

  “Congratulations on the baby,” she said into my ear. I was mortified she knew. She came from a Catholic background and once told me in training how lucky I was not to have any children. She said, “Count yourself as lucky to not have any kids. They hold you back.” I found the statement rather offensive to mothers, but I kept my quiet about it when she spoke it.

  Turning to her, I forced a fake smile to match hers. “Thanks… who told you?”

  “I heard it from Tessa, but she said she heard it from Nicole…”

  “Oh jeez.” I gave her a cold shoulder as I logged into my phone and got set up for the day ahead of me. She took my hint and returned to her desk. Glaring over the direction of Nicole’s empty desk, I was infuriated she would just tell people.

  A hand suddenly rested on my shoulder. Turning, I saw it was Mikey. “Woah… you do exist.” I laughed.

  “Claire… I need you to come into my office.”

  That can’t be good I thought to myself as I set my phone to busy.

  “Go ahead and log out of your phone.”

  Now that was a sure fire sign that something was majorly wrong. Logging out of my phone, I got up and nervously followed Mikey into his office. He shut the door behind me as I came in. Laughing from my nervousness, I said, “This seems scary.”

  “Well…” He said sighing heavily as he went behind his desk and took a seat. “It’s not good Claire.”

  “What’s not? What’s wrong?”

  “We’re going to have to let you go.”

  “What? Why? I don’t want to go…”

  Shaking his head, he opened a desk drawer and dropped a paper onto his desk. “Unless you want to go do this urine analysis…”

  “For what?”

  “Drug use.”

  “Drugs? Why would you test me for drugs?”

  “We have to pursue any complaints or suspicions that come into corporate and there had been some concerns about your behavior…” His words trailed off. I could tell by the displeased look on his face he had no involvement.

  “From a customer?”

  “Not at liberty to disclose that.” His eyes shifted to the window that overlooked the office, I knew right then it was one of my co-workers.

  Who? I wondered looking at the sea of cubicles. Who would complain about me and give them suspicion I was on drugs? Smacking the table, I said, “This is stupid. Just tell me who it was Mikey!”

  “Look, you can do the test if you’re clean…”

  “You know as much as I do Mikey that I’m not clean. I did give it up, but it’s not out of my system.”

  “I’m so sorry Claire…” he said folding his hands together and dipping his chin. “It wasn’t up to me.”

  Another kick came from Hope and this time I wasn’t so happy, I instead became frightened. I began crying as I cupped my hands over my eyes. My voice broke as I tried to speak. “What am I going to do? I’m pregnant!”

  Standing up from his desk, he came around to the side of me and hugged me for a moment before releasing. “I don’t know.”

  Shaking my head, I stood up. Rushing through the cubicles, I was so upset that I left behind the picture of Todd and I that I had kept on my desk and hurried out to the parking lot to my car.

  As I began backing out of my spot, I glanced in the rearview mirror to see Kelsey standing there. Rolling down my window, my eyes were red, my heart was aching and tears ran down my cheeks. “What Kelsey?” I asked.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No, I’m not okay. Mikey just fired me!” I began crying harder.

  She looked down at her feet for a moment and then looked up at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No, I don’t want to talk about it!” I shouted, rolling up my window. Nobody understands what I’m going through.

  Peeling out of the parking lot, I hurried back to the shelter. Seeing Sophia sitting in a chair outside her room smoking, I got out and tried to make a beeline for the door, hoping she would take the hint. She didn’t, instead she tried to stop me.

  “Hey,” she said, before I could open my door quick enough. Without a word, I looked over at her. She dropped her cigarette and quickly came over to me. “What’s going on?” Shaking my head, I pushed open my door and tried to go inside, but she stopped the door from shutting. “Chicka! You gotta talk to someone; you can’t just bottle this up, I can tell you’re upset.”

  “Watch me,” I replied pushing her arm out of the way, I slammed the door shut behind me. Letting my back rest against the door, I slid down it as I began crying again. Why can’t my life just start going upwards for a change? Why’s all this bad stuff keep happening to me? I can’t go on living like this! Suddenly I felt another kick from Hope. Then another. And another. Wait, these aren’t kicks I thought to myself, they’re hiccups! She has the hiccups. My sorrow turned into happiness as I began to smile and wipe the tears away. I have to hold on for my baby. Resting my hands on my tummy, I felt her hiccups from the inside and out, knowing that no matter what I can’t give up on Hope or myself.

  Collecting my thoughts, I was able to fix my make-up and prepare for the visit to the jail. I knew it might be awkward seeing the man who beat me nearly to death, but I had no idea what I was in-store for that afternoon. It could go terribly or it could go well. Either way, I was ready for anything.

  Arriving at the jail, my nerves were settled by the quiet and peaceful lobby that I sat in while I waited to go back and see Matt. While the lobby wasn’t bad, the memories were of the day he hurt me, and they all came flooding into my mind as I waited. I never felt so powerless like I did that day and having it resurface again was painful. What if he hates me? I hated the thought of someone hating me.

  My memories jumped to when I was lying on the bed and seeing my brother hurt, it killed me inside to not be able to help him in that moment he needed me most. How could I not have seen the warning signs in Matt? What’s going to help me with future guys?

  Walking into the visitation room, I saw round tables scattered throughout. There were a few other inmates at a couple of the tables talking to people. Then I saw him, sitting at a table looking at me with a smile. I almost didn’t recognize him with his long straggly hair and beard. Surprisingly, he was more muscular than before.

  “Hey…” he said softly as I took a seat.

  “Hi…” I replied.

  My palms were sweaty from being so nervous. It was silent between us for a moment before he spoke. “I know it’s probably not much use… but I’m sorry for what happened.”

  “I didn’t come here to hear you apologize to me Matthew.”

  He jumped a little, but the restraints kept him locked in the chair. It frightened me and caused me to jump a little in my own seat. The rest of the people in the room looked over at us as they all went silent. “Quit looking,” Matt growled at them.

  The guards nearby leaned down into his ear and said, “Chill out Jensen.”

  Matt scowled at the guard before looking back over at me. Tilting his head as he leaned in across the table, he said, “You can fix this, just tell them the truth.”

  “What? They already know the truth. You beat me. Wait… Are you nuts? You apologized like two seconds ago.”

  Glancing over at one of the guards, he leaned in closer and said, “You can tell them the truth about how you fell into the doorway and got hurt and then how you fell outside and got hurt some more.”

  “What are you talking about? It didn’t happen like that…”

  “Yeah, it did.” His eyebrows went up. “Just tell them the truth and all this can get fixed. We can be together.”

  “I’m pregnant with your child,” I blurted out.

  He leaned back into his seat.
“What did you just say to me?”

  “I said, I’m pregnant and it’s yours.”

  He looked down at the table as he appeared to think before he chose his next words. “See baby, you can fix all this and we can all be a happy family… otherwise I’m going to go to jail and our baby won’t ever see their Daddy…”

  My friend Kevin never knew his dad because he was in jail his whole life. He often would talk to me about how he wished his father was around, he wondered if his life would be different with a dad in it. Looking down at my tummy, I thought about Hope. Did I want her to never see her dad? No. He made a mistake, but that didn’t mean she should grow up without a dad. “I don’t want to keep her from seeing you…”

  “Just call the prosecutor and fix this mess,” he replied, leaning back in across the table. “Give our baby the family it deserves.” Reaching with restraints, he was able to touch my hand that was on the table. “His name is John DeMarco.”

  “I know who he is; I called him to have the NCO adjusted. And okay…” I replied. “I’ll think about it…”

  “Time's up,” a guard said coming to the table with a guard by his side. They both undid Matt’s restraints and began taking him away.

  Looking back at me, he said, “Forever and always.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Mikey phoned me later that night and let me know that my final check would be ready for me to pick up in the morning. So the next day I went in to pick it up at the call center. Seeing Mikey again wasn’t something I really wanted to do, he tried to go on and on about how he had a sister with a friend back in Georgia that went through the same thing I was going through, and she came out the other side stronger than ever and ended up as a president of some Pharmaceutical company. I listened, but didn’t care. Once he handed me the check, I was out of there.

  On the way back out of the call center, while walking through the parking lot, Joshua was getting out of his car. I tried turning to hide myself, but he saw me and started walking my way.

  “Hey Claire,” he said, trying to catch up to me.

  Stopping at my car door, I took a deep breath, relaxed my shoulders and turned around. “Hi Joshua.”

  “I’ve tried your phone like a hundred times, why won’t you talk to me?”

  “Just tell me the truth, did you tell someone at church I was pregnant?”

  “No…” He shook his head as he tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it away from him. “I already told you that I didn’t tell anyone… Why would you think that?”

  “I heard some of the youth girls in the bathroom talking and-”

  “Really? About someone being pregnant and you assumed it was you? There’s a girl in the youth group that is pregnant. Is this why you ran away from Dale and Jennie’s? They are heartbroken…”

  Shaking my head, I replied, “That was part of it… but I just needed to get away. I need to live on my own.”

  “What about us?” He asked, trying for my hand again.

  “Stop trying to grab my hand!” I pulled it away. “There is no us.”

  “What about our kisses? I know what I felt and I saw that you felt it too!” He said, taking a step back.

  “It was nothing… you were a cute distraction.”

  “Seriously? You didn’t feel anything for me?”

  “No…” I pushed by him and began to get in my car.

  My window was already down and he leaned in. “I don’t buy it. You’re lying to me.”

  He was calling my bluff so I had to up the ante to get him to leave me alone. “I’m pregnant with Matt’s baby… and I’m going to help Matt get out of jail so he can be a part of our child’s life. We are going to be one big happy family, so there really isn’t a place for you, do you understand that?”

  Joshua stood up as he seemed to process what I had said, remaining silent.

  “That’s what I thought.” Putting the car in reverse, I burned rubber out of the parking lot. By then I had tears racing down my cheeks. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. I wasn’t really going to help Matt, but I wanted Joshua to get away from me. He was a good church boy and didn’t need sucked into my downward spiral. Touching my tummy, I said, “We don’t need other people in our life. Just me and you Hope.”

  I had hurt Joshua and I felt bad about it. He just wouldn’t back off of me and I didn’t know how else to get him to leave me alone. When I arrived back at the shelter, I saw Sophia sitting outside smoking again. Does she just chain smoke and sit here? I wondered, getting out of the car.

  She didn’t say a word this time as I went to open the door to my place. I knew I upset her previously. Looking over at her, I said, “Hey…”

  She looked my direction for a moment and then turned her head back. Walking over to her, I said, “Sorry about the other day… I just needed space.”

  “Whatever,” she said, putting out her smoke. Going back inside, she paused and said, “You can’t just keep shutting people out Claire. It’ll backfire.”

  Stepping inside, she shut the door gently. She didn’t seem mad or upset, she just seemed… sad. Was she right? Was I just shutting people out? Thinking about Bonnie at the soup kitchen, Nick on the car ride and then Joshua… I began to wonder if I was doing just that.

  Going back into my room, I sat down on my bed and opened my final paycheck. It was only a week’s worth of pay. This is going to barely cover the payment on my doctor’s visit and the insurance for my car… What am I going to do for money? Glancing outside, I saw my car… I can’t sell it. It’s reliable and I need it. Feeling my locket dangle around my neck, I grabbed onto it. I knew it was real gold and diamonds… Could I really sell it?

  Later that day, I decided to go job hunting. I went to the mall to apply to all the places there. I began filling out applications at one end of the mall and didn’t finish until I had applied to at least half of them. Most of the shops were only looking for part time, which wasn’t going to help much, but I filled out applications regardless. Any income would be better than no income. After finishing up with applications, I saw a jewelry store on my way back out. On the window there was a poster that said they buy gold.

  Going inside, I began looking into the display cases at all the rings. Each one sparkled gorgeously under the lights and I searched for the one I picked out the month after I met Matt. I wasn’t crazy; he actually took me in there and had me pick one out that I liked. It was a bridge over water design with a princess cut diamond in the center. When my eyes fell on it this time, I couldn’t help but smile. Not because of Matt, but because of how gorgeous the ring truly was.

  “Find one you like?” A woman asked, startling me.

  I shook my head, “I’m just looking.”

  She reached into the case and grabbed the exact one I was staring at. “Try it on,” she said, handing me the ring.

  Smiling, I accepted the offer. My fingers were a bit bigger than previously, so the standard ring size of seven didn’t fit like it did previously. “It doesn’t fit anymore…”

  “That’s okay, we can size it.”

  “No… I’m okay. I’m not going to buy it.”

  “Is he?” the woman asked, glancing over my shoulder.

  Turning around, I saw Joshua standing behind me. I immediately became flushed with embarrassment and shook my head as I darted out of the store past him. He came chasing after me.

  “Claire!” He said following after me.

  “Are you stalking me now?” I snapped back at him.

  “No… I was right over there in the game store picking up a reservation with Nick.”

  “And you thought you should come over and talk to me?” This guy could just not take a freaking hint! What was wrong with him?

  “Well, yeah… You seemed pretty upset this morning.”

  “Yep… and I still am.”

  “Okay. Well, sorry. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He turned and headed back to the game store and I grabbed his arm before he was out of reach.
“What Claire? You called me a stalker. You act like you’re the only person that goes to the mall.”

  “I’m sorry.” I sighed. “I didn’t mean to be rude to you now or earlier… I’m just really struggling.”

  He nodded. “I heard about what happened at work.”

  “Oh great. So now everybody thinks I’m a drug addict.”

  “What?” He replied eyes widened. “I just meant that you lost your job… You’re on drugs?”

  “No. Never mind. I got to go.” I hurried away into a nearby department store and vanished into the women’s clothing. I just admitted my drug use to the only guy I didn’t want to find out. Ugh. What is wrong with me?

  Thumbing through a random clothing rack, I felt stupid for revealing my drug use to Joshua. Great, now he knows I did drugs while pregnant. Worse yet, he thinks I’m probably still doing them! Seeing him come into the department store, I ducked. Just leave me alone! I thought to myself hiding behind a row of jeans.

  “Can I help you?” A woman asked from behind me.

  Looking up at her while still crouched, I said, “I’m fine... just looking.”

  She gave me a strange look before nodding and leaving me alone. Popping my head up over the rack of jeans, I saw the coast was clear. That guy seriously needs to stop bugging at me! I thought to myself as I re-entered the mall and went back down to the jewelry store.

  “Back again?” the woman asked behind the counter. She began going back to the spot where the ring was.

  “You don’t need to get it again,” I said as I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Joshua wasn’t around. “You guys buy gold, right?”

  “Yes…” she replied.

  “I have this necklace,” I said unhooking the necklace from my neck. I handed it to her.