Trying Not To Love You

by Megan Smith

  We pulled up to Hunter's, I ran up to the door to let them know we were here. I went to knock on the door but it opened before I could. Hunter appeared in the door; he reached for my hand and pulled me inside. As soon as the door closed behind me, he cupped my face and kissed me.

  "Wow." It was the only response I had at an ungodly hour like this.

  "Good morning." Hunter said, as he drifted his hands from my cheeks to my hips. "Damn, you even make yoga pants looks sexy."

  "I make anything look sexy." I said, winking at him.

  He groaned and brought his lips to mine again. When our tongues collided, I lost all sense as to where we were until I heard a throat clearing. Hunter either did not hear it or was ignoring it because he was not stopping. The throat cleared again and that time it caught Hunter's attention.

  Hunter shifted his shoulder back slightly so he could see who it was. Jaylinn was standing there with her hands on her hips. "Can you stop molesting her so we can go shopping? Or do you plan on keeping her tied up all day? I am sure Mason would love to…"

  Hunter cut off her off, "Shut up."

  Jaylinn laughed and walked away.

  Feeling slightly embarrassed, I said, "So, I um, guess I better get going now."

  He gave me another peck on my lips and said, "Yeah. I'll see you later."

  I followed Jaylinn and Mrs. McCormick out of the house and down the steps. At the bottom, I turned back around to Hunter. "What are you doing up this damn early anyway?"

  He gave me that smile that made me tingle and said, "Because, there was something I had to do." He turned and closed the door. I shook my head and continued to the car.

  The morning of shopping went great. I got most all my gifts bought, but still needed to get a few things before Christmas. Mom bought me a new Coach purse for my birthday, which made up for having to wake up so early. Hailey picked up a few things along with Jaylinn and Mrs. McCormick.

  We stopped for lunch before we went home, knowing we would have to start getting things ready for the baby shower tomorrow. All morning, Mrs. McCormick kept watching me. I was not sure what she was up to but something was up.

  Around lunchtime, we made it back to the house. When we walked in the front door, Jackson was pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. Mason was sitting next to Chloe, rubbing his hand up and down the right side of her back. Cooper was doing the same thing on the other side, and Hunter was holding a bucket up to her face.

  "What's going on?" My mom asked, as soon as she set her bags down on the dining room table.

  Hunter looked over at me and shook his head. Cooper said, "She's been throwing up since she woke up."

  My mom walked over to Chloe and bent down in front of her. Hunter moved back and handed my Mom the bucket. My mom said to Chloe, "Sweetie what's going on? Are you in any kind of pain?"

  Her whole body was shaking and she had goose bumps on her arms. Before she could answer, Jackson spoke up and said, "She's been throwing up since her feet hit the ground this morning. The doctor said to keep her hydrated, and if she's no better in a few hours to take her to the hospital."

  "Ok sweetie, let's get you back up to bed." Cooper and Mason both grabbed an arm and helped Chloe back upstairs while Jackson went to go get her a couple bottles of water.

  Hunter came over to me and said, "I never want to go through that bullshit. It was no wonder Jackson had not left her side since she got knocked up."

  "Yeah, she hasn't had it easy."

  Mrs. McCormick took the seat where Cooper had just been sitting. "Hey Mom, you buy me anything good?" Hunter asked.

  "Now you know I didn't. I don't like you that much." She said laughing.

  "But she bought me something, because she loves me." Jaylinn piped up from behind us.

  "Whatever." Hunter draped his arm around my shoulder, "You want to go catch a movie?"

  "Not now, maybe later. We need to get started on the gift bags for the shower." Hunter frowned at me, but we needed to get them done.

  Eventually, my mom made it back downstairs, and we all got started on the baby shower stuff. My dad and the boys all went outside to put the Christmas decorations up. By the time everything was done, we ordered pizza, and I ran upstairs to take a quick shower. After showering, I went into my room, and Hunter was sitting there on my bed.

  "What are you doing up here?" I was feeling a little uncomfortable with him being in my room. After all, we were in my parent's house.

  "Don't worry. Hailey and Mason went out to a movie, Cooper took my Mom and Jay home and your parents are too worried about Chloe to realize I'm in here."

  Well then, I guess he had everything covered.

  He got up off the bed and went over to lock the door. He stalked over to me, stopped right in front of me and lifted my chin so that I was looking up at him.

  "Am I making you nervous?" He must have felt me shivering, but it was not because I was cold.

  "No." I whispered.

  Hunter put his arms around me and started walking me backwards to my bed. The back of my legs hit the bed, and he gently laid me back. Once my head hit the pillow so did all of my emotions. I wanted him. I had wanted him forever and now here he was.

  Hunter hovered above me, not touching me. I wanted him to touch me. I slid my hands down his back and grazed my fingers under his shirt. He tensed for a second, then sat up and pulled his shirt over his head.

  Hunter was handsome with all that tanned toned skin and those damn tattoos of his. I reached up and ran my hands from his chest down to his abs. He came back down with a hand on each side of me, caging my body in with his.

  "You're killing me with this towel. I shouldn't be in here but…" he placed a kiss on my lips, "But I can't stay away either."

  As if to prove his point, he lowered his body right between my legs. I could feel him hard and thick through his jeans. I tried to move my hips to get him right where I wanted him, but he pushed his hips harder into mine stopping me.

  "Don't," he took a breath and let it out slowly, "I only have so much self-control and you're not ready yet."

  He kissed the corner of my lips, then my neck. He leaned onto his right elbow and reached down to pull my towel loose. Before he pulled, he looked up at me for permission. When he pulled the towel, the back of his hand brushed the swell of my breast and my nipples instantly went hard.

  "Damn CC." He said, just before he took one of my nipples into his mouth. He sucked and swirled his tongue around it and did the same to the other side.

  Before I could even think of what I was doing, I lifted my legs around his hips and started rocking. That earned me a moan from deep within Hunter's chest. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair.

  He dragged his lips back up my neck and then finally my lips. Our tongues collided and it was pure bliss.

  Hunter rested his forehead on mine for a few minutes and then said, "I've got to go."

  "What? Why? Don't go yet." I was starting to panic.

  "Trust me, I don't want to go but I have to go." He placed a quick kiss on my lips and then started to get up. I reached up and linked my fingers behind his neck.

  Sighing, he looked down at where my towel had fallen down a little more and he said, "CC I really have to go. This can't happen."

  Now, I let go of him and let him crawl off me. Suddenly feeling shy around him, I quickly grabbed the blankets at the foot of the bed and pulled them up to cover myself.

  "What are you doing?" He asked.

  I just shook my head at him. I could not answer him. He just told me this could not happen. I was stupid for believing that he could want me this way. He could not even tell me he loved me, but he could tell my brothers that.

  "CC, don't ok. Whatever you're thinking in that gorgeous head of yours don't." He bent down to pick up his shirt off the floor.

  I just nodded my head. He came over, gave me a kiss and said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

  "Ok."

  He walked over to the doo
r but turned around to look at me before he walked out and said "Don't think, just feel it. I know you do; I can see it on your face." He winked and walked out of the door.

  I threw myself back on my pillow and a huge smile broke out on my face.

  The next morning I woke up to a text from Hunter.

  Hunter – 7:46 am: Missed you. Hope you slept well

  Me – 9:05 am: Miss your face, I slept great

  I got out of bed, and went to get ready for the baby shower that was happening this afternoon. As I walked downstairs, I heard Chloe yell Jackson's name. Jackson ran up the stairs and right into his old room.

  "Shit! Umm ok, what do we do now?" Jackson sounded panicked.

  I walked towards their room to see what was going on. When I walked in, Chloe was sitting on the bed and Jackson was standing next to her.

  "Hey guys, what's going on?" I asked. Nothing looked wrong.

  "Umm, can you get mom? Yeah, you get mom." Jackson said

  "Kenzie, my water broke." Chloe told me.

  "Umm, yeah, I'll get mom." I said and then bolted downstairs.

  A few hours later, we were all sitting in the hospital waiting on Alex's arrival instead of being at the shower that we had planned.

  Mason, Cooper and Hunter were at Jackson's house attempting to put up the crib and Hailey was at home with her sister who had just come in this morning. I was starting to get impatient, so I decided to go take a walk to the gift shop downstairs.

  I was looking at the blue monkey, thinking about buying it for Alex when I heard Dominic's mom call my name.

  "MacKenzie, I'm surprised to see you here." When she said my name, it was like it left a bad taste in my mouth.

  "My brother's having his baby upstairs." What the hell was her problem? I did not do anything to her son; I am not the one pregnant.

  "Oh well, tell them congratulations." She picked up a Reese's, one of Dominic's favorites, and then she said, "You should visit Dominic while you're here. I'm sure he would be glad to see you."

  What? "Dominic's here?"

  "Yeah, after that boyfriend of yours damn near killed him."

  Boyfriend? Was she serious?

  "I don't have a boyfriend anymore. I had one but he couldn't seem to keep his dick in his pants." I snapped at her, and then went to pay for the monkey for Alex.

  I went back upstairs to see how things were coming along with Jackson and Chloe. Hunter, Mason and Cooper were there. I walked over to where they were whispering in the corner.

  "Oh hey, Kenzie." Cooper said placing a kiss on my forehead.

  "Any update yet?"

  "Not yet, Jackson was just out here, and he said anytime now." Mason answered.

  "Umm, Hunter, can I talk to you for a minute?"

  We walked just outside of the waiting room and I asked him, "You put Dominic in the hospital?"

  He did not look at me. Instead, he looked down at the ground and nodded his head.

  "And you didn't think it was important enough to tell me?"

  "No, he shouldn't have been talking shit. None of this would have happened in the first place."

  "Well I ran into his mom downstairs. She wasn't too happy about seeing me. She told me I should stop by and see him. He's been asking about me."

  "Yeah, like that's going to happen."

  He was right. I was not going to see him, at least not while Hunter was around. I needed to give Dominic some kind of closure so he could move on. I have moved on, and it is about time he does too.

  Jackson walked in about twenty minutes later with a huge smile on his face and his camera in his hand. He showed us all the pictures he had taken and then gave us Alex's information.

  Alex Jackson Cahill

  8lbs 9oz

  21 ½" long

  Alex was precious with chubby little cheeks and a head of dark hair just like his daddy. I could not wait to get my hands on my little nephew.

  I peaked in on my nephew before I went home for the night. I was exhausted from everything going on. I knew Chloe and Jackson were too, and they needed some one on one time with Alex.

  Everyone went back to our house where we decided to order some pizza and just hang out. Mason and Hailey had disappeared after the pizza arrived, and Cooper and Jay were sitting in the living room watching Duck Dynasty. Mom and Dad were upstairs trying to get some sleep because they were exhausted.

  Hunter and I were still sitting at the table, my legs in between his, talking and laughing about the three of them trying to put the crib together. The first attempt had the railings upside down and then they couldn't figure out how the grate that held the mattress went. He said it took them at least two hours before they had it completely put together.

  "Come away with me for New Year's?" Hunter asked.

  I stared at him trying to gauge where this was going. We always celebrated at my house with everyone, so why would he want to go away? "Where?"

  "I want to surprise you with something." He placed a kiss on my lips to keep me from arguing, because he knew I hated surprises.

  Whining, I told him, "I hate surprises Hunter; you know this."

  Smirking at me through his dark, thick eyelashes, he said, "I know but you're not going to hate this."

  I smiled and kissed him. "And what are we going to tell everyone? We don't need another argument like Thursday."

  "Let me take care of that. I know someone who can help us out." He winked at me.

  "All right, as long as everyone is ok with it."

  "Don't worry; they'll be fine with it."

  Hunter left a little after that with Jaylinn. He told me he we would come over tomorrow to pick me up because we had to head out around lunchtime to go back to school. I really was not looking forward to going back to school.

  The next morning, my mom woke me up early. I wanted to sneak over to the hospital before anyone else since I was leaving the earliest.

  "So you and Hunter huh?" She asked, just as we pulled up to the hospital. I was surprised she had not asked before now.

  I just smiled and got out of the car. I could not exactly answer her since Hunter and I actually have not made anything official. I did not want to jinx anything by talking about it too much before it actually became true.

  "Well, are you at least going to tell me what happened with Dominic?" She asked, opening the hospital doors.

  I looked down to the ground and then back up. It still hurt to talk about it. "He um…cheated on me…and got the girl pregnant. He kept telling me that he wasn't cheating on me and that I should trust him. I trusted him with all my heart, right up until the night of the party when everything fell apart.

  "Oh umm." She looked at me and then looked away.

  "It's ok, I'm fine. I was lucky enough to have everyone there with me when it all went down. It hurts, but that was just the hand I was dealt."

  Mom gave me one of her big smiles, wrapped her arms around me to give me a hug and said, "I'm sorry baby girl. Just remember everything happens for a reason. We just have to pick ourselves up, and look on the bright side of life."

  I shrugged my shoulders. While it still hurt, I was grateful Hunter was there to ease the pain away. If he hadn't been there, it would have been a lot worse.

  Mom and I visited with Jackson, Chloe and Alex for a little while before the rest of the family started showing up. Chloe really hoped her parents would show, but Jackson didn't seem to think they would. Once she had told them she was pregnant, they had completely cut her off.

  On our way back to the car, I asked mom if she would do something with me. She agreed of course, not even knowing what I was going to ask. We went back inside to the check-in counter and I asked for Dominic's room.

  My mom had a shocked look on her face. "Why is Dominic in here?" she asked when we were walking towards the elevator.

  "Umm, Hunter," I didn't know if I should tell my mom this or not, but I was sure she would have put two and two together anyway. "Hunter got into a disagreement with him on Than
ksgiving. Dominic didn't end up so….well."

  She nodded her head and asked, "Is that where he disappeared to while we were eating?"

  "Yeah, I didn't know he was here until yesterday when I ran into his mom. She wasn't too happy to see me, but she said that Dominic keeps asking about me. I want to give him closure so he can get over this. He has a kid to think about now, you know?"

  She smiled at me for a good long minute before she told me, "I'm so proud of the young lady that you're becoming. You make your dad and me so proud. I know your brothers can be a bit over the top, but they love you none the less and are proud of you too."

  Smiling I said, "Thanks mom."

  We made it to Dominic's room. While I went in, mom stayed in the waiting room. Dominic's mom was sitting in the chair at the foot of his bed. Dominic was laying there in bed with two black eyes, a broken arm and stitches on the bridge of his nose and above his eye. Wow, Hunter had really done a number on him.

  Dominic's mom looked up from the book she was reading; she took off her glasses and excused herself from the room.

  "Good luck." Dominic's mom said to me on the way out.

  Dominic looked out the window, turned to look at me and then turned his head back to the window. Maybe I shouldn't have come.

  I walked to the other side of Dominic's bed and pulled up the chair that was by the wall. He looked completely defeated.

  We sat there for a few minutes. He stared out the window and I stared at him. I really had no idea what to say to him. He must have just been thinking of what he wanted to say because he spoke up.

  He looked from the window to me. "I'm sorry MacKenzie. I didn't mean for this to happen to us. I never wanted to hurt you. You were my everything."

  "I know." I said, barely above a whisper.

  "When I left home, I was so excited to be on my own and with you in the same building every day. As the first few weeks passed, things changed. I started drinking almost every day, and going to parties with the guys. I didn't really think about anything other than that. Being a football player, the girls just kind of flocked to me. They threw themselves at me and would do anything to be with me. I got careless. Brittany started flirting with me one night at one of the parties, and I let things get out of hand. The night I was supposed to come to your brothers' party was the day I woke up with Brittany in my bed. I didn't even realize what I had done until the next morning. That's what took me so long to show up; I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't let you down again by not showing up so I made the drive anyway. I beat myself up the whole way home for what I had done, and then I got to the shore house and we couldn't even be alone. That just made me even madder. Then, you were finally on campus and in my room. I thought everything was going to be fine. When Brittany showed up, I knew it wouldn't take you long to figure it out."