"I'm fighting you? I got up so I could make you a good dinner, and you're yelling at me about it. I don't think I'm the one starting a fight here."
He sighed, pulling her to him and kissing her. At first his lips crushed hers as he kissed her angrily, but the kiss quickly turned into something else. His hands stroked down her sides and to the back of her waist, pulling her more tightly against him. He wanted her in a way he hadn't wanted a woman since Deborah died, and he hated himself for it.
For a moment, he contemplated picking her up and carrying her to his bed, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't betray his love for his late wife that way. Finally, he pulled away and stood looking down at her, his chest heaving. "Go to bed, Anna."
Before she could say another word, he'd turned away and left the room, and Anna stood watching him with her hand over her bruised lips. Why did he never kiss her except when he was angry?
*****
They moved along more calmly together for the next week, neither of them willing to discuss the kiss they'd shared or do anything to rock the boat. He knew that despite his growing feelings for her, he needed to have her around to cook and clean. More importantly, she needed his help parenting Ernie.
Ernie had changed a great deal in the time she'd lived with them. Part of it was physical, because he now wore clothing in good repair that actually fit him, and his hair had been cut short as it always should have been. The other part was emotional, though. He truly liked Anna, and he worked hard to please her. He would never have admitted to liking her, but a couple of times he'd picked flowers on their way home from working on the ranch. He'd worked on his manners, because she'd asked him to.
Jesse was content with the changes in his son, because he knew they were changes Deborah would have approved of. The more he thought about his late wife, the more he realized that she would have loved Anna. If she could have chosen a woman to marry her husband and help raise her son, Anna would have been that woman. She would have liked her for a friend, and she would have been thrilled with how she treated their boy.
Every day his feelings for Anna grew a little more, as he watched her in the kitchen washing the dishes or when she took time to read with Ernie at the end of the day. Everything she did told him that she truly cared for him and his son and made him realize that she was a good wife to him.
Finally, late on Friday of the following week, he sent Ernie home an hour early so he could take some time to think. He walked among the cattle looking over them, thinking about his Deborah. "I tried not to like her. She's a good woman, though. I think the two of you would have been friends. I feel like I'm betraying you, but then I realize that Anna was right. You'd have wanted me to love again. You wouldn't have asked me to stay single and try to raise Ernie alone. You'd have been happy with this situation, so I'm going to do my best to be the same." He took a deep breath, feeling the tears streaming down his cheeks. "I'll take things slowly, and court her like I should have to begin with. My poor Anna has never had a man act like a lovesick fool over her, and she deserves it as much as any woman would. Forgive me for moving on, Deborah, but it's the best thing for our son and for me. I'll never stop loving you."
He felt as if the words had released him somehow. A burden was suddenly off his shoulders. There were few flowers left on the ranch this late in the year, but he looked until he found some. They were red flowers that bloomed big, and he picked a few, taking them to her. He wasn't sure of their name, but hopefully she would know. He wasn't certain it would matter to her.
When he got to the house, she was putting supper on the table, and Ernie was washing his hands, chattering nonstop about the day they'd had. He spoke of the work he was doing to help on the ranch, which pleased Jesse.
"Did you bring back the lunch pail?" Anna asked Ernie. "I need to wash it out so I can send you more cookies tomorrow. I baked a cake for supper tonight, and while I was at it, I baked some cookies for the two of you to snack on during the day."
Ernie grinned. "I left it in the barn. I'll run and get it." He turned to Anna and threw his arms around her before running from the house without saying a word.
Anna stood staring at the spot where he'd been, a tear in her eye, and that's when Jesse realized that Anna truly loved Ernie. She wasn't just doing her best by him because she was supposed to. She genuinely cared for the boy.
He walked across the kitchen and held out the bouquet of flowers he'd picked, watching her take it warily. "I'm not sure what they're called, but they're pretty, and I thought you'd like them."
Anna bit her lip, staring at the flowers. "They're lovely. Thank you." But why was he picking her flowers? Did he think they would look good in the house, so he wanted them for decoration? Or did he finally decide she was good enough to be his wife?
She put them in a vase and moved them to the center of the table without asking. "They'll make a nice centerpiece for dinner tonight."
Jesse stood watching her, wishing he knew what to say to make things better between them. "Dinner smells good," he told her awkwardly, suddenly feeling shy as he realized he wanted her to be his real wife, and not just someone who cooked and cleaned and sewed for them.
"Should taste good too, I hope." He was acting odd, and she was concerned by it, but she was afraid to ask what was going on in his head. She knew she probably wouldn't like the answer.
After supper that night, Jesse offered to wipe the dishes dry, and Anna gave him a startled look. "No, thank you. I'll see to them. You work too hard all day to come home and help with my work as well."
Jesse sighed, taking a seat at the table and pulling out his knife and a block of wood. He'd been working on making a toy train for Ernie, although he wasn't entirely certain Ernie would appreciate it. He may feel like he was too old to have something that childish.
Once Anna finished the dishes, she sat down at the table opposite him, and worked on the scarf she was knitting for Ernie for Christmas. "Do you think he'll like it?" she asked, spreading it out across the table ad showing Jesse.
Jesse nodded with a smile. "He's going to love it. No one has ever taken the time to make him something like that before. Well, except me, of course, but I usually just got him something from the store. I think he's going to be a very happy boy come Christmas this year."
Anna smiled, hoping Jesse liked it as well, because he was getting an identical scarf, only a bit bigger. She hoped it would get cold enough to wear them, because so far, they hadn't seen any extremely cold temperatures yet, which was probably why Texas was such a good place to raise beef cattle. "I sure hope so."
"Oh, he will. I think he realizes just how much you care about him, and he feels very secure with you around."
Anna smiled, her knitting needles flying. She worked on Jesse's gift while the two were on the range all day, and she worked on Ernie's after supper when Ernie was upstairs in his room.
When Anna stood to go to bed that night, Jesse kissed her cheek softly. "Good night," he whispered.
A few minutes later, Anna climbed into bed, her hand tracing her cheek where his lips had brushed against it. It was the first time he'd shown her any real affection when he wasn't angry. It was amazing to her that he would do such a thing.
*****
Saturday night, after similar treatment by Jesse all evening, Anna got up and walked down the stairs. She couldn't sleep, but she'd always had warm milk when she couldn't sleep as a child, and she was sure it would work. Something had to.
When she got to the kitchen, she quietly built the fire, and set the pan of milk on it, hoping she wouldn't wake anyone. She hadn't bothered dressing before coming downstairs, because she hadn't expected to see anyone in the kitchen.
She stood at the stove, stirring her milk before carefully pouring it into a cup and turning to carry it to the table. She was startled to see Jesse, dressed in just his work pants, leaning against the wall watching her.
She immediately felt that she should cover herself, but he was her husband. He had
a right to see her if he wanted to. She rushed to the table and sat down with her milk. "What are you doing up?" she asked softly.
"I heard you wake up and came to check on you." He pushed away from the wall and got himself a cup of the warm milk from the stove. "Are you having trouble sleeping?"
She nodded. "Yes, and I thought warm milk would help, but I forgot just how much I hate warm milk." She took another small sip and made a face, wondering what had made her think she would be able to tolerate it now when she never had been able to as a child.
He moved to the table and took the seat beside hers, which surprised her. He didn't usually sit so close to her, but he'd been touching her a lot more the past couple of days, making her nervous. "I've never much liked warm milk either, but if it will help me sleep, then I need the sleep."
She sighed. "Church is going to be difficult in the morning. It's never easy to stay awake with our preacher anyway."
Jesse laughed. "I've often thought if we could find a way to store his words and listen to them later, he would be a great cure for sleeplessness."
Anna giggled softly. "That's not very nice of you."
He sighed. "Sometimes, I'm just not a nice person."
Anna's eyes met his, and she found herself more attracted to him than ever. She wanted to shout at herself to stop looking at him, because he was too handsome for her to be around comfortably without falling for, but she enjoyed looking at him. "I think you're a very nice person...most of the time."
He moved closer to her, his hand reaching out to stroke her cheek. "Anna, you're going to be the death of me. I try to be a gentleman, and you run around in the middle of the night with only your nightgown on."
She blushed. "I didn't know you'd be up, or I would have been more careful to add a robe."
He leaned toward her, his lips gently brushing against hers. "I didn't say I didn't like it."
She gasped as his lips took hers, his tongue gently invading her mouth and stroking inside to mate with hers. It was the first time he'd kissed her in tenderness, and she liked it more than she should have. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she clung to them, as she kissed him back.
After a moment, he caught her hips and pulled her to her feet toward him and down onto his lap, his lips never once leaving hers. He held her close, his hands roaming over her back and shoulders.
Anna squirmed a bit on his lap, feeling suddenly surprised that he would hold her so closely. She knew it would take a moment or two, but he would suddenly be angry with her for 'tempting him' that way.
She carefully drew her mouth from his and got to her feet. She took both of their cups to the sink and quickly washed them, fully aware the entire time of his eyes on her. What was he thinking kissing her that way in the middle of the night? "Good night, Jesse." She walked from the room to the stairs, priding herself on how calm her voice sounded. She would sleep now, and he would forget all about this by morning. She was sure of it.
Chapter Ten
Monday afternoon, Anna was taking dinner out of the oven and putting it on the table when there was a knock on the door. Anna sighed, not knowing who it could be at the dinner hour. She hoped whoever it was wasn't hungry, because she'd made something new for supper, and every time she did that, Jesse and Ernie devoured every morsel as if they were afraid she'd never make it again.
She rushed to the door, and opened it wide, expecting to see one of the cowhands or even Julia standing on the other side.
When she saw that it was Mr. Hanson, she wanted to slam it again, right in his face, but she didn't. She didn't invite him inside however, preferring to stand with him outside to discuss whatever he was there for. She walked outside and stepped down off the porch, turning to him. "How can I help you, Mr. Hanson?"
He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down his long nose at her. "Well, Mrs. Hoover, by acting the harlot, you have deprived my school district and the children of this community of a school teacher. I've finally managed to find another, but she won't be able to arrive until January. That's too long for the children to go without a teacher. I need you to resume your old position of teacher through the end of December until we take our winter break."
Anna blinked a few times, trying to determine if the man was serious. He was calling her a harlot in one breath and asking her to do a favor for him in the next? "No, thank you. I'm happy cooking and cleaning for my family. It's very kind of you to offer, though."
She turned to go back into the house, but he caught her arm, turning her back around to face him. "I wasn't asking you to teach. I was telling you what you would do for our community. We need you, and you will therefore, do the right thing and teach them."
Anna took a deep breath, really not believing the man had the gall to come out there and call her a harlot and demand she teach. "I don't think you understand, Mr. Hanson. I'm a married woman now. I have a husband and a son who need me home during the day so I can take care of them. Maybe Mrs. Harding will agree to do it for you."
"I wouldn't take her back. You've done a better job than she did." He shuddered. "She was kissing Mr. Harding in the street knowing she'd come here to teach. She married another woman's fiancé. No, as much as I hate it, you'll have to come back and do the work."
"I'm afraid you didn't hear me when I answered you, Mr. Hanson. I will not return to teaching. I'm happy where I am. I wish you luck in finding a new teacher who can be here sooner. I'll pray for you, Mr. Hanson." She turned to go back into the house, but he grabbed her arm once again.
This time his face was red as he leaned over her, obviously trying to intimidate her. "You will do as you're told!"
One moment he was gripping her arm and hurting her, and the next he was flying across the yard. Jesse was standing over him, both fists clenched at his sides. "Ernie, take your mother into the house."
Anna shook her head, taking a step down toward them. "No, Jesse. He's not worth it. I won't go teach for him again." She knew Jesse didn't want her to teach, but even more, she knew he wanted to hurt Mr. Hanson, and she wanted to distract him from it.
"Go into the house, Anna. I'll take care of this."
"No, I won't go. Please, just let it drop. Mr. Hanson, you're not wanted here. Please go home."
Mr. Hanson got to his feet, warily watching Jesse the entire time. Ernie stood beside Anna, clinging to her hand. "I'll go. That harlot of yours would probably teach all the girls the wrong things about chastity anyway." He turned his back on Jesse, who took quick advantage of the situation by firmly planting his boot in the middle of the other man's backside.
"Get off my land, Mr. Hanson, and if you ever come back, I will introduce you to the barrel of my gun just like I would any other trespasser." Jesse was shaking as he watched the older man climb into his buggy and drive away without another word.
Jesse walked over to Anna, looking at her arm where Mr. Hanson had gripped it so tightly. "Are you all right?" he asked.
Anna nodded, feeling the relief coursing through her veins. Never before had she had a man treat her as lovingly as Jesse was at that moment. "I'm fine. I'm startled by just how nasty he is every time I see him, and I'm not even certain why any longer."
Jesse pulled her to him, and Ernie disappeared into the house. "I'll just go wash my hands," he called over his shoulder. He obviously liked the idea of his father hugging his new wife.
Jesse held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "I'm so sorry he treated you like that. I never should have left you here alone. I'm going to have one of the cowboys start watching the house during the day."
Anna sighed, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder, enjoying having someone to lean on for once. "I don't know if that's necessary. I'll just be more careful about who I'm opening the door to."
"Promise?"
She nodded. "I promise."
"I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you. Losing my first love was heartbreaking. I don't think I could lose another."
"If you loved me
that would mean something to me." Suddenly, Anna felt anger coursing through her. How dare he compare her to his first wife when he'd made it very clear he had no feelings for her at all? She pulled away from him and walked into the house, finishing putting dinner on the table, refusing to look at him at all.
Jesse watched her go into the house, knowing that he deserved the way she'd talked to him. There was no doubt about it. He hadn't been much of a husband to her. He needed to tell her how he felt, but he couldn't do it with Ernie watching. He hated to leave her angry with him for that long, but he didn't know what else to do.
As soon as the dishes were finished, Jesse sent Ernie up to bed, catching Anna's hand when she made to follow Ernie up the stairs. "You're going to stay down here and talk to me for a minute."
Anna looked down at him, the fire flashing in her eyes. "No, I'm not." She refused to listen to another word of his drivel. Pulling her hand away, she ran through the house and up the stairs, closing her bedroom door loudly. She was not going to put up with his nonsense for another minute.
Jesse watched her go and heard the door close behind her. He gave her a few minutes before following, knowing she would be even angrier if he walked into her room while she was changing. He was going to have this out with her immediately though. She needed to know he loved her and wanted her to be his real wife once and for all.
Anna had just climbed between the covers when her bedroom door opened, and Jesse walked into her room, closing it firmly behind him. She sat up in bed and gasped, holding the covers over her chest. "What are you doing in my bedroom? Get out!"
Instead of getting out of her room, he walked around to the other side of her bed and climbed in beside her, clothes and all. He'd removed his boots in the kitchen, but other than that he was still fully dressed. "We're going to talk. I wanted to do it downstairs, but you refused, so we'll do it here."
Anna stared at him in shock. "You can't just climb into my bed. We don't have that kind of marriage! You need to go!" What on earth was he thinking? He'd made the rules between them, and she expected him to obey them.
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