“He just doesn’t trust Jake, Marie. And you are very special to a lot of people in this community. You know that. Why, what would we do without you shining your light all over town?”
Adam nodded seriously. “It would be a very dark place. A very dark place.”
Marie giggled. “Oh, you two. Please don’t worry. I will be careful. I will take care of myself. And I will take care of him. We will be fine.”
“Well, get those supplies home before your arms fall off carrying them. If we were headed that way, we’d certainly help you.”
Marie shook her head. “These are very light. It’s the bag of salt I had to leave behind. I’ll send someone for it later or come back with my wagon. Thank you, Mr. Collins, Mrs. Collins, for being so kind and for being concerned for me. But I’m all right. And Jake is all right, too.”
She smiled as she went around them and walked toward her house.
Adam and Alice watched her for a moment before turning around to walk toward the main street, where the shops were more plentiful. This was the heart of the community and it ran for about two blocks.
“I know you are concerned about her, Adam,” Alice said as they walked. “But I don’t think either of us have anything to worry about.”
“What makes you say that?” Adam asked incredulously. “She is a vulnerable woman!”
“What makes you think she is vulnerable?” Alice responded in a tone that would ensure the two of them would not argue. “She has been on her own for over ten years now. I have always considered her to be very intelligent.”
“I didn’t say she wasn’t intelligent, Alice. I said she is vulnerable. She doesn’t know Jake and yet she’s so willing to take care of him. Even with a broken arm!” He shook his head. “I will never understand it.”
“You were willing to take him in, too, Adam,” Alice pointed out.
“He’s my cousin,” Adam countered. “Of course I was going to give him a chance.”
“I think you should offer to let him come back and stay with us again.”
Adam looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “I will not have him around our children when he is going to drink all day. And the last thing you need is for him to be a further burden to you. We have three children of our own to look after. You don’t need a grown man with a broken arm who won’t do anything but sit on the front porch all day drinking adding to your burdens.” He was quiet for a moment as they walked, but then began again. “If I don’t trust him around Marie when he’s drinking, why would I trust him around my children and my wife?”
Alice shook her head. “I think you are being too harsh on the man. He needs help, not scrutiny.”
Adam snorted. “He needs to learn to be a man.”
Alice dropped the conversation, steering it toward what purchases they had to make that day. She detested arguing anything with Adam. However, she was not going to stay silent. She understood why Marie was doing what she was doing for several reasons. One was that she thought Jake was just a troubled soul who needed help. The other was that Marie was well-known for her acts of charity. She had stepped up her game on this one; Alice had to give her that. All in all, it sounded like a typical thing for Marie to do.
As she walked next to her husband, she silently vowed to ask Marie for the whole story on how the two of them had met from her point of view, instead of that of the town. It would be an interesting tale. She was anxious to hear it.
Marie walked back to the house, thinking about what the Collins couple had said. It was true that she was often too trusting. Not all people were as they seemed on the surface. You might never know what thoughts were boiling in someone else’s mind.
She didn’t want to think that the gentle, nice man she had brought into her home could be anything other than that. He was sweet and she felt safe with him. She was confident that if they were to walk down the street side by side and danger presented itself, he would protect her. That was a feeling she hadn’t had for many, many years, since the death of her husband. Johnny was strong and big. She’d always felt protected by him. That was probably the only feeling of comfort she missed, being a single woman. Otherwise, she found the loneliness bearable.
She’d filled her life with working for the church and helping the needy. It kept her mind off the fact that she would never have a husband and children. She was past her prime. No one would want her now. Except maybe a lonely drifter who stayed drunk 95% of the time.
She frowned at her own negativity. What a way to think about Jake! Guilt flowed through her and she felt bad for having thought of him that way. It was because of what Adam had said, hammering the thought home as hard as possible, she realized.
Her thoughts of him were colored though. Adam’s words had given her insight into Jake’s relationship with his relatives and it wasn’t a good one. He hadn’t opened up a great deal to her except to say that his father was still alive but his mother had passed. He was still broken about losing his mother, even more than losing his wife.
“She was the strongest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he would often say when remembering her.
Marie thought that any man who missed and loved his mother as much as Jake did couldn’t be all bad. Love for one’s mother was extremely important. The more a man loved his mother, the more indication he would treat the woman in his life right.
Nevertheless, Adam was right, Marie had to admit. She didn’t know Jake. It had not been long enough for her to know him as well as she should. She would remain observant and cautious. In the two weeks it had been so far, Jake had never made any impolite or improper moves toward her. She found this strange, but was grateful since it might take time for him to recover.
She had a nice dinner planned for the two of them and since the days were warm and pretty, she was going to set the table outside so they could eat while enjoying the weather. She had a nice chicken to prepare and had bought several potatoes from Joe’s Mercantile, since he always seemed to have the biggest potatoes she’d ever seen. She’d bought spices and would have to return for the salt. Fortunately, she was not completely out.
She set the bags from her right hand down onto the floor so that she could open the door to the house. Her hand was on the knob and she felt it turning without her help. The door was pulled open and Jake stood there. He held out his hands and took the bags from her, all in one hand.
“Let me do that.”
“Jake, your arm.”
He laughed. “As you can see, I can carry them all in one hand. These aren’t heavy at all. No wonder you aren’t out of breath.”
“I am very healthy.”
“I know. It’s remarkable, actually. I don’t know how you’ve managed it. I know you must be in your thirties. But I would swear you were just a young girl.”
She followed him into the kitchen. He set the bags up on the counter and began opening cabinets to put the jars where they belonged.
“Thank you for your help, Jake,” Marie said softly. She watched him. He was a good-looking man, but not the best she had ever seen. He had a habit of pulling on the front of his hair, almost like he was tipping a non-existent hat. However, those blue eyes and that cropped hair drew her in instantly. She began to hope that something more would come of this relationship.
Two seconds later, she was chiding herself for thinking these thoughts prematurely. No one knew what the future would hold. She certainly didn’t want to second-guess what God had planned.
She would just have to wait and see.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
GOOD THINGS ALWAYS COME TO AN END
GOOD THINGS ALWAYS COME TO AN END
For the next six weeks, Marie took care of Jake while his arm recovered. When the doctor took off the cast, though it was weak, Jake had full use of his arm again. During that time, they had become close. She found herself picking up on words he used and he seemed to do the same. She discovered what his favorite meals were, where he liked to picnic and how funny he was when
he wanted to be.
For the most part, Marie found Jake to be a solemn individual, often wrapped up in his own mind. It left her wondering where he really was, not in body but in mind. He had a sense of humor and would sometimes come out of his shell. He was often seen sitting on the porch, a bottle of rum in one hand and a pipe in the other. Since the pipe was longer, he was able to get it to his mouth with the cast on his arm.
At times, Marie would sit outside with him and they would talk and laugh about all kinds of things. She never smoked a pipe and took a sip of rum only now and then. By the time Jake got his cast off, she realized that Adam was right. She never saw Jake without the bottle in his hand.
It didn’t really concern her until she realized that he was no longer in pain, but Jake still held on to the bottle as if it was the only way he could stay alive. Marie felt a bit confused about it. Although it could potentially keep getting Jake into fights, he was not hurting anyone but himself. He never became violent and the two of them got along as if they had known each other for years instead of weeks.
It was peaceful between them until one day in mid-June, when Marie and Alice decided to have a picnic together and catch up. From the moment they met at the park, Alice seemed to be catering to Marie. It made Marie feel strange, as if someone was examining her through a telescope in the sky. She’d had enough when Alice went out of her way to find the most comfortable spot in the grass for Marie.
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Alice,” Marie said, slightly frustrated. “I think you’d better explain why you’re treating me like a china doll.”
Alice had spread the blanket and was seated on it, reaching into the basket to get out several types of fruit for them to choose from. “I just want you to be comfortable, Marie,” Alice said, looking up sharply at her friend.
Marie sat down with her legs under her and to the side and leaned on one arm. “I’m taking this banana.”
Alice smiled. “Of course. I brought extras in case you want more.”
“One will do. Please tell me what is on your mind, Alice. You are thinking something and it looks like you really want to tell me.”
“How is that you can know something like that when we haven’t had a luncheon or picnic in months, maybe even years?” Alice asked. “I am just concerned about you, Marie. How… how are you and Jake faring?”
Marie looked confused. “What do you mean? There is nothing bad going on. He is not hurting me.”
Alice pressed her lips together, not taking her eyes off of Marie. “Oh Marie. You have to know what he told Sam the last time he was in the Horse N Saddle. He didn’t know that Adam and Mark were in there. He was sitting at the bar.”
Marie felt a terrible pain in her chest and felt a fog closing in on her. Moments later, she was hyper aware of her surroundings, listening in shock as Alice told her what had been overheard.
“He said that you parade around him trying to get his attention all the time, but he’s not going to give it to you. He said that he’d been spending time with one of the girls that patronize the men here in our nice little town.”
Marie felt somewhat stunned. The hurt from what she was being told stung like a thousand hot needles.
“Since you took him in, he doesn’t feel like he owes you anything and it’s better to keep you in the quiet about it. He was so drunk; he didn’t know he was being loud.”
“When did this happen?” Marie asked. She was numb.
“It was just a few days ago. It was before you would have gotten out of work. In fact, it was around noon-day, when the men take off for a mid-day break. They were in there having a cold one before returning to a hard job. Adam heard it, came home, told me and here we are. We are very concerned about the way he’s treating you, Marie. He is taking advantage of your kindness. We are afraid he is going to hurt you.”
“He would never lay a hand on me.”
Alice shook her head. “Not like that. We are… Marie… have you fallen in love with him?”
For the first time, Marie realized that was exactly what she had done. She had fallen in love with him.
It had been just two months and the man rarely left her mind. He invaded every thought as she wondered how she could further help him. She cooked him dinners – though every now and then, he helped by making food without being asked. She cleaned – though every now and then, he would pick up a broom and sweep off the porch, or beat the rugs on the porch railings. She even went so far as to make sure he always had hot bath water.
To hear the things Alice was saying cut her to the bone. She felt absolutely devastated and foolish.
When her friend’s face fell, Alice leaned forward and grasped both of Marie’s hands. “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”
“No,” Marie shook her head. “I needed to know. I’m glad someone told me the truth.”
“You have fallen in love with him, haven’t you?”
Marie tried to reason with herself and Alice at the same time. “It is too soon to say that. I have always been strong and independent. In control. When I lost my husband, I realized I had no control over anything in my life. So after that I just drifted through every day and my only pleasure is in helping someone else.”
“But what about you?” Alice asked, peeling a banana for herself. She tilted her head in an effort to make the conversation less serious than it really was. “I am trying to tell you that you are being used by this man. And I believe, like everyone else does, that you have fallen in love with him and he is going to hurt you.”
“I find it appalling that my life is being discussed so frequently,” Marie said hotly, finishing her banana and dropping the peel back into the basket. She got to her feet and brushed off the back of her dress. “Thank you for the banana, Alice. I believe I need to have a talk with Jake.”
“Oh dear, oh dear,” Alice fretted. “I have let the cat out of the bag. I have spoken out of turn. I am so sorry. I just wanted you to know the truth. I know he hasn’t given you anything for your kindness to him. He isn’t going to. He doesn’t want to.”
Marie felt the sudden urge to flee. Anger and resentment mixed inside her, causing a boiling inferno in her stomach. Why had she let herself have any thoughts that things might end differently for her this time?
She was once again aware of her aloneness. It wasn’t loneliness or simply being by oneself. It was knowing that you are, without a doubt, going to be alone forever. No husband, no children, no family.
“My dear friend,” Alice stood and took Marie’s hand. “I only tell you these things because you are such a good friend to me. You deserve to know what might be going on. I am not usually one to gossip-”
“I’m not either,” Marie interjected.
Alice nodded. “When was the last time I came to you to tell you gossip about someone or something that went down in town?”
Marie thought back to her childhood. “Well, maybe once or twice.”
Alice laughed, but Marie couldn’t get past the fury boiling inside her to do something like that.
“I have to go, Alice.”
“Are you angry with me, Marie?” Alice stood up quickly, grabbing her friend’s arm.
Marie looked her in the eye. “I’m not angry, Alice. I find it truly amazing that what goes on in my life is so fascinating to the people of this town.”
“We all love you! That’s why! We don’t want to see you taken advantage of!”
“I know,” Marie nodded. “I know. And that’s why I’m not angry. It does make me want to pack everything I have and travel to the next town over to avoid being talked about, but I suppose it would be like this in every town I visit.”
“You are one of our favorite people in town,” Alice said in a warning voice. “Don’t you leave us.”
This time she got a smile out of Marie.
She watched as Marie made her way out of the field and got into the carriage. She would send the rider back so that Alice was not stranded.
Alice s
at down again and took an apple out of the basket. She took a large bite and contemplated what had just happened. Her friend was in pain and there was nothing she could do about it.
One thing was certain: she was beginning to hate Jake.
Marie stomped up the steps and stood in front of Jake, her hands on her hips. “I want you to leave my home, Jake. You are a grown man, you should be able to fare well enough on your own.”
Jake’s eyes opened wide and he sat forward, setting the rum bottle on the floor next to his chair. “What? Why?”
“I’m sure the lady in town you’ve been talking to at the Horse N Saddle will be able to take care of you just fine. You don’t need my help anymore and I do not want to be used by any man who is perfectly capable of handling himself. I don’t like to be lied to, Jake. I feel I have done enough for you by now.”
“Marie, where did you hear a story like that? I’m not talking to any of the ladies at the Horse N Saddle.”
“That is not what I was told, and I trust my source.”
Jake shook his head back and forth. “This is ridiculous. The only woman I’ve talked to more than the others is Jane and the only reason we talk at all is because we share a sense of humor and like to joke around.”
“Oh?” Marie’s rage was seething through her. She was speaking through gritted teeth. She couldn’t believe how painful her jealousy was.
“Yes. I’m telling you the truth. Our names are very close to each other and it started a joke between us. We haven’t done anything wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong. And you… you and I… we aren’t…”
His sentence trailed off. He was looking at her so closely. She knew it wasn’t until that moment that he realized how she must feel about him. That infuriated her even more. If he hadn’t seen her love for him, there was no way he felt it in return.
The realization that Marie loved him almost threw Jake for a loop. He was immediately back to where he was all those years ago, watching his wife leave, and the coach that took her away had all his belongings strapped to it. He was lucky she’d left him with his clothes piled in the middle of the house that they no longer owned. It was just a small cottage, but Jake’s gambling had taken everything away from him. After that, he began drinking on a more frequent basis and now he couldn’t go a day without something.
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