“But—”
Des interrupted me. “Sex doesn’t always have to be so serious, you know. It can be fun.” She took a step toward me. “Really fun if you’re willing to experiment a little.” Then my friend’s hands were on mine, gently pulling me closer. “There’s no reason to be so uptight about this.”
“I—”
“I wanted it this way. I wanted to share Josh with you. He’s the best thing I’ve ever had. And I wanted to share you with Josh. You’re the other best thing I’ve ever had.”
I was about to say something, though quite honestly, I had no idea what I was going to say, when Josh walked into the room. He was bare-chested, which was hard enough to take, but worse, he came to stand beside Desi and kissed her on the cheek.
“Hey, babe.” Then his gaze fixed on me. His smile was tentative, but his eyes hid a dark secret. “Morning, Tina.”
“Hey.” My voice was barely more than a whisper. I desperately wanted to look away but some strange force held me, captivating me, forcing me to watch the display of affection between them. Desi running her left hand up Josh’s abdomen, her right hand dropping down to his ass.
Josh cupped Desi’s face for a full-on lip-lock and then she whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was, it made him grin and look at me, at my flushed face. Could they tell I was turned on? That even though I’d planned to go about my business and pretend like nothing happened, all I really wanted was for the whole thing to happen all over again?
They’d awakened something in me. Something that went beyond my passion for any guy or boyfriend I’d ever been with. Something I hadn’t even known I desired.
“Josh and I are heading up to Santa Barbara next weekend for a beach volleyball tournament. We’d love it if you’d join us.”
How was it possible to both desperately want something but be terrified of it at the same time? How could I feel indignant and aroused by the same proposal?
I couldn’t reply. My mouth wasn’t working. Neither was my voice. All I could do was stare, openmouthed, at the couple in front of me.
“It would mean a lot to us, wouldn’t it, Josh?” Des looked up into his brown eyes and he grinned.
Then he looked at me. His grin turned into a full-on toothy smile that would have been endearing if the situation had been a little different. “Yes,” he said. “It would mean a lot if you’d join us.”
It was possible this moment was the beginning of the end, because right then I had the opportunity to end it all before it really began. But I didn’t. It’s not that I agreed, at least not right away. It’s that I didn’t refuse, and my silence was all the consent that was needed.
Chapter Three
The hour and a half drive to Santa Barbara on Friday seemed to take forever as I sat silently in the back seat of Josh’s Mazda RX8. The other two chatted gaily in the front, talking about their work week, the tournament, the unexpected breakup of our friends, Kevin and Thom, who’d been together longer than most of us could remember. I pretended to listen in and made the appropriate grunting noises, but my thoughts were far away.
Already I was caught between chastising myself for allowing Desi to talk me into this little road trip and anxiously anticipating the unknown events of the weekend. If I were a guy, I’d have had a perma-boner for the entire ride, but seeing as I’m a girl, the only evidence of my thoughts was my tight little clit, swollen and primed, rubbing exasperatingly against the lace of my panties.
Though the ride seemed to take forever, we arrived much too quickly. Josh had a summer cottage only steps from the beach, and I think seeing the reality of it—our weekend getaway for three—instantly filled me with regret and excitement.
“There’s only one bedroom,” I complained after a quick tour.
Josh glanced at Des and said, “The couch is a pullout. I can make it up if you want.”
I nodded, not trusting myself, afraid I might voice my true desires.
“Hey, who’s hungry? Let’s head down to the Crab Shack.” Desi had always been good at changing the subject when things were tense.
We went to eat but inevitably returned to the cozy cottage. It would have been perfect for two. But three? I wasn’t so sure. However, that first night nothing happened.
At least, not at first.
Josh made up the spare bed, and we all hit the sack early. Separately. Des and Josh in the bedroom, and I on the pullout.
The night was pleasantly cool and I lay with just a thin cotton sheet to cover me. I was wearing my new satin nightie in robin’s egg blue. It matched my eyes and my mood. What was wrong with me? Josh and Des had a big tournament tomorrow; of course they would want to get their rest. Anyway, wasn’t I undecided about repeating the whole three-way thing? Maybe I’d even misunderstood the intent of the weekend. It could be they invited me along just so things could get back to normal and it was me who was thinking dirty thoughts while the other two only had eyes for each other.
For some reason that bothered me.
What was wrong with me? I tried to figure it out but the minute I started thinking about the two of them, Desi to begin with—well, I couldn’t even go there. My feelings for my best friend were not to be delved into, not yet. But Josh?
As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I explored my feelings for him. There was something about him, the way he carried himself, the way he smiled, the way he rested his hands on Des’s shoulders or on her waist. I had to admit, I watched them, probably more than was appropriate. I not only watched, I wanted. I told myself it wasn’t Josh I wanted, it was what they had together. But now, as I lay in bed with the two of them only steps away, I realized that was a lie. Sure, I wanted what they had, but it wasn’t all I wanted.
I wanted Josh. I wanted his hands on my shoulders and waist. His lips kissing my lips and other sensitive body parts. Most of all I wanted his cock thrust deep inside of me.
Did I have some bizarre sickness, some mental illness that made me want all of Desi’s boyfriends? Probably. The realization kept me in my bed, kept me from taking the short journey to their bedroom where I could make all my fantasies come true. I vowed to never do anything to cause problems between Des and myself again, so a midnight threesome was not going to happen.
Only one problem. I’d been on the verge of coming all day—all week, in fact. So because I’d convinced myself I shouldn’t want Josh, couldn’t have him, I had to settle for myself.
I knew it wouldn’t take long. My body was vibrating, and my pussy throbbed with readiness. I slid my hand up and over my satin-covered breasts, only to gather the material so I could feel just how hot my skin was. With my other hand, I stroked the lace between my legs. Slowly at first, but not for long. I tugged on the damp material, pulling it taut against my engorged clit, and a tiny moan escaped my parted lips. I rocked my hips back and forth as I played with my pussy. It wasn’t enough. Only Josh’s big, hard cock would be enough, and even then… But it was better than nothing. My pussy had been aching for stimulation all week, but I’d been denying myself. Out of guilt, maybe? I couldn’t be sure. What I did know was that while I fingered myself, I replayed that night in my room. My hand was Josh’s mouth. My other hand was Desi’s. This time I imagined I kept my eyes open. This time I waited for Des to come so we could orgasm together.
“Tina?” The voice was soft, deep.
I couldn’t respond. I felt as if Josh had not only caught me masturbating, but that he knew exactly what I was thinking about while I did it.
“Tina?” He came to stand over the bed, but my eyes were closed. He sat down. The thin mattress buckled beneath him, making me roll toward him. I was mortified.
“Hey.” He gently brushed my hair from my forehead.
Slowly I opened my eyes. One look at him and all my promises to behave flew straight out the window. How could I resist? In the dark of the room, with only the outside lights to illuminate the planes of his face and his bare chest, the man sitting beside me appeared like some angel of darknes
s cast in an unearthly glow. He wasn’t just Desi’s boyfriend; he was my naughty fantasy come to life, only even more handsome, more sensual. He was more than I could possibly imagine, and I was helpless to deny him anything.
I reached up and touched his face. As my thumb brushed across his lips, he took it into his mouth. His warm, sensuous mouth. The one that kissed Des on a daily basis, the very mouth that gave me such pleasure only a week ago.
“Oh, yes,” I said with a sigh. I was in heaven. We were having a conjugal, ethereal visit, me and this dark angel of mine, and I was ready for him. Oh God, was I ready.
“You’re so wet.” He groaned as he lay down beside me, cupping a hand between my legs. Then his mouth was on mine, tender, in the same way that made the breath hitch in my chest and brought moisture to my eyes.
“God, you feel good.” I ran my hands up and down his back and ass, trying frantically to memorize every inch of him, irrationally afraid he’d return to some other plane of existence—the place of dreams and fantasies.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He was on top of me. His knees spread mine, the head of his cock wedged up against my throbbing clit.
I realized I could not wait one more second. I had to take him inside of me.
With my hands jammed between us, I grasped the length of him and directed him past the edge of my panties as I bore down. God, he was big. Almost too big. But it was what I needed and, as I spread my legs further, my hungry cunt opened up for him and sucked him in.
“Fuck!” His groan was my addiction. I had to hear it again. “You’re tight, Tina. So wonderfully…” He thrust and groaned again. “So incredibly…” He withdrew and then pulled me to him, hard, until I groaned too. “So fucking tight.”
Then he propped himself above me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he got into his rhythm. While he thrust, he whispered in my ear, wonderful nonsense about wanting me and dreaming of me just like I was now, writhing beneath him. He said he’d fantasized about my pussy, about how it would feel, how it would taste. But never had he imagined how tight I’d be. Never. I was like a virgin, like a sweet, innocent virgin with a tight cunt.
Then he stopped talking. He moved his hands from my breasts to my shoulders so he could hold me steady while his cock pounded into me. The last few years slid away, and it was as if I’d never stopped having sex. My body remembered what to do, what it needed and it rejoiced in the way Josh filled me. With each and every powerful thrust, I joined him, hips lifted and my body welcoming him with pools of delight and desire.
For the last few thrusts, Josh’s body changed rhythm. Though it had been a long time, I knew instinctively what it meant—he was coming. My body responded automatically by bucking beneath the weight of his hips as I took him into the deepest part of me, my pussy, clenching and pulsing around his quivering cock.
“Oh, yes!” Josh collapsed and I enjoyed a few moments of utter bliss under the weight of his passion-soaked flesh.
Then remorse hit. I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut.
I’d done it again.
* * *
Because of the tournament, we didn’t have much time to talk the next morning. I was thankful for that. The weird thing was, it wasn’t Josh I wanted to avoid. It was Desi. Did she know what happened? Did she hear us, our cries of passion? Had she been asleep, or had she been listening? Maybe she’d stood in the shadows, watching. In the short time before we left for the beach, I tried to gauge her response to me, whether she was cold or distant. But as far as I could tell, everything was completely normal between us, as if I hadn’t been the last one to fuck her boyfriend. Again.
The beach volleyball tournament was only one day, so Des and Josh played lots of back-to-back games in the round-robin before making it to the playoff round. They played well, and I enjoyed watching. That’s how Des and Josh met, at a tournament. Next thing they knew, they were playing mixed doubles together, banging balls around until they started banging each other.
They were a good match, there was no denying it. They never fought over whose ball it was and they seemed to know intuitively where the other person was on the court. It was never more apparent than during the semifinals. The guy on the other team had a killer jump serve and it was his turn up. He served and Josh dove for it. Miraculously, it seemed to me, his ball popped up perfectly to Des, who set it high and off the net, allowing Josh to get up off the sand in time to run, jump and pound the ball around the block.
Goddamn, it was a turn-on.
But Josh wasn’t the only one pounding the ball. Desi hit hard too, and I had never enjoyed watching the two of them more than I did that day. Their hard, athletic bodies glistened with sweat and sand as their muscles expanded and contracted in exertion. And all of the pounding of balls and expanding and contracting of muscles gave me a girlie hard-on. Gone were the reservations I’d had about this weekend. I was hypnotized by them. Mesmerized by longing and fiery lust.
By the time they squeaked out a victory, it was nearly 6:00 p.m. and I was starving, but not for food.
“Congratulations!” I hugged Des, sweat, grime and all and then reached up on tiptoe and kissed Josh on the cheek. “You guys were awesome.”
Desi grabbed my hand in victory and wrapped her other arm around Josh’s waist. With her wide, signature grin, she said, “This calls for a celebration.”
We headed back to the beach house but not before we grabbed some Thai takeout and loaded up on beer, wine and liquor.
“I’ll keep this warm in the oven while you take a shower,” Des said to Josh as we unpacked the bags of food and beverages.
I thought maybe she’d join him, but then I noticed another one of their silent, significant looks and I knew Des wanted to be alone with me. For some reason that made me nervous. Isn’t that nuts? I was afraid to be alone with my best friend.
I found a bag of pistachios, our favorite, and dumped them in a bowl, cracked a beer and sat down at the breakfast bar.
Des was busy putting the food into oven-safe containers and then she sat beside me, downing a whole beer in one slug. “I hope you weren’t too bored watching us play all day.”
“No,” I said after I swallowed my mouthful. “Not at all.”
“Really?” She turned to me and I noticed a strange glint in her eye.
“Des.” I paused. I wished I had more beer in me. “Watching you guys was hot. Really hot.”
I knew my answer pleased her when she grinned. Des has the best grin. Her mouth is large and her teeth are big and straight and her full smile takes up her whole face. Desi isn’t conventionally pretty, but she’s damned attractive and, when she smiles like that, everyone around her smiles too. Including me.
Our eyes met and I could see she understood. I didn’t have to say anything else.
It was Des who looked away first as she grabbed a handful of pistachios. “Hey,” she said absently, “I’ve been meaning to ask you, does Josh remind you of anyone?”
I nearly choked on my nut. Where had that come from? I shrugged and took a sip of beer to clear my throat.
“You know who he reminds me of?” Her voice dropped an octave as she leaned conspiratorially toward me.
“Who?”
“I’ll tell you as long as you don’t go all Freudian on me.”
“Who?”
Des glanced back at the closed bathroom door. I could still hear the water from Josh’s shower and so could she, I’m sure. “Curtis. Weird, huh?”
Even though I knew what was coming, I had an urge to spew my mouthful of beer all over the counter.
“I think that’s why I love him so much. Since Curtis died, no one’s ever compared. Until Josh. It’s not that they look alike, it’s just the way he makes me feel.” She paused to look at me. “Am I weirding you out?”
I shook my head. “N-no,” I stammered.
“I don’t know.” Desi’s eyes strayed to the closed door. “I still think about Curtis all the time, but it doesn�
��t hurt—” she paused to tap her chest, “—in here, quite as much as it used to.”
I nodded, swallowed. Now would be the perfect time to tell her. To confess my sins and ask for forgiveness. But the words got stuck in my throat and I started to choke.
Des pounded me on the back. By the time I had my shit under control, she was busy setting the table and the moment was lost.
After Josh finished his shower, it was Desi’s turn in the bathroom and I was left alone with Josh for the first time since he’d been inside of me. The first thing he did was grab a beer and offer me another one. I shook my head. For some reason I was worried about getting wasted too quickly.
“Josh,” I began as he leaned against the kitchen counter all casual-like, watching me. “About last night—”
“You don’t have regrets, do you?” he interrupted.
“No,” I replied quickly. “No, it was…” I didn’t know how to finish.
Josh smiled and leaned over the counter toward me, placing a lovely, beer-wetted kiss upon my lips as if we kiss like that every day. “It was great for me, Tina. Really great.”
I nodded and licked my lips. He saw it and leaned in for another. This one was slower and more thorough. I swallowed and backed away. “Does Desi know?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t keep something like that from her.”
“What does she think?” It was strange this topic was easier to talk about with Josh than with Des.
“She’s all for it.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah.” When he said those two words his voice took on a deeper, softer tone, one I’d only ever heard in the bedroom.
The effect on me was immediate. God, I wanted him. But this time I wanted Desi there too.
However, before I had much time to think about it, Josh came around the counter and turned me on my stool so I faced him. He nudged my legs apart to step between them and tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. “I wouldn’t dream of this,” he said, caressing my bared throat. “But Des, she brought it up. She’s encouraged it, and I have to say—” He bent down and ran his tongue around my jaw to the lobe of my ear, where he whispered hotly, “—I’m so very glad she did.”
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