I could only shake my head.
“Time to change that.”
She lifted my hips and pulled my panties down. I could hardly stand it; the lace slipping off my oversensitive skin had me sighing for release.
Vixen smiled, tossing my panties over her shoulder. She lifted my knees and began to stroke me, like my pussy was her pet. Briefly, she ducked down for a taste, swiping me from the edge of my ass to the very tip of my clit, where her tongue did a neat little flick.
I lifted my hips, but she sat up again and licked her lips, watching my face. She grasped my thighs and her thumbs spread me open and she bent down for another lap.
It was too fast, too brief. I needed more.
Before I could do anything about it, Vixen flipped herself around so her face was still between my legs, her pussy suspended above my face as she knelt on either side of my head. The sight was incredibly erotic. She still wore her G-string, just a triangle of black lace that covered her mound, and a string split her lovely cunt, extending up to form a T on her ass.
God, she was beautiful. But all I could do was stare because suddenly her mouth was on me and she was sucking my clit like it was a lifesaver.
Or maybe she was the lifesaver, because I gripped her thighs like I was afraid I was going to drown. It wasn’t just her tongue and teeth on my clit, it was her fingers diving into me, it was her gorgeous cunt, bobbing just inches from my face, reminding me of a certain someone and a hot tub and a rock-hard cock thrusting and a jet spray and…suddenly I was doing it. Exactly what I had wanted to do to Des that night. I was feasting on the pussy above me, playing the G-string with my tongue like it was a harp string. Driving my tongue into her juicy cunt as far as I could, smelling her scent, prying her ass apart so I could slip a pinky in there. God, it was good. So fucking good.
“Sweet Jesus. You’ve been starving for pussy, haven’t you?”
I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t take my mouth away from her. I had no idea kissing pussy would be so good. She was so soft, and her sweet essence just flowed down my throat, and I wanted to be inside her, not just my tongue, not just my fingers, but other parts too.
It took me a moment to realize Vixen had stopped licking me and was simply crouched above me on her haunches, grinding her cunt into my face.
Finally she rolled off me and rubbed herself, gazing at me with a wild expression in her eyes. “Why, you horny little bitch.” She slipped the panties off and I could finally see the dark curls on her mound. “I think I know what you want.” She reached for something on the table beside the bed and then she crawled over me and lay down between my legs, scissoring me with hers.
When I realized what she was about to do, I felt a deep tug inside, like a cord was attached to my clit and she had a hold of it, pulling it taut. She was going to pussy-fuck me, and I was going to have the most amazing orgasm ever.
It didn’t take long, from the moment she spread my legs and fit herself between me, for the waves to rock through me. Her hot cunt was meshed with mine, our juices mingling, her clit butted up against my throbbing flesh. She turned on the vibrator and slid it in and out between us as we writhed together. I cried out, but she didn’t stop. I thought the world was falling apart, but still, she didn’t stop. It wasn’t until she moaned herself that Vixen removed the vibrator. The walls of her cunt pulsed gloriously against mine with the essence of our combined orgasm dripping down my thighs.
She was panting. So was I. We lay there for what seemed like a long time, as if we were now stuck together like some bizarre sideshow freak. But eventually, she disentangled from me and crawled languidly up beside me.
She caressed my hip and breasts as she spoke. “That was pretty hot for your first time.”
“Mmm.”
“You know what I think?” Her face was above me for just a second before she dropped down to kiss me and to slip her tongue between my lips.
“What?” I whispered against her mouth.
She backed away just a fraction and said, “I think we need to do this again.”
Chapter Eight
Holy shit. What had I done? What the hell had I done? I let Vixen leave the room first before I dressed, my legs wobbling so badly I wasn’t sure I was going to make it out of the house, let alone back to my car.
Just as I was walking down the hallway, I saw a familiar figure waiting for me in the foyer. My heart dropped at the sight of him. “Hey, Kenton,” I said, my voice breathless and perhaps a little too chipper.
“Tina.” Kenton nodded at me and smiled. It was a regular smile, not a lascivious one. Maybe he had no idea what I’d just been up to. “So, do you have any ideas for the bedrooms?”
“Umm, yeah,” I lied. “I have a few, but I think I should do up some drawings first.”
He nodded again. It was the most serious I’d ever seen him.
A wave of relief passed over me as I realized he really didn’t have a clue I’d just been fucked within an inch of my life by another woman.
“Before you go, I’d like to apologize for my behavior the other night.”
“Apologize?”
“Yes.” He came closer, face serious as he gazed down at me. “I shouldn’t have pushed you into a situation you weren’t ready for. I’ve been doing this for so long—” he paused and ran a hand through his hair, “—sometimes I forget there’s still innocence left in the world.”
The irony of his statement was so absurd, I nearly confessed all right there. “Seriously, you don’t need to apologize.”
“Yes. Yes I do.” He moved right up beside me and caressed the nape of my neck. “I really like you. A lot. Let me take you out sometime. Let me make it up to you.” Kenton leaned closer and gently kissed my cheek. “You are so sweet.” His lips found my earlobe and traveled delicately down my neck.
“Stop,” I whispered.
He found the buttons on my blouse and started to undo them. “You can’t tell me this doesn’t feel good.”
I groaned involuntarily then swatted his hands away and moved out from under him. “I asked you to stop.”
“Why, Tina? Why do you want me to stop? Are you in a committed relationship or something.”
I frowned. “No, I—”
He smiled down at me, his gaze burning my lips, dropping to the open buttons on my blouse. “You what?”
I swallowed and cleared my throat. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea to mix a business relationship with a personal one. If I take this contract, then it’s strictly business between us, do you understand?”
I was such a liar. Hadn’t I just used his house for my own personal pleasure? Hadn’t I just allowed myself to be seduced by the very person I blamed for ruining my friendship with Des? I was fucked up.
But Kenton didn’t know all the shit going on in my head. He cocked his head to one side. “So you’re saying if I don’t offer you the contract, you’d go out with me?” He rested his hands on my hips.
I gently removed them. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Look, I like you, but I’m not interested in a relationship or—”
“Who said anything about a relationship? It was a simple invitation. That’s all. You can say no.” He smiled, as if my refusal in no way hurt his feelings.
“Oh.”
He laughed. “So, business it is, then.”
“Are you offering me the contract?”
“Yes. You’re the best. Or so I’m told.” He winked. “I look forward to seeing your plans for the rooms.”
“Okay.”
I gathered my things and was about to leave when he reached for my hand. “If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”
My smile felt tight on my face as I hurried out the door and down the walk to my car. I sat there for a minute, trying to get my bearings, when I saw Vixen coming down the path from Kenton’s. He was hot on her trail. I scooched down low in my car not wanting to be seen, but wanting to watch the interaction between the two. My stomach flipped over l
ike a fish out of water as Kenton grabbed Vixen’s wrist to stop her. Through the closed windows I could hear the sound of the heated argument between the two, but not the words. Was she telling him what happened between us? Oh God, I hoped not. By the impassioned sound of their argument, it didn’t seem like it.
So what the hell was going on?
I had no time to think because—shit!—Vixen was walking again and was about to go right past my car. I opened a file on my seat and leafed through the contents, pretending I’d been doing it all along, just in case she noticed me.
Once I was sure she’d passed, I was about to tuck the file away when I was startled senseless by a tap on the window. The file flew out of my hands, the contents spilling all over the floor of the passenger side, but I barely noticed as I twisted around to see who was there.
It was Kenton.
I lowered the window.
“Sorry to startle you,” he said.
My laugh sounded shaky. “No problem.” I smiled. “Did you forget something?”
Kenton caught my gaze and held it. He smiled. Slowly. “I wanted to ask for some business cards. I’ve got some friends who are looking for a designer. I’d be happy to pass your name along.”
“Oh.” I fumbled in my purse for my cardholder and when I found it, pulled out a bunch and handed them to him. “Thanks, I’d really appreciate that.”
“Sure. I believe in helping friends out. A favor for a favor…” He trailed off as if there was more to the sentence. But what? And why did something meant to sound helpful sound more like a threat?
* * *
I put the incident out of my mind and concentrated on doing up the drawings for Kenton’s rooms, as well as working on the ten other projects I had going simultaneously. I was happy to be so busy, not just for the money, but because it kept my thoughts off Des and Josh. But in the quiet moments, particularly when I was in the car on my way home, my imagination would inevitably stray. It was the same every time. I’d relive our weekend in Santa Barbara. Next, I’d relive my afternoon with Vixen, except in my fantasy it was Des and me together and Josh was there too, watching, maybe videotaping, but ready and willing to join us at any moment.
Soon after, the guilt would kick in. Why the hell did I still hold a grudge against Des? Hadn’t I done the very same thing, with the very same woman? Hell, hadn’t I done worse?
By the end of the week I was more confused than ever. The drive home, which was normally only half an hour, took an extra twenty minutes because of an accident. It was twenty minutes of hell as I anticipated another lonely weekend at home without Des and Josh.
The first thing I noticed when I arrived home was the front door wasn’t locked. My heart started to pound at the thought of seeing Desi again and I knew I wasn’t mad at her anymore.
But it wasn’t Des sitting at the kitchen table. It was Josh. When he heard me come in he stood, his face looking haggard, his eyes tired and drawn, his full, sensual lips were pulled into a thin line. The sight of him both warmed my heart and sent shivers down my back.
I stopped in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to talk.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned against the doorframe. “Okay. Talk.”
Josh stood but didn’t come near. “I’m sorry, Tina. I’m really sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
He ran a hand through his thick hair, tousling it so it looked even sexier than it had before. “For this.” He indicated the house with his hands. Did he feel it too? How empty the house was without Des’s vibrant spirit? He must have. “I’ve come between you and Des.” He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, a flash of pain crossing his face. “All this shit between the two of you? It’s all my fault.”
“Josh, no. This isn’t your fault. It isn’t.” I moved across the room and took his hands in mine. I loved his hands, so lean and strong. I pressed a kiss to his palm, and he gazed down at me with a tortured expression. Pressing his palm to my cheek, I said, “This stuff between Des and me? It goes back a long time. It’s not your fault.” I didn’t realize the truth to my statement until I’d said it. This conflict was old and had been lying in wait for a long time. And Josh, darling that he was, was simply the catalyst.
Suddenly Josh slipped his hand out from under mine and slid it behind my head. He pulled me close, brought his head down to mine, kissed me. God, his kiss was so soft and gentle I melted right into it. It quickly turned into something else, something desperate and urgent and fierce.
I moaned when he pulled away.
“I have feelings for you, Tina. Feelings I can’t quite explain.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest.
I lifted my head to press my lips against the lovely hollow at the base of his neck. He sighed and bent down to kiss me again. There was such comfort there. Comfort and passion and raw desire. All Josh had to do was look at me, touch me, kiss me and I was ready for him. He was the kind of man I never thought truly existed. The kind I definitely didn’t deserve. Des deserved him.
As if reading my mind, Josh pulled away and rested his head on top of mine while he attempted to get his breathing under control. “I love Des, you know that right?”
All I could manage was a slight nod.
“And I think,” he took a deep breath. “I think I love you too.”
I closed my eyes, feeling both a sense of elation and horror at his words. Not because of what he’d done or said, but because of what I’d done. What I’d said.
He eased me away from him and looked deep into my eyes. “Des and I broke up.”
I pulled out of his embrace. “What?” I stared at him. All the good feelings vanished, replaced by one very bad feeling. “Is that why you’re here? You think the two of us will just hook up now? Things are over with one and you’ll just skip on over to me? Is that how it works?”
But Josh shook his head. “No. That’s not the way things work. I’ve come to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye?”
“Yeah. I’m not going to come between you and Des anymore. I just wanted you to know how I felt before I left. That’s all.”
He met my eyes and glanced down at my lips, as if he wanted to kiss me again. But instead he turned and strode out of the room and out of the house.
I was stunned. What the hell had just happened? My mind reeled, trying to take everything in. Josh loved Des. Josh loved me. Josh and Des broke up and I think, as far as I could tell, he also broke up with me. Why? Because he cared about us too much?
Oh, dear fuck.
Where the hell was Des?
I started calling everyone we knew, looking for her. Finally I caught our friend Tracy on her cell. Des was camping out at her place, or at least she was when Tracy had left to go out for Friday night drinks. Something told me I had to get over there. Fast.
It was about a forty-five minute drive to Tracy’s condo, the longest forty-five minutes of my life. When I finally found a parking spot a couple of blocks away, I was out of breath and in a panic. I don’t know why, exactly, but something told me Des would be devastated. When she gets hurt, she turns in on herself. I’d seen it when Curtis died. I had some sense she’d be feeling the same now.
I half expected no response when I buzzed Tracy’s apartment from the lobby. The fact someone let me in told me Des was there, since I knew Tracy was out. Though the elevator was modern, I was ultrasensitive to its movement as it rose to the seventeenth floor, because it felt as if I’d left my stomach and heart in the lobby somewhere.
On Tracy’s apartment door was a simple note. There was nothing menacing about it—only three little words. But for some reason I felt a sense of pending doom after reading them.
On the roof.
I raced back to the elevator, tapping my toe impatiently, waiting for its return so I could ride it to the rooftop patio. Once I reached the roof, I didn’t immediately see Des because the setting sun was directly in my line of vis
ion and I’d left my sunglasses in my car. Finally I saw her, standing still and tall up against the north rail, looking down at the twenty-five floors that dropped beneath her.
“Desi!” I called, but she didn’t turn to acknowledge me. I don’t know what I was expecting. I don’t know if I thought Des was on the verge of tumbling over into the abyss. Perhaps I had an overinflated sense of my importance in Desi’s life, but I knew I had to approach her with caution. “Des,” I said more gently as I came to stand beside her. “Des, I’m sorry.”
She didn’t respond to my apology but simply stared out at the haze covering Santa Monica.
After what seemed like forever, she spoke. “Why is it I can’t seem to get rid of the people I don’t want in my life and the people I love can’t wait to leave me? What is it about me that pushes people away?”
I looked down and saw her tanned hands were white where she gripped the rail. I placed my hands on the rail next to hers. “You don’t push people away.”
“I do.”
I shook my head. “You’re bigger than life, Des. Most of the time people feel unworthy of your attention.”
“Josh left,” she said to the empty space below the rail. “You left.” After a pause she said, “Curtis left.”
“Curtis died,” I corrected after clearing a lump in my throat.
She nodded but her expression told me she didn’t really buy it. God, she didn’t believe Curtis died on purpose just to get away from her, did she? Once again, I wanted to tell Des about what happened between Curtis and me, but now was definitely not the right time.
I licked my dry lips. I was an idiot. There was no reason to hold a grudge against Des. She was hurting, way more than I was. And I’d hurt her way more than she’d ever hurt me. “Desi?”
“Hmm?”
“Look at me.”
She didn’t. Not right away.
I slid my hand over and placed it on top of hers. Then she turned to me. “I’m right here, Des. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you.”
She looked down at me and slowly reached out for me. There was no way I could move out of her path. I was trapped like a deer mesmerized by approaching headlights, sensing the danger but mystified by the strangeness of it all. She stroked my cheek and I sucked in my breath at the contact. “I’m sorry about Vixen,” she said softly.
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