Anna laughed. “Just because you’re attracted to the packaging doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily like the contents. We’re made with an appreciation of beauty, be it the glorious colors of a fall morning in New England, or a handsome man who seems to hold great interest in our needs. Are you desiring to leave your husband and set up housekeeping with Mr. Thorndike?”
“Anna!” Victoria gasped, nearly dropping her glass. “I would never consider such a thing.”
“Then why are you so upset?”
Although she was no more than ten years her senior, Anna Judah was as close a mother figure as Victoria had managed to find for herself since leaving Baltimore. She sighed, finding Anna’s uncanny knack for uncovering her feelings to be almost equally matched with her mother’s.
“I sometimes wonder what it might be like to be Mrs. Thorndike instead of Mrs. O’Connor.” She looked up guiltily. “Does that shock you?”
Anna laughed. “Not at all.”
“Truly?” There was a note of desperation in Victoria’s voice that pleaded with Anna to show her the way back to normalcy.
“My dear Victoria, we all wonder how we might have lived our lives differently. However, you have to put aside such silly nonsense before it gets out of control. You once found life with your husband to be most satisfying. You told me that despite being poor and traveling from place to place, you felt nothing but an overwhelming thanks to God for having given you Kiernan.”
“That’s true,” Victoria replied. “But then the issue of having a child came up.”
“And it’s that issue once again, and not your distaste or lack of interest in Kiernan, that is at the root of your trouble here.” She reached out and took hold of Victoria’s hand. “I believe God is trying to warn you, Victoria. He’s giving you all manner of discomfort in your actions and thoughts because, while you may not yet have crossed any improper line, the time may be near when you won’t have much say about what happens. Thorndike strikes me as one of those men who is used to taking what he wants, regardless of the consequences. I don’t want to see you hurt, Victoria.”
“Neither do I,” Victoria said seriously. “It haunts me day and night.”
“Give it over to God and put it away from you before it’s too late.”
Victoria nodded. “I know you’re right, but what should I do?”
“The next time Thorndike appears with his gifts, reject him firmly. Tell him you will no longer have anything to do with him. Better yet, write him a letter. Tell him that he should in no way ever approach you again. That you are a married woman who is deeply in love with her husband.” Anna’s expression softened. “Then you must, for your sake and Kiernan’s, accept that you may never have a child of your own. Pray about it, turn it over to God, and trust Him for the outcome, but realize that the answer may be no. You have to accept this and learn to move forward. Otherwise, I fear you’ll take it out on Kiernan and he on you until . . . well, then your marriage will struggle to survive.”
The front door opened and slammed shut with such a resounding echo that both women jumped.
“Ted?” Anna called. “Is that you?”
“Yes” came the exasperated voice. “Who else would threaten to bring down the walls?”
“Perhaps I should go,” Victoria said.
“Let’s just see what has happened with Mr. Judah’s railroad,” Anna replied and motioned for Victoria to remain seated. “Now I’m sure I can use your moral support.” Then she added to her husband, “We’re in the sitting room, dear. Why don’t you come join us for lemonade and pastries.”
Ted appeared in the arched doorway and forced a smile. “Good day, ladies. I’m sure I’ll find you infinitely better company than Collis Huntington.”
“Collis again, dear?” Victoria remained silent and watched as Anna sought to comfort her husband.
“He’s changing everything, Anna. He doesn’t care about a transcontinental road as I do. He wants prosperity for Sacramento—even California—but he doesn’t seem overly concerned with how we connect to the nation and the profit to be made from making the course easier for travel.”
“What is he doing now?” Anna asked softly, handing her husband a glass of lemonade.
“He’s changing the route. Instead of allowing the track to pass by the north levee, he has determined that the cost will be too high. This route requires a $200,000 work of riprap to protect the line from the flooding of the river. Huntington has decided that the route will be moved from the present site and positioned up ‘I’ Street.”
“And the governor agrees with this, I suppose?”
“Don’t even get me started in regard to Stanford. I swear, Collis has the man eating from his hand. He and Stanford talk of the line as though I have no part in it. They discuss matters openly in front of me but not with me. I might as well not exist as far as they are concerned.” Instead of the conversation mollifying Ted’s anger, it only seemed to inflame it. With a suddenness that startled both women, he slammed the glass down on the side table and got to his feet to pace.
“I’ve told them over and over that we must work together. That we must act as one body, but they never listen. Now Collis is all up in arms because I dared to say that he was wrong to reroute the line without consulting me first. I am the engineer here. I surveyed the line and told them where to build. Not only that, but they are hoodwinking the president and Congress to believe that the Sierras begin just seven miles outside of town, and they all believe this to be a perfectly acceptable business practice. How those men can show their faces in church on Sunday is beyond me.”
Anna smiled at Victoria before speaking. “Perhaps they live by different rules than we do.”
Ted finally stopped pacing and came to lean on the back of his chair. “I’m tired, Anna. Tired of trying to help them see what this project means to this state. Tired of fighting one battle, only to have it open up the field for ten more. I’m seriously thinking of leaving it all and going home.”
Anna got to her feet, and Victoria marveled that she remained so calm in light of Ted’s declaration. She didn’t seem in the slightest way concerned for their future.
“My darling, if that is what you want, then you know I am behind you. I hate to see you give up on your dream after working so hard, but as you’ve shown me many times, often we have to let go of a thing in order to see it more clearly in the light of truth. Maybe this project will never be what you foresee it to be, but then again, maybe it will be something even better. Just know that I will support whatever decision you make.”
He took hold of her hand and patted it lovingly. “You are a good wife, Anna. Standing by me these many years of traveling and being unsettled has certainly not been easy for you.”
“No, but loving you has made it tolerable,” she said, smiling sweetly.
Without warning, Ted’s entire countenance changed. He dropped hold of Anna and exclaimed, “James Bailey!”
“What?” Anna questioned, somewhat taken aback.
“James Bailey. The new secretary for the Central Pacific. He feels much the same as I do in regard to the line. I will solicit his help and see if we can’t forge a scheme together and eliminate Collis Huntington’s interference.”
“Do you suppose that’s possible?”
Ted rebuttoned his coat and headed for the door. “I supposed a transcontinental railroad possible when no one else would even consider it! Bailey may well be the answer to all my problems. Don’t wait up for me!”
Anna shook her head as Ted fairly flew from the room and slammed the front door on his way out. She looked at Victoria, but instead of smiling, she was quite grave. “I fear this railroad will be the death of him, Victoria.”
Victoria nodded sympathetically. “I’ve feared the same for Kiernan, especially now with him off at the Donner Pass site.”
“I suppose we must be strong.” Anna sat back down in the chair she’d earlier vacated. “But I love Ted so, and without him, my life would no
t be complete. I can’t even bear to imagine it.”
“Then don’t,” Victoria replied, reaching across to comfort Anna with a gentle pat. “We needn’t seek out trouble.”
“No, I’m sure trouble will be more than happy to seek us out in time.”
Her grim expression left Victoria fearful inside. She longed with all of her heart that Kiernan might be at the apartment when she returned, but she knew that wouldn’t happen. Their separation was weighing her down, and in light of Anna’s obvious concern, it only made matters worse. It was then and there Victoria decided that should Kiernan return home safe and sound, she would insist on being allowed to follow him on the line. Living without him was driving her to places of temptation and bitter anguish. She would do as Anna suggested and find a way to accept her lot in life, but she would do it with Kiernan at her side.
33
The heat of the August sun bore down on Kiernan’s neck as he rode to the Central Pacific supply office in Sacramento. Having traveled the better part of a week on horseback, Kiernan was on his way to find out what the problems were with the CP building schedule and secure supplies for the Donner Pass road.
Crocker had wanted to send someone else, but Kiernan felt a desperation to see Victoria. He couldn’t stop thinking of her, and with each passing day it became more and more apparent that he would be of little good to anyone if he didn’t get back home and sort through their differences.
It still grieved him to know that they’d parted on less than the best of terms. There had been a sort of amicable separation as Kiernan went north with Crocker, but the issues between them were still hovering ominously over them. Kiernan realized he’d allowed things to get completely out of hand. He should never have gone with Crocker without first making certain Victoria knew of his deep, abiding love. He should have dealt with his own guilt and grief long before leaving Sacramento, and he should have talked things over with Victoria.
It was funny how it all seemed so clear now. Maybe it took getting away for several weeks in order to see the truth of their circumstances. The fact of the matter was that long ago they had stopped talking to each other. Oh, they still maintained a surface appearance of discussion, but usually they talked only of mining or the railroad. Now that their separation had allowed him time to think about things, Kiernan realized he’d stopped seeking intimate discussions with Victoria about the same time he’d lost her fortune. This was hard to accept and take responsibility for, especially in light of the six years that had passed in the meanwhile. Kiernan could easily see every point where their refusal to speak on important issues of the heart had further driven a wedge in their marriage.
Lord, I’ve been a fool, he prayed. I’m hopin’ it’s not too late. I’m askin’ ya to help me make things right again.
“Kiernan?” the voice of Ted Judah called from up ahead.
Kiernan waved and reined back on his mount. “Ted, it’s good to be seein’ ya.”
“I must say the same,” Ted replied. “We’ve nothing but a nightmare on our hands.”
Kiernan smiled and dismounted. “So the elephant refuses to be harnessed?”
Ted shook his head. “The elephant refuses to be an elephant.”
Laughing, Kiernan questioned his friend. “So what is this all about? A message came sayin’ to discontinue work. What’s happened?”
“Huntington,” Ted fairly growled. “That man will be the death of me yet. He has taken up refusing to listen to any advice I try to give him. Thinks he knows it all. I went to him with James Bailey and suggested he rethink his plans for moving the line from the river to ‘I’ Street, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”
“And when did he go decidin’ to make this move?” Kiernan asked, pulling his horse over to the hitching post.
“Several weeks ago. I tried to reason with him, but he was concerned about the cost of putting in the flood barriers. Said it wasn’t prudent and moved the line.”
“Did he, now?”
“He did, and when James Bailey and I complained, he simply told us it was for the best. The next thing we know, we’re each presented with our share of the bill for the cost of moving the line.”
“How’s that?” Kiernan was surprised about this sharing of the bill. It seemed odd indeed. “I was thinkin’ ya had a central fund for these things.”
“Oh, we do, but money is tight. The board members all agreed to equally share the additional costs. James flatly refused, however. He said he’d not been given a voice in the matter and he wouldn’t pay. Huntington proposed Bailey either sell out or pay up, and still James refused. With that, Huntington decided to halt production on the line. James and I have spent these last weeks trying desperately to find someone to buy out Huntington. I believe with him gone we’d be able to finally accomplish something positive with the line.”
“And did ya go findin’ someone to buy him out?”
“No,” Ted replied, shaking his head in total dejection. “I thought we had Charles McLaughlin from Boston. But once Mr. McLaughlin found out that it was Huntington’s stocks he’d been buying, he backed out. He wired to say that whatever would send Huntington out from the project would also keep him out.”
Kiernan considered suggesting his father-in-law as a prospective buyer, but with James not long in the country, a business transaction of this size might be difficult at best. Moreover, Kiernan feared that in discussing such a business arrangement, the loss of Victoria’s money might come to light. He knew he was going to have to confess what had happened to James and Carolina. He just wished that when he did so, he might be a prosperous man in his own right.
“So now what?” Kiernan said.
“James is going to resign his position as secretary and sell off his stock.”
“For sure that’s too bad. What about yarself?” Kiernan studied his friend. Ted was a man of determination and purpose. It seemed a shame that such misfortune should have to come to him in the midst of his dream.
Ted shook his head again. “I don’t know. I’m beginning to think it may well be the only way.”
“Quittin’?”
“I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge, but this time is different. I’m tired of fighting a war nobody else seems to want to win.”
“Just doesn’t seem like somethin’ ya would be doin’.”
“I know it doesn’t,” Ted replied. “And that’s what makes it particularly hard. I’ll probably sell out just as Bailey will do. Then Anna and I will return east, where things are more civilized and people understand the value of listening to those who have knowledge of a thing.”
“Oh, and they do that back east, do they? I never saw it when I was there.”
Kiernan laughed, but Ted would not be cheered or humored. “I should go talk to Anna. This will affect her too.”
Kiernan suddenly realized that Ted was quite determined about quitting the Central Pacific. “Wait, Ted. Don’t be actin’ in haste! Remember there’s still a war going on back east!”
But it was too late. Ted Judah was no longer interested in discussing the matter further. He made his way down the street, shoulders hunched in his misery, his head bent as if in prayer.
Kiernan felt a deep sorrow for his friend, and even as he conducted business in the supply office, his mind was on Ted. After handing over the orders and paper work Crocker had sent with him and making provision for his mount, Kiernan dusted off his pants and headed up the road toward his apartment.
He quickly forgot about Ted and the issue of their possible move east. Now his mind was fixed on Victoria. He had to talk to her. Had to help her see that his heart had changed. He knew the problem and wanted to help bring about a resolution.
Pushing up the bill of his cap, Kiernan entered the apartment and took the stairs two at a time. He silently wished he could have stopped and cleaned himself up a bit more, maybe purchased Victoria some little trinket as a surprise, but there’d been neither the time nor money to waste.
Rea
ching the top step, Kiernan could see that the door to his apartment was wide open. That didn’t make sense. What was Victoria thinking leaving it open like that? He approached without further consideration and stopped in stunned surprise at the sight before him.
Victoria was in the arms of another man—the very man she had danced with so long ago at the party. And Thorndike was taking a very obvious liberty by kissing her full on the mouth. Kiernan felt as though he were frozen in place. He saw the situation much like a dream, where he could only watch and do nothing.
“I told you to leave me alone!” Victoria demanded, struggling against the man’s arms.
“But you don’t mean it,” Thorndike said, trying to kiss her again.
Only when Kiernan saw that Victoria was fighting the man off was he able to shake away his stunned surprised and spring into action.
“And what would ya be doin’ with me wife?” Kiernan yelled in a roaring voice that caused the man to instantly let go of Victoria.
Christopher Thorndike turned in surprise at the very moment Kiernan’s fist connected with his nose. Thorndike gasped and cursed, his hand flying to his face only to encounter a trickle of blood oozing from his bashed nose.
Victoria backed away from the fight, but Kiernan caught the distinct expression of relief in her face as he went after Thorndike to finish the job.
Thorndike, however, was no fool. He was now ready for Kiernan and managed to get a glancing blow off to the side of Kiernan’s head before Kiernan fisted the man again, this time bloodying his lip.
“Get out of me house and leave off with botherin’ me wife.” His brogue was heavy, his tone deadly.
“You don’t deserve her,” Thorndike said, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. He obviously believed this would signal an end to the physical portion of their fight.
But Kiernan was panting, thirsting for more, rage flaming in his green eyes. “Neither does the likes of yarself,” Kiernan retorted.
Kiernan, never one to stand on ceremony where a fight was concerned, grabbed the man and threw him out the door. Thorndike nearly fell over the banister, and Kiernan secretly wished the flimsy rail would give way and plunge the man to the floor below.
Westward the Dream Page 27