Jax gave an internal shake of his head. He shouldn’t read too much into the situation. It had been a simple hug between friends–nothing more—even if Jax’s skin was still tingling from Alvus’ touch.
He glanced over at Ava. She blinked at him then mouthed, What the hell? He shook his head in response. He did not want to make a big deal over the issue. Ava was always trying to find him a boyfriend. He didn’t need her meddling, even if she was only doing it out of love for him.
“We better get going, or we’re going to be late,” Philip said.
They all rose from their seats then put up their trays. They left the cafeteria and joined the others in the training facility. As usual, when Jax walked in an awe-inspiring sensation swept over him as he stared at all the weapons that were on the walls. There were swords, real freaking blades, like the ones in movies. and just about every other weapon imaginable. Some Jax didn’t even know were still used. He’d only seen them in history books before he joined the Academy. They even had frigging maces up there.
The only thing missing were guns, but that was only because there was a range located on the other side of the huge room. As usual, that area was dark and quiet. Jax made a mental note to try to come in when it was open. He would like to see what kind of firepower the soldiers were using. He knew it had to be pretty awesome.
“So, you ready to get smacked down onto the mat?” Alvus asked as they faced each other.
Jax laughed. “That will let me know nothing has changed for sure.”
Logan walked over to Jax and put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay to do this?”
“Yes, I can’t wait,” Jax replied with a grin.
“Make sure you know what you’re asking for. You may regret it,” Logan replied with a smile of his own.
Logan then went to the front of the room. Using his assistant, he demonstrated the moves they would be working on for the day. As usual, it was a defense situation. He’d told them before they needed to be able to fight off an attack before they learned anything else.
Jax and Alvus began to spar. When Alvus didn’t hold back any, it made Jax feel less of an invalid. It even allowed him to relax some. Being seen as an equal again when it came to training made the final puzzle pieces fall into place.
However, his backside had other opinions. Alvus made good on his promise to make Jax one with the mat. Jax even began to feel a personal relationship with the damn thing since his face was being slammed onto it so many times.
Then Jax finally managed to get the best of Alvus. The next time Alvus swung at him, Jax quickly dodged the blow. He then brought his foot around and swept Alvus’ feet out from under him. Alvus let out a grunt before he fell to the ground with a loud thud.
“Shoot!” Jax exclaimed as he brought his hands to his mouth.
“It’s okay,” Alvus assured him, although he seemed to be getting up awfully slow.
Jax lowered his hands. “I didn’t mean to hit your legs that hard.”
“You did right. Logan always tells us not to hold back.” Alvus finally got to his feet. “I guess all the extra training we’ve been doing has paid off. We’ll have to make sure to keep it up.”
Alvus shot Jax a crooked smile. Damn if it didn’t make Jax feel giddy inside. Alvus had always been so nice, yet this time seemed different for some reason. Jax found himself basking in the approval almost like he’d won a damn medal or something.
They continued to spar for the rest of class. While Jax didn’t manage to take Alvus down again, he still did well. He even stayed off the ground for most of the time. Jax even earned a nod from Logan, which was another new occurrence. Maybe Jax wasn’t as helpless as he’d thought.
Afterward they ate a quick dinner so they were able to go to the student lounge and watch television. One of Jax’s favorite shows was on, but he wasn’t able to concentrate. While he was sitting next to Ava, Jax found himself aware of Alvus and his every move.
Alvus sat all the way across the room, but Jax kept glancing up at him. To his shock, he often found Alvus looking right back. Jax tried hard to read the expression in Alvus’ face but he may as well have been a blank slate.
“What is going on with you?” Ava whispered.
Jax started. Shit, he hadn’t realized he was being so obvious. If Ava had noticed him staring at Alvus, had anybody else? Jax didn’t even want to think about the comments that would be coming his way if that were true. Just what he needed, for everybody to think he was fawning over Alvus, because he wasn’t...honestly.
“There’s nothing going on,” Jax replied in what he hoped was an innocent voice.
“Bull,” Ava scoffed. “You’re a terrible liar. You always have been. You’re aware of that, so why are you even trying? I know there’s something going on with you and Alvus.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, right. So, why don’t I see Philip cuddling up to you in the cafeteria? I was about ready to tell you two to get a room during lunch today.”
Jax shook his head. “He was just comforting me. Nothing more.”
Jax darted a quick glance over at Alvus. While he and Ava were keeping their tone low, Jax didn’t want Alvus to overhear them. If that were to happen, Jax would have died from embarrassment.
“I’m not so sure of that,” Ava said. “I never told you how he reacted when you got shot. When he finally woke up and found out you were in emergency surgery, he nearly lost it. He was so worked up over it, the doctors had to sedate him.”
“Of course he was worried about me, we’re friends,” Jax argued. He wondered how many times he was going to have to repeat that last statement before Ava dropped the subject.
“No, it was more than that. He was fighting to get to your side, even after they gave him the happy juice. He kept saying he failed you, that it was his responsibility to make sure you were safe. He almost acted like he owned you or something. It was much deeper than just friendship,” she said, her eye narrowing thoughtfully.
Jax shook his head. He didn’t want to believe what Ava said was true. If he did, then he might actually start thinking there could be something between him and Alvus. Jax knew it would only lead to him getting his heart broken.
“You’re wrong,” Jax argued.
Ava made a noise in the back of her throat. It was the same sound she used whenever she disagreed with Jax.
“If you want to believe that then go ahead,” she replied. “Just don’t act surprised when the truth comes out and socks you in the face.”
Jax glanced over at Alvus. The Jaguar wasn’t staring back this time. Instead he was deep into conversation with Philip. Whatever they were talking about must have been good, too. They were whispering frantically to each other. Jax strained to hear what they were saying, but he couldn’t catch a single word.
Then Alvus looked up. Jax found himself locking gazes with Alvus. For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Every brain cell in Jax’s head was honed in to the other male. His throat grew tight as his heart hammered in his chest so hard it almost hurt.
Jax studied Alvus carefully. He really was good looking. His blond hair had grown out some during the previous month, so it was no longer military short. A wisp swept over his forehead, it made his already beautiful blue eyes all the more intense.
While many of the students had trouble telling Alvus apart from his twin, that wasn’t the same for Jax. While they might have shared the same artfully sculpted cheekbones and lean bodies, Alvus was a step above Philip.
Alvus had dimples, while Philip had none. Alvus always had a playful, yet appealing expression on his face. He also carried himself differently. It was as if he didn’t give a care, yet at the same time he exuded self-confidence. Jax always was able to pick Alvus out, even when he was standing in a crowd.
A heat came over Jax’s cheeks, and he ducked his head. He snuggled closer to Ava, taking comfort in her arms. As always, she was his anchor. His heart began to slow down and he finally managed to breath
regularly.
“It’s nothing. We’re just friends,” he repeated.
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?” Ava challenged.
Jax didn’t reply. Deep down he knew he wasn’t sure of that answer.
Chapter Four
Jax woke up with a loud gasp. His breaths were ragged, and sweat dotted his forehead. It took him several moments to realize what was going on, and when he did, he let out a groan of frustration. Shit, another nightmare. That made it the second one that night alone.
He let out a frustrated groan. He’d believed once he got back to his normal schedule he’d be able to finally get some decent sleep. It didn’t look as if that would be in the cards after all. Damn it to hell, anyways.
He glanced around the room. Dark shadows covered most of the bunks, but he didn’t hear any stirring. He let out a sigh. At least it didn’t appear as if he’d woken anybody else up. so he had that going in his favor, however small that may be.
Anger bubbled inside him, making him want to punch the wall. He couldn’t do even that, though. The noise would make Ava wake up then she would insist on coddling him. While Jax appreciated her concern, he already was enough of a trouble to her. He didn’t want to add sleepless nights to the list.
Jax ran a hand through his hair as bits and fragments of his dream danced through his mind. His father had been there. So had the Assassin who’d attacked him, which was dumb. Logan had killed the asshole. Jax had watched it all go down in all its bloody glory.
“Hey, you okay?” somebody whispered.
Jax jumped a mile since the voice came from right next to him. He glanced over and was just able to see it was Alvus. The Jaguar didn’t appear to be sleepy at all, making Jax wonder how much the male may have overheard. Jax inwardly winced and hoped he didn’t talk in his sleep.
“I’m fine,” Jax lied.
“No, you’re not. You had another nightmare,” Alvus argued with a slight shake of his head.
“How did you know about them?”
Jax slightly sat up as confusion filled him. He thought back to all the recent conversations he’d had. Alvus hadn’t been around when Jax had mentioned his bad dreams, so he couldn’t figure out how the Jaguar could possibly know about them.
“Because I’ve been having them too,” Alvus admitted.
Jax blinked in surprise. “I’ve been up for most nights since I got out of the infirmary. How did I miss that?”
“Because I’ve been hiding it. I’ve heard you wandering around or tossing in bed. I just haven’t gotten up and talked to you.”
“Why not?”
Alvus shrugged. “I guess I didn’t want anybody to know I was having issues from the attack. I already feel like a loser because that Assassin got the drop on me so quickly. I just didn’t want to look even weaker.”
“I don’t think it makes you look weak at all. Plus, you can’t blame yourself for that Assassin hitting you. He was a highly trained killer. The only reason I was able to get help for us is because of sheer luck.”
“Don’t talk that way,” Alvus replied in a harsh whisper. “You did it because you remembered your training and refused to give up.”
For a moment, Jax thought about arguing the point, in the end he decided to take the compliment. “Thanks.”
“Scoot over.”
Jax tilted his head to the side. “Why?”
“Because, I’m getting into bed with you,” Alvus replied simply.
Alvus in the same bed as him? Jax wasn’t about to pass up that offer.
“Are you sure? We could get into trouble,” Jax still said, even as he moved to the side.
“We’re not going to get frisky or anything. It’s just two friends offering each other comfort. Right?”
“Right,” Jax replied, feeling as tad bit disappointed.
He fully realized he should be relieved Alvus didn’t want to start anything. Jax didn’t want to get into something that could very well ruin their friendship. He valued the relationship he shared with Alvus, yet a tiny part of Jax wondered what it would be like to kiss the Jaguar. It didn’t have to be a big one, just a tiny peck would do.
Alvus climbed into the bed. It was really only built for one student, so there wasn’t much space, even though Jax was small. But once Alvus wrapped his arms around Jax they managed.
For a few moments Jax remained stiff, unsure of what the boundaries were. Then he felt the warmth from Alvus’ body seeping into his bones, and Jax began to relax. He even rested his cheek on Alvus’ chest. The Jaguar had some impressive pecs. Jax allowed himself a secret smile. Hell, if he could have, he may have even purred.
“Ava is going to bust us as soon as she wakes up,” Jax felt compelled to warn.
“I’ll make sure I’m gone by then. I already set the alarm on my phone before I came over here.”
Jax laughed. “You were that sure I would share my bed with you?”
“Let’s just say I was hopeful. I need the comfort as much as you do.”
“Yes, it’s just two friends helping each other out,” Jax repeated.
Even as Jax said that, he had to shift his hips to the side. Otherwise, Alvus might discover Jax’s very unfriendly response to being held. He couldn’t help it, though. Just being in such an intimate embrace with the handsome male was making his body hum.
“It’s all innocent,” Alvus replied.
Yet his fingers began to stroke Jax’s back. The touch felt light, but there was no denying it. Nor could Jax deny how much he liked it. He even cuddled in deeper with a little sigh.
“Go to sleep,” Alvus ordered.
Yeah, right. Like that was going to happen when Jax was so turned on, but since he couldn’t very well say that, he just nodded and closed his eyes. He knew it was helpless. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep. His damn insomnia was going to make sure of that.
§ § § §
The next time Jax opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming through the windows and he was alone in the bed. A pang of disappointment hit him, but he knew it was for the best. He’d been right about them being in trouble if they were discovered. One of the biggest rules of the Academy was no messing around during the night.
Jax pulled his phone out to check the time. The only reason he had a cell at all was because Mitchell had gotten it for him. If Jax got up at that moment, he’d have time to catch a quick breakfast before classes started. Since his stomach was already growling, he decided to move.
As he got up, he glanced over at Alvus’ bed. The Jaguar appeared to be sleeping. Jax resisted the temptation to reach for Alvus. If the male was actually out, Jax didn’t want to disturb him. Plus, Jax really didn’t know if Alvus would welcome the touch. He’d said twice they were only two friends comforting each other, so Jax knew that’s all Alvus saw it as. It was obvious he actually wasn’t attracted to Jax.
Jax quickly got dressed then made his way to the cafeteria. He barely paid attention to what he was putting on his tray. All he could think about was how good it’d felt to fall asleep in Alvus’ arms.
When he walked out into the seating area, Kira waved him over. For the first time ever Jax didn’t feel like company. He wanted to sit down and go over every moment of the previous night, but he knew if he didn’t go over there Kira would bombard him with questions, so Jax made his way over.
“You look better today,” Willow said by way of greeting.
“What do you mean?” Jax asked with a frown. “I already told you guys that I’m completely healed. I may not have had my first shift yet, but I’m not a human who takes forever to recover.”
“I’m talking about your face. For once you’re not all haggard with bags under your eyes. For a while, I was considering suggesting you become an extra for a zombie movie.” Willow waved her fork in his direction.
“Thanks?” Jax replied, slowly.
It couldn’t be said that Willow wasn’t blunt. Some may have thought she was being mean, but Jax was used to it. She didn’t
mean anything malicious. It was just the way Willow worked.
“So, you finally got some sleep?” Kira asked.
Jax blinked in surprise. “Uh...yeah.”
Kira sighed. “We’re your friends, Jax. We see you every day, so we could tell you’ve been suffering from some major insomnia. We just didn’t want to mention it since you’ve been kind of touchy lately.”
“I have?” Jax asked in confusion.
Brad rolled his eyes. “Yeah, just now you were kind of snippy when you reminded us you weren’t a slow healer.”
“Not that we blame you,” Erin added. “You went through something pretty big. It’s only normal to react the way you have been. Any one of us would be the same way. We’ve had more training than you, too, so we should be better prepared emotionally and physically.”
That had to be the biggest sentence Jax had ever heard Erin say. Usually the older male remained silent or uttered one word sentences, not that he was dumb or anything. Quite the opposite, he just often was a silent observer.
“Sorry,” Jax whispered, ducking his head. “I didn’t mean to be such an asshole.”
Erin reached over and grabbed Jax’s hand. “It’s okay. We’re not mad at you. Just remember you’re not going through this alone. If you ever need anybody to talk to I’m here for you. All you have to do is ask.”
Jax looked down at their hands. He’d never imagined Erin would make such a nice offer, let alone, willingly touch somebody. But he was doing it, and it made Jax feel a lot better.
“I will, I promise,” Jax said.
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Erin replied, running the pad of his thumb over Jax’s knuckles.
“Thanks,” Jax replied.
Erin gave him one more squeeze before letting go. Jax awkwardly brought his hand back then began to eat. The whole conversation was beginning to get a little too deep for him. He much preferred to be talking about something lighter.
Blood Doesn't Decide (Coalition Training Academy Book 2) Page 3