by Nadirah Foxx
She bobbed her head. “Ximena.”
Damn. It wasn’t often Mama used my full name. When she did, it was usually important.
“I know Chance broke your heart, but something tells me you broke his too.”
“How can you say that?” I exclaimed. “I wasn’t the one caught with my pants down!”
Mama tapped my arm. “True. To this day that still makes me uncomfortable.” She cleared her throat. “Does Chance know what happened?”
“I don’t care what Chance Hanlon knows. He didn’t bother sticking around to find out.”
“Instead of condemning the man, you could ask him why he left.”
Oh, I knew why he left. It was the reason any guy left. He wasn’t that into me.
Our relationship must have been some sick twisted dare instigated by Avery. Hearing his side of the tale was unnecessary.
“No, Mama. There’s nothing I—”
“Your father and I always asked questions of you and your brothers and got the full story. Remember, Chance was part of our family once. He deserves the Ibarra treatment too.”
She was wrong. The Ibarra treatment meant fairness before judgment. The only thing Chance deserved was a swift kick in the balls. Maybe I should have done that when I caught him instead of driving off.
“Mija, your father’s integrity is the reason so many people showed up at his funeral. It’s why Chance was at the cemetery. It’s why he’s inside with your brothers.”
My mouth dropped.
He couldn’t be here. Why was he inserting himself back into my life?
“Make him leave, Mama.”
“I’ll do no such thing. He brought his son.”
I swallowed hard. How could I look at the child knowing who his mother was? He was a blatant reminder of what transpired years ago.
“He’s a beautiful little boy, mija.” Mama leaned closer. “He didn’t get to come to the funeral, but Chance wanted his son to know about your father.”
An invisible fist reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. Papa had been about fairness, but there was nothing fair about my life. Chance was to blame for how it turned out. Part of me had hoped never to see him again.
Chapter Two
Chance
Damn.
I didn’t mean to upset her. Maybe I should have stayed away. How could I have done that? Sheriff José Ibarra had been more of a father to me than my own. If it hadn’t been for Papa Joe, I would have never become a real contender to fight professionally.
The man gave me a home when I finally stood up to my gin-soaked bully of a father. Papa Joe helped me channel my anger and do something meaningful with it.
And then I went and fucked the wrong girl. Broke Ximena’s heart into a million pieces.
What was going on with the crutches?
Men I once considered brothers stood on the other side of the room. From the scowls on their faces, it was clear they thought of me as the scum of the earth. What the fuck did I do to them? Angel, Junior, Cris and Diego were my family. We used to get into all kinds of shit together. What changed? Was their animosity directed at the miniature version of me clinging to my leg?
Chancellor Clarke, called CJ even though he wasn’t a junior, was the outcome of one regrettable night eight years ago. To this day I could barely recall all the details. I remembered waking up in my car, looking at the dashboard clock, and realizing I was late. I had planned to meet with a possible trainer in Albuquerque. I recalled talking to the man, but nothing of what transpired before it.
Obviously, I had sex, otherwise CJ wouldn’t be here. But why Avery? I couldn’t stand the girl. Too many times Avery came on to me, but I never entertained anything with her. I didn’t like clingy girls—still didn’t.
It was the reason why I did the paternity test. Half-truth. My manager strongly insisted I do it. Syd French didn’t play around. He said too many fighters got caught up in the nonsense because of a supposed one-night stand.
But the boy was mine.
I accepted the responsibility and stopped trying to figure out Avery.
She wanted marriage, but I couldn’t do it. My heart belonged to another, so I did the next best thing. I made sure CJ was cared for. Since Avery’s parents provided a nice house for her, I paid child support although I wasn’t obligated by law.
The Ibarra boys, however, knew about Avery. They’d met CJ when he was still in diapers. My son couldn’t be the reason for their anger. Maybe they were pissed about why he existed.
I got that.
Every fucking day, that simple fact irked the shit out of me. Then, I’d see CJ’s picture or a scribbled drawing he made for me, and I calmed down. My son wasn’t to blame for his old man’s fuck-up.
Suddenly, the door banged open. The ash-blonde, azure-blue-eyed pain-in-my-ass stormed in as if she owned the place. Technically, the venue belonged to the Clarke family. So I guess she did.
The addict-thin woman pushed past people who eagerly got out of her way. Her gaze narrowed when she saw me with CJ. She stalked right up to us.
“Why is my child with these people?” she bit out.
I hated how Avery disrespected me, especially in front of my son. “Calm down. I didn’t take him to the funeral. He’s only here to see his family.”
“His family?” She laughed callously. “These people aren’t his kin.”
Did I mention she hated Ximena Ibarra?
Avery pointed a pink-painted claw at herself. “I gave birth to him. Let’s go, Chancellor.”
My son gazed up at me with his baby blues. “Dad?”
“Go on, CJ. I’ll come see you tomorrow.”
He nodded and went back to our table to grab his jacket.
In a lowered voice, I said, “Was that necessary?”
“If you wouldn’t take him where he didn’t belong…”
If I hadn’t put my dick where it didn’t belong…
“I’ll come by early in the morning to pick him up and get him some breakfast. Please have him ready to go.”
Her eyes widened, and her lips twisted. “Oh, now you want to be a father?”
People were staring. Angel and his siblings smirked in my direction.
“This is not the place, Avery. If you want to talk, we can do it tomorrow.” Unable to listen to her grating voice another minute, I walked over to CJ and kissed the top of his head. “Love you, buddy.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
Despite the ordeal with his mother, my son was the only thing good in my life. Rather than watch him go, I left the room. It wasn’t like anyone wanted me there, anyway.
◆◆◆
Honestly, there wasn’t any place I wanted to be. I no longer lived in El Domingo. After I buried Lor, I was done with the town. I had the keys to his house, but I wouldn’t go back there. Doing so was more of a punishment than reliving happy times.
When I reached the courtyard, I stopped. Just a few feet away sat the woman I lost. The woman I would have done anything for. Instead, I did everything to.
I broke her heart.
I kept my distance.
But it wasn’t my choice.
My meeting in Albuquerque, which was postponed for some unknown reason, went well. I had a trainer. He wanted me to move closer to his gym instead of commuting back and forth from El Domingo.
When I returned, I went straight to the Ibarra home. Angel blocked my entry.
“What gives, bro?” I adjusted the duffel slung across my chest and shuffled my feet.
I was so excited to speak to Ximena. She could attend the University of New Mexico while I pursued a real career as an MMA fighter. We’d have it all. Just the two of us.
Angel planted his legs wide and folded his arms. “You’re not my brother. You don’t even qualify as a friend.”
“What the fuck? Man, where’s Ximena?”
“You’re not welcome here anymore.”
“Since when?” I tried to push past him.
He pushed back
.
On any given day, I could have cleaned the floor with the man. He was no match for me. Papa Joe used to have us spar. The last time we did I knocked Angel out. It took him a few minutes to wake up from that punch.
“Ximena wants nothing more to do with you.” He reached inside the door and held up two more of my duffels. Angel shoved them at me. “Take your shit and get out. If I see you around here again, I’ll stick one of Pop’s rifles so far up your ass you’ll taste the bullets!”
It was enough of a warning for me. I tossed my shit in the car and sped out of town.
In hindsight, I was wrong. I should have stuck around. Spoke to Ximena herself. Months later, I heard she’d been in a car accident. I didn’t have the details but knew she survived. Instead of tracking her down, I heeded Angel’s warning and tried to forget the love of my life.
But I couldn’t…
From the shadows, I watched Eleana Ibarra kiss her daughter’s temple and then walk away. She slipped through a door on the other side of the courtyard.
Did I dare go to Ximena?
After all this time, could she forgive me?
Only way to find out was to do it.
My feet slogged across the ground, closing the distance between us.
“Ximena.”
Her head whipped up. She smiled like the girl I once knew, but as soon as she saw me, it disappeared. All that remained was anger.
My life in a nutshell.
I evoked rage in every woman who knew me. It had been eight years. Eight fucking years. That was a hell of a long time not to be in a relationship with anyone.
A while back, I became so lonely I considered trying with Avery. I offered to move in with her and help raise CJ. She didn’t want to shack up. It was marriage or nothing. I chose the latter.
“Get the hell out of here,” Ximena spat out.
“I’m leaving. I just wanted—”
“What? You wanted to rub your relationship with Avery in my face?”
“There’s nothing between us,” I said flatly.
Ximena’s eyes went cold. “So your son means nothing?”
Low blow.
I raked a hand over my face. “That’s not what I meant or what you asked. CJ is everything to me.”
She mumbled, “I used to be everything to you.”
You’re still everything to me.
“We should talk. Can I sit down?”
My ex shook her head vehemently. “There’s nothing you can say to me. I hate the ground you walk on!”
Speaking of walking…
“When did it happen?” I asked innocently.
“When?” She practically choked on the word.
Did I say something wrong?
“You’re an asshole, Chance Hanlon! I wish I’d never met you!”
I could be as patient as the next guy, but my tolerance was wearing thin. She was accusing me of something I didn’t know about.
Holding up my palms, I said, “Hey, can we at least get on the same page? My question was innocent. I read about your accident in a text message. It didn’t say what happened or what the outcome was.”
Her brow furrowed. “From who?”
Reluctantly, I said, “Avery.”
“That figures. The bitch couldn’t wait to tell you bad news about me.” Ximena reached for her crutches. I rushed to help her. “Stop! I’ve been doing this without you. I don’t need you now!”
“Okay.” I backed up and let her stand on her own. “Is this permanent?”
She bit her lip. “Are you saying you know nothing about my accident?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “The message only said it happened. Nothing more.”
Ximena’s gaze clouded briefly. “You never came back.”
“Yeah, I did.” I blew air through my cheeks. “I had a meeting with a trainer in Albuquerque. I came back to the house. Angel said you didn’t want to see me again. He gave me my stuff and told me to get out of town. You never called me.”
“Why would I? You showed me exactly where you wanted to be. Or should I say who you wanted to be with?”
Another low blow. It was deserved.
“Ximena, I still don’t know what happened that night.”
My fists tightened. I wasn’t angry with her, but I wanted to punch the shit out of a bag or something. Unlike the man who gave me life, I’d never hit a woman.
That philosophy saved Avery’s scrawny neck on more than one occasion.
Ximena leaned heavily on her crutches. “You honestly want me to believe you don’t remember fucking her?”
“No! I don’t remember it!” I punched my fist against my thigh. “That’s why I had a DNA test done!”
When Ximena swayed, I couldn’t help but rush to steady her. She allowed it and then sat down on the edge of the fountain. When she realized my hand was still on her arm, Ximena jerked it away.
“Don’t. Touch. Me.”
A flash of silver caught my eye. I glanced down at her left hand. On her ring finger was a rock bigger than any I’d ever seen. Nobody had to tell me twice. I backed away, putting considerable space between us.
“Don’t worry. I won’t make the mistake again.” I slid my hands into my pockets. “Just to make sure we’re clear. I don’t remember anything that happened with Avery. I woke up alone in my damn car. I don’t know how I managed it, but I spoke to the trainer. I ended up sleeping at Lor’s house and then drove to Albuquerque. As soon as the meeting was over, I drove back to El Domingo to share my news with you. Instead, I ran into Angel who told me to leave town. He didn’t tell me about an accident. No one told me about your injury.” My voice took on an ugly tone. “Nobody has meant what you mean to me. If I had known you were hurt, I would have been there. But it looks like you have someone now. I hope he’s good to you.”
I didn’t wait for a response.
Pivoting on my heel, I ran toward the gate. I had to get the fuck out of there.
It wasn’t like me to run from a challenge, but running was all I could do. Ximena Marie Ibarra was the only woman who ever broke me. Seeing that fucking ring was like a kick to the balls.
I shoved the key in the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot. There were two places I could go. The first was Lor’s house. I could get some sleep before going to see CJ. The other was the nearest bar. Thanks to my sperm donor, I didn’t drink much. I never drank hard liquor. At best, I’d indulge in a light beer, but it wasn’t good for my training. I had a big fight coming up. If I won it, I might be offered a professional contract. So I did the best thing. I pointed my 67 Mustang Fastback toward Highway 313 and headed to the house of horror known as my childhood home.
The only good thing about El Domingo was its size. Any point could be quickly reached within a few minutes. That night, however, more time would have been preferable. Driving across the gravel sounded like bullets. My heart thumped strongly to the noise.
Man, I’d really neglected the place. The mesh fence needed repairing. The grass had long died away. The dirt-cheap manufactured home Lor bought looked sad even in the dark.
I parked beneath the tree and got out. A dog barked in the distance. It was the only sign of life on the desolate street. The wooden stairs gave slightly as I climbed them. Mildew stains covered the bottom of the plain door. My key stuck in the lock, and I had to jiggle it to get it to work. Then the sucker wouldn’t budge. I threw my shoulder into the door and immediately regretted my decision. Pain ricocheted through my arm and down to my fingers. Rather than risk a fracture or something worse, I put my back to the barrier and kicked. The surface split before giving, and I tumbled backward.
Catching myself on the doorframe, I caught a whiff of something putrid.
“What the hell?” I shouted and buried my nose in the crook of my arm.
A broken window let in a cool breeze. It also had allowed every animal known to the area to enter. The living room had been ransacked. Shit and garbage covered the floor. I hurried back outside.
I walked around the side of the house toward the back. Lor had an oversized garage on the property. When he died, I emptied all of his shit out. I had planned to use it for storage but changed my mind.
Unlocking the door, I felt along the wall for the light. The place was still immaculate. It would work for one night. A few weeks ago, I went hiking with some other fighters. My gear was still in the trunk.
As I walked to my car, I thought about Ximena. If I was willing to give Lor’s place a breath of life, why couldn’t I do the same with my ex? Maybe she wasn’t that into the man she was engaged to.
Yeah, right. The size of that diamond said otherwise.
Then again, if they hadn’t tied the knot yet, I could try. I could fight for a second chance with her. Fight for what was mine for a change.
Fighting for Mine
(A TKO Love series MMA Romance)
is scheduled for release in April 2020. Sign up for my newsletter to receive a freebie and keep up to date on all the news!
https://pages.convertkit.com/e8b3b89544/ff-c357c767
Acknowledgments
A special thanks goes to my wonderful editor and friend, Tia Silverthorne Bach. You do a remarkable job of keeping me on my toes!
Thanks to the Blurb Doctor, Stacey Rourke! I so appreciate your expertise.
Thanks goes to the amazing team at Deranged Doctor Design for another stunning cover!
Of course, I can’t forget my husband and my daughter. Thanks for putting up with my crazy, long schedule and giving me the opportunity to do what I love. JR, you are appreciated much more than I can show.
Last, but not least, thanks Mom and Dad—for without them none of this is possible.
Also by Nadirah Foxx
Savage Charm
Dark Moon Falls
(Maddox)