Abel smiled. “Oh Chris, don’t you see?” He patted Chris’s cheek. “Just go to him and say the words.”
“The words?”
“I love you.”
“Stop looking out the window, Callie,” Callie told herself for the hundredth time. “He’s not coming.” Callie backed away from the window with a sigh. All last night until this morning she’s been peeking out the door and the window just for the chance to see Chris and after all this time he was still a no show.
“He hates me,” she whispered, “he probably can’t stand the sight of me anymore.” He hadn’t even called her.
“It’s my fault,” Callie muttered, “I should have told him the truth a long time ago.” She had made a mess out of everything. So many misunderstandings…
Slumping on the couch, she buried her face in her hands. Oh Chris…where are you? Are you with your mother…or in Brenda’s arms?
“Why does it matter?” Callie laughed bitterly. “If he is I drove him there.” It’s not like he ever told Callie that he loved her. But he had said that he felt something…something strong enough to pass the barrier of genders even though she was really a girl and he thought she was a man.
When the doorbell rang, Callie’s head up. Her eyes went wide, mouth forming a soft O. Who was it? Was it Chris? She shot up and took a step away from the couch. Had Chris finally come to talk to her? Callie’s steps hesitated. What if he came to break up with her for hitting Brenda?
“Don’t be silly,” Callie laughed at herself. It’s not like they’ve ever actually started going out. Walking towards the door, she started feeling dread. What if Brenda was with him? What if he was here to tell her that he’s getting married?
Callie paused in front of the door and stared at it. I don’t want that, she thought. I don’t want him to marry her. Not anyone…but me.
Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and grabbed the knob. “If it’s Chris and he’s by himself I’ll tell him the truth.” She decided. “About everything.” She may end up losing him any but it doesn’t matter anymore. It was time for him to know the truth.
Callie turned the knob and pulled the door open, a dramatic speech that involved groveling on her knees ready to burst out her mouth when she realized just who stood in front of her. “Gregory?”
“Callie.” Gregory, wearing a fancy black business suit and shiny shoes glowered down at her. “We need to talk.”
Callie stared up at him, tension seeping out her rigid shoulder. Hah! It wasn’t Chris. She had been all riled up for nothing. But why was Gregory here?
“Gregory.” Callie flashed him a smile. “What a surprise! What are you doing here?”
“Do you mind?” Greg brushed passed her and entered the apartment. “I’d rather not talk to you about family business right in front of your door.”
“Of course not.” Pushing back the disappointment that it hadn’t been Chris that had been ringing the doorbell, she closed the door. “Family business?”
“Your hair is shorter,” Greg commented as he faced her. He eyed her hair disapprovingly. “Sarah was right. You look like a boy.”
Good, Callie thought with relief, he doesn’t recognize me from the Fireman’s Ball. “Greg, did you come here to harass me about my hair?”
“You’ve lost some weight,” he continued on as if he hadn’t heard her. “You look…softer. You look good.” That observation actually surprised them both. Callie hadn’t expected him to say it and neither had he because he cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable.
For some odd reason Callie found herself blushing. Greg was as handsome as ever, even if he was as cold as ice. But he’s not Chris, her mind whispered longingly. No…not Chris.
“Greg…what are you doing here?”
“Right.” Greg cleared his throat again. “Sarah and your mother are worried about you.”
“Uh huh.” She didn’t believe that for a second and her voice let him know it.
Greg stiffened. “It’s the truth. Why have you been ignoring their calls?”
Callie shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”
“Messing around, I hear.”
It was Callie’s turn to stiffen. She glared sharply at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Sarah told me about the man you had in this apartment. Who was he?”
“That’s none of your business.” How dare Sarah spread rumors about her. About Chris! Knowing Sarah, her older sister probably said some lies that never happened.
“A young girl like yourself shouldn’t have a man in her apartment, Callie.”
The disapproving note in his voice made her blush but she didn’t cower like she would have done before. Now that she had finally grown a backbone, she openly glared at her ex. “I’m not a girl, Greg. I’m a woman and if I want to entertain men in my apartment well…that’s my business, not yours.”
Greg studied the girl…no, the woman before him. Over the months Callie had certainly changed. Gone was the long blonde hair replaced with a short auburn one, giving her a pixie-like look. She had lost a lot a weight. The tasteless, baggy gray sweatshirt and pants she wore didn’t show a lot of improvements in her fashion sense but still…Callie was…different.
She’s grown some confidence, Greg decided. And he hadn’t lied before. Though her haircut was boyish…she looked good. Soft. Womanly. Even in those baggy clothes.
“Now that you’re done questioning my virtue,” Callie opened the door. “I’d like for you to leave.”
Greg opened his mouth to say he wasn’t going anywhere but he paused, looking over her shoulder. He closed his mouth firmly and glared.
“What are you glaring at?” Callie frowned and looked back. She froze. “C-Chris!”
OH SHIT!
Callie groaned. Great. Fantastic. She never wanted these two to meet but look what happens. Chris’s timing stunk. That or the fates were against her.
Chris stood behind her, still wearing the exact same suit he had worn last night. He looked downright exhausted, as if he’s been awake all night but he straightened at the sight of Gregory. “Am I interrupting something?”
“No!” Callie said quickly. “Um…Greg was about to leave. Right Greg?” She shot him a look, one that she hoped he’d listen to and leave but of course he didn’t.
“Who are you?” Greg asked without preamble. Callie moaned.
“Chris,” Chris told the other man. “And you are…?”
“Greg!” Callie said, “My….um….Sarah’s fiancé.”
“Sarah?” Chris looked thoughtfully before his eyes widened with realization. “Oh! Sarah! That girl who dumped-“
“That wedding invitation on me,” Callie jumped in, completely cutting him off. “Yup, that’s Sarah. Greg was here to probably remind me about the wedding. Nice right? But now he’s going.”
Leave, Callie wanted to scream. Go Greg! Go! This was not how she wanted to tell Chris the truth. This wasn’t how she wanted him to find out about her lies.
“So you’re the man Sarah told me about,” Greg said, eyeing Chris. “Who are you to Callie?”
“Callie?” Chris’s brows furrowed with confusion. “Who’s that?”
Damn it! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
“Greg, I think you better leave.” Callie went around him and desperately began to push his back. “I promise I’ll call Sarah later. Just go.”
Greg frowned, brushing pass Chris as Callie pushed him outside. “Cal-“
“Talk to you later!” Callie grabbed Chris and tugged him inside her apartment. “Congrats by the way!” She slammed the door close and locked it for good measure.
“What the hell was that about?” Chris lifted a brow when she faced him.
“Um…it’s not important.”
“Looked important to me.”
“Well it wasn’t!” Callie snapped.
Chris fell silent and Callie found herself flushing. Even to her ears she sounded rude and defensive. “Chris…sorry.”
“No,” he said,
sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. He gave her a tiny smile. “It’s none of my business. My bad.”
Callie’s heart tightened at the sight of him. She was jumpy and nervous just seconds ago because of Greg but now that the other man was gone, Chris’s presence filled her senses. Just looking at his handsome face gave her butterflies.
“You look tired.” She hesitated before stepping closer. “Is your mom…?”
“She’s fine. For now.”
“Chris.” Callie fell silent. ‘I’m sorry’ just didn’t seem enough to cut it. How she wished that she could heal Mrs. Walker but even with all the money she inherited…money won’t be enough. But she can help get Mrs. Walker the best doctors with it. It’s the least she could do.
“Look, Cal,” Chris began, “about last night.” He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. Abel told me what happened.”
“Oh.” He’s not here to tell me that he’s marrying Brenda. Callie wanted to jump for joy. “It’s okay. I probably shouldn’t have it her.”
“No, you probably shouldn’t have.” He sent her a disapproving look. “You’re a guy. You could have really done some damage.”
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for, Callie told herself. This is the perfect time to tell him the truth. The perfect-
All thoughts flew out her head when Chris suddenly grabbed her and his lips covered hers. Caught off guard, she froze for a few seconds before softening and leaning into him…into the kiss.
The feel of his mouth devouring hers had her heart drumming like crazy against her ears and had her body on fire. When he broke the kiss they were both breathing heavily. Chris kissed her forehead and grinned at her.
“Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you. You look adorable.”
“I do?” She squeaked, cheeks flushed red. “But I’m just wearing my regular clothes. Nothing special.”
“You’re special,” he said and his words melted her heart.
Oh Chris…he was making it harder for her to tell him the truth.
“And I’m not marrying Brenda.” Chris continued. “She’s not the one that I…I love.”
Oh lord. “Chris-“
“No.” He shook his head. “Let me finish, Cal. I…I love you.” Chris laughed, blue eyes twinkling. “I love you! Damn, feels good saying it out loud.” It was like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulder.
Chris looked down at Cal with a wide grin. He expected to find Cal smiling back at him, what he didn’t expect was for those lovely brown to fill with tears and for Cal to burst into heart-wrenching sobs.
“Cal?” He panicked. “Buddy, what’s wrong?”
Callie shook her head and stepped away from him. She couldn’t even speak, that’s how disgusted she was of herself. Chris was just too good for her.
“Cal?” Chris said her name with concern. “What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy? I told you the truth. I love you.”
Callie’s sobs turned more tortured. She was practically choking on her tears. Good. Maybe she can die. She’d deserve it. For lying to Chris. For earning his love with lies upon lies. She didn’t deserve this beautiful man’s love. No matter how much she craved it…she wasn’t good enough for him.
“I love you,” Chris repeated, thinking the reason why Cal was crying was because he didn’t believe him. “I do! I never loved anyone like this in my life.”
“N-no,” Cal begged, “no.”
Chris frowned. “No?”
Cal sobbed. “Please, Chris…I….you…you can’t love me. It’s not right. Oh god.”
“Is this because you’re insecure?” Chris asked. “Because it doesn’t matter to me that you’re a guy. I can live with that. Or if it’s about your weight…I don’t care about that either. As long as you're healthy, I don’t care what you look like. You’re perfect.”
“Stop!” Callie held up a hand, tears madly streaming down her face. “Chris, please stop! D-don’t s-say anymore. D-don’t!” Feeling weak, she bent down on her knees and covered her face. The face of a liar.
“I love you.” Chris knelt down before her and took her hands into his. “Nothing will change that.”
Callie looked up at him. “Not when you find out.”
“Find out what?” Chris smoothed her hair away from her face. “Stop crying. I don’t like to see you cry.”
Callie brushed his hands away. “When I tell you the truth, you won’t like seeing my face at all.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry.”
“Cal,” Chris’s eyes narrowed. “What the hell is wrong with you? What happened?”
Tell him, she told herself. Tell him!
“Chris…I’m not who-what you think I am.”
Chris’s forehead furrowed with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
This is it. Callie stared into his beautiful blue eyes. This is where I lose him. I know it. She reached both hands up and caressed his cheeks, memorizing the feel of his skin against her fingertips because after this…she probably will never be able to touch him again.
“I love you,” she told him. “I love you so so much. So much that it hurts.”
Chris placed his hands on hers. “I feel the same way.”
Fresh tears rolled from her lashes and down her cheeks. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that. But…but I don’t deserve it.”
“Cal…buddy, you’re confusing me and frankly it’s starting to scare me.” What the hell was bothering Cal?
Callie leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. She was sure that it would be their last.
“Cal?”
Callie stood up and slowly backed away. Chris still knelt on the floor, staring up at her with confusion. “What’s going on?”
Callie hugged herself. “I have to tell you something.”
Chris stood. “What?”
“Chris…I’ve been misleading you.”
“About what?”
“About everything.”
Chris laughed. “Okay, Cal, can you be any more vague?”
“Chris, I’m not…I’m not a guy.”
Chris frowned. “What?”
“I said,” she took a deep breath. “I’m not a man.”
“Okay.” Chris laughed nervously. “So what are you? A Transvestite?” Chris laughed again at his own joke but when he didn’t see Cal laughing with him, he stopped. “You are?”
“No!” Callie shook her head. “No.”
“Okay,” Chris said slowly. “Then what is this about?”
“Chris, I’m a girl.”
He blinked. “A what?”
“A girl.” Callie tried to smile but failed. “Tada. S-surprise!”
Chris stared at her and her heart felt like it was being stabbed by a needle.
“I’m a girl,” she said softly. “Always have been.”
Chris continued to silently stare at her.
“It hadn’t been my intention to mislead you for so long but…but I…I just couldn’t tell you the truth because I was so afraid. I’m still afraid but I knew that I had to tell you. I couldn’t keep lying to you.”
Chris didn’t say a word. He couldn’t. He felt dead inside.
“C-Chris? Say something. Please.” Callie wanted to throw herself at his feet and beg for forgiveness. He was looking at her…but she had a feeling that he couldn’t see her. Not anymore.
“You’re not joking,” he finally said through the silence. His voice sounded empty, devoid of any emotion.
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not.”
He took his eyes off her and instead stared at the ground. “That day I mistook you for a man…”
“I was going to tell you the mistake but one thing lead to another…” Callie shrugged helplessly. “It was stupid.” I was stupid. “I just wanted to be by your side so desperately. Desperate enough to keep pretending to be a guy. I never thought…I never thought that a guy like
you can actually love me. Chris, I’m so sorry. So so so sorry.”
“Abel knew, didn’t he?” Chris looked up at her. “He knew.”
“Yes.”
“You both were probably laughing behind my back.”
“No! Never!” Callie’s eyes went wide. “We never did that. We never would.” She walked up to him and tried to place her hand on his arm but he stepped away from her touch. That stung. Callie stared up at him and she could sense it.
She lost him.
“Chris?” He looked so calm that it scared her. Her eyes searched his face, trying to catch any hint of emotion but there was nothing. Not even anger. “Chris?”
He turned away from her and started for the door. “Chris! Wait!” She grabbed his hand. “Chris!” Callie’s voice turned pleading.
When he turned to look at her, what she saw made her breath catch. And it broke her heart. Chris stared down at her, his own eyes filled with unshed tears. She released him and covered her sobs with her hands.
“I want to hate you right now,” he said hoarsely. “God I want to…but you know what? I still love you and that’s fucked up. I can’t even make myself hate you. I love you too much but who are you? I don’t even know, do I?”
Chris searched her face. “I fell for a lie.”
When he turned and walked out her life she didn’t stop him. She couldn’t. Callie knew that she had to let him go but it hurt all the same.
And what hurt more was knowing the fact that she had hurt him. Hurt him so badly.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered through her sobs, staring at the door Chris had left open after his departure. “I’m sorry.”
Chapter Eighteen
"Christopher, where's Cal?"
Chris stiffened at his mother's softly spoken question but didn't turn around to answer. Jaw clenched, he continued to empty the water from the small plastic cup into the dark blue vase filled with wildflowers; his mother's favorites.
"Chris?"
"I don't know, Mom," he finally said and added with dark irritation: "I'm not his keeper."
He heard his mother sigh wistfully. "I haven't seen him in ages. I miss seeing him. He's such a wonderful...boy."
Boy my ass, Chris thought darkly.
Big Fat Liar 3 (Big Fat Liar #3) Page 4