by JoAnn Ross
How had the tables turned so devastating^? Caine wondered dizzily. Just moments ago, he'd been the one in absolute control. He'd been the one creating havoc with Nora's stunned senses.
But now, with just the delicate glide of her hands, the feel of her mouth against his skin, the scrape of her teeth against the aching flesh at the inside of his thigh/ she was driving him beyond reason. Her daring touch was like a flame; his flesh burned with it.
Overcome with a heady feminine power, Nora laughed and trailed her tongue wetly down his chest. The throaty sound tolled in his head as his body throbbed. Frustration warred with passion. Caine wanted her to stop; he wanted her never to stop.
He ached to take her now, quickly, before she succeeded in making him mad, but his power was gone. Somehow, when he wasn't looking, Nora had stolen it; it had flowed from him into her and for the first time in his life, Caine was experiencing true helplessness.
Moaning her name between short ragged breaths, he reached for her, but his touch was vague, almost dreamlike.
"Not yet," she whispered silkily.
He knew what she was going to do; every atom in his body was poised for that incredible moment when she would take his swollen sex into her soft wet mouth.
As if determined to torment him as he had tormented her, Nora drew the moment out. Her tongue slid hotly along his length, making him groan as he thrust his lean hips off the mattress in a mute plea for fulfillment.
But still she made him wait. When her tongue encircled the plum-hued tip, Caine thought he was going to explode.
"No more." Need made his tone raw.
He grabbed hold of Nora's shoulders, turned her onto her back and levered himself over her. His eyes locked with hers. A promise, felt by both, sizzled between them.
He gripped her hips to pull her close, but Nora was already rising to meet him, to draw him in.
Caine slid into her, steel into silk. His hands linked with hers. Their fingers tightened.
Outside the window the white moon rose higher. And so did they.
"That," Caine said when he could talk again, "was definitely worth waiting for."
"Mmm." Nora's head was on his chest; she pressed a kiss against his cooling flesh.
She was basking in a warm and satisfied glow and would have been more than happy to spend the rest of her days just lying in Caine's arms.
Even as common sense told her that that would be a remarkably impractical way to spend her life, the romantic side of her that this man had always been able to tap could think of nothing that would bring more pleasure. Caine ran a lazy finger down her spine. "Have I mentioned that you're still the most incredibly beautiful woman I've ever known?"
"Flatterer." His touch created a new flare of arousal that was as sharp as it was sweet.
"It's true." Smiling, he wound a thick strand of her hair around his hand. "And even now, after all we've shared, I still want you more than I've ever wanted any other woman."
"I want you, too," she admitted with a soft sigh.
He glanced down at her. "You don't sound very happy about that."
"It's just that nothing has changed." She was trembling. Caine felt an ominous feeling of foreboding and ignored it.
"Everything's changed." After brushing a kiss against the top of her head, he untangled himself from their embrace, left the bed and found his jeans.
"I have something for you."
"You've already given me so much," Nora protested, thinking of the generous check, not to mention all the work he'd been doing to establish her dream clinic. She sat up against the pillows.
"That was business. This is strictly personal."
Nora froze when he handed her the familiar blue sapphire set in antique gold filigree. "It's Maggie's engagement ring."
"Got it on the first try. She wanted you to have it." "Me?"
Nora stared down at the ring, remembering that Devlin had bought his bride-to-be a sapphire, rather than a more traditional diamond, because it was the color of the sky she loved so well.
She ran her finger over the intricate gold weave. "You'd think Devlin would want to keep it." "He and Maggie decided that it didn't make any sense to have it stashed away in some forgotten drawer."
"But-"
"They figured, and I agreed, that you might like it. And since we didn't exactly have a traditional wedding the first time around, I never got you a proper engagement ring."
"The first time?"
The mattress sighed as Caine sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. "You know how I feel, Nora. I love you. And, unless every instinct I've got has gone on the blink, you love me, too."
She couldn't lie any longer. Not to herself. Not to Caine. "I do."
"So the next logical thing to do is to get married."
"Caine-"
"In fact, the cabin's all ready for you to move in. I shoveled out the trash, washed the windows, changed the sheets and dusted. Even beneath the couch." He was more than a little pleased with himself about that. "And the refrigerator's filled with those healthy green vegetables you like."
"I'm sorry. But I can't marry you, Caine."
"Can't? Or won't?" Nora thought she detected a note of vulnerability in his tired tone.
"You have to understand."
"That's what I'm trying to do." Although Caine's voice remained calm, his eyes were not. "But you have to remember that I'm just a dumb jock. So perhaps you'd better try speaking slowly. And stick to words with no more than two syllables."
Caine's passion had always simmered just below the surface. Such intensity had always been exciting to Nora.
At this moment, she was discovering that it could also be frightening.
Her nerves in a tangle, she pulled the rumpled sheet up to cover her breasts. "What we shared was wonderful, Caine. It always was. But it's not enough."
How could such an intelligent woman not see that after such intense lovemaking, she belonged to him? The same way he belonged to her.
"It's not enough because you won't let it be," he argued. "We both finally came home tonight, Nora. Where we belong. I want to spend all the rest of my nights with you, for fifty—hell, if we're lucky—even sixty or seventy-five years.
"I want to go to sleep every night with my arms wrapped around you and I want to wake up every morning knowing that you're beside me. I want to grow old with you, Nora."
Dear Lord, that's what she wanted, too. But there was something else. Something die knew he was leaving out.
"What about children?"
Don't let me mess this up, he begged whatever unforeseen fates had taken control of their lives.
Caine took a deep breath and chose his words very carefully.
"I know you've always considered me selfish. And perhaps I am. Because since coming back to Tribulation, I've discovered I want it all, sweetheart.
"I want to marry you and live in a house with a white picket fence. I want a stupid, friendly mutt who'll track mud in on the freshly washed floors, steal the steaks off the backyard barbecue and dig up the tulip bulbs every spring.
"And yes, I want children."
This was probably one of the longest speeches he'd ever made in his life. Reminding himself that it was also the most important, Caine took a deep breath.
"The best thing we ever did, in spite of ourselves, was create Dylan," he said, his voice gruff with emotion. "I love you, Nora. I want to have a family with you. Kids, Mom, Pop, a dog, the works."
Nora went ice-cold. Hands, feet, heart. "And where is this dream house going to be located? Detroit? And for how long?"
He flinched, knowing she had a point. There had been a time when he'd been so caught up in chasing his own dream, he would have thought nothing of dragging his family across the country, from town to town, wherever there was a baseball stadium.
"I didn't realize that the word had already gotten out."
"What word?"
"That I'd been offered the coaching job in Detroit."
&
nbsp; "Oh." Amazingly, she hadn't known. Maggie's death had definitely put a crimp in Tribulation's rapid-fire gossip line. "Congratulations."
Caine shrugged. "I turned it down."
It was one more surprise in a night of surprises. "Why?"
Caine stared down at her in disbelief. Hadn't she been listening to a single word he'd said? "So I could stay in Tribulation. With you."
"I can't let you turn down an opportunity to stay in baseball for me."
"I'm not turning it down entirely because of you, Nora. I'd already decided to take over Maggie's charter business. It was what Gram wanted and the more I thought about it, the more I found myself liking the idea."
The decision had proven surprisingly easy. In the beginning, before Maggie's death, he'd suspected that the odds of Nora being willing to leave Tribulation and follow him to Detroit were slim to none. But, dammit, he'd told himself over and over again, he wasn't asking her to give up medicine; she could practice in Detroit. Perhaps, he'd considered, if he couched things carefully, he could make her understand that baseball had always been, aside from her and Dylan, the most important thing in his life.
But by the time he'd finished polishing the cabin windows he'd realized that he didn't really want to return to living out of a suitcase, never having any sense of belonging.
What he wanted was for him and Nora to sink their own family roots into the forest soil of a town that had been home to so many generations of Andersons and OTiallorans.
"So you're staying?" She'd be seeing him almost every day. On the street, in the market, perhaps even here at the clinic. The idea was as terrifying as it was wonderful.
"For good."
"Well... if it's what you really want to do..."
"It is." Sighing, he linked their fingers together and brought them to his lips. "I told you, downstairs, that I was going to leave before I stooped to begging, but dammit, if that's what it takes—"
"No." She pressed the fingers of her free hand against his mouth, silencing him. "There's nothing you can say that'll change my mind, Caine."
"Nothing? Are you sure about that?"
"Positive."
Instead of moving away, as she had expected him to, Caine drew her close. He pressed his lips against her temple. "You're far too passionate a woman to give up what we have together." He kissed her eyelids. Her cheek. Her chin.
"You said I could always make you fly," he murmured, his lips gently brushing against her mouth. "But I only ever felt that way with you. Let's fly together, Nora. You and me. Forever."
His words and his kisses caused a renewed flare of warmth. Against all common sense, Nora tilted her head back, giving his mouth access to her throat.
A soft silvery mist was fogging her senses, her body began to yearn. "I want to," she told him in a shuddering whisper.
"I know." His mouth skimmed down her throat, along her collarbone. Caine tugged the sheet free. "So why not marry me?"
When his tongue stroked wetly along the aching slope of her breasts, Nora realized that she was teetering once again on the very edge of seduction.
"Because," she managed, "you want a family."
Caine was already imagining her hot and hungry beneath him. He was already remembering the soft litde sounds she made when he made her rise, the look of astonished pleasure in her eyes when he took her over the edge. But Nora's unexpected words sliced through his erotic fantasy like a sharp knife.
"Are you telling me that you don't?" That idea had never occurred to him.
"No." Her skin, which had been warm and prettily flushed from their lovemaking, had turned as cold as ice and as pale as sleet. "I don't."
Moisture pooled in her distressed brown eyes.
Comprehension, when it dawned, was staggering.
"It's because of Dylan, isn't it?" A single tear escaped; Caine reached out and brushed it away. "Nora, sweetheart, what happened to Dylan was an accident. It could never happen again."
Didn't he think she knew that? She was an intelligent woman. She had a wall downstairs covered with degrees to prove it. But that didn't expunge the absolute fear she felt whenever she thought about having another baby.
Loving a child was the greatest treasure any woman could ever know. And the greatest peril. And although she'd never considered herself a coward, Nora didn't think she had the strength to ever face such risk again.
"I don't want to talk about Dylan." Her hands pushed ineffectually at his chest.
Caine tightened his hold. "Dammit, Nora. I can understand what you're feeling. I can understand why you're afraid. But although life doesn't come with guarantees, I love you and you love me and that should be enough to get us through any storms that might come along."
"I can't handle it, Caine," Nora insisted, her voice rising unnaturally high. "Losing Dylan almost destroyed me. I won't risk that pain again. Not even for you."
"Not even for us?"
"No." The tears were flowing freely now. Nora dashed at them with the backs of her hands. "Not even for us."
"All right."
Caine dropped his hands to his sides although he wanted to go on holding her. Nearly as quickly as he'd dispensed with them in the first place, he located his scattered clothes and dressed while Nora watched silently, not trusting his sudden acquiescence.
"I'm going to leave now," he said, after he'd finished buttoning his shirt. "But there's something you need to know."
"What now?"
"Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean losing them."
He bent down, captured her chin in his fingers and held her wary gaze to his. "This time, I'm not going to get in my car and drive away, just because things have gotten a little rough."
A little rough? Her heart was lying in tatters all over the floor and he was calling things a little rough?
"I love you, Nora Anderson OTialloran," he said, feeling an ache deep inside when his words and his use of her married name made her flinch. "Fully, totally, irrevocably. With every fiber of my being.
"And being an admittedly greedy man, I intend to spend the rest of my life making love with you here in this bed, or in front of a roaring fire, or even in the lake behind my cabin."
"We'd drown," Nora couldn't resist saying.
He smiled at that and she knew she was in major trouble when the sight warmed her to the core. "Not if we're careful." He ran his finger down the slope of her nose. "How long can you hold your breath?"
Before she could respond, he gave her a quick, hard kiss. "What do you think about an August wedding? The weather should be warm and sunny and your grandmother' s flowers will be in full bloom, so we can hold the ceremony in her garden."
He was doing it again—refusing to listen to a word she said. Nora welcomed the burst of irritation; it overrode her pain.
"Caine, we're not going to get married."
"Wanna bet? Or are you afraid to put your money where that luscious mouth of yours is?"
She'd never been able to resist that challenge in his eyes. "All right, dammit. Fifty dollars."
"That's chicken feed. Five hundred says you'll be Mrs. Nora O'Halloran before the summer's over."
It was more than she could safely risk. But frustration at the way some things never changed made Nora rash. "You re on."
"Terrific." He brushed a hand down her hair and followed the com-silk strands around her jaw. "Remind me to remind you of this conversation on our fiftieth anniversary. When we're sitting on the porch in our rocking chairs, holding hands and watching our grandchildren splashing around in the lake behind the cabin."
"For the last time—"
He bent his head and touched his mouth to hers. "See you around, sweetheart," he said when the brief, possessive kiss ended. "Call me when you've changed your mind."
And then, to her astonishment, he was gone.
Nora sat there in the middle of the rumpled sheets still redolent of their lovemaking, and listened to Caine take the stairs two at a time.
Downstair
s, the grandfather clock struck the hour with a flurry of Westminster chimes. She heard the front door open, then close. And then there was only silence.
Dark, lonely silence.
13
Auhough Caine spoke with Nora on the phone almost daily, filling her in on the progress of the trauma center, he managed, with herculean effort, to keep his promise to stay away for four long and lonely weeks.
Despite the fact that the charter business was booming, he made time to talk public-relations firms in New York, Washington, D.C., and Seattle into donating their services. In addition, he'd convinced the governor to agree to declare the first week in September Children's Safety Week.
And if that wasn't enough to make his ex-wife sit up and take notice, an Academy Award-winning movie director Caine had once met at a New York premier was traveling around the country, filming a documentary about children in the emergency room. The Dylan Anderson O'Halloran Memorial Foundation was only paying the director's expenses; when contacted by Caine, the woman had agreed to donate her time and equipment.
Although Nora knew it took more than PR and governmental declarations and films to build a hospital, all the proclamations and public relations had already brought in a stunning amount of money.
As she watched Caine's unflagging devotion to this cause, which was so important not only to her, personally, but to all the children of the state, Nora was forced to admit how badly she'd misjudged him.
And with that realization came a long hard look at her own life. It wasn't that she'd purposely shied away from marriage since her divorce. In the beginning, work had required all her energy. Then, once she'd begun to date, she'd quickly discovered that although men might not be imbued with a woman's biological clock, they all definitely seemed to possess a strong sense of dynasty.
After Dylan's death, Nora had vowed never to give birth to another child. The risk was too great, the pain of loss too overwhelming. Whenever the man she was dating realized that she had no intention of bearing his child, he would drift on in quest of some woman who would, leaving Nora alone. Again.