A Fistful of Love: A Domestic Violence Anthology

by Thomas, Dominique

“Darren, is this true? Have you lost your mind, my daughter? Are you drunk?”

  He stood there giving us a blank stare, his still had his pants down, and his manhood pointing in our direction, like a compass.

  My mother grab me tighter bringing my body close to her. I almost felt like she wanted me to be inside her, that’s how close she held on to me. Without saying another word, my mother turned us around, and we walked upstairs. When we got to the top of the step, she let me go, but held my hand tight. She led me into the bathroom. She shut the door behind me, turning the shower on and testing the water. She faced me, helping me take my clothes off.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry this happen to you. I’m your mother. I’m always supposed to protect you. I know I’m not the best mother and I’m sorry. I know your father is rolling around in his grave right now at my actions and what just took place.” Before she could finish speaking I stopped her.

  “Ma, it isn’t your fault. Let’s not make a big deal out of this. I don’t want you blaming yourself. I don’t get how he knew the back door was broke.” I said rambling. “Let’s just drop it. Please leave him alone.” I spoke with a soft trembling voice and teary eyes.

  “I’m not sure how he knew, but I will get down to the bottom of this. Do you want me to call the cops? They will need to do a rape kit, like on that Law and Order.” As she spoke my face was planted in between both of my mother’s hands.

  I shook my head no, and turned my back to her, getting in the shower. A few seconds later I heard the door close, letting me know she left out of the bathroom. Just to make sure I pulled the curtains back a little to check. I leaned on the shower wall, sliding down to the tub. I bent my knees into my chest. Stuffing my face in between my legs, I began to cry my hurt and pain away.

  I cried so long my eyes started burning. I reach for the soap on the side of the bath tub. I scrubbed my skin until my body turn red and burned. I wish the water could wash away the event that had just taken place. Instead I was left feeling contaminated.

  “What did I do that would make him want to do this to me?” I asked myself this question over and over.

  I stayed in the shower until the water became ice-cold, and my body could no longer take it. Slowing standing up, I became light headed from crying so much. I turned the water off, got out of the shower, and covered my sore, naked body with a freshly wash towel. The smell of Downey fabric softer made me feel a little relax and tired. I turn the bathroom light off and headed out. I noticed that the hallway light was on. I quietly opened the door tip-toeing to the top of the stairs.

  I almost broke my neck trying to see if my mother was in her room, to my surprise, she wasn’t. I gave all my attention to the whispering sound I heard coming from downstairs. I could hear giggling from two people. I took a couple of steps down the stairs, so that I could hear better.

  “I told you only to come if I wasn’t home, but since you got what you wanted…” she tried to finish speaking in a seductive voice, but then she started to moan.

  My heart jump out of my body, and felt like a stampede stomped all over it. The words I heard confused me, I couldn’t believe it. Did my mother set me up? From what I’m heard, she told him when would be a good time for him to come here. My mind raced as I listened to the moaning that was taking place.

  I thought about moving closer, but I remembered this is an old house, and the wooden steps always cracked. After a few seconds of debating, I was unable to handle the things my ears were hearing. I decided to move closer anyway. If they hear me fuck it. I need to know what the fuck is going on. I moved down a couple more steps, so that I could see what was going on.

  “I just couldn’t help it. Her sexy, innocent ass turned me on from the door. Man, does she feel a lot better than you do. If only I could have had her tight, warm lips around my dick. But no, you had to fake wake up and come to her rescue.” He said with so much aggression in his voice.

  He turned my mother around on her knees, wrapped her hair around his fingers, and whispered into her ear.

  He stuck his tongue in her ear, pulled his pants and briefs down. I’ve seen Darren around with my mom, but never understood why she deals with him. He has a sneaky, grimy presence about him. He has a brown-skin complexion, a strong masculine face, and tattoos that cover his body, and one on the side of his neck. I couldn’t make out what it says. Darren has to be around my age, maybe in his early 20’s. The streets are written all over him. I watched as they had rough sex.

  “Diamond, you like this dick?” He panted, smacking my mother’s ass. She nodded her head yes.

  In that very moment my feelings got the best me. I started crying out loud. I placed my hands over my mouth, not wanting them to hear me. But that didn’t work. My mother and Darren stopped being in their zone, and made their way towards me. My heart began to race. I jumped up and raced into my bedroom. I shut the door behind me, and leaned against it.

  What am I going to do? It’s already 1:15 in the morning. If I go to a family member’s house this thing will get extremely big, I thought to myself.

  I panicked when I heard two sets of footsteps coming upstairs. I grab my Victoria’s Secret gym bag, Tranquel brought me a few months back. I tried to fit damn near everything I own in the gym bag.

  “I’ll have to buy my hygiene products from the store. I know once I open this door, it’s going to be a war zone. No time to stop in the bathroom.” I said, preparing myself for what was about to go down.

  I slipped on some sweats and a white t-shirt. Picking up my overly stuff bag, I swung it onto my shoulder. I reached for my bedroom door knob, but it was too late. Someone on the other side proceeded to open my door. I moved to the side, letting my door swing open.

  “Where the fuck do you think you’re going at this time of night? Unpack that bag and go finish your clothes.” My mother told me. “Sometimes you have to do stuff to keep this family together. I don’t see you bringing a dime in here, Diamond.” Her words should have been a knife. With each word the knife went deeper into my heart.

  She stood in my doorway with her arms folded, waiting for my response. If I was a chick on the streets, her position and facial expression clearly showed she wants sauce. No matter what I won’t put my hands on my mother. I might just toss her skinny ass to the side or something. I took in a deep breath.

  “Look, you had one of your niggas come here to rape me. From what you’re saying it was to take care of the family. Can you hear what I’m saying to you? Is it registering? Let’s not mention you gave a sob story to me in bathroom. I go downstairs and y’all are not only talking about it, but y’all start having sex. To top this whole thing off you allow him to call you my name. So did I mess up your little plan MOTHER?” I screamed unable to contain my anger.

  The last thing I said ended with me tasting blood. My so called mother punched the shit out of me. She grabbed me by my hair. Forcing me to drop my bag on the floor.

  “You listen here, little bitch. You will do as I say even if that means, me having a line of niggas waiting to fuck you. You’re what they want.”

  She done fuck up. Clearly she isn’t my mother. And I’m going to have to put her in her place.

  She stood in front of me, clutching my hair causing my head to be down. I was almost bent all the over. I didn’t care if all of my hair came out from her grip. I just knew, I needed to get out of her hold. Being in front of her pussy smelled like a garbage truck driving by. That might be the reason why these niggas don’t want to fuck her. She turned around to see if Darren was watching the whole thing.

  I cocked my foot back as far as it could go, and with everything in me, I kicked her in the knee. She fell on the rug. That didn’t stop her, it just slowed her down. She didn’t let go of the tight grip on my hair. I locked her body in between my legs, kicking her repeatedly. In her ribs, stomach and her arm. I was trying to get her off my hair. After a couple of kicks the grip she has on my hair, loosen up and I pulled away. Looking her dead in her face, I
punched her a couple of times in her mouth. Each time I made sure I pulled back further and hit harder.

  “YOU NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR KIDS!!!” I yelled out at her as Darren attempted to guide me out of my room.

  “I was already leaving.” I said and spit at him. I picked up my bag from the floor and ran out of the door.

  CHAPTER TWO

  New beginnings, equals new ways.

  It’s been two weeks of staying in Tranquel’s parent’s guest room. That night after leaving my mom’s place, I debated on telling Tranquel and his parents about what happen. But as soon as Tranquel’s mom opened the door, I burst out into tears. I couldn’t hold the pain in.

  A mother is supposed to protect her child, not cause or put her child in harm’s way. Instantly everyone welcomed me with open arms. At first they wanted to call the police, but I begged them not to. All I could think about is my younger siblings, and although my mother treats me like shit, she actually treats them like a mother should. With love, care, and respect.

  The only way they would drop it was if I stayed in their guest room. I decided to do that until I have enough saving to get a studio apartment, after I turned 18. His father didn’t even want me to go back home to get the rest of my belongings. He sat his American Express card on the coffee table next to Tranquel’s mom and told her to take me shopping.

  I don’t know any parent who would welcome a female in their home who is dealing with their child at that.

  Things with Tranquel and I became really close. Everyone at school knew I had been staying with his family temporarily, even my teachers. All of our friends would post pictures of us with the caption, “Relationship Goals.”

  Don’t get me wrong I loved every bit of it. As usual Tranquel waited for me after school by his car.

  “Hey, baby, how was your day?” He ask me, leaning in to give me a kiss on the lips.

  “For the most part, it was okay. You just made it better, though.” I flirted.

  “I have a surprise for you.” He said after we climbed in the car. “Put your seat belt on.” I did as he said, and he pulled off with on hand on the steering wheel. His other hand was on my thigh.

  I dozed off. When I woke up he was pulling into Benihana restaurant. The other night the commercial came on TV. I told him I had never been, and how I would love to go. Excitement was written all over my face. We entered the restaurant and the smell of the Teppanyaki foods filled my nose. I wished I could just eat the air. The Chinese decorations gave the place an oriental look. Green, long-stem trees were everywhere. A huge waterfall sat in the middle of the restaurant, the sound of the water sliding down and hitting the rock made my body feel relaxed.

  “Two for Reaves,” Tranquel told the hostess. We follow behind her, she sat us in at a table with a grill attached to it..

  “While we are together, I always want to surprise you.” Tranquel told me. I swear I just wanted someone to pinch me to reassure me this wasn’t a dream. I grabbed ahold of his hand and smiled up at him.

  Dinner went well. The chef cooked right in front of us. I was able to tell him exactly how I wanted my food. As he prepared the rice he formed it into a heart shape, and lit the middle on fire. It looked so pretty, I didn’t want him to distribute any of it. After an hour of laughter and conversation, we were ready to head out of the door. As we approached the car a waiter chased us down with a bag.

  “Here, for your mother.” She said handing the bag of food to Tranquel.

  Pulling off, it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make a comment.

  “Y’all must go there very often.” I laughed raising my eye brow. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make a comment..

  “Yeah, moms loves the lunch special.” He stated, turning up the music.

  When we entered his house, I slide my moccasin shoes off, and Tranquel placed his sneakers on his sneaker rack. It’s where the rest of his collectable sneakers were. I was so full I could have crashed on this soft plush carpet. Tranquel reach for my hand, I looked up and my mouth dropped. A trail of red and white rose petals led us upstairs into his bedroom. Candles filled the room, giving it a dim look. How the hell did he pull this off? Who did all of this for him. My mind raced with so many questions, I didn’t even realize he began to strip me of my clothes.

  “Tranquel, I’m not ready for this.” I said panicking. I’m not like everyone my age. I have never had sex, other than when I was raped a couple of weeks ago. That’s not to say I didn’t want to, I was just nervous. I didn’t want to start acting like some of my peers who are crazy over dick.

  “I’m not trying to do anything. I just want to wash you up.” he pointed in the direction of his bathroom. There were more candles and the bath tub is filled with water.

  I allowed him to remove my clothes, I stood in front of him naked. I wrapped my arm across my titties trying to hide my hard nipples, and my left hand covered my shaved vagina. My coach told us it’s good to shave all of our private area so we would sweat less. One day while my mother was at work, I googled video’s on how to shave my little lady the proper way.

  I stood in front of Tranquel naked and embarrassed. He told me to walk into the bathroom. I pushed the door all the way open, there have to be at least 30 ‘I love you’ balloons with red strings. The bathroom smelled like Love Spell by Victoria’s Secret. He walked behind me, moving me closer to the tub. Someone had to have just filled the tub with water and bubble bath. I could see steam from the water dance in the air.

  Tranquel grabbed my hand and helped me get into the tub. I placed my toes in the water to test it. The warm water sent chills up my spine, I got in. I slowly sat down, allowing the comfy mat to caress my ass. Tranquel placed both his hands on my shoulders. I leaned back and he began to rub my shoulders. Lawd this is the life. I wouldn’t trade him in for the world.

  “Babe, what are the balloons for, though?” I asked. It’s clear that’s he loves me. I mean, the balloons tell me that much. But why me? At times I ask myself, what does he want from me? He’s going to college in a couple of months. I can’t top half of these females that throw themselves at him.

  “The balloons are just to add to my scene.” He laughed as I splash a sprinkle of water on him.

  “It’s sad you have to ask me this. Today makes two years since I fell in love with you. Two years since you stole my heart. Although we just recently made it official. What’s left unsaid is understood, and everyone knows you’re mine. I love you, girl.” He lathered up a sponge that sat on the rim of the tub.

  He washed my body from head to toe. Shit, I think he did a better job than me. I wasn’t even shy with him washing my private areas. We talked some more. That’s one thing I love about our relationship. Our communications skills are on point. Not only are we in a relationship, he’s the only friend I have.

  My body began to wrinkle and the water was no longer warm. I got up, and Tranquel ran into his room bringing back a robe. I laughed as I slid my arms in. He lifted my thick ass up and laid me on his king-sized bed. Yeah, I can tell he’s the only child. My room is the size of his bed. He reached for a bottle of lotion and asked me if it was okay to put it on me. I shook my head yes, removing the robe.

  A couple of rubs and I felt moisture between my legs. My nipples were rock hard. The gentleness that he used to wash me was the same gentleness he used to lotion my body. When he finish he placed a kiss on my forehead. I tried to move my head up to have his lips meet mine, but I was too late.

  “I’m about to shower.” he said taking his clothes in front of me.

  Oh my god, I always knew his body was A1, but damn. His six pack is like a pro-athletes on TV. His penis pointed right at me, like a mic waiting for me to give the announcement that I’m horny. I found myself drooling at the perfection that is his body. He clear his throat helping me to gather my thoughts. His sexy smirk showed off his pearly white teeth. He went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

  I started jumping on the bed like a little kid
, punching myself on my sides. If only I could do have the things that ran across my mind. I would be a porn star. I would feel so silly trying to have sex or give head and if I did it wrong.

  “Relax, damn, he’s not pressuring you to do anything. Let it happen when it happens.” I told myself.

  With that being said I laid my happy ass down, snuggling underneath his fluffy covers. I attempted to wait for him to get out of the shower, but my eyes had other plans.

  “I love you, I love you, I love you,” those very words woke me up. Tranquel was naked, smelling good, and lying next to me. He left a trail of wet kisses with each word.

  “I love you too.” I replied. His eyes opened wide. I shocked my damn self. I never respond when he says he loves me. He slowly climbed on top of me.

  “Say it again, Diamond.” I sat up using the support from my elbows.

  I swear I shouldn’t have did that. I couldn’t get a word out, Tranquel started licking my neck like I was the best favor lollipop he’d ever tasted. The feeling is something I never felt, but I always wanted to. The feeling is so intense my legs started shaking uncontrollable, spreading apart. He rested his body in between my legs. Moans jump out of my mouth. I bit down on my lip trying to hold them in.

  “You got my thigh wet as hell,” I told him. I covered my face trying to hide the fact that my cheeks were turning red.

  “That’s a good thing.” He whispered. He moved down and began sucking on my titties.

  “Wait, Tranquel, I never had sex before other than…” I couldn’t even finish my sentence without him getting mad.