“Couldn’t catch him. He took off on a dirt bike.”
Disappointment crowded out the fear on her face. “Did you at least see him?”
“From the back. He was my height or a little taller, but lean. Wore a black stocking cap. The bike has a plate so it must be street legal. I caught the first few digits.”
“That’s something, then.”
Russ didn’t want to tell her it would do little for them in terms of searching DMV records, as three digits would return thousands of bikes, but he didn’t think she could take any more bad news so he kept quiet. “Let’s head down to the parking lot.”
He gave her the flashlight and urged her to take the lead down the steep hill. Once on solid concrete, she handed it back to him. Holding it overhead, he watched her closely for dizziness or other impairments from her fall. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, but a head injury could mean a concussion. He’d have the EMTs check her out when they got there.
He pointed at a rough-hewn bench. “Maybe you should sit down.”
“I’m fine.” Her voice cracked and she seemed embarrassed about overreacting to the murder.
“It’s okay to be upset, Syd. A horrible thing happened tonight.”
“I’m fine, really. I’ll be back to a hundred percent by morning.”
“Don’t expect too much too fast.”
“I said I’m fine.” She straightened her shoulders into a hard line. “It may be my first year on the job, but I can handle this.”
“You just witnessed a homicide. If you’re like other officers, you’re probably feeling guilty for not preventing it.”
“I deserve the blame,” she said, her eyes overflowing with guilt. “I should’ve been carrying. Now a person is dead and a killer is running free. What if he hurts someone else?”
Russ knew that look. Had worn it himself. He took a step closer and softened his voice. “You can’t think that way, Syd. You have a life outside the job. You couldn’t have known something like this would happen when you left your gun in the car.”
She backed away, studied his face for long moments, her pained expression turning suspicious. “What’s going on here? Is this about me being a woman?” She pulled her shoulders even higher.
“What?”
“If I was a guy, you’d be jumping down my throat and railing on me for being dumb enough not to carry at all times.” Her voice had turned angry.
He held up his hands and took a moment to regroup.
Maybe she was right. Not in the way she meant, discriminating against her because he thought a woman couldn’t do this job. This had more to do with their past. He’d never interacted with Sydney the deputy, just Sydney, the woman with captivating blue eyes that could leave a man thinking about her into the wee hours of the night.
He needed to adjust his thinking and see the fiercely determined deputy standing before him. She was trying so hard to overcome her guilt and hold herself together at a time when many rookies fell apart.
He’d respect that and get on with it. “All I’m trying to say is I’ve been where you are, and I’m here if you want to talk about it. But we can move on.” He paused, waited until her anger receded a bit. “How about telling me what happened before I got here?”
She shielded her eyes from the light. “There’s really nothing much to add. I was on the hill checking on the construction of my town house. I heard gunshots and dived for cover. The killer called out my name, asking me to come out.” She shivered, then clamped a hand on the back of her neck as if she could stop it. “He said he wanted to talk to me, but I think that was just his way of luring me out so he could kill me, too.”
“You made so much noise falling down that hill, he had to know your location. If he wanted to take you out, even with your vest on, a few rounds in your direction would’ve done it.”
“So you think he really did want to talk to me about something. But what?”
“We figure that out, we ID our killer. The first step is analyzing your connection to Dixon.”
“No real connection. I arrested him a few times, but that’s all. I—” Her voice drifted off as flashing lights rounded the bend in the road, catching her attention.
His men were almost here. He wanted to keep questioning her, but she was distracted. He needed to move her out of the action.
“I need to get Officer Garber to secure the area. You can wait in your car and we’ll continue this when I’m done.”
She opened her mouth as if to question his decision, but then closed it. He escorted her to the car and watched as she gingerly settled in, a soft moan escaping when she bent her knee.
“I need to call this in to my supervisor.” She picked up her cell from the cup holder.
Great. Krueger.
Sergeant Karl—with a K—Krueger, as he liked to call himself, had also applied for the chief’s job, and when the council selected Russ over him, a fierce rivalry developed. If Krueger, representing the county sheriff’s department, showed up and offered to help in the investigation, and Russ turned him away, Krueger would let it slip to the public that the city police—and Russ—weren’t doing all they could to catch this killer.
Maybe he could convince Sydney to hold off. “Do you really want Krueger coming out here right now?”
“Honestly, no. Fortunately, he’s out of town until tomorrow, but I still need to call in.”
Yes, finally, something in his favor tonight.
“Go ahead, then. I’ll be right back.” Russ crossed the lot to meet Bill Garber, his most senior officer.
He’d climbed from his car and was surveying the area. Russ could see the excitement of a murder investigation burning in Garber’s eyes. Not that Garber would be happy someone died, but the thrill of using skills he didn’t normally get to use in this small town was intoxicating.
Russ met him at the road. “I want this entrance sealed off. No traffic, foot or vehicle, beyond that bench.” He pointed at the bench near the path. “And call the ME. Tell him to hurry. With the fog moving in we need to get the body out of here before we can’t see anything.”
Garber nodded. “Should I call county for their portable lights in case?”
That’s what Russ liked about Garber. Always one step ahead. “Do that. Let me know what they say. I’ll be at Deputy Tucker’s cruiser taking her statement.”
Garber’s eyes filled with questions, but Russ walked away. He wouldn’t waste time now bringing Garber up to speed. Back at Sydney’s car, Russ chose not to sit but stood next to the door. That way he could block her view of the scene and keep an eye on what was going on at the same time.
He focused on Sydney for the moment. “So tell me about Dixon’s arrests.”
She swiveled to face him. “The first time was last month when I busted a party at his house and hauled him in for supplying alcohol to minors.”
“Your sister, Nikki, was involved, right?”
She nodded. “Dixon got her and three of her friends stinking drunk and the judge let him off with a fine. A fine. Can you imagine that?” Her voice rose with each word. “He corrupts young girls, pays a few bucks and is free to do it again.”
“Sometimes our system doesn’t work.”
“Yeah, well, try to act so complacent when it happens to someone you love.”
She had a good point. How would he react if this happened to his seven-year-old son, Zack? Not that Russ would find himself in this position. He’d let alcohol control his life for a few years and now only had weekend visits with his son. They spent every waking moment together so this couldn’t happen. But as a father, Russ could still understand why Sydney reacted this way.
“I’m sure I wouldn’t let it roll off my back real easy.”
“And I couldn’t either. She’s my little sister, Russ. I fed her. Changed her diapers. Loved her when both our parents failed us.” She paused. Breathed deeply. “I couldn’t let Dixon get away with hurting her and walking free. He had to pay.”
“
You wanted him dead,” he added, to see her reaction.
“What? No! Of course not. I just wanted him in jail. I knew he’d screw up again so I made it a point to follow him in my free time.” She met his eyes. “Last Wednesday afternoon I caught him on his porch selling coke and busted him.”
He couldn’t believe it. She’d gone rogue and followed the guy, putting herself in danger. “They call it off duty for a reason, Syd. Without backup, you could get into serious trouble. Besides, you don’t have the experience to run a narcotics investigation.”
“Believe me, I’m well aware of my limitations. When I started following him, I didn’t know it would lead to drugs. Or to this.” She held out her bloody hands. “If I’d known my actions would result in someone’s death, I would never have pursued him.” She shivered and wrapped her arms around her waist, sheer misery clouding her face.
He hated to see any officer forced to deal with death, and he hadn’t wanted to make things worse. Still, he had a job to do. That meant tough discussions like this would occur. But he could try to make it easier.
He went to his trunk, grabbed a blanket and settled it over her shoulders. Raw anguish filled her eyes.
Russ felt her pain.
To the bone.
He had lived it for the past four years, since he’d watched a homicide suspect gun down a six-year-old boy. Watched, helplessly, in slow motion.
Russ wanted to go back. Save Willie Babcock’s life. But that wasn’t possible. The price had been paid. Willie with his life. Russ with the loss of his family.
He shook off the emotions, dug deep for the calm center he’d worked so hard to develop the past few years. He couldn’t change the past, but he could stop it from happening again.
He’d do everything within his power to find the killer so another person didn’t die on his watch.
TWO
Heavy banks of fog drifted off the lake and rolled across the cement, as if alive and breathing. Damp and irritated from the mist, Russ stood in the parking lot next to Garber, waiting for him to conclude his call with the sheriff’s department.
On a good day, waiting around got on Russ’s nerves, but tonight it left him with too much time to think about Sydney’s wounded expression. Something that was definitely not in his best interest.
Garber clapped his phone closed and turned to Russ. “Not good news. This fog has the sheriff’s department swamped. They’re investigating a hit-and-run on the south side of the county and using their only set of lights. We won’t get them until they finish.”
“Any idea of time?”
“Could be a few hours or not at all if they have another problem,” Garber replied.
“No sense in all of us standing around. Call Dixon’s landlord back. Tell him I’m on my way to the house and to meet me there. Call me when the lights arrive or if anything else develops.”
Heading in Sydney’s direction, he saw her sitting on the bumper of a silent ambulance, its red light swirling through the fog in an eerie dance. She’d washed the blood from her hands and pulled her hair into a ponytail, which emphasized the angry gash on her head, now swollen to a massive purple lump. At least the bleeding had subsided, thanks to EMT Lisa Watson, who’d applied a neat row of butterfly bandages.
“That’ll do for now.” Lisa pressed her finger on the bottom bandage.
Sydney winced, then forced a laugh. “Will I live?”
“Looks worse than it is. I closed the wound, but it could still scar. You might want to have a doctor take a look at it.”
“Or not. But thanks, Lisa.” Sydney smiled up at Lisa, a genuine, warm smile like the one she’d radiated up at Russ as a teen, almost overpowering his common sense in sending her away.
He shook off the thought. He was here to do a job. Catch a killer. Not let the cute dimples or generous smattering of freckles dotted across high cheekbones distract him.
He stepped into his professional mode and approached the pair. “So Deputy Tucker’s good to go, then?”
Lisa nodded. “She’ll be fine with some rest and over-the-counter pain relievers.”
“Then if you’ll excuse us, I need to have a word with her.”
“I’ll be taking off,” Lisa said to Sydney. “I’m off duty in an hour or so, but you can call me any time tonight if you need something.”
“Thanks again, Lisa.” Sydney shoved off the bumper, grimacing on the way up.
He nodded at the jagged slit in her pant leg, darkened with blood. “Looks like your forehead isn’t your worst problem.”
“I’ll ice my knee when I get home. It’ll be fine.” She turned her gaze to the officers at the base of the path. “Any leads?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. We’re waiting on your department to deliver lights, so I’m heading over to Dixon’s place and wanted you to accompany me.”
“Me?” Her eyes widened.
He laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised.”
“You have to admit it’s not common practice to ask for a rookie’s help.”
“Normally I wouldn’t, especially when you’re the closest thing we have to a witness on this case, but I’m hoping a trip to Dixon’s house will jog your memory and give us a lead.” Before she could ask another question, he held his hand toward the road. “My cruiser’s over there.”
Though her gaze still held questions, she started toward his car. He heard her groan in pain, but kept his mouth shut. The less he said about her injuries, the less likely he would make a comment that she misunderstood. For the same reason, he didn’t open the passenger door for her as he would in a social situation, just climbed behind the wheel. When she settled into the other seat, he eased onto the road.
Pulling out her seat belt, she suddenly let it go. “My gun. It’s still in my car.”
“Relax. You won’t need it at Dixon’s house.”
Sighing, she retrieved the belt. “You must think I’m hopeless at this job.”
He could hear the despondency and self-recrimination in her voice. She had to find a way to deal with the guilt. Not the way he had, with a stiff drink, but by talking and working through it.
He gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile. “Good officers aren’t born, Syd. They learn through experience.”
“But you’d never leave your gun in the car.”
“No, you’re right. But I might’ve as a rookie. All you can do is learn from tonight and adjust accordingly.” Trying not to feel so much like a hypocrite by telling her one thing and still letting Willie’s death get to him, he eased through light traffic.
“Not that this is an excuse.” She shifted to face him. “But I like to do something positive on my way home to help relieve the stresses of the day. Part of that is leaving my duty belt behind. It’s like taking off the weight of the belt helps remove the weight of the job.”
He didn’t know what to say that he hadn’t already said, other than telling her about Willie. And for the first time in years, he wanted to tell someone.
He opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come. Other than his partner, he’d never talked with another LEO about Willie. They’d have told him to let it go. That he wasn’t at fault. A second search wasn’t protocol. But Russ learned early in the job to take extra precautions. He just didn’t follow his instincts that particular day. And it still haunted him.
So much so he still couldn’t talk about it, so he focused on his driving, taking the shortest route to Dixon’s house. Making the final turn, he caught sight of Sydney’s questioning gaze.
“What?” he asked, hoping she hadn’t been watching him battle warring emotions.
“What do you do to let go of a bad day?”
He shrugged. “My biggest problems are often bureaucracy or the budget. Not finding a killer.”
“So what about tonight? When you get home, how are you gonna let this go?”
“I haven’t had to deal with real stress since leaving Portland, so I don’t really know.” And he hadn
’t had to deal with it since he put his drinking days behind him. So what would he do tonight?
“So why’d you leave, anyway?”
Searching for the right address, he slowed. “You’re full of questions.”
“I’m just trying to learn how to handle the job, Russ. It’s different from what I thought it would be. Especially tonight.” She rubbed a hand over her eyes. “I know we’re told to expect to see people die in car crashes, but I honestly never thought I’d see someone gunned down.”
This experience could make her walk away from the job. A job she excelled at, from what he’d heard through the grapevine. She was known for being patient. Understanding. Intuitive. Sure, she’d panicked tonight, but law enforcement would lose out if a rookie with her promise quit. Hopefully, he could help restore her confidence during the investigation.
He tipped his head out the window. “That Dixon’s house, with the big porch?”
“Yeah, that’s it.” She peered out the window. “I can’t see how this visit will help. Nothing much happened here. It was a simple drug bust.”
“Try to let go of that notion or you might block anything that could help us.” He slid into a parking space.
He climbed out and a feeling of unease settled over him.
The wind howled through trees, whipping the fine mist into his face. He looked at Dixon’s house. Surveyed the ragged shrubs. The dark porch. Saw nothing out of the ordinary. Searched the street, peering into the deep shadows running the length of the house.
“What is it?” Sydney asked coming up behind him and startling him.
“Nothing.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Then why are you so jumpy?”
“I have the feeling our suspect is watching us.”
He saw a fresh wave of fear grip her face and instantly wanted to take back his words. But maybe scaring her a bit wasn’t a bad thing. If it didn’t paralyze her like earlier tonight, and made her more vigilant, a little fear was just what she needed to stay one step ahead of their killer.
Russ’s concern upping hers, Sydney looked across the street at the small white bungalow illuminated under a streetlight. The fog swirling around the lake hadn’t arrived in town. She could clearly see white paint rising in papery peels on old clapboard siding. The stirring breeze moved overgrown grass and carried the flakes into the air, depositing them like snow on the unkempt yard.
Behind the Badge Page 2