It was that thought, that thought and the anger burning within me, that got me up and around early when dawn broke. Kiyo—who apparently had slept—instantly woke when he heard me stirring.
“Let me guess,” he said. “You didn’t sleep.”
“Nope.”
I took out some of the travel food from my bag, cringing when my fingers brushed against the crown. Kiyo stood up and stretched, then wandered off into the foliage. He returned several minutes later with some mangos in his arms.
“Supplement your breakfast,” he said, tossing me one. He leaned against a tree and bit into one of his own.
I nodded my thanks, but the fruit’s sweetness was lost on me. Nothing had any taste. I was distantly aware of Kiyo’s eyes on me but ignored them.
“What are you thinking?” he asked at last.
“How much I hate Dorian.”
“What are you going to do?”
This was something I’d thought about for a while, so I had a solid answer. “Go to him. Call him out. Pass him a note in class. Tell him it’s over—everything. Us. Our alliance.”
Kiyo’s eyebrows rose. “You might not want to be so hasty on that last one.”
“How can I be in a partnership with someone like that?” I exclaimed.
“You can be in business with people you don’t like. I wouldn’t throw away his military support in the middle of this mess.”
“I don’t need his help,” I said obstinately. “Especially if Katrice does call a truce over the crown.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“I don’t know.” I stood up and rubbed my sticky hands on my jeans. Kiyo was the last person I expected to be having this discussion with. “What are you getting at? Should I forgive him? Let it all go and jump back into bed?”
“No. Absolutely not.” Kiyo walked over to me, almost mirroring our positions from last night when he’d been on the verge of telling me something romantic. Only, I’d since had more time to come to terms with my anger and could actually focus now on Kiyo, the concern in his eyes and the way his body always made mine feel. “But I don’t think Dorian will leave the war, no matter what else happens between you. And you should take that help.”
“I’m afraid …” Until those words came out of my mouth, I didn’t realize I meant them. “I’m afraid when I see him, when I talk to him … he’ll do it again. He’ll convince me of, I don’t know. Whatever his plan is. He’ll justify it and lure me back in.”
Kiyo cupped my face between his hands. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You’re strong. And I’ll go with you, if you want.”
I looked up into Kiyo’s eyes, feeling lost in their depths and confused by what I saw in them. “I do want you to.”
Leaning down, he pulled me close and kissed me almost before I realized what had happened. There was heat in his lips, heat and hunger and that raw, animal passion that so defined him. My body pressed against his, and I was startled at the arousal that kiss ignited within me, me who twenty-four hours ago had been sworn and sealed to Dorian. Now, the desire within me was all for Kiyo, a desire that was probably equal parts revenge against Dorian, a resurgence of my feelings for Kiyo, and the simple lust triggered by being with anyone I found so attractive.
I pulled away from him, and it wasn’t easy. That kiss had consumed me, taken over my reasoning. I had a feeling I was seconds away from ripping his clothes off and throwing myself at him. Some annoyingly rational part of me kept saying I shouldn’t do that until I knew for sure if it’d be because I still cared about Kiyo or because I wanted to get back at Dorian.
“No, don’t. I can’t,” I said, taking a few steps away. “I’m not … I’m not ready….”
I knew he could tell that wasn’t exactly true. He’d be able to smell the desire on me, the pheromones and other physical signs that said I wanted him. But my head and heart? No, I wasn’t sure about that.
“Eugenie …” His voice was husky, every ounce of him radiating that dark, primal sexuality that had always drawn me in.
“I can’t,” I repeated. “Please … don’t do that again….”
I hurried off blindly, into the forest, ignoring the branches and leaves whipping against me. I didn’t have to go very far because something told me Kiyo wouldn’t follow. He’d leave me alone for now. I sank to the ground, leaning my head back against the smooth bark of a tree I didn’t recognize. My heart pounded in my chest, in turmoil from Kiyo’s advances.
I’d suspected he still cared, especially seeing as the breakup had been more my idea than his. He’d conceded its wisdom, true, but I’d always known he’d wished things could have been different. Hell, that made two of us. I exhaled and closed my eyes. What did I do with this? What did I do with Kiyo’s feelings? What did I do with my own feelings?
Because at the core of it all, my heart was still raging over Dorian. I’d meant what I said to Kiyo: I was indeed going to go back and tell Dorian we were over. I’d been disappointed in Kiyo—still was, a little—over his not taking direct action against Leith. Yet, as much as that had hurt me, Kiyo had been blunt and open about his reasons for it. That was better than someone telling you pretty lies. Pretty lies. Dorian was full of them—and not just about the crown. Suddenly, I found myself questioning why he’d even suggested Kiyo come along on this quest, rather than Jasmine. Maybe Dorian had thought this would be a convenient way to get rid of someone he’d always seen as a potential rival.
I didn’t know. The only thing I was certain of was that I was getting more and more worked up as I sat there. A faint splash startled me out of my emotional maelstrom, and I opened my eyes. No cry of alarm had come from Volusian back at camp, and a moment later, I realized what was going on. Rising, I headed over toward the pool in the glade’s heart.
Sure enough, I found Kiyo swimming laps back and forth. The lagoon was crystal clear, sparkling in the morning sunlight, and it sang to my magical senses. I wondered if he was there to clean off yesterday’s battle or to work out his frustration over me. Judging from the lines on his face—maybe both. I watched him for a minute, knowing opportunities to catch him unaware were rare. The water and his mood had distracted him; he normally would have smelled and heard an observer. After a little while longer, I made my decision. I began taking off my clothes. Kiyo turned and noticed me just as I slipped into the water, easing myself down the stone edge.
“Eugenie … what are you doing? You’re soaking your bandages.”
I swam over to him, on the pool’s far side. “I’m here naked with you, and that’s your biggest concern?”
He eyed me carefully. “Well, that was our last batch of them.”
I put my hands on his chest. “We’ll be home soon.”
When I brought my lips to his, joining us in a deep kiss, I felt the same response as earlier. He answered me hungrily, arms wrapping around my waist as we pressed together. Now, however, it was Kiyo who broke us apart—despite the arousal in his eyes. I had a feeling there was a human versus animal war going on within him.
“Wait,” he said. “Earlier … you told me you couldn’t …”
“I changed my mind. I can do this,” I said. “Does it need to be more than that right now?” I was still going to tell Dorian I was done with him, but I didn’t need to for this. I had mentally broken up with him. I was free to do whatever I wanted. I moved toward Kiyo again, slowly walking us toward the water’s edge. Our top halves emerged, the morning air slightly chill against my wet skin.
“I don’t trust why you’re doing this,” said Kiyo. But when I drew him closer, he didn’t pull back. “I think you’re getting back at Dorian.”
I kissed him hard, cutting off whatever logical arguments he might attempt. “Maybe I am,” I said at last. He was gasping, a little surprised at the intensity. I felt empowered, filled with lust for Kiyo and—yes—anger at Dorian. “But you’re the one I’m doing it with. Doesn’t that mean something?”
There was a pause as Ki
yo’s dark, smoky eyes studied me intensely. “Yes.” With one swift motion, he turned me around, pushing his body against mine. “It does. This is how it should have been anyway.” I caught my breath as he kissed my neck, teeth grazing my skin. “And I’ll take back what’s mine.”
My body burned, both at his touch and the dangerous tone in his voice. Then, the full meaning of his words hit me. I started to turn around but his hands were on me, pinning me against the ledge surrounding the water. “Hey, I’m not yours,” I growled. “I thought I made that clear.”
“You’re right,” he said. “But you’re not his either. Not anymore. You never should have been. We never should have been apart. And if you want this—if you want to do this—you have to tell me you feel something for me. I can’t believe this is just simple revenge sex.”
“Kiyo—”
The hands that held me slid forward to my breasts, the roughness of his touch sending shockwaves through my body. “Tell me,” he breathed against my ear, his hands sliding along my stomach and down between my thighs. “Tell me you still feel something for me.”
His body closed the miniscule space left between us, pushing me right to stone. I felt him hard and ready. “I …” I closed my eyes, lost in the way his hands touched me and stoked the sexual tension that had been building between us for days. What did I feel? For a moment, I was conflicted. Maybe this wasn’t right. Maybe I did need to end things formally with Dorian before letting my emotions run away with me. “I …”
“Yes?”
He bent me over, hands gripping my waist, and suddenly, he was sliding into me, a low groan escaping his lips as he filled me up. I gave a small cry at the unexpected act, one that turned into a moan of pleasure as he began to move in and out of me.
“Tell me there’s still something, anything …” he grunted. “If not, I’ll stop and let this go. Just say it.” “I …”
Again, I couldn’t summon the words. This time, it was simply because I was too lost in how he felt. I’d forgotten what it was like with him, the way he’d always loved to take me from behind, driven by the animal instinct within him. There was more than that to him, though. Images flashed through me, the way he’d fought by my side, the compassion when he’d seen how hurt I was over Dorian’s deception.
“Tell me,” he said again, a savage and hungry note in his voice. “Tell me you want me; tell me there’s still something between us. That you don’t want me to stop.”
He felt so good, so strong and hard. “No …”
“No what?”
“No … don’t stop … there is … of course there’s still something….”
I meant it. And with that, the animal within him was unleashed. I screamed as he gave me the full force of his body, my arms pushing hard to keep me from being shoved against the ledge. The sound of our bodies slapping together echoed around us as he thrust tirelessly, taking me over and over as he reclaimed my body.
“I’ve missed you, Eug,” he managed to say. “Missed having sex with you. Missed making love to you. But especially … especially missed fucking you.”
His words were punctuated with a particularly sharp thrust, one that took me hard and deep as he bent me over more. I screamed again, but it was out of ecstasy, not pain. Kiyo had always been able to make me come this way, and now was no exception. I felt the nerves of my body explode, every part of me shaking. Still he kept moving in me with that primal need, pushing me into sensory overload. He’d given up on words, simply making small grunts as our bodies connected.
At last his body reached its breaking point, giving me the hardest thrusts he was capable of as his climax hit. He held me tight, my body there to fulfill his need as he came in me, groaning and spasming until he’d finally given me all he had.
He pulled out, and I turned around, my own breath shallow and rapid. “That … maybe we shouldn’t have done that …”
Kiyo put an arm around my waist and pulled me to him. His lips grazed mine. “You sound like a guy the morning after. You’re the one who attacked me, remember?”
“True,” I admitted. With my lust sated, I was feeling slightly more coherent. But only barely. His naked body was still right against mine, and that was distracting.
“Give me a few more minutes,” he murmured. “A few more minutes and we can do it again …”
“We’re probably just creating more problems.”
He kissed my neck. “What’s one more problem among all the others we have? One more time, Eugenie. I’ve missed you so much. Let’s do this just one more time.”
I could feel that he was indeed almost ready again. I lifted one of my legs up, half-wrapping it around him as my body decided it was ready again too. “And then what?”
“Then?” Kiyo’s mouth moved toward mine. “Then we go see Dorian.”
Chapter 13
The journey back was uneventful, the most notable thing being the afterglow that now burned between Kiyo and me—something I now questioned the wisdom of. My words had been true: I’d never stopped caring about him. But he’d been right too: what had happened between us back in the glade had come from my own outrage and need to get back at Dorian. That wasn’t really a good reason to start a relationship. It wasn’t even a really good reason for casual sex, and honestly, I wasn’t sure what my status was with Kiyo at the moment.
Deanna reappeared and followed along so quietly and obediently that I finally broke the silence to reassure her I’d keep my part of the bargain. Her drab face lit up, and I had to give her credit for not pushing the matter until I settled my other business.
Kiyo and I went straight to Dorian’s, once we’d crossed back into more familiar territory. My plan was to deal with him first and then jump to the human world. I thought it would be safer to have the crown there. Dorian’s guards met me with pleased grins, and while they were surprised to see Kiyo, most seemed to know I’d been off on some secret mission. Coming back alive was a good sign.
As soon as we entered the castle, I ordered a messenger to go to Katrice and inform her that I now possessed the Iron Crown and that if she wanted to talk surrender, I was all ears. As Dorian’s consort, I had the power to order around his staff—but I had a feeling that would end soon.
Kiyo and I were admitted into Dorian’s exalted presence out in a courtyard, where he was making a long-tormented courtier named Muran play the harp. I knew for a fact that Muran had had exactly one lesson, and Dorian seemed quite amused watching the guy struggle through. This kind of thing was one of Dorian’s greatest pastimes, and usually, even though I felt bad for Muran, it provided me with a little amusement. Today I felt none.
When we entered the courtyard, Dorian took one look at our faces and promptly ordered everyone away—even his guards. He still wore that small, carefree smile, but I’d seen a subtle shift in the lines of his face. He knew something was up. His astuteness was what made him such a good ruler.
“Well, here you are,” he said, sitting back in the gentry equivalent of a lawn chair. Except, of course, I’d never seen Home Depot sell anything so ornate and gilded. Normally when I arrived, Dorian kissed me, but his wariness must have held him back. “As beautiful as ever, my dear, if a little beat up around the edges. I suppose this means you either succeeded or just barely escaped with your life?”
“We succeeded,” I said. “I’ve got the crown.”
Again—that smile didn’t change, but an eager light flickered in Dorian’s eyes. He leaned forward. “I knew it. I knew you could do it.” He studied me up and down, his gaze finally resting on the bag over my shoulder. “May I see it?”
“No,” I said bluntly. “No one’s going to see it. It’s going to be hidden away where it can’t be used to start eating up people’s lands.”
Dorian’s eyebrows rose, and he began to speak. I could already imagine a hundred variations of what was going to come out of his mouth, something along the lines of, “Whatever are you talking about, my dear?”
I stepped for
ward, my control snapping as I cut him off. “Don’t start! Don’t even start with some sugar-coated denial. You’ve known all along what the crown could do! You knew it’d scare Katrice because it meant I—and by default you—could take over her kingdom!”
Dorian hesitated, and again, I could guess at the thoughts spinning in his head. Denial or backpedaling? He finally went with the latter.
“And what better way to push her into peace?” he said at last. “The point of a war like this is to eventually march over and subdue someone anyway. Isn’t it much simpler and faster to achieve that same end through another way?”
“A way that rips her land from her!” I exclaimed. “And sticks me with another fucking kingdom!” I stepped forward and had to forcibly keep myself from getting closer. I was so, so angry. So angry that this man I cared about could do this to me. I was almost angrier at him than Katrice at the moment. From her, at least, I expected betrayal. “And that’s what you would have wanted to do—not just scare her. You would have found some way, some justification for taking that drastic step, just like you got me to go after this in the first place.”
Much of the humor had faded from Dorian’s face now. “And would you have gone after it if you’d known?”
“No.”
He shrugged. “Well, there you have it.”
I was aghast. “That’s it? How the hell can you be so lax about this? How can you act like it’s okay to have tricked me from the beginning—you and that hag? How can you claim to love me and lie to me?”
“I do love you,” he said. “More than you know. I did this for your own good.”
“You did it for your own good,” I snapped. “I can’t believe I fell for it again. You’ve done this before, and now I’m done. Done with you. Done with all of this. I don’t need your help anymore. I’ll finish this fucking war on my own.”
“Eugenie,” warned Kiyo softly. He didn’t contradict me, not in front of Dorian, but I understood the subtext. It was the point he’d made before: not to spurn Dorian’s military help.
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