by J. M. Hill
Michael and Nina walked together arm in arm to her Porsche. She was dressed impeccably, her hair perfectly styled, and laughing at something Michael had said, tossing her hair and rubbing his arm.
A twinge of anger flashed through me when she touched him, even though I knew I had no right to be angry. They looked like they belonged together, both of them beautiful. My anger turned into plain old jealousy.
Michael opened the car door for her and just as she was getting ready to climb inside, they looked over at me. Caught staring like an idiot, I panicked for a moment wishing I could blend in with my surroundings somehow, and gave a small wave with the newspaper in my hand. Michael grinned widely in amusement, and I quickly walked into the house closing the door behind me, embarrassed.
Every time I saw Michael with Nina it made me miserable.
I grabbed my coffee and heard the click of the front door opening, sure it was Michael. Too embarrassed by my earlier scene of stupidity, there was no way was going to face him. No way. I sprinted to my bedroom and closed the door silently. I turned the lock on the doorknob, hearing his footsteps as he came down the hallway toward my room. I put my ear to the door and tried not to breathe. There was a soft knock, and I clamped my hand over my mouth.
“Grace?” He knocked again. “Are you in there?” Another knock. “Grace?”
I stood frozen, sure he could hear my heart pounding through the door. There was a soft chuckle and quiet steps as he walked down the hallway, and then the front door closed. I exhaled, and waited for a moment. Not hearing anything, I returned to the kitchen setting my coffee on the table and pulled out a chair.
“Ahem.”
I jumped about a foot in the air and spun around to see Michael leaning against the wall in the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest, a huge smirk on his face.
“Holy crap,” I muttered.
He laughed quietly as he watched me try to pull myself together.
“Playing hide and seek?” he asked with a smug grin. I sat at the table with my back to him so he wouldn’t see how red my face was.
“No.” I opened the newspaper in an attempt to ignore him, which of course was a complete waste of time. Michael Anderson was impossible to ignore.
I knew he was still there, though he wasn’t speaking. It felt like he was boring a hole through the back of my head with his eyes, and I wanted to go back to my room and hide. I also wanted to ask him about Nina, but there was no way I was going to do that.
Finally, after a long silence, he came around the table and sat in front of me, resting his chin on his hands, and watching me with a grin. I raised the paper to block his view, but he sniggered so I lowered the paper slightly, giving him an angry look.
“What?” I spat.
“Is there something bothering you this morning?”
“No,” I lied.
“Well, don’t you think you would be able to read better if the paper was right-side-up?” He was biting the corner of his mouth, enjoying my discomfort.
Well, crap.
I was trying so hard to ignore him, I had the stupid newspaper upside-down. With a sigh, I turned it around while my face reddened. He laughed quietly as he got up to pour himself a cup of coffee, and then returned to his chair. My body tensed as he walked past, but I kept my face hidden behind the paper, feeling his eyes on me again.
“You look cute today,” he said, casually opening a section of the newspaper. I snorted a laugh and continued trying to focus on the sports section, since it was right-side-up now.
“Are you sure there’s nothing bothering you?” he asked.
I lowered the paper to meet the full force of his gaze. “You decided not to run this morning?”
His expression turned apologetic. “I had a last minute appointment this morning. Did you miss the stimulating conversation?” His eyes sparkled with humor, and I couldn’t be mad at him anymore.
“Actually, I was able to run much faster today for some reason.” I smiled smugly.
“Oh, you’re so witty.” He grimaced.
The front door opened and Kate, Miles and Garrett all filed into the kitchen carrying bags of groceries.
“Hey, guys!” Garrett said cheerfully as he came over and kissed the top of my head, which he now did on a regular basis.
I glanced at Michael who was smiling widely as we pushed away from the table to help put groceries away.
Garrett grinned down at me. “Stanford. USC. Fight on, right?”
“Fight on. Two o’clock,” I said. “You want brownies?”
He rolled his eyes. “Uh, yeah.”
“Are you coming?” I asked Michael, and he nodded. “Good. You can help me make the brownies, since your brother never does,” I said, raising my eyebrows at Garrett.
“No kidding,” Garrett said shaking his head as he patted Miles’ shoulder. “Miles, you really should help out once in a while.”
Miles shook his head at his brother while the rest of us busted-up laughing.
EIGHT
It was Monday before Thanksgiving, and Michael and I went for our run, having our usual casual conversation. Kate and I were invited to spend the holiday with the Andersons at their parent’s home just outside of Castle Rock. He talked about his family’s Thanksgiving traditions and asked about Kate’s and mine. This was difficult to answer because we didn’t really have many.
“Uncle David was usually at the hospital on holidays,” I explained. “I’m not sure why it always worked out that way, but it did.” “So what did you and Kate do?”
“We always made a traditional dinner, and then of course, football. I guess that’s it.”
“That makes me a little sad.”
“Why?” I asked. He stopped running and I stopped too. His expression was troubled, and I didn’t like to see him that way.
“I feel a little selfish,” he said.
I snorted a laugh. “You’re the least selfish person I know, Michael Anderson. Why would you feel selfish?”
His gaze shifted between me and the ground.
“I guess because you never really had the chance to make holiday traditions with your own parents.” He smiled weakly. “But I’m also glad you and Kate are part of our family now, so it makes me feel selfish.”
Without thinking about it I stepped toward him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and he embraced me.
“You don’t have to feel sad about that, it’s just how things were for Kate and me. We never realized we were missing out on anything.” I looked up at him. “You and your brothers…you can’t even imagine how thankful we are that you’re a part of our lives. Everything we missed with our own families, each day we spend with you guys, we’re making new memories. We aren’t missing anything.”
I watched him hoping he understood what I was trying to say. He pulled me close to him again and I could feel my heart pounding, the sensation of his arms around me making me feel like I could fly. He released me with a fervent smile, and we continued our run.
“Make sure you bring your running shoes with you to my parent’s,” he told me as I walked toward the house. “You didn’t want to take a vacation from running did you?”
“Not if you don’t.”
Wednesday finally arrived and we were in Garrett’s Hummer, making our way to Will and Ava’s house in Black Forest. The drive went quickly, and soon we turned onto a paved driveway that wound between massive pine trees, and ended in front of a magnificent house.
The red brick house was two-stories high with tall arched windows and white columns that stretched from the roof line, to the front porch. A warm glow of light shone through the windows making the house look like something you’d see on a greeting card.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“Michael designed it,” Garrett said as he walked to the back of the car to get our bags. “They just finished construction a couple of months ago.”
Michael stood next to me, a suitcase in each hand and a duffel bag over his shoulder,
while I stared at the house in astonishment. I reached for the duffel bag, but he shook his head with a smile.
“You designed this?” I asked, pointing to the house.
He shrugged, and I shook my head.
“What?” He asked.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, you’re very talented.”
He smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Will and Ava greeted us warmly, and I took in the beauty of their home, overwhelmed by the fact Michael had designed such a spectacular place.
A grand staircase was the focal-point of the entryway, with a stunning chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. The colors of the fabrics and décor were richly-colored reds, golds and coppers, and the wood floors a dark mahogany.
“Girls, make yourselves at home,” Ava instructed. “Anything you need, just ask.”
We followed the boys up the staircase into a wide hallway, several doors on both sides. Rows of family portraits hung along the walls, and the boys pointed out who was who, as Kate and I looked over each one; Will and Ava at their wedding, baby pictures of the boys, and more of them at various ages.
At the end of the hallway was a picture that seemed to be separated from the others. It was a portrait of a young girl, in her early teens, with long, wavy hair and blue eyes. The dark-haired beauty was all smiles and dimples, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I studied the portrait closely, realizing it was their baby sister, Rachel.
“She’s beautiful,” I whispered, examining each detail of her lovely face. Garrett put his arm over my shoulders, but didn’t say anything.
“Yes, she is,” Michael said, the sadness in his voice causing my heart to hurt with the loss their family had suffered. “It happened so fast. She was diagnosed and died six weeks later.”
Since we’d met, I believed the Andersons stepped out of some kind of fairy tale story land. Smart, wealthy, handsome, talented. But just like the rest of us, they weren’t exempt from heartache. I glanced up at Michael, and his eyes met mine. The pained expression on his face was heartbreaking, and I wanted to comfort him in some way. But I knew, when you’ve lost someone you love, comfort is difficult to find. It doesn’t matter if it’s one year or eight, the heartache is always there. I reached for Michael’s hand, squeezing it gently, and he smiled as we followed Garrett into the room where Kate and I would be staying.
“Mom said dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes,” Miles said. “We’ll see you downstairs.”
“Hey, Gracie,” Garrett said as he walked toward the door. “Mom and Dad have a piano downstairs, and I told them you and Kate play.” He waggled his eyebrows at me and I felt the blood drain from my face.
“Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“Aw, c’mon,” he whined. “I wanna hear you play.”
“No.” I shook my head adamantly. “Absolutely not.”
Garrett’s shoulders dropped, and he followed Miles out the door. Michael leaned toward me.
“I would love to hear you play,” he said in a quiet voice before pulling the door closed behind him.
“Do you think Ava and Will really expect us to play the piano for them?” I asked Kate anxiously.
“Oh please,” she said, exasperated. “You could play in your sleep. Stop worrying.”
Of course Kate wasn’t worried, because she was the one that could play in her sleep. I dug the toiletries bag out of my suitcase, and followed her into the bathroom to freshen up for dinner. We made our way down the stairs to the kitchen where everyone was already gathered around the table, and Garrett patted the seat between him and Michael, waiting for me.
Ava made a delicious dinner of green salad, beef stew and yeast rolls. There were several conversations going on at once while we ate. Miles, Kate and Will were talking about our store, while Garrett and Ava were talking about something that had to do with Thanksgiving dinner.
“Grace,” Ava said my name sweetly. “I’ve been informed you and Kate play the piano.”
“It’s been a while,” I answered nervously. “But yes, we do play.”
“You don’t play anymore?”
“They took the piano out of the house when they remodeled,” Garrett explained for me. “And they never brought it back.”
“There wasn’t really room for it anymore,” Kate amended.
“That’s a shame,” Ava said. “Did you ever play duets?”
Kate and I actually did play duets. Uncle David always loved it when Kate and I played the piano together.
“They did more than just play, Mom,” Garrett answered again. “They’ve won state competitions and everything.” I looked at him in shock, wondering how he knew this because I never told him, and I’m sure Kate hadn’t either.
“Really?” Ava smiled. “That’s wonderful! I can’t wait to hear you.”
“Well, it’s been a while,” I said again.
Garrett chuckled, and I narrowed my eyes at him, nudging him under the table.
He shrugged. “Kenny told me. I think it’s pretty cool myself.”
After dinner, Kate and I insisted on doing the dishes and Ava relented. Michael and Miles helped while Garrett, Will and Ava went into the family room. When we finished the dishes, Miles took Kate’s hand, pulling her from the kitchen.
“We want to show you something,” he said with a big smile. “You too, Grace.”
Michael motioned with his head for me to follow them. Miles led us into a large room decorated completely in white, and right in the middle of the room was a beautiful, grand piano. Not just any piano mind you, but a Steinway, and it was beautiful. I touched the smooth ebony finish reverently, while Kate sat on the tufted, leather bench and lightly ran her fingers over the ivory keys.
“This is wonderful,” I said. “Who plays?”
“Mom,” Michael replied. “She always tried to teach us, but none of us were really interested, I think it makes her a little sad.”
Kate played a C-scale quietly, and we both smiled at the perfect pitch and tone, each note clear and beautiful. I knew she wouldn’t be able to stand it, because I barely could. She began playing, her fingers gliding over the keys smoothly and flawlessly as the music filled the room. Miles was awestruck as he walked slowly to the piano, sitting beside Kate. He watched her face as she played, his expression so full of love.
“This is one of Gracie’s favorites,” Kate said.
“ ‘The Swan’,” I murmured, and closed my eyes, listening to each note of music. I remembered my mom playing the same piece when I was little, and a pang of sadness caused a lump to form in my throat.
When I opened my eyes, Michael stood next to me, his eyes intense and sincere as he gazed into mine. It was at that moment, I realized I loved him.
I loved Michael Anderson.
It became clear why I’d never understood the feelings I had for him. I’d never been in love before. There was no doubt in my mind now.
I knew if I was asked to explain it, I wouldn’t be able to. The feelings and emotions reached deeper than I knew possible, but also offered a strange sense of comfort. My heart ached with happiness and pain at the same time.
What if he didn’t feel the same? And what about Nina?
Fear eclipsed the happiness as the thought made my heart ache even more. Michael’s expression changed as he watched me, and I looked away quickly, afraid he’d see right through me.
The beautiful song came to an end, and it was quiet.
“That was amazing,” Miles said taking Kate’s hands in his.
“Thanks, Kate,” I told her and she winked at me.
Ava, Will and Garrett had come into the room unnoticed.
“That was absolutely beautiful,” Ava said.
Kate stood, and did a quick curtsy and everyone laughed as they turned to leave the room.
“So, when are you going to play for us?” Garrett asked me with a grin.
“Kate’s much better than I am, she pulled that off without touching a piano in almost a
year, I don’t think I should even try.”
“I’m thinking you should,” Michael urged, but I avoided looking at him.
Garrett grabbed both of my hands excitedly. “Let’s go kill some zombies!”
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked, having no idea what he was talking about.
Michael laughed. “It’s a video game.”
“C’mon,” Garrett pleaded. “It’ll be fun!” I was tired, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He studied my expression, and grimaced, pulling me into a tight hug.
“Okay, fine. But you’re playing tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I agreed, and he bent down so I could kiss his cheek. I started to follow him into the living room, when Michael tugged at my sleeve.
“Are we going to run tomorrow?”
I tried to smile. “Sure, I’ll be ready. Regular time?”
He nodded, his expression somewhat perplexed. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
My thoughts became muddled as he gazed at me.
“Is something wrong?”
I shook my head and smiled nervously. “No,” I tried to sound convincing. “I’m fine.”
I could tell he was dissatisfied with my response, but he followed me into the living room without further questioning. Kate and I said goodnight to everyone, and headed to our room where I sat on the edge of the bed.
So many things were running through my mind. The biggest thing of course, I could finally admit to myself I loved Michael. Not the same way I loved Garrett or Miles, but in a way I’d never expected. Kate sat next to me, eyeing me speculatively.
“So,” she said with a slight smile. “When are you going to tell him?”
I should’ve known. Sometimes Kate knew me better than I knew myself. I laid my head on her shoulder, and she sighed impatiently.
“Are you going to tell him or not?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not sure he feels the same way, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“I understand, but it’s going to make things awkward anyway if you keep it to yourself.”