by Ally Blue
“No reason. Just idle speculation.” The tiny falsehood came out sounding stilted, but there was no help for it. As much as he valued truth in all things, there was absolutely no way Adrian was telling Chelsea the real reason for his question.
God, he could hear Christian now, accusing him of inventing reasons to end it between them. Adrian had scorned Christian’s claims at the time, but now the parallels between Erin’s behavior and his own seemed clear, and he had to wonder if Christian had been right after all. Had he been the one to destroy their relationship? And if so, had his subconscious prodded him into doing it in order to avoid telling Christian about his psychokinesis?
Adrian shook his head. He’d never believed himself capable of such things—especially without even being aware of it—but there it was. He couldn’t ignore the possibility.
At that moment, Greg crossed Adrian’s line of sight, arm in arm with a ridiculously handsome boy whose name Adrian couldn’t remember. The two had their heads close together, talking and laughing. Greg didn’t so much as glance in Adrian’s direction. Adrian tried not to watch them, but he couldn’t help following Greg with his eyes for a second before snapping his focus back to Chelsea.
He forced his face into a blandly pleasant mask. “Well. Okay, so. Erin’s on her way back with the tool kit. I think we have enough boards cut to start on a new frame before the rest of the team arrives. We’ll begin with that. Hopefully once everyone else gets here, we can finish the frames by lunchtime and start working on some of the effects after lunch. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.”
Erin walked up with the toolbox, and the three of them settled down to work. Every now and then, Chelsea would cast a thoughtful look in Greg’s direction, followed by a more calculating one at Adrian. He cringed to think of what that might mean. The last thing he wanted was a well-meaning freshman psych major interfering between him and Greg. Even if he really did unintentionally sabotage his own chances at a healthy relationship—and he had to admit the available evidence pointed in that direction—such a chance did not exist with Greg. Physical attraction didn’t provide a solid enough foundation for a relationship.
Halfway through the morning, while leaning a newly built frame against the wall, Adrian felt the back of his neck prickle. Following a gut instinct, he turned his head. Greg’s gaze locked onto his from the other side of the room.
For a few heart-stopping seconds, everything went still. Adrian’s vision tunneled. The blood whooshed in his ears. Then Greg blinked and turned away, and the world started moving again.
Adrian stood without moving and breathed, in and out, in and out, until his pulse slowed and his racing mind quieted. He hadn’t really seen the intense longing and regret he thought he’d seen in Greg’s eyes. It was just his imagination. He couldn’t allow himself to think of such things.
Shaking off the lingering memory of Greg’s lips on his skin, Adrian hefted his hammer and went back to work.
~ * ~
By the time the group stopped for lunch around one, Adrian remembered why he normally avoided being around large groups of people. Especially a bunch of theater kids who all knew each other and did not know—or, apparently, want to know—him. He hadn’t felt this out of place since the last time Christian dragged him to one of those ridiculous Mystic Society of the Scythe parties, where the level of world-weary pretentiousness was always thick enough to suck all the air from the room.
Not that these kids were at all pretentious. They weren’t. But like gazelles sensing a hyena in their midst, they tended to shy away from him in nervous clumps. Even his own team—with the notable exceptions of Chelsea and Erin—interacted with him as little as possible. He wondered why that hadn’t happened the day before. Or if it had, and he just hadn’t noticed.
A few not-so-subtle hints got the two girls to join the other kids for lunch and leave Adrian in blessed solitude. As he sat against the wall munching sausage pizza and watching Greg laugh with his friends on the other side of the room, Adrian thought he knew why he felt so particularly invisible today. For a couple of glorious, horrifying moments, he’d been wanted. Not in the general way of all the men and women who admired Adrian’s dark good looks from a distance, or the futile and ultimately sexless way Erin stared at him. No, Greg had desired him, on a very personal level. Then in the time it took for him to say no, that desire evaporated and Adrian became the same thing to Greg that he already was to everyone else—the weird science geek who never talked to anyone.
For some unfathomable reason, losing Greg’s regard left Adrian feeling bereft, lonely and awkward in this tightly knit crowd. For such a long time now, he’d successfully avoided situations that made him feel this way. Now here he was, once again the odd man out. He hated it.
A sudden wave of anger rolled through his brain like a tide. The wooden frames he and his team had just finished building rattled against the floor. A few of the other students glanced over with puzzled frowns on their faces.
Shit. Abandoning his last half-eaten slice of pizza, Adrian scrambled to his feet and crossed to the archway leading toward the back part of the house as fast as he could without drawing further attention to himself. The last thing he wanted was anyone following him upstairs this time. He needed to be alone for a while, to gain control of himself before he brought the whole damn place down around their ears.
The second he was out of the main hall, Adrian took off at a dead run toward the entrance to the tower, located at the southern corner of the castle. He took the stairs two at a time, arriving at the top breathless with a combination of exertion and fear.
Crossing the room, he threw open the window, leaned his elbows on the rough stone sill and drew the sharp October air deep into his lungs. He hadn’t experienced anything less than perfect control of his psychokinesis ever since he broke up with Christian. The fact that his control could slip even a little simply because he felt uncomfortable worried him.
“It can’t happen again,” he declared to the red, gold and orange leaves rustling outside. He couldn’t start letting his emotions get away with him. It was dangerous, not only for himself but for everyone around him.
An icy draft brushed the back of Adrian’s neck. Although there were three other windows in the thick stone wall, all of them were shut, and anyway the outside air wasn’t nearly this cold.
Keeping his movements slow and even, Adrian pushed himself upright and turned to face the apparition he knew would be there. Sure enough, Lyndon Groome’s ghost stood only inches away, regarding Adrian with eyes far too intelligent for those of a mere residual haunt. Spectral gore dripped down his translucent neck to stain a shirt and brown leather vest old-fashioned enough to have been part of a costume even at the turn of the twentieth century. Adrian hadn’t noticed that before, but he wondered about it now. Had Lyndon died during a Halloween party or something?
Lyndon’s face took on a mournful expression that made Adrian’s heart go out to him. Holding one hand palm up in front of him, Adrian let the shields restraining his psychokinesis drop enough to sense Lyndon’s spirit.
Growing up with a father who owned a paranormal investigations company, Adrian had seen his share of residual hauntings. He’d even faced down terrifying otherdimensional creatures bent on death and destruction, though not by choice. But he’d never encountered a real apparition before Lyndon. He’d certainly never made a deliberate attempt to open himself up to one. For some reason, he’d expected the experience to be unpleasant, like a blast of freezing water to the chest.
It was nothing of the sort. Instead, a pulse of warm, welcoming energy flowed through his veins to burst like fireworks in his skull.
His knees buckled. He sat down hard on the cold floor, legs sprawled out in front of him. Planting his hands behind him to brace himself against the dizziness making his head spin, Adrian tilted his head back and squinted up at the spirit hovering above him. Lyndon hadn’t moved, except to track Adrian’s undignified fall with tha
t sorrowful gaze.
“I wish I could talk to you.” Adrian had no idea what made him say that. It was the truth, though, so he had no wish to take it back.
Lyndon’s bloodless lips curved into a melancholy smile. The heat of his energy thumped through Adrian’s mind, and his heart clenched. Something told him that if Lyndon Groome were alive, the two of them would be fast friends. Maybe even more than that.
Adrian let out a soft laugh. Only he could encounter a blood-covered phantom and want to be its lover. There’s a safe object of desire for you.
The idea was sad, ludicrous and frighteningly close to the mark. Groaning, Adrian bent his knees up and dropped his forehead onto them. Was he really that pathetic? Had he truly fallen so far that he preferred the company of a ghost to that of a living, breathing human being?
He didn’t know quite what to make of the fact that his honest answer was yes.
Chapter Three
“You want to do what?”
“Would you keep it down?” Adrian cast a nervous look around the crowded hallway. A couple of passing girls laughed at Ryan’s outburst, but no one else seemed to have noticed. Grasping his classmate’s arm, Adrian steered him out the nearest set of double doors and down the steps into the afternoon sunshine. “I said, I’d like to go to your fraternity’s party tomorrow night. If the invitation’s still good, that is.”
Ryan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gaped at him. Adrian waited, clinging stubbornly to his somewhat ragged calm. Ryan was arguably the best friend Adrian had here. They shared a major and thus most of the same classes, and often talked between classes or at lunch. Still, they mingled very little socially. Approaching Ryan with this request had taken every ounce of courage Adrian possessed. But he had to try. Yesterday’s realization that he’d rather spend his time with dead people than live ones had shaken him. He’d promised himself that he’d make an effort to get out more. Meet people. Maybe even start dating again, even though the thought made his stomach churn. A frat party seemed like a logical place to start.
At least Ryan’s fraternity was an academic one. Maybe their parties would be more subdued than most.
“Yeah, of course the invitation’s still good.” Ryan gave him a sheepish grin. “Sorry. You know all the physics majors have a standing invitation. It’s just that you’ve never gone before. You kind of threw me for a loop there.”
“I know.” Relieved, Adrian smiled. “Thanks, Ryan. I really appreciate this.”
“No problem.” Ryan clapped him on the back. “Hell, it’ll be good to see you set foot outside that apartment for something other than class for a change.”
Adrian started down the sidewalk, trying to get away from the sudden tension between his shoulder blades. “I get out.”
“For what, groceries?” Ryan strode along beside him. The dried leaves crunched under his sneakers. “What you need, my friend, is to find some hot piece of tail and have yourself one glorious night of wild sex.”
Heat flooded Adrian’s face. He stared at the enormous oaks dotting the quad so he wouldn’t have to look Ryan in the eye. “Good grief. You sound like my brother.”
“Yeah? Well, clearly your brother is a wise man.” Ryan kicked a horse chestnut out of the way. It skittered off through the grass. “A couple of the guys in my house bat for your team. Want me to set you up with one of ’em?”
“No, thank you.” The words came out before Adrian even thought about it. He decided not to take them back. Yes, he needed to get out more, and this party was definitely a start. However, he knew himself well enough to know that a blind date with a frat boy was likely to push him further into his shell, not draw him out of it. Maybe a few weeks from now, he’d be ready for something like that. But not yet.
Ryan shook his head. “Too bad. Scotty’s had his eye on you, and I’m told by people who ought to know that he gives a damn fine blow job.”
The latter declaration was uttered just as the two of them approached the Pit, crowded as always with students and teachers eating lunch. Adrian groaned and hid his face in his hands as everyone within hearing distance laughed. “God, Ryan. Don’t you think you could’ve said it a little louder? I think there are a few people who didn’t quite catch that.”
“Adrian, trust me, nobody but you cares.” Ryan patted his shoulder. “I have to be at the computer lab in fifteen minutes for work study, so I’m just gonna grab a sandwich at Alpine Bagel and run. I’ll see you at the house tomorrow night, yeah?”
Adrian licked his lips and forced himself to speak. “I’ll be there.”
“Good. I’ll tell Scotty.” Grinning, Ryan turned and made his way through the crowd before Adrian could say a word.
“Great. Wonderful. Thanks.” Adrian shuffled over to the nearby steps and sat with his shoulders hunched, staring at the ground. He wished he could teleport straight to the tower room at Groome Castle. Lyndon’s silent company would be welcome right now.
Somewhere behind him, Adrian heard a male voice express the opinion that Scotty did indeed give an amazing blow job. A second man laughed. A woman told them both to shut up. Adrian tuned out all three of them and breathed quietly until the knot in his gut eased and the burn of humiliation cooled from his cheeks.
Slipping the strap of his laptop bag onto his shoulder, Adrian pushed to his feet. He had just enough time to eat before his last class of the day. After that, he had a couple of hours free before he was supposed to be at Groome Castle. The theater group had made plans to meet there at one, but Adrian was exempt from that since he was on work study and so could only work a certain number of hours at the haunted house.
Guilt tugged at Adrian’s insides as he strode across the Pit to the dining hall. A great deal of work remained to be done in order to get the Castle ready for its haunted house debut on Friday night. There was no rule saying Adrian couldn’t volunteer his time toward that goal if he wanted. The truth was, being around Greg after yesterday’s debacle had made Adrian feel at once horribly conspicuous and utterly insignificant, and he dreaded feeling that way again.
On the other hand, there’s always the tower. You could go early. Sneak upstairs, quiet your mind for a while. Maybe visit with Lyndon.
That, even more than the fear of Greg’s mocking gray eyes, convinced Adrian to wait. After all, that was the whole reason he’d gone to Ryan in the first place—to drag himself back into the world of the living. He’d become far too set in his solitary ways. He had to fix that, and hiding in the Groome Castle tower with a ghost wouldn’t fix anything. Maybe a frat party would help and maybe it wouldn’t, but it couldn’t hurt.
At least, Adrian hoped not.
Of course it won’t. Just stay away from Scotty and his magical blow jobs.
Adrian snorted. A normal guy would seek out a person who’d expressed an interest in giving him oral sex, not avoid him. Then again, Adrian had never been normal. He’d learned to accept his own idiosyncrasies, for the most part. He saw nothing wrong with holding out for a man who accepted him as he was.
The fact that his mind went straight to a man who’d been dead for over one hundred years strengthened Adrian’s resolve. He would go to this damned party, and he’d have fun if it killed him.
Thus decided, Adrian pushed all thoughts of the next night to the back of his mind, along with those of Greg, Lyndon and men in general. He had plenty of schoolwork to keep his brain occupied. At least physics never made him feel awkward, or sick with dread, or aching with unfulfilled need. Equations for his paper started clicking into place in his head, and he entered the dining hall with a smile on his face.
~ * ~
Thirty-something hours later, Adrian sat wedged between a giggling sorority girl and the unexpectedly suave Scotty on Sigma Pi Sigma’s stylish brown leather sofa, nursing a whiskey and soda and wondering why he’d ever thought this was a good idea.
Not that the party was objectionable, exactly, or the company less than engaging. In fact, Adrian had met more people in the
past hour and a half than he had in the entire three years he’d been at Chapel Hill, and most of those people had been quite friendly.
Some more than others, he thought as Scotty slid close enough to press their bodies together. Adrian eased another inch to his left, enough to put some space between them. If he had to move again, he’d end up plastered against the girl sitting next to him, but he didn’t know what else to do. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t be rude to anyone tonight. However, as Sean always told him, he didn’t possess the tact gene. So how was he supposed to extract himself from this situation?
“So. Adrian.” Scotty twisted his upper body toward Adrian. His arm rested along the back of the sofa behind Adrian in a move a little too casual to be real. “How do you feel about Thai food?”
Adrian stared into Scotty’s big, dark, admittedly sexy eyes. They held the same hunger Greg’s had that morning at Groome Castle. For a moment, Adrian’s neck tingled with the memory of Greg’s lips on his skin. He swallowed. “Thai? It’s all right.”
“Mmm.” Scotty’s fingertips traced the curve of Adrian’s shoulder in a slow caress that made Adrian’s skin spark. He bit back a moan, remembering the slide of Greg’s hand over the small of his back. “How about Thai food in bed?”
The breath froze in Adrian’s lungs. “What?”
“Come on, you heard me.” Dipping his head, Scotty planted a light, openmouthed kiss on Adrian’s neck. “I have leftover Pad Thai from Penang in my fridge. Let’s heat it up and have a private party in my room, huh?” His hand slid up Adrian’s thigh, dangerously close to the rising hardness in his jeans. “I’d love to wind some of those noodles around your cock and suck ’em off.”
The heat simmering in Adrian’s belly vanished like fog in the sunshine. Shoving Scotty’s hand away, he jumped to his feet. “That sounds very, um, interesting, but I have to go.”