by Dyan Sheldon
TUESDAY 1 MAY
I gave Ms Staples my story today. It’s over TEN PAGES. Ms Staples said no wonder it took me so long to write. I said I KNOW how busy she is and all (apparently teachers, like whales, are an endangered species!!!), but I would REALLY appreciate it if she could read it as soon as she has a chance. Now that my creativity has been turned on, it needs FEEDBACK. Ms Staples said she’d do her best.
WEDNESDAY 2 MAY
I’d like to think that the new Jocelyn Bandry owes something to me and the Dark Phase. I mean, it’s possible, isn’t it? She saw me struggling to live deeply and meaningfully and she was inspired. She looked at her own life and she saw its shallowness and triviality, and she was finally ready to face the pain and remake herself. The Dark Phase has DEFINITELY affected Disha. I have always known that I will never have a better friend than Disha Paski – not if I live to be a MILLION (though, really, who would want to?) – but now she has surpassed herself. How? I hear you ask. And this is how. To stop my torment Disha took direct action. She just came right out and asked Calum if Elvin was interested in me or not. Calum said or not. Disha said she was wondering because Elvin had sort of made a play for me, and Calum said, “Oh, that.” D wanted to know oh what. Turns out Elvin was hoping that if he got friendly with me he could get Justin to help him with his film. My only consolation is that Elvin’s stupid film is also the reason he was cooing round Catriona. Because of her father. He was hoping he could get it on telly. I’m DEVASTATED! Mine is a trusting nature. I can’t believe someone could be so duplicitous. Disha says well, live and learn – that’s what life’s all about, isn’t it? (She really has MATURED!!!)
THURSDAY 3 MAY
NOTHING lasts for ever, that’s the truth. Last week I was a motherless child, and now I’m a fatherless one. Sigmund moved out tonight, although, as Justin says, it isn’t as if he’s gone FAR. He’s got a flat in Kentish Town. The MC’s saying this is a trial separation, but Sigmund couldn’t have been halfway up the road before she was rearranging their bedroom. Already the living standards have risen. There’s bog roll in the bathroom and we had meatballs and spaghetti for supper. It wasn’t as bad as I remember, but that could just be because I’ve been on the Sigmund Bandry Starvation Diet. Now that Elvin has proved not to be a Man of Principles but a Snake in the Grass of Love, I’ve started eating meat again. I mean, really, why not?
Flynn rang tonight to see if I wanted to go to a film on Saturday night. I said yes. He said just you and me, right? I said of course. At least I know that Flynn is an honest person and interested in ME – not my brother. And also (since I’m not COMMITTED to anyone yet) I’ve already arranged to go ice-skating on Sunday with Marcus.
FRIDAY 4 MAY
I AM DEFINITELY ON MY CREATIVE WAY!!! Ms Staples was v impressed with my story. She says it’s funny, insightful and ORIGINAL. She even wants to publish it in the school magazine. She did say we’ll have to sit down and discuss it IN DEPTH, of course. She says she still feels I have a problem with implausible plots. I said it’s not MY problem – it’s LIFE’S.
PLANET JANET
Dyan Sheldon is the author of many books for young people, including Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen; And Baby Makes Two; The Crazy Things Girls Do for Love; and My Worst Best Friend; as well as a number of stories for younger readers. American by birth, Dyan lives in North London.
First published 2002 by Walker Books Ltd
87 Vauxhall Walk, London SE11 5HJ
Text © 2002 Dyan Sheldon
Cover illustration © 2002 Andrew Griffin
The right of Dyan Sheldon to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, taping and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data: a catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-4063-3937-6 (ePub)
www.walkerbooks.co.uk