I stared up at him, and our eyes met. “I shouldn’t have done this.” He shook his head, gripped my elbow, and nearly dragged me outside.
My stomach clenched as he walked too fast for me to keep up in heels. I pulled free from his grasp and stopped on the sidewalk. “If you wanted to back out, I really wish you’d have told me before I drove all this way to see you.”
“It’s not that,” he said, his frown flipping to a smile. “You’ve got it all wrong.”
Chapter 9
Decker
Old habits are hard to break, but Hannah deserved better. The minute the hostess said hello, I realized what a mistake I’d made.
Standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I reached for her hands. She eyed me warily before she let me hold them. “I want tonight to be special.” I looked toward the restaurant entrance. “That place isn’t special.”
She looked over her shoulder toward the door. “It seemed pretty special to me.”
“It’s okay, but it’s not for you.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and moved her toward my SUV. “Trust me?” I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. I couldn’t blame her for putting her guard up. So far I had a pretty bad track record with this girl.
“Trust isn’t something I give easily.”
“I promise to earn yours.” I opened the door to the passenger side of the Range Rover and helped Hannah inside. “I want to take you somewhere that is special to me. Someplace I’ve never shared with anyone.”
The skepticism in her pale blue eyes was replaced by a glint of happiness.
When I climbed into the driver’s seat, she asked, “Is this your car?” She turned in the seat to look behind her.
Thankfully I’d had it detailed this morning. My normal collection of coffee cups and candy wrappers was gone.
“Yes, well, it’s actually a company car.”
“You said you work for a broker, right?”
I couldn’t believe she still didn’t know who I was. There were few in this world that didn’t know what being Rip Riley’s son meant. It was such a thrill to be out with a girl who didn’t know who I was or what I had.
“Yes, I work for my father. He’s a broker, and I’m a real estate agent working on my broker license.”
“Is that why you didn’t want to take me to Dushanbe? Is that where you take your clients?”
How did I tell her the truth? There was something real and pure about Hannah that attracted me. She showed me her vulnerabilities as well as her big-heartedness. I wanted to see where we could take this new relationship. I knew it would not survive if we started it with a thread of dishonesty.
I lowered my voice as if someone else besides us could hear my shame. “No. It’s where I take all my dates, and you deserve something better.” I waited for her to lash out the way most girls would, but she didn’t. She sat back and stared out the window.
“Do you prefer Decker or Dex? I’ve heard both.”
“I answer to both, so whatever works.” My friends called me Dex, but I liked the way my given name rolled off her tongue. “About the restaurant, are you angry at me?”
She certainly had a right to be. I’d invited her to a specific place, and like a crazy, possessed lunatic, I shoved her into my car and took off in another direction.
She shifted her body to face me. The smell of her perfume or lotion or shampoo wafted through the air. She smelled like fresh-picked strawberries.
“Angry…no. Curious…yes.” She rested her head against the seat back, her blonde hair a stark contrast to the black leather interior. “So you have a lot of first dates?”
I wanted to reach into my mouth and rip out my tongue or dig farther back and extract my vocal cords so nothing else could come out of my mouth.
“I’m not proud to say I’ve had my share of first dates. What I can say is, I’ve never been as excited to go on a date as I am for this one.”
A soft lilting giggle filled the interior. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“Totally not true.” I turned onto the highway and headed toward Golden. “Can I confess something to you?” I asked. A quick glance in her direction was rewarded with her smile.
“It’s only our first date. Are you sure we’re ready for confessions? Maybe we should find a priest or someone better suited to listen to your sins.”
“I’m pretty sure what I have to say doesn’t fall into the sin category. Not yet anyway.” I’d had some pretty sinful visions of Hannah already. Hannah naked. Hannah naked and riding me. Hannah and those full pink lips sucking me into her mouth.
I shook those thoughts from my head. “That conversation we had back in the diner—I’ve never done that before. I’ve never known a girl who didn’t want something from me. You don’t even know who I am, let alone that I have everything I do.” I pulled into the parking lot of a little hole-in-the-wall called The Dive and killed the engine. “I could be wrong, but I get the feeling that none of that matters to you.”
“Who are you?” She looked at me like I was a puzzle. Like somehow I was a piece she couldn’t find a place for. I hoped I could change her mind.
I shrugged. “I’m just Decker. The guy who can’t ride a motorcycle or stop stepping on his tongue.” I opened the door and raced to her side of the Rover. When I opened it, I said, “Just give me a chance.”
She hopped out and offered her hand. I supposed that was her way of saying yes.
“Where are we?” She looked left and right at what seemed the most unlikely place to take a date.
“My favorite place in the world.” And I wanted to share it with her. “You’ll be the first woman I’ve ever brought here.”
She read the sign and laughed. “It’s a real dive.”
“The sign doesn’t lie, but it’s the little hole-in-the-wall places that are the best.”
“I don’t know. The Diner is a dive, but it’s the only gig in town, so no one has much choice.”
I set my hand on her lower back and walked her to the door. “The pie was good. The company was better.”
“Are you flirting with me?”
“Is it working?” When the door opened, the smell of savory dishes floated past us.
“Yes, it’s kind of working.” She stopped in the doorway. “Although I was excited to go to Dushanbe. I’d never been there, and I love tea.”
“I’ll make it up to you.” The place had open seating, and I scoped out a private table in the corner. I wanted to share this place with Hannah, but I didn’t want to share Hannah with anyone else.
“Does that mean we’ll have a second date?” She took a seat, and I pulled a chair next to her.
“There is no doubt in my mind.” Hannah was a cool girl, a real girl who probably wouldn’t fit in with the stuffy people my father would have me surround myself with … and that was just fine by me. Hannah made me feel like I could be myself.
A shadow crossed the table. “Decker, how’s it going?” Tanner walked up to me and slapped me on the back, but his eyes were on Hannah. “Who do we have here?” Even though my best friend was old enough to be her father, a bolt of jealousy surged through me. I didn’t want anyone to look at Hannah. As far as I was concerned, she was already mine.
“Tanner, this is my date, Hannah.” Her hand sat on the table, and I covered it with mine. It was a total caveman move to claim her, but it didn’t seem to bother her. In fact, her smile bloomed.
“Nice to meet you.” She gave him a cursory glance and turned her attention back to me. My chest swelled, knowing she had eyes only for me.
“You want the regular?” Tanner asked. His brows lifted to disappear under his bangs.
“Yep, bring us two. Hannah’s decided to give me a chance.” I leaned back and took a look around the place. It was everything I needed it to be. Comfortable and down to earth.
“He’s a smart bet.”
“Are you?” Hannah asked.
I left my hand over hers because it felt right. “A smart bet
? It depends on who you talk to.”
Tanner leaned over the table like he was telling a secret. “I wouldn’t have any of this without him. Kind of amazing considering how we met.” He turned and walked back to the kitchen, leaving me alone to explain.
“What does that mean?”
It was times like these when the world felt like it was crashing down on me. One moment I had something good within my grasp, and the next it might be gone.
I stared into Hannah’s eyes. Blue pools full of concern and compassion looked back at me. She’d left school for something or someone. Something told me she had a story to tell, and it might be worse than mine. I thought about the twelve steps I’d traveled to get this place—a place of truth, perseverance, and forgiveness.
“It means I have something I need to tell you.”
Chapter 10
Hannah
I pulled my hand out from under his. It had felt so nice until the moment his words raced through my head like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. Nipping at my hope of ever finding a decent guy.
When someone started off by saying I need to tell you something, it never ended well. And here I was, trapped with this man who was probably going to tell me he was the baby daddy of a dozen kids. I mean, he did ’fess up to having a lot of first dates.
Just when I’d thought karma was going to stop being a stubborn vindictive bitch, she slapped me upside my head again.
I straightened to my full, seated height, which was roughly collarbone level to Decker. “I guess I’m ready.” It wasn’t like I had much choice. He’d driven. I was stuck listening to whatever he said until he drove me back or I caught a cab I couldn’t afford.
He laughed like somehow destroying my dreams was funny. “I’m not a criminal.”
“A criminal I can handle, just don’t tell me you’re married or you have a horde of kids shoved in the back of your Rover waiting for leftovers.”
At the mention of leftovers, Tanner appeared with our plates. Another perfectly timed distraction.
“What we have here is what we call the Dexner. It’s an open-faced burger drowned in green chili and cheese.” He pushed two sodas in front of us. “You’ll need this to put out the five-alarm fire.”
Tanner disappeared. Decker reached out and took my hand, ignoring the food that sat in front of us. His touch was distracting, and maybe that was his plan. If I wasn’t paying attention, maybe I’d miss the part where he told me he boiled people and made them into green chili for this meal.
His thumbs brushed over my knuckles, and a ribbon of heat wrapped around my traitorous body.
He cleared his throat as if making room for words. “I asked you to trust me, but I haven’t been completely honest. Not because I intended to keep anything from you, but because I wanted to tell you in a place where I found strength and comfort.”
“Am I going to have to call a cab?”
“I hope not.”
I picked up my fork and cut off the tiniest bite. The flavors burst on my tongue. “Oh, my God, this is so good. It might be worth hearing you’re a serial killer just to have tasted this meal.” I slapped my hand over my mouth. “I didn’t mean for that to come out.”
Decker’s eyes were as wide as a picture window. “I told you I wasn’t a criminal.”
I took a sip of the soda to cut the heat. “Neither was Hannibal Lecter until he was caught.”
Decker laughed so hard he doubled over. “You are the most amazing woman I’ve met. I’m about to tell you something that could be a deal-breaker, and you tell a joke.”
“I always joke when I’m nervous.” I took another bite to keep my mouth busy, so I didn’t blurt out anything else.
“I’m an alcoholic and an addict.” He lowered his head as if the shame was too heavy to bear.
I tossed my fork to the table. “Seriously?” Decker looked like such a put-together guy. Still, I was relieved that this was his big confession; I’d become a regular Addicts-Are-Us representative, with my first client being my mother.
“Part of my recovery is to be honest with myself and those around me.”
“I was certain you’d tell me you had a harem or something worse.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a hug.
He pulled back enough to look into my face. “I just told you I’m an addict, and you hugged me. What’s that about?”
“Addicts need love too.” I cupped his face and let my fingers linger over the dark shadow of scruff. “I can handle addiction. I do every day of my life. What I can’t handle is abuse. Physical. Verbal. It’s all a non-starter for me.”
His fingers brushed through my hair. “Are you an addict too?” Sadness dulled his soft blue eyes.
I shook my head. “No, my mother is. I left school to take care of her.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. It wasn’t meant to be sexual, but supportive, and I appreciated it.
“I’m so sorry, but I can probably help. I’ve been there. Has she been to a program? Does she have a sponsor?” There was so much sincerity in his words.
“No, she’s a self-help girl that’s failing miserably, and I feel like I’m failing too.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “You can’t make her stop. She has to want that for herself.”
I wanted him to kiss me again, but I also wanted to hear more of his story, and the need to listen was stronger than anything else.
“Enough about me. Tell me your story.”
His eyes held mine for a long minute. Every disappointment. Every pain. Every sorrow. They all shone like beacons in the depth of his eyes. “I don’t know where it began.” He forked a bite of his meal and savored it slowly. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt out of place.” He talked between bites, and I watched him. The way his body moved with each emotion. The thick set of his lips. The stiffness in his shoulders.
“I know what that feels like. I don’t fit in many places.” My gut twisted at the honesty in that statement. I’d always felt like the left shoe on a right foot.
“You’re perfect. You fit right here next to me. I knew it that night at the diner.”
How was it that this guy who was everything I shouldn’t like could say the right things and make me like him? “You’re flirting again. I think your sober partner would call that deflection.”
“We can ask him.” He raised his hand to get Tanner’s attention.
I swatted his hand down, not wanting anyone else to join us. “Later. Tell me your story.”
Decker pushed his half-eaten plate away and leaned back. He never let go of my hand. It was like he needed my touch for support. “It’s like I don’t belong where I am,” he sighed. “Like I’m living in the wrong skin. If that even makes any sense.”
“More than you know.” I twirled the melted cheese around my fork and plopped it into my mouth.
His eyes drifted to the bar where Tanner fixed drinks. “Tanner saved my life, and in return, I financed The Dive. It’s the best non-alcoholic bar around.”
I took in the surrounding room. It did seem to resemble a tavern. There was the typical wooden bar and stools, but behind it was a selection of soda that couldn’t be rivaled. Drinks from Bubble Up to Seven Up and everything in between. The place was packed, and not one alcoholic beverage was being served. I hadn’t noticed that until he pointed it out.
“You financed this place?” I knew enough to know that a place like this took some cash. “How did you come up with the money?”
“I’m good at selling property.” The words came out indifferent. Emotionally vacant.
“I’m going to have to bring my mother here.” She didn’t go out much because she was usually drunk or stoned, but when she had sober days, she didn’t venture out because the temptation was too strong. “It’s a safe place.”
Decker smiled. “This place is home.” He finished his drink and paid our bill. “Are you ready to go?”
I was ready to leave the restaurant, but not ready to leav
e Decker. He’d been honest with me, and I’d be honest with him and tell him the truth. It might not be my place to do so, and it might be hard to hear, but this man was obviously in pain. I couldn’t stand the idea of there being a place in the world that would embrace him, and him not knowing about it.
“Can we take a walk? I have something to tell you.”
“Is this where you kidnap me and hold me for ransom?”
“Are you worth that much?”
“You have no idea.”
I threaded my fingers through his. “No, I don’t, and I don’t care.”
We walked along the footpath that wound through the woods behind The Dive. Since Decker was part owner and a regular visitor, he clearly knew the place like it was his backyard.
“Tell me your story,” he said.
My story was not the reason that I asked for the walk and for more time. It was his story that needed to be told. His truth needed to be set free, but if he was going to be honest with me, I’d need to be honest with him.
“You know my mom’s an addict. You know I dropped out of school.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.” The fallen pine needles absorbed the sound of our footsteps, and we walked silently forward. “Your mom has to come to terms with her life, and you have to live yours.”
“My mom wasn’t the only one to consider. I have a sister. Stacey is in college too. I couldn’t let my mom be homeless, and I couldn’t ask Stacey to drop out and help me. One of us deserves a good life.”
“You can both have a good life.” He stopped and turned toward me. “I know it sounds selfish, but sometimes you need to take care of yourself first.”
Those were Mona’s words delivered differently. “I’ve been a selfish person more times than not. I’m trying to be a better person, but most of the time I feel like a side character in a story where everyone but me gets to live the lives they want.”
His hands went to my shoulders. His lips covered my mouth. At the first touch, I was lost, consumed by a fire that skittered along my nerve endings. My heart rate climbed as the kiss heated and deepened. There was one soaring moment of bliss before he pulled back. It was a heart-stopping plunge from the highest mountain peak.
Delivering Decker Page 6