by Shan
I began to cough uncontrollably as I hit the corner and jumped on 75 Central, heading back South. Thankfully, the freeway was lit with traffic, and we were able to drive without getting caught behind any cars.
"It's a long story, and, right now, I just want you to get us the fuck outta here!" Rain screamed as she looked over her shoulder and into the rear view mirror before buckling her seat belt.
"I wanna…"
Once again, I began to cough, but, this time, droplets of blood shot out of my mouth and onto the steering wheel and dashboard. I reached down and touched my stomach and felt a sticky moisture seep through the front of my shirt.
"Oh, my God! Baby, you've been hit!" Rain stated, panicked.
"I'm good. It's just a flesh wound," I lied, feeling blood ooze from the wound in my stomach each time I spoke a word. "I want to know what the hell you did and if it’s something I can get you out of."
Rain looked over her shoulder once again and then turned her attention back to me, "I don't see anyone following us. Let’s go to a hospital, Imran. You don't sound good."
"You stole from him, huh?" I asked before switching all the way over to the fast lane.
"I didn't steal anything. I told you I've been clean. They believe I did something I didn't do."
"And what do they believe you did?"
Rain crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head in shame. I spotted a trace of tears in the corner of her eyes and reached over to grab her hand. "Talk to me," I requested gently. "I just got shot over this shit, so talk to me and tell me what's up."
"Okay, but you gotta believe me when I say that I didn't do anything."
"A'ight." I smashed down on the gas hitting ninety miles per hour and listened as Rain filled me in on why she had a bunch of dread head niggas trying to kill her.
25 Honey
Sitting in the bathroom of the Holiday Inn, I silently watched as Quin dragged Jahzara into the room against her will. Surprisingly, he came back with her in hand instead of empty handed like I had expected him to do when he left. We thought about every angle that we could to get some paper up out of Imran, and, the best thing we came up with was to Jahzara and see if that nigga really loved her ass. It was a farfetched idea, seeing as how she had left Imran and come back to Quin, and, from what I heard, gave up the residential to Imran’s crib. Hopefully, the nigga still had some type of love for that bitch and was willing to payout to save her life. Honestly, I didn’t care whether or not he saved her or not, I truly wanted to beat her ass down one last time—but, this time, I wanted her dead.
“Quin, untie my damn hands! You into kidnapping muthafuckas now!” Jahzara yelled with a look of disgust on her face.
“This is what my life has resulted to since I’ve been home, Jahzara. Robbing muthafuckas for whatever I can to eat. Now, I’m kidnapping disloyal bitches for ransom. How the fuck you in my bed one night and in his the next? When did you become such a dumb fucking whore, Jahzara?” Quin bellowed.
He stood over Jahzara and looked as if he wanted to spit in her face for all the shit she had done to him. Ever since I’d been with him, he had complained about the way things played out for the two of them and how hurt he was that Jahzara had betrayed him and gave his life away to his sworn enemy. Each time I heard him speak her name, I boil over in pain and wanted to throw up. That was how sick the worthless bitch made me. Even looking at her now made me green with damn envy, and I hated when another bitch made me feel as though I wasn’t good enough to walk in her shoes.
“Quin, it’s time you let this beef with Imran go! Things have gone too far. You almost killed somebody when you burned his house down!” Jahzara cried.
“Shut the fuck up!” Quin snapped.
I giggled silently and reached over to grab a cigarette from the pack that was sitting on the bathroom cabinet. Quickly I lit the tip of the cancer stick, took a long puff, and blew out a cloud of smoke. The disastrous and frightening look on Jahzara’s face brought me nothing but pure pleasure. Seeing her helpless and scared out of her damn mind reminded me of the night that I was in control of her destiny. It reminded me that, maybe, if I had killed Jahzara the moment that she walked in, that Tomeka would still be here. Instead, Jahzara’s stuck up-ass parents would’ve buried her. I took another puff off my square and smoothly exited the bathroom, feeling my insides ignite with gratification with each step that I took. It wasn’t until I got closer that Jahzara noticed me, and, instantly, a stream of tears flooded her eyes, pouring down like thick raindrops on a stormy night.
“No grite al bebe. Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay.”
“Fuckin’ bitch! I knew it! I can’t fuckin’ believe you, Quin! You’ve been planning to do this shit all along, huh?” Jahzara spat vehemently.
“Nah, I planned to start over with you and hoped to have a nice fuckin’ life this time around, but you fucked that up when you took my shit and went back to that nigga!” Quin spat, and I rolled my eyes when I heard him tell her that he planned to have a nice life with her.
Most of his letters to me talked about how he appreciated me and how he knew that, no matter what I did, I would always stay true to myself and how he wanted a chick like me. He really had me thinking that he would wife me when he touched down, but that dream sadly took an alternate ending when I found Jahzara in his bed the first time I crept into his home. It wasn’t the first time a dude had falsely sold me the world only to leave me broken down and angry that I had even believed it in the first place.
“I didn’t take anything from you, and I went back to him because that’s where I should’ve been. I wish had never left him!” Jahzara shouted, snapping me from my reverie.
Quin smacked Jahzara with the back of his hand and begun to pace the floor. I knelt down in front of Jahzara and smiled inside, knowing that I was the one that took that bag from Quin. I rubbed my hand on Jahzara’s thigh and was stunned with a hard blow to the side of my head. She shot up from her seat and ran towards the door, but she was pulled down to the ground by her hair. Quin placed her in a bear hug and carried her over to the other side of the room. I slowly stood to my feet, shook off the dizziness I felt, and trotted in her direction. Quin caught my fist midair and pushed me onto the bed, where he held my arms down and stared into my eyes.
“That’s not what we are doing this for. Let’s get this paper first and afterwards… I don’t care what you do with the bitch,” Quin barked before releasing my arms.
I shot up from the bed and stared at Jahzara with fire shooting from my eyes. I was beginning to become very impatient and wanted like crazy to get this shit over with. Quin might have wanted the money, but I wanted to cause Jahzara a lot of pain and suffering.
26 Jahzara
My chest rose and fell at an enormous pace when I saw Quin and Honey together. I should have known that the relationship between the two was more than a few casual fucks as Quin had said. It all made perfect sense to me now. He was so quick to have papers for divorce drawn up by a lawyer based off whatever Honey had told him and only a person that was so smitten over another person would believe a lie. He didn’t even question me. He could’ve written me and asked me the truth or waited for me to visit. Instead, he took her word for it. Now that I saw the two of them standing before me, plotting, and scheming with each other, I knew that it was way more than what Quin led me to believe. This fact alone made me regret, more and more, that I had turned down Imran’s proposal and that I given up his address because I felt bad for leaving Quin. I hoped that, one day, Imran would forgive me and see that I had made a terrible mistake at a time when tragedy and false realities had completely altered my mind.
“Listen up real closely, Jahzara. Make sure you understand everything that I say to you because I would hate to have to fuck you up for fucking this up for me,” Quin sighed as he stepped in front of me and knelt down so that we were eye to eye.
Looking into his brown eyes, I was immediately taken back to the time we had spent together bef
ore he went to jail. He might not have known how to love me in the right way, but all I felt for him back then was pure admiration. I never suspected that he was cheating on me, and I never once felt that he didn’t love me. I don’t understand how I’d missed all of that. How did I not know that my husband was sleeping with my best friend? Maybe Honey had been right about me all along. Quin showered me with nice things whenever he was able to and that alone made me think that he would do anything in the world for me. It definitely had me believing that my relationship was perfect and couldn’t be penetrated by another bitch in the least bit. Boy was I wrong.
“Oh, she better not fuck this up,” Honey smirked and took a puff from her cigarette.
“I need you to call Imran up and let him know where you’re at. Tell him that you’re at a hotel and that you need him to come through to help you figure things out. Tell him that I called you to let you know that I had folks tied up and shit like that, and we’ll handle the rest from there,” Quin said laying out his plan to me.
“He’s not going to come, Quin. He has another girlfriend and doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore,” I said, hoping that it would get Quin to leave this dumb shit alone, but seeing Quin’s bright skin turn red let me know that he wasn’t trying to hear that at all.
“Make everything believable so that he will come, Jahzara! All this shit is your fuckin’ fault and you need to fix it!”
“Ain’t nothing my damn fault! Turn your fucking head around and look at the bitch that caused you to drive a hole in our marriage. I’m getting sick of you trying to put this shit on me and not stepping up to take responsibility for your actions! I’m not doing shit! You want Imran? You get him over here your damn self! I yelled and repeatedly shook my head in refusal.
“Look Jahzara, I understand that you are heated right now, but please don’t let your mouth and stupidity cause more problems than it already has,” Quin calmly stated.
“Really? Is this how we’re doing this, Quin? She just said that she will not be calling this fool up, and you get all lovey dovey with her? What the hell? Fuck her ass up, or I will!” Honey shouted.
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Quin as if she was waiting for him to follow through with her command. Quin looked back at Honey and stood up completely before walking away from him. I could see that he was completely frustrated, but, this time, I didn’t care. Quin was not about to get me to make another mistake that could possibly cost Imran his life, and, if I had to pay for my previous mistakes in order to save him, I would.
“You’re one jealous-ass bitch. You are so fucking jealous that you had to go after your best friends’ men. So fucking jealous that you were too blind to see that anything I had I would’ve given to you,” I smugly stated.
“Even your husband? That’s what I really wanted, but— Hell!— we fucked so much that I actually thought he was mine,” Honey boasted, and her statement penetrated my heart deeply, but I refused to let it show.
“Yeah, why not? If he was nasty enough to fuck you, then why the hell would I want to keep him?”
Smack!
Honey punched me so hard that she caused my head to snap back. Once I recovered, I spit a mouthful of blood right between her eyes. She brought her hand up to hit me once again, but Quin grabbed her and practically tossed her lil ass across the room.
"Put the old biddy on the phone ‘cause the O.G. run his mouth too much for me," Quin said into the receiver of his phone. He placed the phone on speaker and kneeled down to my level.
"Hello?" I heard my mother's voice and, immediately, tried to get at Quin. Why did he have to bring them into this shit once again? It was enough that he and Imran had shot up their damn streets. Now, this? My parents had nothing to do with their beef.
“Mommy,” I cried out.
“Tell your daughter to cooperate! I don’t wanna have to hurt you two or her, but I will!” Quin spoke into the receiver with his eyes focused on mine.
I didn’t know this person that stood before me and couldn’t believe that I was once married to him. Never once did I think he would subject my family and me to such harshness, and all because of a little money.
“Don’t worry about us, Jahzara! Don’t you do anything you don’t wanna do! We will be okay because we walk with God!” my mama yelled through the shakiness in her voice.
Her and my daddy believed in God so much that they were so out of touch with reality. Quin apparently had someone holding my parents hostage, and, if I didn’t make a call to Imran, then there was no telling what would happen to them. I didn’t want that for them. They didn’t do anything wrong, and all this mess had happened because of a train of errors made by me, starting with taking Quin’s work and introducing Imran to Tamar. “Jahzara, are you okay?”
“Yes, Mommy. I’m okay,” I said loud enough for her to hear me. “Hang up, Quin. I’ll call him.”
“Pee Wee, I’ll get back to you. Hold tight.”
Quin hung the phone up and reached into his pocket to pull out my cell phone that he had taken from me. “You better do whatever it is you gotta do to get him to come. I don’t care if he’s fucking with you or not.”
I rolled my eyes and waited for Quin to untie one of my hands, so I could make this dreadful call to Imran. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to in order to keep my parents alive. Had it just been my life at stake, I would’ve taken whatever Quin and Honey had for me before I set Imran up. I’d made too many mistakes with him already and hated that this would be yet another reason for him to hate me.
“Damn! Where the fuck are you? What’s going on, Jahzara? I’ve been blowing you up,” Imran answered between grunts.
“Oh, my god! What’s wrong with you?” I asked, noticing that he didn’t sound like himself.
“Is you good? Your car was still at the hotel, and—”
“They got my parents, Imran! I don’t know what to do, and I really need your help!”
“Your parents? What the fuck for?”
I looked up at Quin and saw him mouthing the word “money”.
“For money. It’s all about money to him. Ever since he came home, and I just don’t know what to do. Can you please come? I need your help figuring things out.”
There was a long pause on the phone before I heard Imran coughing uncontrollably and heard that bitch Rain in the background telling Imran to hang up the phone. As much as I wanted to curse that hoe out for telling him to hang up, I knew this was not the time to do so, and I was more than worried about the way that Imran was sounding.
“Let me get back to you, Jah. I got some major shit going on right now.”
“Okay, but do you know if you’re going to come or not? I really need you, Imran.”
“I’ll let you know if I'ma be able to come through,” Imran said before the call went dead.
27 Imran
“I’ll let you know if I'ma be able to come through,” I said and hung up the phone with Jah. Everything about that call sounded like a set up, but it didn’t stop me for wanting to reach out and help her.
“Imran, you have to be still. This isn’t no lightweight shit,” Kira said as she moved some type of instrument inside of the wound that was located in my stomach.
“I can tell it isn’t any lightweight shit! You ain’t have anything to numb it, Kira? Damn!” I yelled out.
This wasn’t the first time I’d been shot, but I didn't remember it feeling anything like this. The pain in my gut felt like thousands of needles had been set on fire and shoved into my flesh.
"No, you need to be in the hospital, but I'm going to do the best I can until you get there."
"Do that and give me whatever you got for pain." I looked down at my phone and then up at Rain who was firing holes through me with her eyes.
Sleeping with her had been a huge mistake. The jealousy and insecurities she felt because of my love for Jahzara was beginning to be a huge problem.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
; "What did she want, Imran?" Rain asked, shifting her weight from one foot to another.
"Rain, we fucked one time! We are not in a relationship!" I yelled and went into another coughing fit.
"Every time she calls, you gonna go running? She told that dude where you lived at and almost had me killed, Imran! Look at what happened to me because of her!" Rain yelled, pointing at the burns on her arms.
Seeing that immediately caused me to hold my head down in shame. She was right. Had it not been for Jahzara's actions, then I probably would have still been at home, and Rain definitely wouldn’t have those permanent scars. At the same time as Kira picked at my wound, if I wouldn't have helped her, I wouldn't be going through this. She forgot that she had come to me for help after she stole a brick from my stash and sold it to get high off of for three days straight. She had me running through the streets of Dallas blaming everyone for something she had done. I lost friends and a few street soldiers behind her addiction. If anybody could understand why I felt I wanted to help Jahzara after she wronged me, it should be Rain.