by Erika Rhys
46
AVA
Late Saturday afternoon, I was sitting at my worktable at Oasis, playing around with a floral centerpiece that I intended to propose to one of my new clients for her wedding reception. Vases of pink roses and carnations, larger crème roses, and delicate pale-pink limonium surrounded me, and discarded stem fragments and leaves littered my work area.
I was debating the merits of adding more limonium to the centerpiece when someone knocked on my door. “Come in,” I called, reaching for a cloth to dry my hands. “It’s open.”
When the door opened, and Ronan appeared, I wasn’t entirely surprised. He was nothing if not persistent in pursuing whatever he wanted, and when I’d moved out of our apartment, he’d made it clear that he didn’t want me to leave.
In jeans and his leather bomber jacket, he was as devastatingly handsome as ever, and I steeled myself to resist an attempt to sweet-talk me into the kind of relationship he’d wanted all along. No real promises, no lasting commitments. Nothing like that. Knowing Ronan, he’d no doubt ask me again to give him time.
Which I’d already given him. Hell, I’d continued living with him for almost a full month after his father’s death until I felt certain that the worst of his shock and grief had passed. I’d never loved a man as deeply as I loved him; his rejection had crushed me in ways that nothing else ever had, and right up until the moment I walked out the door of the apartment we had shared for the past few months, part of me had hoped that he’d stop me, take me in his arms, and tell me that he loved me.
But that romantic fantasy was dead. In its wake, I was determined to move on with my life, and the next step in that process was ending my marriage to him.
“Hi, Ava,” he said, before closing the door and facing me. “We need to talk.”
“We do,” I said. “Did you get the divorce papers I sent?”
He reached inside his jacket, pulled out a folded wad of paper, and tossed it on the table in front of me. “Here’s my copy. But before I sign it, there are things I need to say to you.”
Here we go.
I brushed several stray leaves from the seat of the chair next to mine, before pushing it toward him. “Have a seat, and say what you want to say. Just don’t expect it to change my mind.”
He ran one hand through his hair, before he grabbed the chair, positioned it to face me, and sat down on it. “Before I begin, I need you to promise that you’ll hear me out.”
I furrowed my brow at him. “We’re both reasonable adults.”
He gave me a wry look. “Reasonable adults with hot tempers and a history of interrupting each other.”
“Fine,” I said. The sooner he got through whatever speech he intended to make, the sooner I could shut him down, get him to sign the divorce papers, and finish choking down today’s ration of the misery I’d brought on myself by falling in love with him. “I won’t interrupt you.”
For a long moment, he just looked at me. “I’ve been an idiot, Ava. Throughout our relationship, I’ve screwed up at every turn. Before I met you, I’d never fallen in love. I didn’t think I was even capable of that kind of love, the kind of love you deserve. But last night, I finally understood what being in love is and realized what everything I’ve been feeling over the past few months truly means. I love you, Ava. I started falling in love with you soon after we moved in together, and long before our wedding day, my heart was already yours. I know I’ve made more than my share of mistakes, but I love you with everything in me, and if you’re willing to give me a second chance, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
For a moment, I just stared at him, speechless. Why was he telling me that he loved me? He had to know that I couldn’t possibly believe him. But then the explanation dawned on me, and when it did, my anger mounted. For him, saying that he loved me was just another way of buying time—and I was having none of it.
“Where the hell is this coming from?”
“Last night, Cara helped me see the truth,” he said. “I’m in love with you, just like you’re in love with me.”
“Was in love with you. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve moved on.”
“I don’t think you have.”
Outraged, I leaped to my feet and glared at the man who’d first broken my heart and then trampled it to dust. If I was ever going to move on with my life and put this fake marriage behind me, I needed to put Ronan in his place once and for all. Which meant convincing him that I was over him—even if deep in my gut, I knew I wasn’t.
So in an effort to protect my heart, I struck back as hard as I could. “You don’t know shit about how I feel, so don’t even try to go there. This is just another way of buying time for yourself, and you know something? After everything you’ve said and done, trying to manipulate me like this is really fucking low. Before today, I would have said that my opinion of you couldn’t possibly sink lower—but congratulations. You’ve outdone yourself.”
He stood up and reached toward me, as if to seize my shoulders, but when I stepped back from him, he dropped his arms to his sides, frustration evident on his face. “Why won’t you believe me?”
My anger spilled over. “That’s rich, coming from you. Do I seriously need to spell it out?”
His gaze darkened. “Throughout our relationship, I’ve never been anything but truthful with you. The week before our wedding, when I said I didn’t love you, I was wrong—but I was telling you what I believed to be true. I’ve never lied to you, Ava. Not once—which is why you should believe me now.”
Why was he making this so hard? I hated speaking to him so harshly, but what choice did I have, since he was refusing to get the message?
Beyond frustrated, I threw everything I had at him. “After the past two months, why the hell would I believe you? When I stood by you through our wedding, and then through your father’s funeral, you never said a word—not one word—to indicate that anything had changed. And last week, when I moved out, you let me walk out that door. The only reason you’re saying you love me is because you want more time, and your little talk with Cara convinced you that this is the only way to get what you want.”
His eyes snapped fire. “It was no little talk, Ava. Cara helped me see that I’m in love with you, and I’m grateful to her for that.”
“Whatever,” I said. “I’m done arguing with you. All I want from you is your signature on the divorce papers so I can move on from this ridiculous chapter in my life.”
His expression was resolute, his lips set in a firm line. “You need to accept that my feelings are real, Ava. One hundred percent real—and all mine.” He held up his left hand, revealing the platinum band on his finger. “See this ring? I haven’t taken it off, because I didn’t want to. I still don’t.”
Seeing the ring on his finger nearly killed me, and my emotions threatened to overwhelm my fragile self-control. I was seconds away from melting down in front of him, which was the last thing I wanted to do. Wasn’t breaking my heart enough for him? Did he have to destroy my last shred of dignity and self-respect, just to buy time? Because that’s what this was—he was just trying to convince me to give him more time.
“I don’t need to accept anything. You’re the one who needs to improve your relationship with reality.” I pointed at the divorce papers on my worktable. “See those papers? That’s the reality you chose, and I refuse to argue with you any longer. If you’re not willing to do the right thing and sign those papers, then you need to leave now. If you’re not man enough to stand by our original agreement—which includes a no-fault divorce—then I’ll just have to do this the hard way, with my lawyer’s assistance.”
He took a step toward me. “Look at me, Ava. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me. If you convince me, I swear I’ll sign the divorce and leave you in peace.”
I stared him down and ground out the words I needed to say, although each word was a stab in my heart. “Fine. I don’t love you. Now, sign the goddamned divorce.”
>
His eyes narrowed. “That wasn’t very convincing.”
I threw up my hands. “Only because you’re the most stubborn, rock-headed man in existence, and no one can convince you of anything. If you’re not going to sign the divorce, then get the hell out of my office.”
He stepped forward, seized my shoulders, and pressed me against the wall behind me, an instant before his lips crashed down on mine. I placed my hands against his chest and shoved with all my strength, but he was immovable, and as my body betrayed me by responding to his touch, I willed myself to resist him. I had to resist him. But despite my anger, despite my resolve to push him away, something in his kiss began to penetrate the barriers I’d built to protect myself. Passionate and possessive, this kiss communicated a depth of emotion I’d never felt from him, and as his lips and tongue tasted, caressed, and ravaged mine, the walls I’d built up against him began to crack, and my certainty along with them.
Was he telling the truth? Could he really be in love with me? Because if he was, my own truth was that while I’d tried my damnedest to close my heart and push him away, I’d never truly stopped loving him. Maybe I never would.
Just before he released me from his embrace, I felt moisture against my face. And as he stepped back from me, a tear escaped his left eye and rolled down his cheek.
“Why are you crying?” I asked.
He met my gaze, his eyes dark with pain. “I guess I never thought I’d be able to kiss you again.”
Was this really happening? He’d always been a rock, and I’d never seen him like this. He’d never been this vulnerable, and his face wasn’t lying to me. Neither were the tears that glistened in his blue eyes.
I took a deep breath before I spoke. “Ronan, are you sure about this?”
Nothing in his expression wavered. “I’ve never been more sure in my life.”
In that moment, my last barrier crumbled, and I finally believed him. He loved me. He was in love with me. I stepped toward him, wrapped my arms around his torso, and rested my head against his broad chest as tears welled up in my eyes, and joy streaked through my soul.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry for everything I just said to you. I thought you were just trying to buy time, but now I see that you aren’t.”
“You’re not to blame,” he said. “This is on me.”
“I can’t believe that we’re here—but I’m so happy that we are.”
For a long time, we just held each other, absorbing the wonder of the moment. When we finally released each other, Ronan cleared his throat, before dropping to one knee in front of me.
“This time around, I’m doing it right,” he said.
For the second time today, he’d surprised me, and my lips curved in a smile. “I never realized you were superstitious.”
“When it comes to you, I’m not prepared to push my luck any further than I already have.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out two familiar rings—my engagement ring and my wedding band—before looking up at me. “Stay married to me, Ava. Be my wife and the mother of my children. I don’t deserve you, and no doubt I never will, but if you stay married to me, I swear to spend the rest of my life loving you and doing my best to be worthy of you.”
Smiling through my tears, I held out my left hand to him. “Yes. A million times yes. I love you, and there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more.”
Joy spread across his upturned face as he took my hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed it, before slipping the two rings onto my finger and running his thumb over their glittering stones. I put my other hand over his, intending to tug him to his feet and seal our renewed marriage with a kiss.
“Take me home, Ronan,” I said. “Let’s start our new life together.”
“I will,” he said. “But before we go home, there’s one more thing I need to do.”
“What’s that?”
He gazed into my eyes. “When we said our wedding vows, I know you meant yours, but I was confused about parts of mine—which is why I want to say them to you again now.”
When he said that, I couldn’t help tearing up again as he began the simple but profound vows we had chosen for our wedding ceremony.
“I, Ronan, pledge myself to you, Ava. I promise to love, honor, and trust you and to protect you and shelter you. I promise to be a loving husband to you and a devoted father to our children. I promise to stand by you and support you through every challenge we face together and to be your true, loyal partner, lover, and friend for all the days of our lives.”
When he had finished, he got to his feet and pulled me into a searing kiss, a kiss like no other we’d ever shared. Tender and possessive, this kiss spoke of love, with a deep undercurrent of the promises just made, and as he held me in his arms and kissed me with everything in him, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we belonged together. He might be the most stubborn man on earth, and he had a temper that rivaled my own, but he was my stubborn, hot-tempered man—and today, he’d made my dreams come true.
“Let’s make tonight our true wedding night,” he said when we came up for air. “With time and space for us to have our way with each other, like a couple of newlyweds should.”
I leaned back and cupped his handsome face in my hands. “You know something? That’s a genius idea.”
His lips quirked, before parting in a smile. “There’s a first time for everything.” Without releasing me, he reached out with one hand, grabbed the divorce papers from my worktable and crumpled them into a ball. “But before we head home, is there a metal trashcan or sink around here? I’d like to burn these fucking papers.”
He couldn’t have suggested a more meaningful gesture to mark our new beginning.
“Let’s use the utility sink,” I said, reaching for his hand. “We’ll burn them together.”
Afterword
Thank you for reading Heir of the Hamptons! Cara’s story will continue in Park Avenue Player, which will be released in early 2018.
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