by Pamela Ann
The cheeky bastard.
“Oh, please. You’re the one who’s insatiable.” I couldn’t help smiling at him.
But on a serious note, I knew I still loved him. And even though I had held him at arm’s length when it came to my heart, deep down, I knew I would regret not giving us a proper shot at being together. So here I was, ready to bite the bullet for the last time.
“One chance, Drew; that’s all you’re going to get. Fuck it up, and we’re done for good.”
“I swear on everything that’s Holy and divine that I’m going to make you so happy you’re going to get yourself knocked up and propose marriage to me.” He laughed before he held my head and kissed the tip of my nose. “You’re my drug, Chloe. I want you in ways I never thought possible, and I hope someday, once I’ve regained your trust, you will feel even half of what I feel for you. But for now, I just want you to know that I take this promise seriously, that I’ll protect your heart before my own, and that you will always come first before anyone else, before my own interests. Your happiness is my priority for always.”
“Kiss me, please.”
He made me so happy I hoped to God this time we would be able to get it together for it to last.
I was over the moon, and I wanted to stay like that forever.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jackson came back the next day with a huge announcement, so big in fact that I didn’t see it coming.
“What do you mean you’re taking a semester off? Why would you do that, Jacks? It’s not like you’ve got better things to do back home. I mean, of all places, why home? You hated it there, so why go back to the place you couldn’t wait to get away from?”
He shrugged, barely meeting my eyes. “It’s just something I’ve gotta do, okay? I’ll explain later, but I really don’t feel like talking about it.”
“And they’re okay with you taking off like that?” I referred to our parents, not his school.
“Not really,” he said before scratching the back of his head. “But it’s just a semester; that’s all I’m asking. They can’t hold that against me.”
Whatever it was he was trying to figure out, it was blatantly obvious he was tormented by it. Maybe this could be good for him. It wasn’t like he was trying his best in school, anyway. His life was full of parties, which couldn’t be good if you were feeling lost and in need of redirection in life.
“All right. Well, I hope you know what you’re doing. I’m here for you either way, Jacks.”
“I appreciate that, booger face.” He gave me a wan smile. “So, what’s this talk I heard that you’re dating my best friend?” His smile grew, radiating happiness for me.
“He told you?” I gasped before blushing deeply. “We’re still trying to find our groove. I’m not really sure if he’s serious this time, but so far, he’s been very good to me. Too good, in fact, and it scares me that he’ll get sick of it.”
“Have a little faith in my buddy. He loves you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
I wouldn’t go as far as that, but I supposed, as my brother, he wanted to believe it.
Apart from my doubts, things were perking up in my love life. Drew was taking me to the Christmas party of one of his father’s companies a week and a half from today. There was no doubt in my mind that I would definitely be wearing red.
On the days leading to the party, I mostly slept at Drew’s hotel suite, or he would come over and sleep in my bed. With school and work pressing on us since it was almost winter break, we would go to bed exhausted, but together. And I loved that part the most. It was where we shared stories. It seemed more intimate, and I felt as though it brought us closer together.
On the night of the Christmas party, I wore the dress that Chuey had approved when we had gone shopping two days before. My hair had that old Hollywood glamour style with a side up do and the ends were tamed and wavy. It went perfectly with the dress.
“These dresses tend to fuck with my head. They never fail to keep me up at night,” I heard Drew say from somewhere in the bedroom while I was in the bathroom, applying my lipstick.
With a wicked look in my eyes, I grinned as I approached him. “Well, at least this time around, you can ease your mind with knowledge that you can unstrap it whenever you fancy, seeing what’s underneath.”
“Don’t tease me like that, babe. You know I get hard easily when you talk dirty, and we’re already running late. Sporting a boner will slow us down.” His face was a crossover between tortured and aroused, evoking another laugh from me.
“Oh, boo-hoo. You’re fine! Come on, let’s get going, or your stepmother will blame me for being late.” Shrugging, I began to pick up my clutch and wool jacket before frowning back at him. “Why aren’t you moving?”
He glared at me. “I’m kind of hard right now.”
“What?” I huffed. This was seriously not the time to be horny. “Can’t you walk, like, in little steps or something?”
Drew glowered deeply, as if I had just suggested the most annoying idea. “Give me a moment. Maybe you should put that jacket on,” he suggested. “Babe, please, come on. This is not funny.”
He was insane, and I couldn’t help it. I guffawed so hard I was almost in tears.
“Oh, poor you and your darn dick.” Although I found it beyond hilarious, I began to slip into my jacket, buttoning it up to my neck so he would immediately sober up.
“Thank you. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make fun of me next time.”
Planting a soft kiss on his lips, I fell in love with him all over again. “You’re too cute sometimes, and I do want you just as much.”
He grinned then kissed my forehead. “Good, because it’d be a horrible thing if I didn’t have the same effect on you.”
“Ready?”
“Almost,” he whispered. “Let me hold you for a little bit longer.”
At moments like these, I realized how needy he could be. Never had I imagined Drew Cavendish would resort to such notions. He simply wasn’t the type to be so cliché, but he kept proving me wrong.
His father was hosting a private party at The Met, so it was imperative we looked the part. This was an aspect of Drew’s life that I hadn’t been exposed to, but tonight, I finally saw the vast contrast of our lives when his father announced his only son and heir, garnering Drew more attention. From what he had told me before, people knew about him, but since he hadn’t been publicly introduced, they didn’t know what he looked like. Tonight had changed that.
From what I gathered, Drew’s grandfather had two sons, and for those sons to inherit, they had to have heirs, male heirs, or the portion they ought to get would be sent to a particular foundation. Hopefully, this wasn’t Conrad’s only motive in trying to rekindle his relationship with his son. It would hurt Drew if it were the case.
A part of me was tempted to google his paternal family, but another part of me insisted that I should wait until Drew was willing to reveal the information. I knew he was still trying to acclimate to this new life, and when he was ready to talk, then I would be there.
Drew sat with me during dinner. I was having the time of my life up until I had to excuse myself to use the restroom, and I came across Caroline with Poppy.
Stopping in my tracks, I gave a courteous smile, though it pained me. “Caroline, Poppy, good evening.”
Draped in full regalia of diamonds, Caroline threw me a condescending look. “I had to get reinforcements since you’ve proven yourself a liar, Chloe. You gave me your word that you weren’t going to be permanent, yet here you are, pretending to be someone you’re not.”
The back of my neck began to heat as I tried to control my anger. “And what am I pretending to be, Caroline? Your stepson’s girlfriend? Yeah, it’s not a pretense; it’s the truth. I am his girlfriend. But before you jump into the gold digger tirade, let me point out that I’ve known him his entire life. I’ve been there through the good and the bad, and I doubt that’ll change anytime soon. I can’t
say the same for you, though. You better amp up the Botox, honey, because Conrad might accidentally stumble on his fourth wife if you’re not careful. That would be tragic, wouldn’t it? So spare me the bullshit. I’ve had enough of these high school mean girl antics. You should be ashamed of yourself for stooping so low.”
I could almost see Caroline’s ears releasing steam as she shook with anger, her face red. “You little cunt! You think you’ve got it all figured out? Just wait and see when Drew transfers to Oxford with Poppy this fall. You’ll be history, just like the rest of the slutty lot that came before you.”
My body went cold. “You’re lying.” Drew had never mentioned anything about Oxford.
Caroline’s eyes sparkled in victory. “Go ask him yourself. His father has plans for him, and you best move out of the way. Poppy suits him best. You’re nothing but American trash.”
“I think that’s enough, Caroline,” Poppy chided, seeming uncomfortable. I didn’t think she wanted to be there.
Breathing through my lips, I pinned Poppy with a hateful glare. “Is this true?”
Poppy gazed at me emotionlessly. “It is. It’s already been arranged.”
So much for being a changed man. It was all just a sham. A stupid game Drew liked to play with me, and I hated myself for buying into it. I could console myself that I hadn’t told him I still loved him like I had before.
Heatedly spinning on my heels, I almost ran back to the table. Drew was still sitting at the table, but I saw no one. All I saw was red, telling me to get as far the fuck away from him as I could.
“Chloe?” I heard him say with a hint of alarm in his voice.
He saw how distraught I was, but I didn’t care. Purposely ignoring him, I took my clutch and headed for the exit without even checking out my jacket. I didn’t want Drew to catch up with me.
“Chloe! Stop!” Drew called out from behind me just as I was coming down the damn stairs.
Willing myself not to look back, I barely shivered when I reached the pavement and the winter chill hit my bare skin. Adrenaline rushed through me. I felt nothing but the urgent need to escape, and that was what I did.
Almost there, I thought as I yanked one of the cab doors open before sliding into the backseat.
“Pretty dress, but it’s not worthy to catch pneumonia over, missy.” The aged Rastafarian shook his head with disapproval.
“I’ll try to remember that next time, but could you step on it? I’m in a rush,” I rattled on while my heart slammed against my chest.
“Are you in trouble?” The driver frowned at me through the rearview mirror. “ ’Cause I see a man rushing right behind you. Oh, there he is!”
“No. Just drive now, please!” Of all the cabs, I just had to get into one with a nosy driver. Fuck.
And just like that, the other door opened, and in came Drew, huffing like a true motherfucker as he pierced me with daggers in his eyes.
“Do you have a death wish?” he practically screamed in my face.
“I said the same thing,” the driver muttered. “Where am I taking both of you? The hospital? Or to a department store to get a jacket somewhere?”
“Midtown. 49th street,” Drew interjected without taking his eyes off me. “Aren’t you going to say anything? Don’t I get an explanation or something to justify why you ran out of there like some bat-shit crazed woman?”
“It’s over, Drew,” I murmured, gazing out the window as my eyes began to gather tears.
“Hell no, it’s not over. It’s never going to be over!” he savagely declared. “What the fuck happened, Chloe? You were fine when you left for the bathroom. Fuck, baby, help me out here. Help me understand—”
“Oxford happened. Is that enough for you to understand?” My voice shook, not because my tears threatened to spill itself, but because of anger. I wanted to claw his eyes out for being such an asshole.
“Oxford?”
“Yes, Oxford! According to your bitch of a stepmom and Poppy, that’s where you’re heading soon. I don’t see why you’re wasting your time with me when you’re going to leave and reunite with Poppy, anyway. So leave me alone. I don’t want to be near you.”
“Oxford was an option; that much is true. But that was all planned before you and I got together.”
Drew would have me believe anything. He was full of bullshit.
“I don’t care what you do. I just want you to move out the moment we get home.”
“Please don’t do this. You’re being too harsh.” He tried to reach out, but I swatted his hand away.
“Give him a chance. He seems sorry enough,” the driver commented, obviously entertained.
Drew had promised never to hurt me, but by not disclosing his plans, he still had. How much more was he hiding from me, because I doubted this would be the last.
Wiping the tear that fell down my cheek, I shivered, feeling quite cold all of a sudden. Then, out of nowhere, I felt him drape his dinner jacket around me, enveloping my senses with his intoxicating aroma. Had I not been almost freezing, I would have shoved it in his face.
“I’m sorry, Chlo. I just didn’t think it was that relevant since I changed my mind. Why would I wanna go there when I have you back here?” he rasped out, beyond solemn.
Blocking him out wasn’t easy, but I did the best I could. And when the cab arrived right outside the building, I hurried out, leaving Drew to pay for it while I headed straight into the elevator. Once it opened, I frantically pushed the button to get to our floor, but before it had the chance to close its doors, Drew slipped through in the nick of time. Though he had been running after me, he didn’t look displaced. It irritated me to no end that he still looked as though he had just stepped out of a cologne ad, suave and positively polished.
Standing a few feet away from him, I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I didn’t dare meet his gaze. I was completely done with all this useless drama that I’d rather not be a part of.
“Forgive me, Chloe,” he pleaded.
There was no way I would yield back into his arms. I had given him one chance, one fucking chance, and he had fucked it up.
“After you’re done packing, do me a favor and leave your keys, as well,” I stated as the elevator dinged.
After stepping out, I pulled out my key to let us through the door while he followed right behind me. I wanted him gone, and taking the keys would make sure some of my privacy was restored.
“Chloe, please, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to us.” He tried to block me from getting through my bedroom door, making me fume even more.
“Move. Out. Of. My. Way.” Or this would get ugly really fast.
He was unmoving. “No, not until you hear me out.” He shifted me toward the corner of the wall, both hands planted on either side of my head as he breathed down on me. “What do you want me to say? Tell me, damn you! Fucking tell me so I can fix this.”
“Nothing. I’m just … done.” Plain and simple.
“I’m not going to allow that to happen, babe. I just got you back. You’re crazy to even think that I’m going to give you up just like that. No! Fuck no!” he roared.
“Let me go,” I whispered, meeting his wild gaze. “That’s the only way I can forgive you.”
Pain crossed his face. “I’d rather die than lose you.”
“You already did, Drew. It’s too late now. You’re never going to stop hurting me. That’s just what you do. I should’ve known better than to trust your word.”
“Don’t say that,” he croaked out before cupping my face with his cold hands. “Baby, please. I fucking love you. I’ve always loved you. Do you want me to get on my knees to ask for forgiveness? Because I will. Just tell me what it’ll take.”
Love? He was pulling out the big lies.
“I don’t feel the same way about you. You killed every trace of it.”
He took a sharp intake of breath, as if I had just hurt him where it hurt the most. “Do you really mean that?”
Fu
ck. I was dying inside.
“With all of my heart,” I found myself saying as I watched him look as though I had just eviscerated him inside and out.
He dropped his hands to his sides, no longer holding me prisoner, and I stood there, watching him fish out his key ring and unhook the key to the apartment.
“I—” He paused before breathing through his lips. “Marry me.”
“What?” This wasn’t funny anymore.
“Marry me,” he repeated with all seriousness. “You may not love me anymore, and I’ve gotta admit that shit hurts me, but I do love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for as long as I can remember. It’s through this love that I’m finding the strength to keep fighting for you.”
“You’re willing to marry me even though I just told you I don’t love you?”
He grimaced. “I have enough for the both of us, and I can’t help hoping that you’ll someday learn to love me again. I won’t stop until you do.”
I let out a disbelieving laugh through my tears. “You’re just—stop, please.” My hysterics went into a full-fledged panic when I saw him drop to his knee, hands holding my tensed ones as he sought my eyes, imploring.
“But I’m serious, Chloe. Will you marry me?” he beseeched. “I love you. I always have, even though I tried to kill it. It never died, though, and it’ll never stop. You’re my ultimate. It might sound crazy to you, but I don’t want to be with anyone else. None of them shine brighter than you. Why do you think I’ve kept a room here?
“At first, I thought it was just because I wanted to be around Jackson, but before you arrived, I was barely here. Then, when you came, I became so overwhelmed by the drastic changes of your appearance and attitude that we immediately got off on the wrong foot, and it’s been a wild ride since. And I don’t want to get off this rollercoaster ride, baby. I want to ride it until the very end,” he said.
“Drew, I …” I got too choked up to speak as I sniffed and cried some more. Why was he so flipping crazy?
Still on bended knee, he was unwavering, never losing hope. “I’m not leaving until I get an answer. I’ll stay this way until you see me, until you hear me, until you forgive me.”